Retrospective
by Nuwanda31
Summary: Six months later, Reid learns the truth about what happened between he and Emily. Just as they are reunited, however, someone from Emily's past comes forward who will stop at nothing to take back the woman he loves... including killing Spencer Reid.
1. Distractions

Summary: It's been six months since Reid's gotten his memory back. His two months with amnesia are a fog to him and it's killing Emily. In order to save her sanity, she decides to come clean to him, only to learn of Reid's struggle to hide his feelings for her all these years, thus the fire between them begins to rekindle. Their blossoming romance becomes complicated, however, when someone returns from the past to reclaim the woman he loves, and will do whatever it takes to make Emily Prentiss his again... including killing Spencer Reid.

Disclaimer: Criminal Minds is the property of CBS, the actors, writers, and producers of the show. I have no authority over anything except original characters.

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><p><em>The room was cold. Even beneath her covers, there was a chill on Emily's skin. She shivered in her state of half sleep, pulling the covers close around. It made no difference, the cold went right down to her bones and nothing, it seemed, could warm her.<em>

_With a gasp, Emily jolted awake, alerted by a sound. Like the squeak of a floor board... but had it just been her imagination? An element from the remnants of a dream, perhaps. She waited in the silence, like a doe standing in the wilderness for the sign of a hunter. The seconds mutely ticked by and yet nothing sounded. It was just her restless imagination._

_There it was... another creak. Someone was in her home, and her instincts told her he was coming toward her bedroom. With quick reflexes, Emily reached for the Glock on her bedside table and jumped out of bed. She felt a little exposed in the long white silk nightgown she wore, but the gun in her hand would discourage any thoughts that this was a girl who could easily be taken advantage of._

_The creak sounded again and Emily inched towards the open crack of her bedroom door. "My name is Agent Prentiss of the FBI. Announce yourself, I'm armed."_

_"Emily?" A voice called from the hall._

_Stunned, Emily froze for a moment. She knew that voice very well... what was he doing here at this time of night? Still, just to be safe, she inched closer to door. With her barefoot, she nudged it open and stepped out into the dark hall, gun at the ready._

_"Freeze!" Emily called, startling her intruder._

_Reid stumbled back, taken by surprise. "What are you doing?"_

_"I ought to be asking you that question!" Emily cried, lowering her gun. "What the hell are you doing in my house?"_

_"I want to talk to you." He explained, his voice soothing, but shaky._

_"So you chose to break into my home?" She yelled, furious._

_"How else can I get you to talk to me? You barely look at me anymore, I thought we were supposed to be friends!" He retaliated, just as angry._

_"That still doesn't justify you breaking and entering! Never in my life have I felt so violated!"_

_"Well, I guess we're even then." He stated, and even in the dark, she could see the exasperation and betrayal in his eyes._

_Suddenly, she felt her anger slip away. He couldn't mean what she thought... it had been so long, surely the memory couldn't have come back to him now. "What are you talking about?"_

_"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about. You and I had a relationship... we fell in love with each other and you didn't even bother to tell me!"_

_The courage and power she felt just seconds ago ebbed away, leaving her with a sense of guilt and regret. "I... I wanted to tell you... I just couldn't... I was too scared."_

_"Emily, you're the bravest person I know. How could that scare you?" He wondered._

_"Because I'd already lost you, Spencer!" She exclaimed. "I couldn't lose my friend, too... if you knew the truth, you'd hate me for taking advantage of you! You're standing here screaming at me for being violated, that says it all! I had every right not to tell you then!"_

_"I feel violated because it makes me feel like you don't care about me!" He argued. "We share a beautiful week together and then you brush me aside like it meant nothing... like_ I_ mean nothing."_

_"No!" Emily cried. "That's not why I didn't tell you... I knew you didn't feel the same way anymore. I was going to tell you eventually."_

_"When would that be? At the very last chance you have, like on my death bed?" He questioned._

_"No, just..." She shook her head. "When the time was right."_

_She expected him to yell some more, or turn and walk away. Emily could feel the last remnants of their friendship slipping away from her. But instead, his attitude softened and he gave a light smile. "Well, that time is now... tell me how you feel, Emily."_

_"I..." She was completely caught off guard. All the times she planned this in her head, it never turned out well. Emily was a textbook pessimist, always the glass half empty._

_"Say it." He demanded, and stepped closer to her._

_Emily felt her body shudder, feeling him enter her personal space. He was so close, she could feel his body heat. He hadn't been this close in so long, she'd forgotten how wonderful it was. With a swallow down her tight throat, Emily nervously looked up to meet Reid's passionate hazel eyes, shining as bright as stars in the darkness._

_"I'm in love with you." Emily said in an exhale._

_Reid gave a devilish smile, and leaned closer to her. "There... that wasn't so hard, now was it?"_

_And with that, he met Emily's lips in sensual kiss. She let out a sigh, having missed his kisses so much. Her free hand stroked his arm as both his hands landed on her hips. The kiss turned so passionate, she completely forgot what was in her other hand... and accidentally pulled the trigger-_

BAM! Emily gasped as she woke up with a jolt. She sat up in bed, quickly looking for what gun had just gone off. Once the disorientation wore off, however, she realized it was not the blast of a gun at all. Instead, it was a crash. Her alarm clock had been the cause and now lay on it's side on the hardwood floor. Looking up, Emily scowled at a fuzzy black thing that stared right back at her with glowing green eyes, sitting on her bedside table.

"Damnit, Sergio!" She exhaled, clutching her chest. Emily allowed her breathing to calm down, knowing there was nothing to be concerned about. Slowly, she climbed out of bed and went to pick up the mess, glad her new cat had not broken the clock. All was well, it seemed, but she was still faced with her internal dilemma. That dream had left her agitated and miserable. Those feelings were not so easy to fix.

Again, she let out a gasp. It was almost 8 o'clock. She was supposed to get up two hours ago. Examining the clock, she realized the problem. It had not been a malfunction at all, Emily had completely forgotten to turn on the buzzer. No use crying over spilled milk, though. Quickly, she pushed the cat off her table and set the clock back down before hurrying to hop in the shower. She was definitely going to be late.

This wasn't the first time something like this happened. Lately, Emily had been so scatterbrained and forgetful. It was getting more and more difficult to concentrate on anything... anything except Reid.

It was hard to believe it had only been six months. Six months since Spencer Reid had recovered from a spell of Retrograde Amnesia. Though he'd only lost his memory for two months, it had been an incredible challenge for both himself and the entire BAU team, who had been left with the task of caring for him. Emily had been effected by it worst of all. Because during that time of his changed personality, she and Reid had embarked on a romantic relationship. One that had become so serious, they had fallen in love.

However, after brain surgery and a week long coma, Reid awoke with his memory restored and no knowledge of the time lost during his illness. It had broken Emily's heart that he didn't remember. He only saw her as a friend again, and that left Emily in a very difficult position. Too afraid of losing her friend, she'd put off telling him about it. The hope was he would remember on his own, perhaps he would recall how his feelings toward her had changed. All she could do was hope.

So far, there had been no sign and as the months went by, Emily began slipping away. Her feelings toward him had only grown and become unbearable. Seeing him in that light, for however brief a time, had changed him forever. Everything he did now was different for her. Things she used to like about her friend made her fall deeper in love with him, and even worse, things she used to find annoying, she found so adorably cute. He was irresistable in her eyes and the only way she could keep her sanity was to keep him at arms length. She spent as little time around Reid as possible. At first it had been helpful... but it was only a temporary solution, which was not working anymore.

After her quick shower, Emily rushed to get ready. She dried her hair and quickly dressed. She hurriedly packed a go bag, which she used to do on Sunday nights, another sign at how distracted she'd been. Even now, as she refilled Sergio's feeder and automatic water trough, her mind drifted back to the dream. It wasn't the first time she'd had it, although it was the first time the gun went off, silly cat. She wondered if perhaps it was a message from her subconscious informing her enough time had passed. That if she wanted her life back, she needed to face her problem head on.

That didn't inspire her with much confidence. At least, however, she didn't have to decide this on her own. She did have someone she could talk to. Saying it out loud might help. It was nice to have someone in her corner, and she was going to discuss it privately with him the first chance she got. With that in mind, it filled her with a bit more strength and, at quarter to nine, Emily grabbed her bag, her badge, and gun, gave Sergio one more pet before leaving him for the week, and then headed off to work.

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><p>The rest of the team arrived at their usual time. Just after nine, everyone gathered in the conference room, ready to journey forth on their next case. Eastlake, Ohio was their intended destination this time to apprehend a family annihilator. It was a serious case that required the utmost attention, which Reid couldn't seem to give.<p>

Emily wasn't here yet and that worried him. They had decided to start without her, briefing her on the plane after she arrived. It bothered Reid how distracted she seemed lately. He sensed something was troubling her, but she was very secretive about it. That wasn't news, Emily was a very private person. But this was more than just keeping something bottled up... it almost seemed like she was avoiding him.

That's what bothered Reid most of all, because there was no one he cared for more than Emily Prentiss. He'd been in love with her for over five years now, but more relevant, she was his best friend. Feeling her pull away like this over the last few months was difficult to handle, leaving Reid with a lot of restless nights and wandering thoughts. Even more than usual. To make matters worse, it appeared his romantic feelings for Emily had become much more intense over the last few months. He often had dreams about her, he often felt his impeccable mind developing fantasies that he couldn't control... but these were almost real. Slow dancing with her in a bar... a hot, rose scented bubble bath... even making love in her bed, and that one haunted him the most. Reid knew he had to get a grip on these feelings if he ever hoped to have authority of his life again. There was no chance he could ever have the love of such a remarkable woman like Emily Prentiss, and that meant he either had to get over this or fall slowly into insanity.

Although judging by all these new fantasies, he suspected he was already falling victim to the latter.

Adjusting himself in his chair, Reid forced his attention back to the case. Thankfully, none of the others took notice to his lapse of attention, the presentation going uninterrupted.

Just as JJ was finishing, their team was made complete as, at last, Emily arrived. She rushed in with her go bag slung sloppily over her shoulder, not even having the chance to stop at her desk yet.

"There you are, Sweetie, we were getting worried about you." Garcia cried as they spotted her.

"Yeah," Emily said, apologetically. "I forget to set my alarm last night."

Her eyes landed on the only empty seat left at the table. To her fear, she realized it was to the left of Reid. He watched her apprehension, waiting for her to claim it. Emily just couldn't refuse to sit, that would seem odd. No doubt, it would offend him as well. Taking a deep breath to ease her increasing heart rate, Emily lowered herself into the chair, staring at anything that wasn't to the right of her. Her nose automatically inhaled the scent of coffee and something very much like stale vanilla... like the scent of old books. Standing next to Spencer Reid often gave one the sense he was standing in the middle of a vast library.

"You know that's not an excusable reason, Prentiss." Hotch announced, his voice stern.

Anxiously, she pushed a raven lock of hair behind her ear. "I know, sir." She said with her head held high. Emily was not one to cower before people, even superiors. "I understand you'll have to write me up."

Hotch always had a soft spot for his team. They saw the worst part of humanity almost every day of their lives, it was difficult for someone outside of their team to understand how taxing this work could be. They all relied on each other for strength, and that created a seemingly impenetrable bound. "Just don't let it happen again." He said. "We'll brief Prentiss on the plane, we leave in thirty minutes."

With everyone in agreement, they all stood to head back out. Emily slowly got back to her feet, willing herself not to look at Reid. His presence was so close and she knew he was watching her. Despite her effort, her eyes looked up and instantly met his. He appeared so nervous at first, but as she matched his gaze, he gave a smile.

"Are you okay?" He asked, concerned, as he got to his feet.

Emily watched him as he stood. Before she'd fallen for him, she never noticed just how tall this man was. He towered over her in a non-threatening way, that classically handsome look about him. As beautiful outside as he was in. It would have been so easy to fall into his strong arms right now, but she held herself firm, nodding with reassurance. "Yeah, just... a bad night."

His smile seemed to twitch a bit, like he was struggling to keep it. "Guy trouble?"

She let out a light laugh at the irony. "No, nothing like that. I've just got stuff on my mind."

"Well, do you want to talk about it tonight when we get to the hotel?" He asked, a little hopeful.

With a curious quirk, "Didn't we try that once before?"

With a small laugh, he gave a roll of his eyes. "If I promise I won't get attacked before I arrive, would you want to talk about it? If we're not too tired?"

Emily couldn't help it. She'd tried to avoid his eyes - those beautiful hazel eyes she first lost herself in on that dance floor - but now that she'd found them, it was too much to pull herself from their warmth. Her hand acted on it's own accord, reaching up to brush his cheek. "Don't worry about shaving."

With a grin and a wink, Emily grabbed her bag once again and hurried from the conference room. Reid watched the swivle of her hips, the fluidity of her excellent curves, how could any man look at her and not be in love with her... then again, even Reid hadn't been condemned by love at first sight. His emotions were much deeper than that, and much more sincere.

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><p>Emily hurried down the catwalk, but her destination was not the bull pen. She could have used a cup of coffee and a five minute rest before heading to the air strip, but she needed to talk. There might not be another chance before they returned from Ohio.<p>

The office door was closed as she arrived. Emily quickly knock, hearing a casual "Come in" on the other side. Grabbing the handle, she hurriedly rushed in, not wanting anyone to question her reasoning for this visit.

Rossi looked up as she closed the door. He took in her tired expression, the worry and stress evident on her face. "You look like you could use a drink."

"It's 9 AM" Emily pointed out, though couldn't help think she needed one. A real stiff drink, too. "Can we talk?"

Without objection, Rossi closed the file of their new case and sat back in his chair, his hands folded on his lap. Grateful, Emily came to stand before his desk, collapsing in the closest chair.

He waited for a long time to speak, not wanting to force her. She deserved the right to face this at her own pace. At last, with a deep breath, she began.

"I think... I think you might have been right." Emily said.

"You'll have to be more specific." He replied, an egotistical grin spreading over his face.

She chuckled and gave a small smile. It comforted her a bit and she leaned forward. "I think I have to tell Reid the truth."

"Hmm," Rossi nodded. "That's an idea... if only someone had advised you on that sooner."

"I stand by what I did." Emily stated. "Reid had just gotten his life back, he was barely cleared to return to work, dropping that bombshell on him... I had to back off for awhile. I had hoped maybe he might remember by now, but if it's taking this long, I doubt he ever will. At least not without reminding."

"Be happy he didn't." He replied. "If Reid had remembered, or some third party like Morgan had let something slip about it... he'd be furious you didn't say anything. And then you really would have lost your friend. It doesn't take much to break Reid's trust and once you do... it's almost impossible to get back."

Now, Emily was frightened. Her biggest fear was how Reid would respond when hearing this. Sure, she'd love her dream to become reality, to learn he was haboring the same love and attraction towards her, but that was improbable. Reid was more likely to feel used and betrayed. That was sure to break her heart.

Rossi watched her with interest, sensing the internal battle she was fighting. It was difficult to watch this on the sidelines, but sometimes it did more harm to meddle in people's lives than to just sit back and let them make their own mistakes. The best he could do was hope for the best and offer advice when it was asked for it.

"Emily, you're driving yourself crazy keeping this bottled up." He informed, knowing she was about to change her mind. "Tell him, if not for his sake, than for the sake of your sanity. Because if you can't focus on the life around you, you're not good to anybody. You two are the best of friends, at least you were before you started to push him away."

"I haven't pushed him away!" She cried, appalled.

"I know what I see. I know when someone is trying to dodge another, and I know how hurt he is when he gets brushed aside by you. Even if Reid doesn't take to what you say, even if he does feel violated about what happened... he'll at least see that you didn't do this be cruel or play a joke. You care about him. You love him... and maybe that might help him see you in a different light, too."

It gave her confidence the boost she needed. Emily sat up straight, getting to her feet. "Reid and I... supposed to talk tonight... he thinks I have a problem and he's being there as a friend... but that's when I'm going to do it. I'm going to sit him down and explain... everything."

"Good girl." Rossi said with a smile. "We'd better go, the others are probably headed to the plane by now."

Emily agreed, she slung her bag back on her shoulder and waited for Rossi at the door. They walked the way down the catwalk and down the steps into the bull pen.

As they passed Emily's desk, her eyes landed on the top, seeing it as it usual was. Her desk lamp, the In and Out boxes... she smiled as she spotted the star puzzle... now that was odd.

Stopping in her tracks, Emily walked over to see if her suspicions were confirmed. It was the strangest thing she'd ever seen on her desk. Reaching down, she picked up the piece of fabric to confirm what she saw. Yes, it definitely was. A white glove. It was made of velvet and looked to reach all the way down a lady's arm to her fingers.

"What the..." She mumbled, looking it over.

The first thing she thought of was a prank, but this was pretty lame... unless she was missing something. Still, there were only a select few people in her life who would find humor in playing a practical joke on her, and in now way did a formal white glove play into it.

It was certainly strange, but she didn't have time to brood. Emily would think about this later. Quickly, she stuffed the glove into her bag and hurried to catch up with Rossi at the elevator. The glove was soon the last thing on her mind.

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><p>AN: I decided to post this a little early. I hope you guys like how this started and are intrigued to keep reading. I've got lots of stuff planned and I know you're all waiting for a resolution from the last ending. I promise right now, I'm not going to string you guys too far along before some things are resolved. I've got a lot in store for this story, so keep reading. And please review!


	2. Marlee Lockhart

Eastlake was a pleasant little place. It was right next to Lake Erie, making the town a popular tourist spot as well as the hunting ground for their current unsub. The team arrived mid morning, immediately heading out on assignments. Rossi and Morgan agreed to check out the latest crime scene while JJ and Hotch went to assess the case with the other detectives. Reid, as usual, was given the task of the geographical profile which immediately Emily offered to help with. A surprise to him, but Reid accepted the generous offer.

JJ lead the four over to an older gentleman with white hair and a gray suit. He had a sense about him that he was not only wise and experienced in his job, but he was easy to talk to and enjoyed helping people. The perfect combination for someone in law enforcement.

"Captain Gillick," JJ said as she shook his hand. "I'm Agent Jareau, we spoke on the phone. This is SSA Aaron Hotchner, SSA Emily Prentiss, and Dr. Spencer Reid."

Gillick shook hands with each one of the group. "I appreciate you coming so fast. My men and I wanted to handle this quickly, but after the last family was murdered, we realized we're in over our heads."

"This is still your investigation, we're just offering assistance." Hotch assured. It was important to let the locals know they weren't there to take over.

"Allow me to introduce my team, the main detectives on the case, Richard Martin and Perry Long." Each of the middle aged men shook every agents hand, though it was obvious they weren't as pleased by the newcomers as their captian was. "Also, this is Marlee Lockhart, she's been shadowing us on this case as a part of her school work."

A young girl about the age of 25 stood behind the men. She had honey blonde hair and was a little meak looking; definitely not an aspiring cop. Behind her glasses, her blue eyes sparkled with interest as she focused on one particular person. She shook hands with each agent in turn, stopping as she reached Reid. If any of them had to describe it, they'd say she was starstruck.

"Wow, Dr. Reid," She exhaled, a bright smile on her face. "I am a huge fan of yours."

"Really?" He asked, a little stunned. "You follow my work?"

"Oh, yes!" Marlee cried. "I'm currently working on my masters in criminology, I've read all of your papers and your dissertation. You've lead such an amazing career, sir."

As Emily watched the scene, she felt sick to her stomach. Her fingers were flexing into fists to prevent herself from leaping forward and scratching this girls eyes out. No doubt, Emily could definitely take her. What bothered her even more was seeing Reid grin like an idiot and a pink hue appear in his cheeks.

"Well, uh... thank you..." He managed to stammer, a hand running through his long hair. A nervous habit of his. "It's always nice to meet a fan."

"Who's not a psycho," JJ whispered in Emily's ear, unaware of her friend's discomfort. Unlike Emily, JJ was delighted by the sight. Reid so rarely could capture the interest of a young lady, and to come here and find he had a fangirl, that was a real treat.

"I am so honored to have the opportunity to work with you, I think it will be a great learning experience." Marlee stated. It was blatantly obvious she was shaking standing before him. She really admired their resident genius.

"Easy, Marlee, you're getting drool on his sneakers." Detective Long said with a smirk. She retorted with a hateful glare.

"We'd better get to work, time is of the essence." Hotch announced. Without another word, he took charge at once, leading the detectives, the captain, and JJ up the stairs into the precinct.

Emily was about to follow, but realized Reid was not right behind her. She stood a step or two ahead, waiting for him. He was very intrigued by this girl. Not only was she not scoffing him off as some nerd, but she was falling all over herself at the chance to get to speak to him, staring at him like he were some big movie star.

And, needless to say, Reid was not some stammering boy who felt his throat go dry in the sight of a pretty girl. In fact, already having her undivided attention, his nervous demeanor slowly faded and his confidence shown through. "Well, Miss Lockart," He said with a smile. "I have to create a geographical profile for the case. There's a lot I could teach you about that if you'd like to help me."

Marlee gasped. "Oh... I'd love to. Learning from you would be a... remarkable opportunity!"

"Great," Reid said, and they started to climb the stairs. He hadn't even registered passing his fellow teammate on the way up.

Shocked, Emily grabbed Reid's arm, stepping in front of him to block his path. "Excuse me, I thought _I_ was helping you with the profile."

At her protest, he gave her a smile. "I don't need you now, Emily. You can go help the others."

His words were sincere. He had no intention of being cruel or callous, it just came out that way. He didn't catch her hurt expression, either, as he followed Marlee Lockhart to the doors of the precinct. Emily hung back until they went in. Slowly, she made the journey inside, trying to ignore the sensation she'd just been stabbed in the heart.

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><p>The first day of a case often had the same flow. It was getting to know the officials and the area as well as the victims and evidence involved. Emily tried to concetrate with Hotch for the next few hours, discussing with the detectives what their investigation had lead to. She found it extremely difficult to concetrate, considering what could possibly be going on in the next room. She had no idea how productive Reid and Marlee were right now. A laugh or giggle would sometimes reach her ears and it made her cringe, her stomach turning over like an overdone omlette, but other than that, there was nothing. Oh, to be a fly on the wall in that room.<p>

By midafternoon, her curiousity was creeping in her veins. While the others took a ten minute coffee break, Emily remained in her seat. She would have loved to go in and put an end to whatever pleasant conversation they were having, but that would be much too obvious. The door was wide open, though... if her chair was back just a little bit more.

Emily carefully sat straight back in her chair and rocked it onto it's hindlegs. Her neck reached and strained to get a better view of the two, but there was nothing. Taking the risk, she pushed back even further and there was the swish of Marlee's plaid tweed skirt. It just wasn't enough, though. Pushing beyond the limits of gravity, Emily reached further... further... there they were.

Reid was standing before the map of the town, determining the unsub's comfort zone. He seemed to be explaining something to the master's student. A few specific words stood out, but most of it was gibberish, too quiet to be determined. Emily was beginning to see red as her eyes fell on the young girl, standing so close to him... Marlee's every breath had to be filled with vanilla and coffee. She knew very little about this girl, and objectively, Emily would have to say she was a smart, ambitious person with a bright attitude... but seeing her, so close to the man she loved... Emily couldn't help but hate her.

She gasped as she believed she'd lost control of her chair. Any second, it would fall backward and she would be in a world of pain, but instead she was forced back onto solid ground. "That's a good way to break your neck, Prentiss."

Hotch came into view as he reclaimed his seat, a fresh cup of coffee in hand. Emily hadn't intended to get caught, but the minutes had gotten away from her. "Sorry," She mumbled. "I was just curious... as to whether Reid was finished yet."

"Why don't you go in and ask him?" Hotch questioned sincerely. "We need an estimation to when he'll be done, anyway, if he's not."

"Yes," Emily mumbled. "I'm just... worried I'm going to disturb him."

To her surprise, Hotch looked in the direction of the room. She wasn't sure what he could see from there, but amazingly, he gave a small smile. "Well... give him a minute or two longer."

"It's a little unprofessional, don't you think?" She asked with a judgemental expression.

"Not really, he's doing his work and he's teaching." He replied.

"No, he's flirting," Emily corrected. "I know that giggle. That's the same giggle every girl uses to convince a guy his lame jokes are funny."

"Morgan flirts with girls all the time while he's on the job and you don't have a problem with that." He pointed out. "And anyway, she's a different kind of girl. His brand of jokes might actually be funny to her. I think it's nice, Reid never gets this kind of attention. You should be happy for him."

Her anger was rapidly heating and close to boiling now. Emily stood, grabbing her cup. She needed to walk and clear her head for a moment. "I'd be happier if he devoted his energy and attention to this case so we don't spend all week in this mindnumbing town." And with that, she hurried away to the break room.

Her mood did not improve as she reached the coffee pot, finding it empty. Letting out a grumbled sigh, she went to make a fresh one. At least she'd get a few extra minutes because of this.

She watched the hot liquid drop in a steady stream into the carafe, contemplating her dilemma. Typical for something like this to happen. Just like before; they shared a beautiful night together, ending with the confessions of their love, only for her to lose him the next day. The giggling hit her ears again and Emily glanced around the corner to look. Reid and Marlee had returned from the other room, claiming seats at the conference table. Her eyes burned with fury as she saw the little temptress inch her chair as close to him as possible. Emily had to force her attention back to the coffee maker before she went insane with rage.

"Oh, thank God, coffee," Morgan announced as he stepped into the break room. "I am running on no sleep right now."

"Yeah, I know the feeling." Emily grumbled. Her eyes looked to the floor, her teeth grinding like a stone forcing corn into powder.

Morgan looked at her curiously, "What's up with you?"

Her eyes came up to his and she answered with a determined, "Nothing... just..." She let out a huff as she looked at the two talking animatedly in the next room. "I wish people could be a bit more professional while working on a case. That's all."

Interested, Morgan glanced over to see for himself. "Who's that?" He asked.

"Marlee Lockhart," Emily answered. "Some... crimanology student who's following Reid around like a puppy."

He nodded with approval, a prideful smile appearing on his face. "Well, what do you know... just goes to show you there's somebody out there for everyone."

With that, he turned back to coffee. Twisted with longing, Emily let out a scoff, "Could the girl be anymore obvious? She's practically sitting in his lap."

As he set the carafe back on the hot plate, he looked back at Emily with concern. "I thought you told me four months ago that you were over him. That you realized it was a stupid infatuation and you cared more for Reid when he was completely dependant on you. It was... what did Rossi call it?"

It was true, Emily had told Morgan that, but as an attempt to keep him out of her business. She didn't need his interferring, albeit good natured concern to effect her decision. In which case, she made up a convincing lie and he bought it without question. "I can't remember, and I am over him!" She hissed, checking to make sure no one was listening.

"Then why are you so jealous, you're skin is practically turning green right before my eyes." He asked with a cock of his eyebrow.

Her jaw dropped slightly, but she recovered herself. "I am not jealous. My concern is for the case and... let's face it, we rely on Reid an awful lot, probably more than we should. You know how much we struggled while he had amnesia. If he's not focused, we're going to lose this unsub."

"Reid doesn't carry anymore weight than the rest of us." Morgan corrected as he stirred in some cream. He turned to face her, leaning against the counter. "There's no doubt that you're jealous, but if you want my opinion, I'd say it's just some lingering feelings for what you had. You two never really had closure."

"You think I need closure?" She asked. "So you think I should tell him... about what happened?" She asked.

"Hell no!" He cried. "Not now, not if he has a chance with the pretty young thing in there. Don't ruin that for him. He deserves something like this, he deserves to find happiness, just like the rest of us. And maybe if you let this go... you might find someone who makes you just as happy as you were before. Only this time it will be real."

He gave her a reassuring smile. With a pat on her shoulder, Morgan took his coffee and went to take a seat at the table where Rossi was sitting beside Hotch. JJ was returning to the room at that moment, too. Emily suddenly wasn't in the mood for coffee. Taking a deep breath to gather her strength, she went to sit back down, trying to force herself through the rest of the day. Morgan didn't know what he was talking about. She knew her feelings were real, that they hadn't changed when his memory and personality came back, nor that they were the cause of some caregiver for her patient. Maybe he did stand a chance with the pretty girl in there... but there was no way she would know Reid as Emily did, that she could love him as deeply and purely. Reid deserved to know that before he made his choice, and she would tell him the first chance she got.

* * *

><p>It was getting late and everyone's energy was running low. They decided to call it a night, ready to start fresh in the morning. Garcia had several leads to track down back in Quantico. Hopefully she'd have some results when they set back to work. The team had decided to grab some dinner before checking into the hotel. Reid was packing a few files in his bag shoulder bag to study before bed. As he gathered them, Hotch walked back in to grab his jacket.<p>

"I barely need this," He mentioned, folding it over his arm. "It's not too cold out tonight."

"The weather is definitely changing." Reid said, a bit absentminded, which did not go unnoticed by Hotch.

'You seem to have made a friend here." He said, looking at Reid significantly. He was rather pleased for the young man.

"Yeah, Marlee's nice, and very interested to learn." Reid nodded. "I do like teaching. I always thought when I eventually leave the Bureau, I'd become a professor."

"Hmm," Hotch mentioned. "You think it's just your knowledge that she's interested in."

Reid was curious. "What do you mean?"

"You're not that clueless." Hotch shook his head. "She's most certainly interested in the case... but I think she's a bit more interested in you."

"I admit... the thought crossed my mind." He said. "But... I don't know. I don't think anything too long term could come from this."

"That doesn't mean you shouldn't take the chance." Hotch insisted. "It could lead to something really incredible. Who knows... maybe she's the person you're supposed to end up with."

"The concept that there is one perfect person for everyone is not only outdated, but impractical. There's a probability that for one individual person, there's at least 1,000 acceptable matches that could result in a satisfactory union." He answered.

"Spoken like a man who's never been in love." He noted.

"I've been in love!" Reid exclaimed, slightly offended. "There's someone I care about very deeply... I've cared about her for a long time."

"And does she care about you?" He wondered. "Or... even knows that you like her?"

He had him there. "No," Reid moaned. She barely knew he existed. "I know it's silly to pine for someone, especially when you're certain you'll never have a chance with her..."

"Fantasies can be very nice," Hotch explained, "but a lot of times, that's all they are. They're there to get you through until the next great thing... and Marlee could be the next great thing. You should consider giving her a chance."

Reid thought about it, considering it carefully. "Look, I'll try to give you some time with her. When we solve the case, I'll make sure we stay another night... you can take her to dinner."

"I don't know," Reid shook his head. "There would be so much pressure for one date to go well, I'd be too nervous."

"Well, we'll all go to drinks or something. That way you have us as a buffer." And with that, he gave Reid an encouraging smile. "Think about it... some things are worth taking a chance."

With that, he took his coat and headed to the door, knowing the young genius would be following in a minute. Reid finished packing his bag, thinking it over.

Hotch had a point. How long was he going to torture himself over Emily? He didn't stand a chance with her and all this longing was just making him miserable. He'd been going through this for five years... and a person could only take so much. He couldn't do this forever. As painful as it was, Reid had to do it. It was time to let Emily go.

* * *

><p>AN: I'm so thrilled at the response I got over the first chapter! I'm sure you guys will not be disappointed with how the story turns out, but it's not going to be easy getting there! Fair warning, don't kill me! And please review! :)


	3. The Green Eyed Monster

It hadn't been too much of a surprise that Reid never showed up last night. Emily should have expected that; it was't like the two had spoken much to each other yesterday, though he should have remembered. What was a surprise was how upset she was, like she almost wanted him to be captured by their unsub again. The fact that he stood her up hurt worse than rejecting her yesterday... perhaps he had a logical, excusable reason for not coming, but she didn't believe so.

She didn't get a chance to speak to him until they were at the precinct the next morning. He was looking over the map of the city, studying the unsub's comfort zone and looking for a possible trail. Emily was pleased to see he was alone. Normally, she'd call out to grab his attention as soon as she entered the room... instead had a different plan. Quietly, Emily walked into the room, getting as close to him as possible. She reached to put a soft hand on his shoulder, startling him a bit.

"Sorry," She said with a smile. "I didn't mean to frighten you."

"Oh, no," Reid shook his head. "I was just expecting Marlee."

He turned back to the board, luckily missing the sudden resentment that fluttered into her eyes. "I thought we were going to talk last night."

Reid turned and met her eyes, his face was in utter amazement. "Oh my God... I completely forgot."

She gave light smile, "Well there's a first for you."

"I am so sorry, Emily." He exclaimed, and she could see he was geniune. "I... I talked to Hotch right before he left and... it just slipped my mind. Wow..."

"It's okay," She said lightly. "I just... I wanted to make sure you were alright."

"Yeah, I am," He avowed with a gentle expression, and Emily felt her gut do a somersault. "I am sorry, it wasn't intentionally. I promise, as soon as we get back from this case, you and I can go to dinner and we'll have a nice long talk."

"That sounds good." Emily replied, and felt a little easier now. "My treat, okay?"

In that moment, it suddenly dawned on her. When this case was over, she was the one who got to return with Reid. Marlee was going to be left behind while Emily would see him on a daily basis. She shouldn't let herself get worked up just because a pretty girl fawns over Reid. Sure it was an uncommon occurance, but he was rational. He considered every major decision of his life fully before coming to any conclusions. Indeed, he had only chosen a new apartment four weeks ago, and most of the team suspected he'd only taken it because he couldn't stand being around Morgan's dog any longer.

"Sounds great," He smiled, turning back to the map.

With rejuvenated energy, Emily was just about to leave, intending to grab some coffee before everyone got started presenting the profile... but she stopped.

"Just out of curiousity, what did you and Hotch talk about?" She wondered.

"Oh," Reid shook his head. "It was... nothing..."

She was intrigued. "It had to be something if it made you actually forget something. Since you've come out of your amnesia, you're mind's been at it's regular capacity."

At that, Reid turned, meeting her eyes with a worrisome glance. "You promise you won't tell anyone?"

She swore, "Cross my heart."

"Close the door." He requested. Emily hurried to secure it as he took a seat at the small table.

In a rush, Emily went to join him. Just as she had yesterday in Quantico, she took the seat right beside him, this time looking at him immediately. It was an involunatary move, but as she got comfortable, she noticed how she inched her seat a few inches closer to him... just as she'd seen that little girl do yesterday.

"What's up?" Emily asked, her voice low and soft.

"Hotch... gave me... some advice." He said slowly. His long fingers lightly drummed on the surface of the veneer. "I trust you more than anyone, Em, so... I'd really like to hear yours."

It seemed like the perfect moment. She could sit here, help Reid with his problem... maybe even fix it for him. He would be so delighted by her help and then... she could tell him the truth. Perhaps right before they present a profile was not ideal or even very wise... but a better opportunity may not be out there. It had to be now.

"Of course," Emily patted his curled hand with her own. She felt him flinch at her touch a bit. It sprung doubt in her mind, but she immediately pushed it out.

"Do you think Marlee likes me?" He asked, meeting her brown eyes with his soft, yet intense hazel ones.

Emily felt her heart plummet right into her stomach, and from the pain, it seemed the acid was melting it away. She stared at him, hoping the shock wasn't written all over her face. "Marlee," was all she could say.

"Yeah, I mean... we spent most of the day together yesterday. At first, I really thought she was just eager to learn... but after talking with Hotch, I thought it over pretty carefully... and maybe he's right. Perhaps Marlee is infatuated with me."

There was no doubt in Emily's mind. The girl hadn't even been trying to hide it. But instead of revealing that, Emily voiced her own question. "Do you... like her?"

"I think she's a wonderful girl." He admitted with a smile. "She's smart and very enthusiastic about law enforcement. In fact, she said..." He blushed as he revealed, "She said she had to do a paper on a government organization in her freshman year of college... so she did it on the Bureau. She found a lot of information on me and... well, she thinks of me as an inspiration for her career."

"That's... got to be flattering." Emily noted, hoping her voice wasn't shaking with the churning emotions inside her.

"Incredibly," he informed. "I mean, it was like the day I met Rossi. Granted, Rossi didn't exactly inspire me, but when I decided to become a profiler... well, the founder of the BAU, the original profiler, who wouldn't look to him as a role model... sorry, I'm rambling again. Well, we've been getting along pretty well and... Hotch suggested... she might be a little more than academically interested in me... what do you think?"

"Oh, well..." How could Emily say this without lying and not increase his interest in her. From the sparkle in his eyes, the exhilaration in his voice, there was no denying he already had some kind of attraction to the young girl. "I think anyone would act like Marlee if they met their celebrity crush."

"Celebrity crush?" He questioned.

She couldn't help but release a small chuckle. "I am using the term loosely here. I mean... take someone who has been a great influence for you and then put it as a woman."

"The person who is the greatest influence for me is a woman." Reid explained.

"There you go. Now, try to imagine what it would be like to meet her. Wouldn't you automatically be attracted to her?" She wondered with a knowing expression.

"Absolutely not. The Oedipus Complex is resolved, usually by age six." He said.

Emily let out an annoyed sigh. "I wasn't referring to your mother, Reid. Someone outside of your family, whom you've never met before... forget it, I just meant... Marlee's spent a great deal of time idolizing you, fantasized meeting you and having conversations with you. She's set impossible standards in her mind that no one could ever live up to, even someone as amazing as you. Now, I could be wrong about this, and her feelings are sincere... but she doesn't know you Reid. Her romanticized version of you doesn't see the flaws and quirks that make you human... and it takes someone who truly cares for you to not only see them... but to embrace them."

"Wow," Reid said, considering her words carefully. There was a long silence as his brow furrowed, his mind contemplating her theory. After a few minutes, he looked up to meet her gaze. "Thank you, Emily. Due to my lack of experience, social aspects of people is a bit beyond my grasp."

"You're welcome," Emily smiled, brushing his shoulder affectionately. He tensed a bit, but he didn't flinch away.

If she could have left well enough alone, perhaps things would have gone much more smoothly. But Emily's mouth always had to get in the way, and so continued with. "If you do like her, that's great. There's nothing wrong with that. But due to her impossible standards... dating or a relationship might not end well."

That made his expression change. "That is true..." He shrugged as he met her eyes one last time. "But I do like her. She's pretty and sweet and she makes me smile... I think I owe it to myself to at least take the chance. And you never know, it might work out."

She could have argued. Emily could pointed out the odds were stacked against them, with long distance and the stress of this job mixed in with her earlier arguement, it would be a miracle if the two would last six months. But she couldn't bring herself to say any of it. "You're right... it might."

"I mean, it worked for JJ and Will... they met on a case and had a long distance relationship... and now they're married and get happier every day." He grinned. "I think I'd like to have that."

Before Emily could retort with her own opinion, Reid leaned over and pressed a kiss on her cheek. She was instantly mute, shocked by the long lost feel of his lips on her skin. She met Reid's smiling face as he pulled away. "Thanks, Emily, I appreciate you listening. You're such a wonderful friend." She was still silent as he got to his feet. "Dinner will be on _me_, by the way. It's the least I can do."

"Sure," She mumbled. "Glad I could help."

"I'll see you out there." Reid said, and stepped casually out the door.

The door swung closed behind him. "Oh, God," Emily moaned as her arms folded onto the table, allowing her head to collapse on them. She absolutely loathed herself, knowing how much deeper a hole she'd dug herself in. If she didn't do something, she was going to lose him forever.

* * *

><p>"We are looking for a white male in his early to mid twenties." Hotch announced. The BAU stood before the large room of detectives and officers, all listening intently at the profile of their killer. "We can determine this unsub was orphaned or abandoned before the age of ten, most likely spending the rest of his childhood in foster care."<p>

"Considering the agression taken out on the victims," Morgan continued. "These foster homes were abusive in nature, it's very possible he was abused by his biological parents as well. More than likely, in these foster homes, only select children suffered the majority of abuse, usually the children who, in the caregivers eyes, misbehave. These homes tend to have a lot of rules and if they're not followed to a the letter, severe punishment is enforced. The children who aren't punished turn on these kids. They purposely get them into trouble and bully them themselves."

"We believe this unsub has a missing paper trail, which is why it's difficult to track him down." Rossi continued.

"Missing paper trail, what do you mean?" Detective Martin asked.

"He's missing some, if not all of his identification. Birth certificate, social security card, anything that identifies him as a living American citizen. These things are very difficult to get once you reach adulthood. Without them, he can't go to college, join the military, get a job, even qualify for financial assistance, like Welfare."

Reid spoke next, injecting the psychological view of the assesment. "This is all forming a sense of abandonment and betrayal. He's been deserted, first by his real family, his replacement families, and now his own country."

At that, he caught Marlee's eye. She was staring at him in awe and wonder. Reid had to concentrate so his voice wouldn't crack as he continued. "He has no home, no sense of belonging. This has turned him into a sociopath."

Emily didn't even bother to hide her contempt at this. She stood on the other side of Rossi, entranced by the spectacle on the other end. For a moment, she forgot where she was and that it was her turn to speak. Everyone was staring at her in anxious silence. With a slight gasp, she turned to the group, getting her mind back on track. "He can't live alone because he can't support himself otherwise. Odds are, he's discovered an older relative he has to care for. In which case, for means of an income, he burglarizes. He most likely has a record, but a short one. Esculating to murder took a long time. Our theory is he broke into a home and was attacked by the father. The unsub killed him in a struggle and suddenly found a release for all his anger."

"So his main reason for the attacks is to rob the home?" Detective Long wondered.

"Originally," Rossi corrected. "Now, it's to kill. Robbing is the afterthought."

"In cases like this, he will continue killing until he is caught." Hotch informed. "We're running out of time. The unsub will realize how small a hunting ground this town is and he stands a better chance moving to a major city. He's intelligent enough to cover his tracks, so more than likely, he'll go out of state. If we don't catch him before his next victims, we may never find him."

With everything they needed, the officers went off to begin their investigation. Hotch and Rossi followed Captain Gillick to form a suspect list. The others gathered around the conference table, in wait for Garcia to call back on any of their leads. Emily pulled the closest file to her, trying to distract herself so as not to look at the scene across the table.

"I am speechless!" Marlee cried, still staring at Reid in wonderment. "How do you know all these things about the killer, you've never even met him. You don't even know his name!"

"Human behavior doesn't change very rapidly." He explained, turning to face her. "It evolves and changes with time, but it's easily determined from person to person. Everyone has the same basic emotions and development, it's easy to tell what a person is like with a few specific clues."

"Dr. Reid is excellent at his job." Emily mentioned as she looked up from the file. She gave a contemptable expression, folding her hands on the table top. "Tell me, Miss Lockhart, are you interested in a career in profiling?"

It was a legitimate question, but her foreboding tone put both of them on alert. "Uh..." Marlee stammered. She hadn't been expecting to answer this question. "Well... I haven't decided what part of law enforcement I want to get involved in... to be honest, I've been thinking of going for a doctorate."

"Ah," Emily said. It was blatantly obvious she was mocking. "And what will you do with a Ph.D.? Teach perhaps?"

"Well..." Her blue eyes darted around a bit, as if searching for the correct answer. Reid looked to Emily with concern, his expert profiling skills kicking in once again. "I would enjoy teaching at the collegiate level, or perhaps I'll go into research."

"Research or teaching. That sounds like a perfectly safe existence. Wouldn't want to risk your neck out there fighting actual crime, would you?" She sneered.

"Emily, there's nothing wrong with teaching." Reid insisted, looking to her intensely, mentally trying to convey her to back off.

"And I haven't made a decision." Marlee assured. She looked to Reid, "I mean... as I said yesterday, I think working for the FBI would be phenomenal. Maybe I could even be a profiler."

"It's a specialized skill," Emily stated, remembering Hotch's words to her when she first began. "We can't just let anyone in who wants to give it a try."

"But there are lots of divisons in the Bureau." Reid assured, giving her a confident smile. "Even if you don't have the skills for profiling, there are dozens of departments all with different requirements. I'm sure you'd find a fit somewhere. There's also the Secret Service, Homeland Security, and if you're really ambitious, the CIA."

"Yes, every organization needs a good researcher." Emily mumbled, turning back to the file.

"Excuse me!" Reid cried, pulling her attention back to him. "Is there something you'd like to share, Emily?"

It seems her work was done, however. Emily suddenly felt guilty as she saw the downtrodden expression on the girl's face. "You know, I think I could use some coffee." Marlee muttered, a slight choke in her voice like she were about to cry. She quickly stood and hurried to the break room. Reid watched her retreat and turned to his friend, appalled.

"What was that about?" He demanded, lowering his voice so as not to attract attention.

"I just asked a few questions, I'm not allowed to be curious?" She wondered, hiding her discomfort. Emily hadn't meant to be so offensive, but the green-eyed monster was difficult to control.

"No, you interrogated that poor girl and told her she was weak!" Reid snapped, his beautiful hazel eyes glowed with disgust. "She's a young ambitious student, don't tell me when you graduated from Yale, you were as strong as you are now. I remember being Marlee's age, I had a lot more knowledge and a lot more fear!"

"You know, what I said can barely be construde as an insult!" Emily hissed, getting to her feet. "She gets a few left handed remarks and breaks down into tears. If that girl has any ambitions into joining the Bureau, her skin better get a lot thicker!"

And with that, Emily snatched up the file and walked away. She didn't hurry, but there was an extra determination in her step. As usual, Reid's eyes landed on the sway of her hips, but quickly looked away. He'd never seen such an ugly side of Emily... perhaps it was best he force himself to move on.

Of course, that was easier said than done. Last night, his dreams had been filled of that hot bubble bath again. The smells, the heat, the feel of her body against his under the warm water... it was so real, he could have sworn his skin was pruned when he got out of bed this morning. How was he supposed to let Emily go if his mind was hanging on?

He just needed another female to shift that attraction to, something real his desires could be centered on. Reid wasn't in love with Emily, he just wanted to be in love. And maybe he could fall for Marlee...

_Then perhaps you should get up and make sure she's oka_y he thought to himself.

That was a good idea. Reid quickly got to his feet and hurried after the young girl. Although he couldn't help considering, if he really were infatuated with this girl... would he even have to think about chasing after her?

"Don't overthink it," He muttered, and tried to push the doubt from his mind.

* * *

><p>The day had been triumphant. Thanks to Garcia tracking down some leads, they discovered a man named Richard Lennox who fit the profile spotlessly. They raided his grandfather's home, a man so senile, he didn't even know what city he was in, only to discover Lennox was on his way to strike his next family of victims. After a little investigating, they tracked him to a large home on Chestnut Street, and stopped him before any of the members were harmed inside.<p>

The BAU team returned with the detectives to the precinct to find JJ and Marlee waiting for them, both cleaning up the papers and debris from the last two days of work. In the effort to get the most out of her shadowing, Marlee found Reid quickly to ask a long list of questions. Emily pretend she wasn't interested as she gathered her own belongings.

"So... now what happens to him?" She wondered.

"Well, it's really in the hands of the detectives and the DA now." Reid assured, packing his shoulder bag. "With or without a confession, there's enough evidence to convict him. He may even get the death penalty."

"But that's up to a judge to decide." Morgan interrupted as he came into the conversation. He gave Marlee a confident smile before looking to Reid. "We're heading out, kid, the dectectives want to take us out for drinks, you coming?"

Reid checked his watched, nestled over his sleeve as usual. "It's still pretty early, shouldn't we be flying home?"

"Hotch thought we should stay another night." Morgan said with a shrug, although he knew their chief's true intentions. He was just as willing to help Reid in this process as Hotch. "You coming?"

"Uh..." His stomach was twisting into more knots than a Celtic design. Mustering his strength, he fought through it and nodded. "Yeah... I'm coming..." He looked to Marlee and gave her smile. "Can I buy you a drink?"

The blush in her cheeks was evident. "I'd love one." She smiled, and the hint of flirtation was in her voice. Emily had forgotten what she was doing, just staring at the two in partial shock.

"Great, let's go," Morgan said, ushering them to the door. "Prentiss, you coming?"

Her ears seemed to be working in slow motion. Morgan's question traveled to her brain so slowly and she just stood there, stagnent. Suddenly, with a slight gasp, she regained function, at last pulling her bag over her shoulder. "Uh... no, I'm tired. I'm going back to the hotel."

At that, Reid stopped. He looked back to Emily with concern. His hand on Marlee's shoulder, he leaned down speaking low enough so only she could hear. "I'll be right out, I just want to talk to Emily."

She looked back over her shoulder. Marlee looked to Emily coldly, having grown a great dislike for the older woman. But she gave a nod and headed to the door. Morgan followed, leaving the two alone.

"What's going on?" Reid asked as he stepped closer to her.

"Nothing," Emily snapped, fumbling with the buckles on her bag which seemed hellbent on staying open.

"Yes there is," He said softly. His voice was gentle, walking beside Emily, a friendly hand landing on her arm. "Is it what's been bothering you?"

She shuddered for a moment under his touch, so warm and inviting. Taking a slow deep breath, she stopped messing with her bag. Emily looked up to meet Reid's eyes, not expecting him to be so close.

She could kiss him. It would be so easy to do it. Just reach up and close those five inches of spaces by meeting his lips. Emily missed the feel of those lips so much... the taste of his kiss was haunting her... her insides were screaming at her to throw caution to the wind and just make him hers again... but her fear held her back once more.

"I have some things on my mind." She explained, backing away to remove any temptation. "It's been distracting me and... irritating me, I don't... I don't know what to do, Reid."

"It sounds like it's making you miserable." Reid insisted. "What's going on with you? Are you in trouble or something? Is someone after you?"

"Not that I know of," She joked with a light laugh. Reid didn't find it funny, though, just staring at her with concern. She cleared her throat. "No, it's nothing like that. It's... personal."

"You need to relax." Reid assured with a sweet smile. "I promise, you and I are going to sit down and talk this out. Whatever it is, we'll figure it out together, as soon as we have a free night. Don't worry, it'll be alright."

"I'm not so sure about that, Reid." Emily mumbled.

"Well, I'm a lot more optimistic than you, so trust your friendly neighborhood genius." He teased, and grinned as at last, Emily emitted a cheerful laugh. "Come on, you're not going to have any fun by yourself at the hotel, come out with us."

Emily wanted to say no. The word was formed perfectly on her tongue, ready to decline his invitation, but once again, her mouth had a mind of it's own. "Only on the condition you buy me a drink."

Reid gave her a innocent, boyish smile. "Two pretty girls want me to buy them drinks. When did I become such a ladies' man?"

She couldn't help but chuckle. "Well, Ladies' Man, if you don't mind giving me another minute, I will meet you out there."

"I'll be waiting," He mentioned. Without another word he stepped out of the room and Emily turned back to fighting with her back. She worked slowly, very slowly, trying to put this off as long as possible.

Just outside the doorway, Reid stopped and hung back a moment, admiring her from afar as he always had. He hated to think what was making her so unhappy, wanting desperately to make it better for her. If he could only have her... he would spend every waking moment making her the happiest woman in the world.

* * *

><p>AN: Just wanted to say Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone! :)


	4. Crossroads

It was typical crowd for a Tuesday night. The detectives claimed to like this place because it generally avoided the tourist traffic. Plus with it's dark atmosphere and shabby, out dated decor, it was definitely an aquired taste. The important thing was it served alcohol and played music on the juke box, just what the team was looking for after a tough case.

Everyone had their favorite spots in the bar. Hotch and Rossi sat with the captain at an out of the way table near the back, away from hustle and bustle of the main crowd. All three sat with with a glass of scotch, telling stories from life on the job. Morgan wasn't inside the building for more than ten minutes before spotting some accessible prey and went to work his game. No doubt he'd have another notch in his belt before flying home tomorrow morning. Martin and Long, who had taken a shine the friendly media liaison, were avid dart players and JJ couldn't resist challenging them to a game. Reid and Marlee made a beeline for the bar with Emily in pursuit, begrudgingly the third wheel.

"I really hate this place," Marlee muttered with a disgusted look. "It always smells like cigars and booze."

"Actually, the average bar or tavern has approximately ten different smells, including varrying alcohol and tobacco products. These establishments don't typically practice proper cleaning maintence so the smells tend to fester." Reid mentioned.

Marlee seemed impressed, but still slightly bothered by his comment. Most people were until they became accustomed to him. "Wow... I didn't know that... you certainly have a lot of information."

"And he likes to recite it." Emily agreed. "Frequently."

"I think I promised you both a drink, so... Marlee?"

"Oh, uh... I don't drink very much, um... a rum and coke, I guess." She suggested with a questioning smile, as if wondering if he would approve her choice.

"Rum and coke it is and Emily, Heineken?" He asked, with a raise of his eyebrow.

It wasn't a surprise he knew her choice of beer. They'd drank enough over the years for anyone to know that. "Light," She specified with a nod.

"Coming up." He smiled and stepped off his stool to track down the bar tender, who was clear on the other side. He left the girls alone.

Marlee was sitting awkwardly on her stool, ankles crossed like a lady, her hands in her lap. One good push would shove that girl right to the floor, Emily considered, stifling a chuckle at the idea. She was not quite so dignified, straddling her seat in a more comfortable position. She observed the entire tavern, taking in the customers around her. The music was playing at a good level, not too loud, but enough she could enjoy it.

She was fully aware that the whole time, Marlee was staring at her. "So... how long have you know Dr. Reid?"

It seemed her silence and lack of attention wasn't enough of a clue that she wasn't interested in talking. She wasn't put off by Emily's comments this afternoon, meaning this questioning was more an effort to get to know Reid better. She couldn't care less about Agent Prentiss. Slowly, she turned to meet the girl's anxious and curious gaze. "About five years." She answered.

"You must be close." Marlee mentioned. She was hinting at something, that Emily could decipher.

"We've been through a lot together." Emily explained. "He's saved my life and I've saved his... and we have a lot in common, too."

"You seem like very good friends." She noted, and smiled. On the outside, it appeared friendly and sincere, but Emily could see through it. On the other side wasn't malice or jealousy or cruelty... it was something softer than that. She couldn't quite pin point it, though.

"Best friends," Emily corrected. "We care a lot about each other."

"I'm sure you do." Marlee commented with a nod, and her eyes twinkled at her. Almost like she wanted to shed a tear for Emily. That was it... She knew she'd already gotten the upper hand. Marlee felt pity for her.

She didn't know it, yet, but this was a crossroad moment in Emily's life. She would often look back on this over the years, usually chuckling at her stupidity and insecurity. At that moment, Emily almost got off her stool. She almost picked up her things, almost told Marlee to tell Reid goodnight, and had almost gone back to the hotel. If she had, her life would have very different... she might even be dead. But the moment passed and Emily stayed put. Another second passed and Reid arrived with their drinks, setting the glass and swizzle stick in front of Marlee and the green long neck bottle before Emily.

"Aren't you drinking?" Emily asked. The smell of the beer wafted up to her nose and she was suddenly so thirsty.

"Nah, I better stay sober. I know how you get after you've had a few." He mentioned with a smile and wink. Suddenly, like a teenager, Emily emitted a giggle, blushing a little bit. How he could always make her grin like an idiot was ridiculous... no one had ever done that before.

Marlee had been watching with rapted attention. She did not like how this scene was progressing... the connection he shared with this woman, she wanted that with him. Quickly, she reached over to grab Reid's hand. "How about I thank you for this drink with a dance?" She asked with a sweet smile.

Reid met her eyes and his cheeks turned a bit red. He wanted to stay here. Talking with Emily seemed a lot more fun than dancing with anyone else in the world. His thoughts lingered for a moment on that night a year ago, when Emily had been so drunk she could barely stand. She had kissed him outside her door... the first and only real kissed he had shared with her. He'd give anything to experience that again... he'd even settle for her just remembering it.

But there was a sober girl right beside him who was giving him the time of day. He couldn't just lose himself in a fantasy anymore. "Sure," Reid nodded, climbing off his stool. "We'll be back."

"Have fun," Emily forced a smirk and toasted them with her drink. She watched the girl flow easily over to juke box to chose the right song for them. If she played anything by Sting, Emily was going to walk over and slap that girl's smile right off her face.

"I'm... I'm not much of a dancer." Reid said sheepishly as she looked over each song selection.

"Oh, don't worry about it." Marlee teased, batting her bright eyes at him flirtatiously. "It's all about movement... you've just to listen to the music and loosen your hips."

At that, her hand stroked lightly on his hip, just over the hem of his pants. Reid didn't even tense at the feel. He got just as much a thrill out of her touch as he would from Morgan's.

Across the bar, Emily was watching them with undivided attention. Her stomach churned like a ship on the sea in a storm as her delicate hand stroked his hip. It wasn't fair. He didn't go rigid and move away from her touch... why couldn't Emily make him comfortable like that? Why was he always inching away from her.

"Do you like Country music? There's a lot of that on here. It's big in this area." Marlee mentioned, indicating the song selection.

"Uh..." Reid considered it. "I don't listen to it primarily, but every genre has it's good and bad qualities."

"How about..." She slipped in her quarter and pressed the selected numbers. "This, it's one of my favorite songs. It's nice... and slow..."

"I... think I can... I can handle that." He stammered.

Her hands slipped into his and Marlee looked up to meet his eyes. "Great," She said in a breathy tone and lead him out onto the floor.

Emily continued to watch over the rim of her bottle. She couldn't have look away if an elephant walked into the bar at that moment. The two stepped away from the juke box and Emily gringed, practically gripping the wood of the bar to keep herself from getting out of her seat and scratching that pretty little girl's eyes out. She was putting her hands on him... didn't she realize he belonged to her?

But despite her thinking, he didn't belong to her. Not anymore. This morning had been her last chance and Emily had missed it. Reid had made his decision and anything she would say now would just be selfish... he would believe she only wanted him because he was with someone else. He'd call it Freudian logic, no doubt, though Reid didn't put much stock in Freud and his theories.

A new song began to play. It was very unfamiliar, in fact Emily had never heard it before. The few couples on the floor moved drew closer, moving at the appropriate rhythm. Reid claimed Marlee's left hand, his own falling into the small of her back, just above the hem of her skirt. Emily took a long swig of her beer, watching the young couple on the floor.

_We've been friends for a long, long time_  
><em>You tell me your secrets and I tell you mine<em>  
><em>She's left you all alone and you feel like no one cares<em>  
><em>But I've never failed you, I've always been there<em>

_You tell your story, it sounds a bit like mine_  
><em>It's the same old situation, it happens every time<em>  
><em>Can't we see that maybe you and me<em>  
><em>Is what's meant to be, but do we disagree?<em>

As the song played, Emily watched them dance. They stood awkwardly together, unsure how close they should be. That was exactly how She and Reid were when they first danced together. She remembered what it was like to be in those arms, to be so completely lost in his essence, everyone and everything around them disappeared into the void. That was the luckiest girl in the world right now. And it made everything inside Emily ache.

_What if I told you (What if I said)_  
><em>That I love you<em>  
><em>How would you feel, what would you think,<em>  
><em>What would we do?<em>

_Do we dare to cross that line_  
><em>Between your heart and mine<em>  
><em>Or would I lose a friend<em>  
><em>Or find a love that would never end<em>  
><em>What if I said<em>

It was an eclipse. Emily couldn't look anymore; it hurt too much. She turned her attention to the bar and took another gulp of beer, just about draining it.

"Hey beautiful," A sultry voice said to the other side of her. An unfamiliar hand slid around her lower back and Emily went rigid. "You looked like you could use another drink."

"I'm fine right now, thank you," Emily mentioned, waving the last few drops of her beverage.

She met his grinning face and scruffy appearance and detected the unmistakeable scent of whiskey on his breath. It made her retch. "Oh, come on," He said with a pair of big puppy dog eyes. "A pretty girl like you shouldn't be alone."

She couldn't decern what was more disgusting. That men acted like this to pick up women or that women actually went for it. "I'm not alone," She said with a devilish sneer. "I'm never alone when I have my gun with me, and if you don't get that wondering hand off my ass, you're going to meet it in less than a second."

He wasn't rattled, but took the hint. He raised his hands in a fake surrender. "Fair enough," He said, and turned and walked away. Emily was left to her misery. She waved her bottle at the bar tender, indicated she needed a second round, and returned her attention to the grain of the wood before her... anything to avoid the happy couple on the floor.

_She doesn't love you, oh it's plain to see_  
><em>I can read between the lines of what you're telling me<em>  
><em>And he doesn't hold you the way a woman should be held<em>  
><em>How long can I go on keeping these feelings to myself<em>

Who was Emily talking to? Suddenly, he didn't care he was dancing on the floor with someone else. He'd been trying to avoid looking to Emily, desperate to push away that longing inside how he wanted it to be her. To finally live out the recurring dream of dancing with her on the floor... although the song they'd been dancing to was much different than this... he couldn't think of it now, it certainly wasn't something he listened to regularly... but it was nice. It felt like Emily.

He spotted that man before Emily did. Reid saw him looking across the room and following his gaze, he discovered him looking right at the object of his affection. He wanted to rush over and put his arm around Emily, to show this man and anyone else staring at her with improper thouhts that this girl belonged to him. No one else. Now he had his arm around her... grinning at her, right in her face.

"Are you alright?" Marlee asked, trying to pull his attention back to her.

"Yeah," He grumbled, never looking away.

Reid felt white hot anger burning in his eyes as those grubby hands went along the curves of her backside. He was not a fighter or a bully of any sort, but right now Reid wanted to run over there and punch that guy so hard, he'd fly across the bar. No one was allowed to touch her like that... Emily was a lady, she deserved to be treated like one. And disgusting, unshaven men in bars who thought they were God's gift to women did not get to walk up to her and put their hands on his Emily.

Not that she had ever been his... or ever would be...

The man put his hands up and walked away. Emily must have told him off. She could certainly take care of herself... but still, Reid would have liked to have been the one to rescue her. He stared at her with a gnawing ache as he slowly moved on the floor, the song swirling around him.

_So what if I told you (What if I said)_  
><em>That I love you<em>  
><em>How would you feel, what would you think<em>  
><em>What would we do<em>

_Do we dare to cross that line_  
><em>Between your heart and mine<em>  
><em>Or would I lose a friend<em>  
><em>Or find a love that would never end<em>  
><em>What if I said<em>

Maybe it wasn't just a fantasy... at least it didn't have to be. As Hotch had said, some things were worth taking a chance. Making Emily his was definitely worth a chance... he could tell her the truth, that she'd always been more than a friend to him. He would love to stand there and watch her eyes fill with surprise and compassion and desire... and he could finally have everything he'd wanted all these years. But the alternative... oh, the alternative... was much too frightening. The one confession could wreck their entire team, alter their careers, and take his best friend from his life forever. Just the thought of losing her made him sick, he knew he wouldn't be able to bear it.

Emily had never felt so alone. Every night for the last six months had been agony, but now, here, with Reid just a few steps away dancing with another woman, a woman who seemed a much better fit for him... it was agony. What was she even doing still sitting here? Maybe she should leave... would Reid even notice if she left?

Her eyes looked up and immediately met Reid's... she gasped a bit, unknowing he'd been looking at her. She didn't look away; she couldn't. For a long minute that felt like hours, they lingered there, lost in the other's gaze... unaware they were both pining for the same thing.

_Oh, we've both had our share of loneliness_  
><em>So who's to say that we can't have a little happiness<em>  
><em>And if I found that in you<em>  
><em>It would make my dreams come true<em>  
><em>Or would you walk away<em>  
><em>Hear what I have to say<em>

_What if I told you (What if I said)_  
><em>That I love you<em>  
><em>How would you feel, what would you think<em>  
><em>What would we do<em>

The shock of meeting her beautiful, but sad brown eyes stunned him. She looked so hurt and sad and Reid couldn't understand why. She'd been pushing him away for months. She claimed they were best friends, but they barely had any kind of companionship anymore. He couldn't stand it, Reid had to look away. He hated this... he didn't want to be miserable for the rest of his life. He wanted to forget about Emily, he wanted to just fall for someone else and have her love him back... but maybe that wasn't supposed to happen for him. Maybe he was forced to long for the affection of some perfect, unattainable creature... it had happened all the time throughout history. And history repeats itself.

Well, he certainly wasn't going to get anywhere if he kept thinking of her as some immortal creature. Perhaps he needed to get farther away from her tonight. Taking Marlee for a walk might be nice. It was a nice, clear night. The air was crisp, just perfect for two young people to get close in the night. Gathering his strength, he quickly formed the words in his head. Reid met Marlee's eyes and opened his mouth to ask her... but was immediately taken by surprise as she reached up the distance between them, bringing him into a warm, passionate kiss.

She gasped as that little girl kissed him... Emily felt her heart squeeze so tight, at first she thought she was having a heart attack. She couldn't believe what she was seeing... her whole body was vibrating with anger, her hand gripping around the second beer bottle. This wasn't happening... this was just another bad nightmare... it had to be... couldn't he see how much he meant to her? How much she loved him? Didn't he care about her feelings at all?

_Do we dare to cross that line_  
><em>Between your heart and mine<em>  
><em>I've always wondered<em>  
><em>from the day that we met<em>  
><em>What if I said<em>  
><em>What if I said<em>

The kiss was satisfactory as well as typical. It was tender and firm and very sweet. There was passion and heat generating from it... but it wasn't anything special. He felt nothing in the rest of his body, he didn't have fight his instincts not to touch her. At the moment, his mind was completely clear... in fact, that kiss had brought his mind a claritiy that he had never known before. Kissing Marlee was nice... but the whole time, all he could think about was Emily.

They pulled apart slowly and Reid met Marlee's hopeful eyes. She gave him a smile. He hated to disappoint her like this... but it just wouldn't work.

"Marlee, listen..." He began.

He could already see her face begin to fall. As the last few chords of the song played, however, there was a crash just above the juke box. It stunned both Reid and Marlee for a moment, looking over in surprise. A bottle had been smashed against the wall, beer streamed and dripped down to the floor. It took a long moment for Reid to get a grasp on the situation, eyeing the mess as it puddled on the floor, his startled heart easing back to normal. Slowly, he turned back to the direction the bottle had come from, spotting the perpetrator.

It was only an instant, but it meant everything. Just as before, Reid locked eyes with Emily, only this time getting a look of pure loathing and betrayal. He was completely flabbergasted. Another song had already begun to play, filling the silence as the others watched with great interest. Even those who hadn't seen what happened stopped what they were doing, looking over to see the reason for the stunned quiet.

"Emily..." He said softly.

There was a lot of things she wanted to say, but Emily wasn't about to stick around. She had made her point, that was enough. With a satisfied glare, she snatched her things and hurried to the front door, the swish of her raven hair trailing a bit behind.

The other patrons were losing interest, going back to their evening. Reid was still staggered, trying to make sense of all this. He couldn't comprehend why Emily had done this, but he knew he wouldn't figure it out standing here.

Marlee was the last thing on his mind now. He stepped off the dance floor without a word. He spotted JJ standing with the detectives, a few darts ready in hand. He handed her a few bills with orders to pay for any damages. Without any explanation or pardon, he rushed out the door. A quick look up and down the street told him she was nowhere to be found. With grumble, he hurried down the street in the direction of the hotel, hoping that was indeed her intended destination.

* * *

><p>AN: The song is "What if I Said" by Anita Cochran and Steve Wariner.


	5. Hold Me

Emily knew she had made a mess of things. There would be repercussions in the morning, but she wouldn't think about that until the morning. She didn't like letting her anger take control, but seeing that girl - that pretty, no individuality little girl - put her hands on the love of her life, it just couldn't be stoppped. Had she been behind the wheel of a car, Emily would have plowed her down. Maybe she couldn't have Reid, maybe she had indeed lost her chance, but couldn't he at least pick a woman who was a little more worthy of him?

The hotel lobby was empty, even though it was just past 9 o'clock. Quickly, she walked through and pressed the button for the elevators, waiting impatiently. This was really her fault, she supposed. After all, she had let all this time pass. No, maybe she couldn't have told him right from the start, but six months had gone by, she had an ample amount of opportunities and never took one. All she did was push him away and avoided him... it was a miracle Reid still talked to her. He couldn't see the wonderful, loving woman right in front of him... but that was because she wouldn't let him. She hadn't even tried to get him to notice her, no wonder he was more interested in a pretty smiling face who spoke to him like he was a god.

The hum of the elevator kept her company as she rode up. It was a short journey to the third floor and all too soon, the chime announced her arrival. The hall was even quieter than the lobby. Emily pulled out her key card as she walked halfway down to her room. The lock was difficult to manage, taking Emily more than a handful of tries to get it to open. She could handle a credit card much more easily than this. The elevator chimed again as at last the green light flashed. She pushed open the handle and allowed herself in. Her legs felt like she was on autopilot. Stepping in, she tossed her coat and purse right on the floor and began to close the door... taking her by surprise, it sprang back aprubtly, bouncing of the wall with a slam.

Emily gasped as the silhouette stood in the doorway. From the light of the hallway, she could see it was Reid. His expression was so serious, so grave... almost dangerous.

"What the hell was that back there?" He demanded. His tone, though soft, was very forebodding.

She would not be frightened, though. "Get out of my room, Reid." She ordered, her eyes narrowed into slits.

"No, not until you talk to me." He replied. "Why the hell did you throw a bottle at me?"

"I wasn't throwing it at you." She answered. "She's lucky I'm a terrible pitcher."

It was true, and everyone in the BAU knew that. They had played with her on their softball team, competing against the teams made up of the fellow units of the FBI. Emily was a great hitter and could run like the wind... but she couldn't pitch for beans. In fact, the only person who was a worse pitcher stood right before her.

"What is the matter with you?" Reid wondered, appalled. "When I talked to you this morning, I thought you were trying to help me, but now I realize you just didn't want me to be with her. Do you hate me that much you don't want me to be happy?"

"I don't hate you, how could you think that?" She realized their yelling voices were being carried out into the corridor. The other patrons weren't a bother to her, but she hoped the rest of the team was still at the bar.

"What else am I supposed to think?" He wondered. "You say we're friends and yet... you treat me like dirt! Do you even care how much I miss you? I know, when I lost my memory, I must have done something to hurt you. I have been trying so hard to remember, but I can't... and I can't be sorry for it if you don't tell me!"

"You didn't do anything to me!" She cried. "I told you that, you did nothing wrong."

"Than why are you so upset?" He exclaimed. "What aren't you telling me?"

Emily felt like she was going to be sick. She looked away, trying to catch her breath. She did not want to have this conversation, but instead wanted to quickly apologize, push him back into the hall, and slam the door. That would be the end of it, at least for the time being... but he was much stronger than he looked. She'd never be able to shove him out, even if she took him by surprise... and anyway, it wasn't the smart decision. The opportunity to come clean had presented itself for sure this time. She couldn't run from this forever.

"You really want to know?" She asked. "Because once I tell you, I can't take it back."

"Knowing is always better than not knowing." Reid answered with determination.

She hoped he still felt that way in two minutes. "Get in here," She squeaked, stepping aside to let him pass.

Reid moved in and closed the door behind him. It didn't occur to either of them to turn on the light. Reid stood by the door, not wanting to tread too far into the room. Emily moved away from him. She faced the window for a long time, her arms folded over her chest. The only source of light came from the glow of the street lamp, all but illuminating the room.

He didn't rush her or voice his own thoughts. All he could do was wait in a cold fear.

"What I'm about to tell you..." She stammered in a breathy voice. She was fighting back tears, he could tell. Emily was not one who easily lost grip on her emotions. He could count on one hand the number of times he'd seen her cry. She turned around, at last meeting his eyes. Her gaze was scared and sorrowful. "I need you to know that I am your friend... and I never intended for this to happen. That I never did any of this to hurt you."

He felt a chill go down his spine, but Reid nodded. He kept his distance, keeping close to the door.

"No matter what happens or happened between us... you are first and foremost my friend. I never want to lose that." She informed. "Do you understand?"

He nodded again, barely visible in the darkness of the room. It was obvious how bothered he was by this, unsure what to expect.

"Say it," She demanded.

"I understand." He replied. The lack of light made this feel like she was in another dream... though she doubted this would turn out the same way.

With a deep breath, Emily closed her eyes. She couldn't even look at the profile of him anymore. "Lately..." Her voice staggered. "I have had... feelings for you... romantic feelings for you."

The room was void of all sound but for the rapid beating of her heart, thumping in his ears. Reid didn't answer right away... he must have heard her wrong. Maybe he was dreaming. Perhaps that bottle had hit him in the head and Reid had been knocked unconcious. This could be the result of a concussion.

"You have... feelings? Feelings for me?" He needed clarified.

She nodded, fighting to make her voice to work. "Yes," She answered. "Very real and very deep feelings." She wasn't so sure it was wise to reveal she was in love with him, though she knew it to be true.

"I... I had no idea." He answered. Honestly, he never would have guessed. "For how long?"

At first, he had hoped since the last year. Perhaps she remembered that drunken night after all. Or even if she didn't, it could have developed a desire in her she couldn't explain. Reid never would have expected what else she was about to confess.

"Well, that's... just it." She answered. Emily actually couldn't believe she was about to do this. She'd dreamt of this for half a year. The moment was finally upon her.

"What?" Reid pressed.

"When you had amnesia." Emily answered. "You... you and I... had a..." She let out a heavy sigh and forced the words out. "We had a relationship."

If this was a joke, Emily Prentiss had a sick sense of humor. "A... romantic relationship?"

"Yes," She moaned, hanging her head. That was it. She finally did it... and it didn't take a weight off her shoulders, it didn't fill her with a sense of relief... in fact, all it did was make her feel numb.

Emily moved to sit on the foot of the bed. She leaned forward covering her face with her hands. There, with the smell of the beer and her body lotion mixed on her skin, she waited for him to explode with rage, furious that she took advantage of him.

Instead, he was fighting off the logic responses in his head that this was all some delusion and it best he forced himself awake. "How!" He cried.

"I didn't mean for it to happen!" She exclaimed, standing up quickly. She rushed to him, standing right before her friend. Emily gripped Reid's hands, an effort to keep him close to her. "It started with a kiss... you kissed me and then I kissed you... and it just... spiraled from there. It was my turn to look after you and... that whole week... we got to know each other... and we... had a romance. I knew it wasn't smart, I knew it was selfish, but after you kissed me... I couldn't get you out of my mind."

She had no idea what was going on behind those beautiful hazel eyes of his. His pupils danced around like her were quickly reading over a page in a textbook. Reid, however, could barely see Emily, just piecing everything together... after all... they had seemed so real... too real to be just fantasies.

"What did we do?" He asked, at last meeting her soft brown eyes.

The last thing she wanted to do was go into detail. "We we went very slowly... we danced and we kissed... we kissed a lot..."

"Did we..." His heart was beating so hard, it felt like he had two. "Did we have sex?"

Emily took his shock for disgust, closing her eyes and turning away. "I'm sorry... it just happened... I knew I should have stopped it-"

"Answer my question!" He cried.

She folded her arms and nodded. "Yes... but it was only once and I didn't pressure you... I waited until you were ready."

"Oh, my God..." He exhaled, leaning against the door.

That was it. Emily just stood in the dark, waiting for the tears to take over. Either he would leave and never look at her again or his infamous anger would take over and he'd scream at Emily for violating him. She waited, wondering what his decision would be.

"I can't believe this..." He uttered. "That night was real?"

Emily's mind suddenly came to a screeching halt. Her fear and sadness was suddenly replaced by anger. In fact, she was more furious now than at the bar. Emily dropped her arms and turned back to face him, her eyes glowing with enragement.

"Excuse me?" She mumbled. "Do you remember that night?"

"I'm not sure," He said tentatively. "I remember some things... kissing in your car and... slow dancing... did we take a bubble bath together?"

"You son of a bitch!" Emily screamed, backing away from him. "How could you remember and not say anything!"

'I didn't... know I remembered!" He tried to explain. It was his turn to be the fearful one. "I thought I imagined all those things, especially us making love!"

"I don't believe this! You... rat!" She screamed again. "You suddenly have these thoughts and you assume they're just dreams... why, out of everything would you think they were just... dreams..."

Her voice trailed off as the epiphany struck her. She stared at Reid with interest as he avoided her eyes, his hand running nervously through his hair. "Unless..." She mumbled, taking a step closer. "Unless you've had other dreams about me."

It was the only logical explanation. Reid was a man of reasoning, he wouldn't just brush something aside as a fantasy if he didn't have others to back it up. "Reid," She said softly, moving into his space again. She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. Reid tensed under her touch, his body as solid as stone. "Do you have feelings for me, too?"

He cleared his throat, forcing out a strained, "Yes."

"Oh," She sighed in a light sob. It was impossible... how could she not know that? "For how long?"

He swallowed harshly, his throat tight and uncomfortable. "About five years." He hissed.

"Since we met?" Emily cried.

"It wasn't right when we met!" He corrected, meeting her gaze for a split second. He hung his head again, looking to his sneakers. "But... we didn't know each other very long... before..."

There was indeed a rat in this room, and that rat was Emily. She was angry with Reid because he couldn't see something wonderful right in front of him when for half a decade, this amazing, incredible man was falling for her and she'd never given him a second look.

Her hand came up to brush his cheek. He backed away from her a bit, but Emily wouldn't be denied. She wasn't going to be put off by his dislike for human contact. Invading his personal space, Emily's fingers ran into his hair, "Spencer," She whispered and could feel him flinch at the sound of his first name. "Please look at me."

He couldn't disobey her. Slowly raising his head, his eyes met hers in the darkness, her face just inches from his. He found a strength in there that gave him a real voice. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I tried," She assured. "But... when you came back and you didn't remember anything... I just assumed you didn't feel the same way. You're first day of work, I tried to tell you again, but... well, I was a coward. I had already lost my love, I couldn't lose my friend."

"But six months?" He asked.

"Five years." Emily retorted.

He gave her a skeptical expression. "You're telling me if I had told you the truth before I lost my memory, you would have responded like this?"

Reid had a point. "You're right, I am more at fault here... I wanted to tell you, but I just couldn't do it... and I'm sorry I pushed you away, I just... I couldn't be around you. It was too painful."

"Yeah..." He mumbled, "I can relate to that."

At that, Emily took the initiative and moved closer to him. Her arms went around his neck, her body right against his. Reid had never felt her so close, not outside of his own head. He fought his desires, not wanting to let himself lose control.

"Spencer..." She sighed, her fingers playing with the ends of his hair. "Hold me... please."

She had no idea how long he dreamed of hearing her say that. He so rarely let his guard down around her. There had been one time he held her the way he had always dreamed... outside the burning libertarian cult. This was a much different situation, for they weren't standing outside an exploded building and they hadn't just spent two days fighting for their lives while pretending they were complete strangers. They were alone, they were safe... Reid could be as free with her as he always wanted to be.

At long last, he allowed all his muscles to relax. His arms reached for her, wrapping around her lithe and gorgerous figure. She sighed as he brought her body against his, burying his face in her hair. Reid breathed in deeply, absorbing every bit of her esscence.

He lost track of time, just holding her, his hands caressing her curves. They were softer than he'd ever imagined. In a moment, he realized she was shaking. A light whimper came from her, muffled by the fabric of his sweater vest. Startled, Reid pulled away just enough to see her face. From the glow, streams of tears sparkled on her cheeks, her brown eyes meeting his hazel.

"What's wrong?" He asked, terrified.

Emily couldn't speak for a moment, her one hand coming to cup his cheek again. "You have no idea... how much I missed you."

It was very surreal, having shared a beautiful romance with her and couldn't remember it. They were like the memories of a dream; real but not real. On another level, however, he felt the same. Things had been so rocky between them for months and though this was new territory for him, he could see the Emily he knew had come back to him.

Reid was nervous, but having her this close, he could not resist. Slowly, Reid leaned forward to brush his lips on hers. She didn't pull away, as he often feared she would were he to try this. On the contrary, he saw her dreamy eyes slip close and her perfect Burgundy lips part every so slighty, anticipating his touch. Every bit of fear was gone and he brought her into a kiss... soft and timid at first, quickly progressing into something full of heated passion. Reid forgot everything right down to his own name, losing himself in the moment with Emily.

* * *

><p>"The first time I knew I liked you..." Reid said softly, "Was not the day we met... it was about a week later, on your first case. Do you remember?"<p>

Emily let out a contented sigh. She and Reid were in their stocking feet, laying above the covers on Emily's bed. After a round of amorous kissing, she and Reid retreated to the bed where they continued for a long time. It was an almost chaste evening, filled with hours of tender kisses and gentle touches. They didn't want to progress further too quickly, getting to know each other all over again. In the wee hours of the morning, they moved to lay in each others arms, talking peacefully. Emily rested her head on Reid's arm, his other hand resting against her hip.

"I do," She replied, her hand resting on the buttons of his dress shirt, his vest having been discarded around midnight.

"We were on our way to Guantanamo Bay," He revealed, "And we made the 90 degree turn which caused the chess board to be thrown aside."

She let out a giggle. "I remember."

"Do you remember what you said to me?" He asked. He pulled from her slightly, angling himself to see her face.

Emily thought for a moment. It was vague, but she remembered. "You had said you were winning... and I had said he would have had you in three."

He gave her a satisfied smile and nodded. "That's right... I was so stunned. When I met you, you didn't make much of an impression on me. You were attractive and smart and well spoken... but at the moment on the plane... I saw you in a completely different light. I saw you differently than any other woman I'd met before. It was on the way home when I went to take a nap... I watched you as you played chess with Gideon, the way you kept pushing that lock of hair behind your ear, like you do when you're nervous." To demonstrate his point, two long fingers reached over to perform the action on a stray piece of raven hair. As he finished, he trailed the tips along her jaw line. "I closed my eyes and had my first dream about you."

"Do tell," She exclaimed with a suspicious simper.

"It wasn't anything exciting, just talking alone on the plane,but it was nice... I didn't even realize how deep my feelings went for you. I was confused and could barely be around you at first." He explained. "I didn't make sense of it until a few months later."

Reid's expression faded signifcantly and Emily knew it wasn't a happy memory. His gaze turned from hers, cloudy and dark as he thought back to five years ago.

"What was it?" She asked softly, her had rested on his neck, trying to bring his gaze back to her... but he wouldn't budge.

All he said was, "Georgia."

She didn't need any other explanation than that to know what he was talking about, when he was held captive by Tobias Henkle. It had been a very trying experience for the young man and had taken ages for him to finally move passed it. Emily knew he still had nightmares about it. "Oh," Emily sighed, unsure what else to say.

"I was in a lot of pain... I'd spoken to Henkle's father and Raphael, but I hadn't spoken to Tobias yet." He explained. Reid was still unable to look at her. She wanted to tell him there was nothing to be ashamed about, but she didn't want to break his rhythm. It could make him lose his confidence. "When I finally did... that's when he gave me my first shot of Dilaudid."

Indeed, Reid had never spoken to the others much about his addiction. The only person who knew anything about it was Gideon. The man had taken Reid under his wing, helping him get clean. He kept the entire ordeal secret and the others knew better than to ask.

At that moment, Emily watched as the expression on Reid's face turned sweet and dreamy. His eyes fell closed and he rested his head on the pillow. "When I first got high... I slipped into the most beautiful fantasy about you. I was so disciplined before that, I never let myself have impure thoughts about you... until then. We were making love and it was so real. I could touch you and smell you... I had never felt so complete. When I came down, I was so depressed at losing you, and I just relived the worst moments of my life... all I wanted was to have that back again."

"And that's why you kept using?" Emily asked breathlessly.

"Emily," He urged, opening his eyes. At last he met hers again and his hand cradled the back of her head. "I don't mean to say this was your fault, it wasn't, not in the least... I was weak, I couldn't handle not being with you."

She was twisted with guilt at the moment. Reid practically destroyed himself because he was in love with her, not even attempting to tell her how he felt. Then again, as he had said before, if he had told her, she probably wouldn't have been interested. That reality could have sent him down a doomed path that he'd never return from... sometimes horrible things in life couldn't be stopped... that they were meant to happen.

"I was going to tell you." He revealed. "I was haunted by everything that happened to me that night... especially you. I had stolen the last few bottles from Tobias's pocket and had been carrying them around wherever I went. I wanted to take the drugs, but I knew there was a better alternative. I had to tell you how I felt, it was the only way... so I prepared myself and decided to wait for the right opportunity... until I saw you with Morgan that one morning."

Looking in her eyes, he could tell she couldn't remember. "You were telling him about a date... and you two started talking about Kurt Vonnegut."

"Oh, yeah..." Emily nodded with recognition. She gave a small smile. "I remember that."

"I saw you show him Slaughterhouse 5, the way you two looked at each other..." He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I knew I didn't stand a chance with you, that you would rather be with Morgan."

"I will admit," Emily replied, "I had a little bit of a crush on Morgan then... but it went away after awhile, it wasn't anything special. Morgan wouldn't have been good for anything but a quick one night stand."

"It just made me so angry," He admitted, laying back on his pillow again, his blazing eyes turned up to the ceiling. "It wasn't fair... he could he have any girl he wanted, why did he have to have you, too?" He paused, taking a deep breath. "I couldn't take it anymore... I started using. Every night... you belonged to me. And then I went to work and I saw the real you... and it burned me inside, I just wanted to go into a dark room and shoot up so I could pretend you were mine."

"I had no idea," She mumbled, tears in her eyes now. "That's why you hated me so much."

"That's why... that's why I yelled at you in Houston, that's why I kept lying to you..." Turning his head, he found her eyes in the darkness once again. "You know I don't think I ever apologized to you for that. I am so sorry..."

Her hand rested on his chest again, his heart beat speeding up at the feel of his touch, right beneath her fingertips. "Apology accepted." At that, she leaned over to give him a gentle kiss, which Reid accepted whole heartedly.

Reid rolled over again, moving closer to her. Emily nestled on her pillow, allowing Reid to rest his brow on hers. "I talked it out with Gideon when he helped me detox... He told me I could look all over and find a thousand things to fill that void inside me at not having you... but they would always be temporary. Millions of people in the world don't have the person they love and if I was strong enough... I could learn how to live without it." He said. "He told me that life wasn't easy, life was a struggle, that we didn't always get what we want... and some things - the things that were really worth living for - they didn't come to you overnight. If you really wanted them, you had to fight for them... not look for the easy way out."

"Pretty sound advice." She noted. "Seems to me it worked."

"Yeah, but I didn't believe it back then." He admitted. "I wanted you... but I eventually accepted the fact I would never have you... and having you as my friend... well, that was better than nothing. And it was better than a fantasy."

"I honestly never knew you had feelings for me." She said, "You hid it pretty well... I doubt the others know, they never said anything."

Reid was curious, "Did they know about us?"

"Well... Morgan knew." Emily answered. "But that was because he caught us kissing. I've convinced him that I don't have feelings for you anymore and as far he's concerned, we're never going to be anything again... and Rossi knew... but he's been very supportive. He's helped me through this, I really don't know how I would have gotten through these six months without him."

"Well, now that our feelings are out in the open, I don't suppose there's any way we can ignore them." Reid stated. "I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to, even if we could."

"The feeling is very mutual." Emily giggled. "I don't think we'll have much a problem keeping this secret... especially this time, since you're brain is working at full capacity, we both know the obligations we have."

Reid let out a grumble, once again turning away to lie back on his pillow. Emily sat up a bit, looking at him curiously. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's just..." He covered his eyes with his hands, shaking his head. "I can't believe this... I finally had the woman of my dreams and, but for a few flash images, I can't remember a bit of it!"

At that, Emily grinned. Taking him by surprise, she sat up and quickly moved to straddle his lap. Reid's eyes popped open in shock, bulging out of his head, staring at the sight before him.

"If that's the case," Emily said in a sultry tone, a seductive smirk upon her face, "perhaps there's something I can do..." Her arms crossed over her, her fingers gripping at the hem of her blouse. "to jar... your memory."

Instantly, she gracefully whisked the blouse over her head, tossing it in the direction of his sweater vest. Her hair whooshed around her, draping around her creamy shoulders. Emily gave one more grin, giving him a full sight of her torso and black bra, before leaning down to pull him into a long, beautiful kiss.

Reid moaned lightly into it. Now he was certain this had to be a dream. His hands rested on her hips, right at the hem of her pants. He couldn't hold back any longer. Moving up just a few inches, his finger tips touched the soft, supple curves of her body. Her fingers lost themselves in the tendrils of his chestnut brown hair, her nails lightly scraping on the scalp. He groaned softly at the feel.

At that, her lips pulled from his moving along his jawline to his ear. Her teeth nipped at the lobe and he gasped a bit. Forcing a coherent thought through his rapidly fading mind, Reid managed to cry out, "Emily... Emily, stop."

"What's the matter?" Emily asked as she sat up, her full figure stretched above him.

Reid took in the perfect sight. Her gorgeous body accentuated by the dark cotton. "Nothing," He whispered shaking his head. "This just isn't right."

"Don't you want to be with me?" She asked, cocking her eyebrow a bit at him. "I realize Rossi's on the other side of that wall, but he won't tell anyone. And we can be quiet."

"That's just it, I don't... I don't want it to be something quick that we have to keep hidden." Reid explained. At that, he sat up, his arms around around her lower back. He struggled to ignore how amazing it was to wiggle beneath her strong yet delicate body. "I have dreamt of this for so long," His hand came to rest on Emily's cheek, brushing back her hair again, "and I want it to be just right. I want to take you on a few dates, get to know you, court you a little bit. You're a lady, you deserved to be treated like one."

Emily wasn't so concerned about the first date... but no one had ever spoken so kindly to her before. She'd never been courted, men usually wanted things to move as fast as possible. Somewhere along the line, she had grown accustomed to it and had demanded for the same thing. To be treated like a lady... that was something every woman wanted, something every mother told their daughter to shoot for... Emily wanted to experience that first hand.

"So when are we going on our first date?" She asked, her arms going over his shoulders.

Reid had to only think for a split second. "Friday night. We'll both make excuses why we can't go out with the others... and I will take you on a perfect first date."

Emily couldn't have been more excited. After one more passionate kiss, she moved off his lap, grabbing her discarded shirt. As she pulled it on, she realized Reid was climbing off the bed as well.

"Where are you going?" She asked, concerned.

"I'd better get back to my room." He explained, somewhat disenchanted "I'd like to get a few hours sleep before we leave tomorrow... but I'll see you in the morning."

He looked at her in concern, unsure of his boundaries here. Emily turned to face him. "Can't you stay?" She asked, hopeful. "Please? I've missed you so much, can't you just sleep here with me?"

He was hoping she'd say that. "If you'll have me."

With a bright smile she rushed forward and pulled him into her arms again, delighted as he held her in return. Oh yes, she would have him... now and for the rest of their lives... however long or short that might be.


	6. You'll See

The team had to make one more stop to the precinct, wrapping up their unfinished business. Emily was in a better mood than she could remember in a long time, beginning right when she woke up that morning and found herself in Reid's arms. He himself was wide awake, smiling at her as he watched her sleep, proving instantly that last night had not just been another figment of her imagination.

Right now, however, they kept their distance. The last thing they needed was one of the team to catch them in a compromising circumstance, like last time. Right now, Emily was helping JJ pack up the last of the files into boxes. Reid was cleaning up the next room, clearing off the map he'd slaved over in his work. She kept stealing glances at him in there, taking in every move and gesture of his handsome body, the body she'd missed so much. She blushed a bit as her eyes landed on his backside... she'd always thought it was lean and firm, not bony as Morgan always teased.

If memory served, she was right, and had every intention of reaffirming her findings this Friday.

At that, another person moved into the area. As Emily turned to look, she gasped and quickly returned to the work at hand. There stood Marlee Lockhart, her expression was cold and stern, her eyes ready to shoot daggers at anyone who dared speak to her. She wasn't saying much, collecting all the notes she'd left behind.

Emily wanted to apologize, but wasn't sure how to start. Before she could form the words, however, Reid emerged from the next room, his eyes landing on the young girl.

He wouldn't let the others in the room to influence him right now, especially Emily. He knew she would be feeling remorse, but this was his responsibilty. He needed to make amends. He stepped carefully around the table, an attempt to avoid getting too close to Emily, meeting Marlee on the other side.

"Good morning," Reid said kindly.

"Morning," She said simply, pretending to be so engrossed in her notes. This man wasn't worth her time.

"How are you?" Reid wondered.

"Oh, you mean since you abandoned me on the dance floor and I had to beg one of the detectives for a ride home?" She asked, flipping through a few pages. "Just dandy, thanks. Hope you have a good flight-"

"Marlee, I'm sorry." He expressed, stepping closer to her. "Please, I'd like to explain what happened."

"There's nothing to explain, Dr. Reid." She cried as she looked up at last. "Obviously, I was just a ploy to make someone else jealous, I understand. Everyone does it, right?"

"No, that wasn't it at all." Reid assured, putting his hand on her shoulder. "Please, can we talk? Let me plead my case. I won't be able to go back to DC if I can't at least explain myself."

Marlee hesitated, but at last set her notes down. "Well, if it will send you on your way, by all means."

She indicated the room they'd spent so much time in over the last two days, and the two walked off alone.

Emily had to restrain herself from hurrying over to eavesdrop. Had JJ not been there, she wouldn't have been able to resist.

"Wow," JJ muttered softly. "I can't even imagine how that conversation is going to go."

"Yeah," Emily agreed, hoping her nerves weren't creeping up in her voice. "I don't envy Reid right now."

JJ looked up at Emily, the concern evident in her eyes. "Though, it probably wouldn't have happened if you hadn't thrown that bottle at him."

It hadn't even occured to Emily that the others had seen. She was so twisted and sickened with her own emotions, it didn't register anyone but the object of her affection would notice.

"Yeah," She at last mumbled, looking away in her shame.

"What happened?" JJ wondered. At the very least, JJ's question sounded only out of worry, and not of gossip or condescension. "You hurried out before anyone could talk to you. Were you alright?"

"Yeah, it's..." She shook her head, unable to admit the truth. "Nothing. Just a misunderstanding. Reid came to my room after I left and we worked everything out."

"Oh," JJ replied. "That's good... because if something were wrong... you wouldn't keep it a secret, would you?"

"No," Emily said at once.

JJ wasn't so sure about that. She, like everyone else on the team, had noticed the change in Emily in the last six months and worried for her safety and mental health. "If there was a problem, you'd say something right? Even if it's just to me or Garcia. We're you're friends, we're here for you. Even if you just need someone to listen."

"Oh, I know," And at that, Emily gave a true, bright smile. "You two are the best girlfriends a girl could have. And, while I can't admit there's nothing going on, everything is fine. There's nothing for you to worry about."

That, JJ believed. She reflected her friend's smile. "Okay. I don't mean to seem nosy, I'm just trying to look out for you."

She gave her a brush on her arm. "I appreciate it, thanks for having my back."

At that, Emily decided she could use a cup of coffee. Grabbing her mug, she stepped away, unable to resist taking a glimpse in the conference room.

Marlee had pulled Reid into a warm hug, which he returned just as friendly. Yesterday, that would have boiled her with rage, but now she was able to see him with a clear head. Five years and she never realized every tense muscle and flinch from her touch had a message to it. That it was him protecting himself, never letting his guard down around her for fear she or the others would learn the truth. It was so obvious now... how could she have not seen it before?

With that thought, Emily smiled. Amazing what a person could see... when she was really looking.

* * *

><p>Reid didn't even bother closing the door. He jumped right in before she could say a word. "I want to apologize."<p>

"You did already." She grumbled, folding her arms as she stood beside the table. "Unless you've got something else to say, I don't need to hear your pleas for forgiveness."

"I know I'm not worthy of that." He said. "You have every right to hold a grudge, but you at least deserve an explanation. I shouldn't have walked off like that, that was selfish and cruel. I was only thinking about my self... but something happened last night... I had an epiphany."

"Yeah, right when Agent Prentiss smashed that bottle on the wall." She snarled.

"No," Reid corrected. "It was when you kissed me."

He took a step closer, a gesture to show her she was the most important person to him right then. He needed her to know the truth, that this was not a result of her as a person. "It was a nice kiss... enough to make any man weak in the knees... except me. From the moment your lips met mine... I realized you were not the woman I wanted."

"You're quite the charmer, aren't you?" She said, looking away from him. She felt lower than dirt, unsure how to respond exactly.

Reid continued as if she hadn't heard. "There was only one woman in my mind when you kissed me. Last night, I confronted her... I never expected she'd feel the same way, but unbeknownst to me... she does. It was quite a shock. I'm sorry, I never intended to lead you on or use you, it was completely unintentional. I just knew I could never feel for you or anyone the way I feel for her... please understand."

Marlee paused a moment, contemplating his speech, but at last cleared her throat. His words had touched her. "Well... I can't say I'm happy about it... but I know this couldn't have been easy for you to admit. And I appreciate you telling the truth instead of feeding me some cliched line."

"I am sorry. I want you to know, I think you're a very nice girl and an ambitious student. I've enjoyed spending time with you over the last two days."

"Same here," She admitted. "I did learn a lot from you.'

"If you need any help with school or need some advice in your job, I'd be happy to help you." He added. "It's the least I could do."

At that, Marlee smiled. "I'll definitely take you up on that... thank you, Spencer."

Before he could object, she reached out to give him a hug. Reid returned it without question. It was nice and friendly, but nothing like to holding Emily. It was crazy to think he could have ever let her go; no one else would ever make him feel this way. And now, knowing he could have her... he knew he'd never want anyone else. As long as he could help it, he was going to keep her and would give his life to make it so.

Marlee pulled away and gave him a smile, turning to leave. The doorway into the conference room was clear. Just before she reached the door, she turned back around. Reid stood curiously, waiting.

"I hope it's Agent Prentiss, the girl you want," She said with a smirk. "Because if it's not... she's going to be throwing a lot more beers at you."

He couldn't help it. Reid let out a chuckle as Marlee at last walked out, leaving Spencer Reid behind forever.

* * *

><p>Over the next few days, Reid and Emily barely got two minutes together. Even though they were home, it seemed everything was working against them. For instance, Emily's outburst in the bar had not gone unnoticed. When the story to Hotch, he couldn't let it go without pulling her into his office for a light reprimand. She was a reflection of the FBI and her actions needed to show that. Since Reid paid for the minimal damages, there wasn't much for them to worry about, but were she to step out of line again, he'd have no other choice but to discipline her, whatever the punishment called for.<p>

It was almost amusing how at that moment, she was planning to break one of the biggest taboos of this government establishment.

At first, she considered telling Rossi that everything had worked out, but decided to keep it quiet from even him. For now, anyway. Perhaps after the first few dates, or when things became increasingly serious, she'd tell him. She needed proof that her biggest worry was nothing more than paranoia. The fear that when they began to get close again, she'd know her feelings for him was real, and not just a desperate desire to cling to what they had, just as Morgan had predicted.

Reid, however, was incredibly busy. The next two nights, Emily questioned what he was up to, wanting to watch a movie with him or just talk, to spend some time with him again. He refused, telling her he had some errands to run. When she questioned him about, he answered with a smile and a very vague, "You'll see."

Those two nights which went by much too slowly for Emily's liking. Friday itself finally arrived and each hour seemed to crawl, like time knew how badly Emily was looking forward to this and wanted to torture her. She was only able to think what could be happening tonight. Reid gave no indication they had plans for the evening, not even looking at her. Not once the entire day. She would often look up to catch him admiring her, giving her a clandestine smile and turning away before the others saw. Not today, though. His paperwork was much too interesting to let him be distracted by her. It irked her greatly.

Just as he planned.

At twenty to five that afternoon, the others started filing out of their office. "TGIF!" Garcia cried as she and JJ entered the bull pen. "Please tell me you two are about to call it a night."

"Definitely," Emily said, setting her pen down. There was still a few files left, but nothing that couldn't wait until Monday. She was an expert at finishing things right before the deadline. A skill she'd aquired from all the years of finishing her homework in homeroom.

"Anybody up for a drink?" Morgan wondered as he, too, joined the group, looking to the girls and Reid for confirmation. "First round's on me."

"I think I could stay for a round or two." JJ said.

"Count me in!" Garcia agreed. "I would never pass up an evening with such a sexy thing.

"As if you could resist." He teased with a smile, giving her a wink. "I'll check with Hotch and Rossi, any other takers?"

Normally, Emily would be right on board, usually able to get more than a round on Morgan's tab. But she hesitated, secretly waiting for Reid's response. Had he forgotten? Did he want to go out with the others so they wouldn't suspect? She couldn't be sure without confirmation.

He closed the last file on his desk, signed and finished, and set it in his Out Box with the others. "I'll take a raincheck." He answered. "I've got a full evening planned."

"Really? And may I ask with who, my lovely?" Garcia wondered, eyeing him with interest.

"Oh, there's a lecture on Darwinism Philosophy at the community center tonight. I've been looking forward to it for months." Reid announced with such enthusiasm, he was like a kid at an amusement park. "Anyone want to join me? I'd love to have some company."

The others quickly looked around for an excuse, not wanting to directly turn him down and hurt his feelings. "Maybe next time, Spence." JJ said with a kind smile.

"Damn, if only you told us ahead of time." Morgan muttered.

"Well, if you're sure." He said, swinging his bag over his shoulder. As the strap settled across his chest, his intense hazel eyes snapped up to meet Emily's. "I'll tell you guys all about it on Monday."

She understood at once, hiding her joy behind a solid poker face. There was no lecture, it was all an alibi... hopefully. They had a lot in common, but a lecture didn't sound very romantic. She didn't even know what Darwinism Philosophy was.

"What about you, Em?" Garcia questioned.

"Uh, no thanks." Emily said, quickly standing up. "I've... um... I..."

Her mind searched for an excuse, but nothing legitmate was coming to mind. Why hadn't Reid warned her; she would have come up with something. Or spent the whole day faking a growing illness. Anything remotely appealing just made her sound like some pathetic single woman. Taking in Sergio for her friend already made her feel like she'd taken a step closer to becaming the crazy cat lady.

They waited for her response. All she could do was tell them the truth. "I've got a date."

Reid was adjusting a few books in his bag for an easier journey when he stopped. Everyone looked at her in surprise. They couldn't remember the last time their fellow agent had a date. Emily didn't like to talk about her personal life.

"Oh my gosh," JJ exclaimed.

"Why didn't you tell us, Sweetie?" Garcia exclaimed with a grin.

"Oh," Emily shook her head. "It's... not that big a deal."

"Who's the lucky man, Prentiss?" Morgan wondered, just as intrigued as the girls.

The sockets kept her eyeballs in a death grip to keep from looking at the sexy genius right across from her. Her tongue formed the name before she could consider the consequences. "Mick Rawson."

A loud thud made her jump. She looked up to see Reid had dropped a book on his desk, stunned by her confession. He looked to her with curiosity. That was most certainly out of the blue. He wasn't the only one either. The others were just as surprised.

"Well..." JJ said, glancing at Garcia with a growing grin. "It took awhile, but I'm glad you finally took our advice."

"Yeah, me... me, too." Emily mumbled, nervously pushing her hair behind her ear. She couldn't look at anyone right now, especially Reid. "Uh, I'd better go... I think he's picking me up at seven."

"Have fun," Morgan cried as she rushed out the glass doors.

Reid watched her retreating back for a moment. He knew it wasn't true, but the statement rattled him. Mick Rawson... that egotistical Brit who thought he was God's gift to women. He remembered vividly that cretin flirting with her, drooling over her with such obvious dominating lust. No surprise he would find her attractive, Emily was beautiful. It just made him sick to think of him putting a hand on his Emily.

Suddenly, Reid's mind came to a screeching halt. His Emily. _His_ Emily... she was his now, wasn't she? He could finally admit that. Maybe just to himself... but it was true.

"Have a good weekend, guys," Reid said with a smile, even brighter than a moment ago. He snatched the book off his desk and headed out of the unit.

Emily was still waiting at the elevator when he approached. They stood in silence until the doors opened and they stepped inside, shut out from the rest of the world.

"Mick Rawson?" Reid exclaimed, turning to her at last.

"I know, I'm sorry, I couldn't think of another name!" Emily cried, looking to him with a guilty smile. "Believe me, I would have loved to tell them and the rest of the world the guy I'm lucky enough to be spending a sensual evening with."

Reid gave a blush, but leaned down to kiss her cheek. His lips lightly trailed on her skin, traveling to her ear. The touch made her whole body shudder, dying to rip his clothes off and at last make love to him once again.

"I have everything planned for tonight." He whispered. "I'll pick you up at seven, just as you said."

He looked up, meeting her with sparkling eyes, his hand brushing over her cheek, tracing her jawline once again with his fingertips. They were filled with such adoration and desire... things she'd seen before, but never with that familiar light in his eyes. Her legs suddenly felt like pudding.

How could she ever believe she wouldn't feel the same way... if anything, she was falling even deeper in love than before.

"Will you please tell me what we're doing?" She exclaimed with eagerness.

He looked away with a secretive smile, once again answering with a simple, "You'll see."

* * *

><p>AN: I'm sorry posting been's a little slow. Along with the holiday, I'm in the process of moving, so I've been spending most of my free time packing. I appreciate you guys hanging in there, it means a lot to me. Lots of exciting stuff coming up, and things are about to heat up between our two favorite profilers, so stay tuned. And please review, it means so much to me! :)


	7. The First Date

Just dress comfortable. That was Reid's response when Emily asked where they were going. Well, that ruled out any of the pricier and fancier areas in DC. Were it another person, she might be able to guess. Reid however was a bit unpredictable, and five years and an extensive knowledge of profiling was not enough to form even an educated guess.

It was almost seven. Emily had spent the last two hours getting ready. She pulled out all the stops to make herself alluring. After a hot bath enfused with her signature scent where she made her legs smooth and silky, she fixed her hair in waves and added a light layer of makeup. Lastly, she chose an outfit. At first, she thought of her favorite red dress. She'd worn it on so many dates and it never failed to make her man's jaw fall to the floor.

But, as she held it in her hands, it hung loosely on the hanger. As she looked at it, it didn't give her the same confidence and appeal. It just wasn't right for tonight. For one thing, it was very uncomfortable... and this date was much different than with anyone before. Because the way she felt for Reid was much different than any other man to come into her life. She needed an outfit that didn't have track record, one especially for him.

She stared at herself in her full length mirror. Any more comfortable, she'd be in pajamas. Emily wore a pair of darkwash jeans. She didn't wear them often, so they were a bit stiff, but they had the worn look to them. They fit snugly against her curves, moving with her like a second skin. It was warm out tonight, so she settled on her red tank top. If memory served, she remembered Reid stealing a few glances at her on the occasions she wore this to work. It hadn't meant anything to her then. After all, he was still a man. Now it seemed so obvious. If he'd been holding himself back then, she could only imagine what was going through his head. He would approve of this.

Right at seven, she heard the knock on her front door. Emily had informed her doorman she was expecting a date and send him right up. Giving herself on more once over, she hurried down to answer the door.

Just to be safe, she checked through the peephole. Sure enough, Reid stood there in wait and she grinned at how nervous he looked. It was hard to tell through the distorted glass, but it looked like he was holding something. She nervously smoothed the wrinkles out of her jeans, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

"Hi," She said brightly, a wide smile on her face.

Reid didn't say anything. He'd been imagining this for much longer than the last few days. He thought of where he would take her, what they would talk about and, especially, what she would look like. He could still hardly believe this was actually happening, and looking at her as she opened the door still made him think this was only a dream.

Emily looked better than he'd ever pictured. She wore the red tank top, the one that drove him wild every time she wore it. It was always a struggle to keep himself from staring at her, but when she wore that, he practically had to force himself to stare at whatever book was in his hands. Her tight jeans were like magnents, attracting his hands to touch and caress her gorgeous legs. She was so beautiful, beyond anything he had ever pictured in his genius mind. It was hard to believe that smile was for him.

"Reid?" She pressed, suddenly nervous. "Are you okay?"

"Uh..." He shook his head to get his bearings back. "Yes... I'm... I'm fine, I just... can't believe how amazing you look."

"Is this okay?" She wondered.

"It's perfect." He informed, at that, he lifted the bundle he'd been clasping in his hands. "These are for you."

Emily finally looked to see what he offered. She gasped and grinned at the bouquet of lilies. "Oh, Reid..." She exclaimed as she took the flowers. "They're beautiful..."

"I'm glad you like them." He said shyly. "I know you like the purple stargazers best, but they only had the pink and white, so I had them bundle both."

At that, she looked up in amazement. "How did know purple stargazer lilies are my favorite?"

Reid was suddenly a bit ashamed. He gave a shrug with a guilty expression. "I know you, Emily... you've told me things over the years and I remember. Not just because I have an eidetic memory... but because it's you."

So touched, Emily quickly rushed forward, reaching with her free hand to pull him closer. She slipped a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you, Spencer." She whispered.

His cheeks were red as she pulled away, but he was smiling. "I should put these in some water. Would you like to come in?"

He could only manage a nod and followed her inside. Emily stepped into her kitchen, quickly fetching a glass vase from under the sink.

"You know, I don't think I've ever been in your home before." He informed, looking around.

"Yes, you have." She replied, filling the vase up with some tepid water. "You just don't remember."

"True," Reid agreed, stepping into the living room. He stared out the huge bay window, watching the display below. It seemed like a comfortable place to live, but it felt very cold and off putting. It didn't suit Emily, who was such a warm and caring person. It was a sign she didn't spend much time here, nor have many friends over.

He looked back at Emily as she adjusted the flowers on the kitchen counter. Reid wondered just how much time this woman spent alone, suspecting she was just as lonely as he.

"There," She said, turning to him. "What do you think?"

"Abosuletly beautiful." He said, looking right at her. "And the flowers are pretty, too."

He felt his stomach do a back flip at the sound of her laughter. "Shall we?" She said through her giggles.

"You shouldn't need a jacket, it's very warm out." He said as she grabbed her purse and headed to the door.

"Are you sure this outfit is okay for the evening?" She asked.

"It's perfect," Reid replied. "You look amazing."

"So no one will think I'm underdressed?" She wondered as she opened the door.

Reid held it for her as she stepped into the hall. "No, no, where we're going, there's not a strict dress code. Although, I am glad you're wearing pants, you wouldn't be very comfortable in a dress."

That was curious, but Emily knew better than to press him. She locked her door securely and the two headed down the hall.

* * *

><p>Reid drove. Emily watched him with interest in the passenger seat. His outfit hadn't wavered from the usual, although it was different from earlier today. He smelled absolutely delicious and she couldn't wait to get him alone. Until she kissed him in Ohio, Emily hadn't realized how much she missed him. It was like a part of her had been in hibernation. No wonder she felt like she'd been on autopilot most of the time. Her life had been disturbed six months ago and there was no hope of ever going back.<p>

The only part that scared her was that Emily hoped she wouldn't have to.

They talked a bit on the way there. Emily was curious how Reid was adjusting now that he was on his own again. He still couldn't remember much from his two months, or Fugue State, as he specified. As he had admitted, there were several moments with Emily he could recall. He also had a few flashes of staying with Morgan and Garcia, but there was nothing before their return to Quantico.

"Where are we going?" Emily asked again. They were in the more tourist like spots of the city, areas they both normally avoided since they'd lived here for so long and didn't have much business here.

"You'll see," He said again. Emily was getting tired of that answer, and he knew. He gave her grin as he glanced at her. "We're almost there."

Emily pursed her a lips a bit and rolled her eyes. The anticipation was killing her.

At last, Reid parked the car. He ordered her to stay put a moment as he got out. Emily was curious as to why until she saw him hurry over to the other side. He opened the door for her, offering his hand to help her step out.

"Reid," She said with delight. "I don't know where you learned your manners, but you're more of a gentleman than any man I've ever dated."

"I've seen some of the men you've gone out with." He mentioned as he closed the door. "That's not a very big step to accomplish."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Emily asked, a little disturbed by his comment."

"Don't be offended." He said kindly. "I just mean the men you've gone out with before never seemed to care for you very much. You deserve better than that."

She gave a suggestive smile. "Someone like you?"

"You deserve better than even I can give you." He answered, a little disheartned. "But I'm going to try my best... to be worthy of you."

Emily wanted to pull him into her arms, assure him that he was worthy of her. If she had, though, she wasn't so sure he'd believe her. Perhaps in time, she'd be able to show him.

His sadness faded and they both realized their hands were still clasped. "Shall we?" He asked, and began to lead her away from the car.

"Where are we?" She wondered. The sun was beginning to go down now and there was only a handful of people around. In a moment, Emily recognized the location. The reflecting pool, right in front of the Lincoln Memorial.

This couldn't be where they were having their date. There wasn't anything here, except maybe a few vendors, but they would be packed up by now.

"Okay," Reid said, leading her to the ledge beside the water. "Wait here."

Emily obeyed his command and sat down. He gave her a confident smile before hurrying away, heading in the direction of the car. She sat alone, observing the scene. Another couple was a hundred feet away sitting beside the water. They were wrapped in arms, lost in each others' eyes. Neither of them could be more than eighteen. She could appreciate exactly how they were feeling. This whole new world was before them, filled with possibilities... she might not be that young anymore, but she was experiencing the exact same thing.

This really was a beautiful place she noticed as she was looking around, trying to keep patient. The area was almost deserted. A few tourists were littered here and there. The glowing sunset was sparkling off the reflecting pool, like liquid gold was swarming through the water. It was an elegant setting... perhaps she wasn't thinking so clearly at first. This did seem like a wonderful place for a date... but then, where had Reid wondered off to?

The answer to that question arrived just a few moments later. "Surprise!" Reid announced, pulling her attention away from the water. Emily turned suddenly to see him holding a picnic basket in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other.

She stared at him in wonderment for a moment. "Where did you get that?"

"The trunk of my car." He informed setting the basket on the ground as he sat beside her, leaving a space between them. Opening the lid, the first thing he removed was a cream colored blanket, which he laid neatly between them. "I thought it would be nice to have a picnic."

She watched in amazement as he pulled out the contents. Several containers along with cloth napkins, cutlery and two wine glasses. With each item removed, she became more and more impressed.

"I went to that Italian restaurant with the chicken alfredo you like so much." He said, setting a tin foil bundle before her. "Also some crab cakes, lobster ragoons, and that chocolate and caramel cheesecake you always rave about."

"Oh my God," She said, looking over the different courses. "Reid... you had to have gone to four different places to get all this food." Emily looked up and spotted the bottle. Snatching it, she read the label. "Correction, five."

"Four," Reid said, taking the bottle back. "I already had the wine."

"Still," She said, stunned. "I can't believe you went to all this trouble."

He looked to her with apprehension, swallowing hard a moment. "I wanted to make our first date special... at least if you hated this, you'd enjoy the food."

"Oh, Spencer..." She exclaimed, reaching over to take his free hand. She met his eyes with a glow of such adoration. "I love this... it's absolutely wonderful."

His cheeks turned red as she smiled. "Have I mentioned how much I love to here you say my name?"

Emily smirked, with a raise of her eyebrows. "Well, then, I'll make a point to say it more often."

With that, she reached over to meet him in a gentle kiss. It was soft and innocent, yet still sent a warm shiver down her spine. After a moment, their lips parted and Reid slowly opened his eyes. "Well..." He exhaled. "That's the best kiss I've ever had with a fellow team member."

"How many team members have you kissed?" She asked with a playful glare.

"None," He exclaimed, starting to work on the cork of the wine. He let out an exaggerated sigh. "Alright Morgan once, but he came onto me."

Emily couldn't help but explode with laughter. Reid stopped his work with the bottle to watch her as she sputtered and chuckled at his unexpected comment. She was so unrestrained when she really and truly laughed like this. Wild and carefree... it made her so much more gorgeous. Even if things went terribly tonight, Reid knew he could go to his grave knowing he'd been on one date with the most amazing woman in the world.

Before she noticed he was staring, Reid went back to work, finally getting the cork out. He poured a glass for Emily first, then one for himself. She took her glass as Reid raised his.

"May I say something?" He asked.

"Absolutely," She said with delight.

His confidence was quickly plummenting, but he made himself continue. There was so much he'd always wanted to say to her. He'd finally managed to tell her how he felt about her, but it had been very passive experience. She had instigated everything... now it was his turn. His chance to tell her just what she meant to him, and he was not about to let another moment pass him by.

"Emily," He said slowly. "I just want you to know..." He forced himself forward, hoping she'd respond positively to his words, "how happy I am to be here. You're the best person I know. You're smart, you're beautiful, you have such a good heart and you're so easy to talk to..."

"Keep going," She said, practically breathless.

"Oh... I could go on forever." He replied. Clearing his throat, he continued. "I am truly the luckiest man to be here with you right now... and I don't know what's going to happen to us, but I want nothing more than the chance to find out. I don't want to rush this, to force anything more than what it is... but I think this could be something truly amazing. I don't have much experience with women or relationships, but... I want you to know, every part of me is in this, fully. For five years I've wanted you and I'm not going to let anything in my control ruin that."

Speechless, Emily was silent for almost a minute. Her body was shaking a bit, and she doubted it was from the sudden chill wafting in the summer air. Clearing her throat, she lifted her glass higher. "I'll second that."

It was sealed with the clink of the glasses... and their lives had officially changed forever.

* * *

><p>The rest of the evening was bliss. The beautiful sunset was cut short by the rolling in of storm clouds, casting the sky into overcast. Reid and Emily shared a wonderful dinner, talking and laughing without a care in the world. They should have been concerned this little rendevous would be spotted and somehow get back to the FBI, but neither of them could care right now. Tonight was just about them, there was plenty of time tomorrow for worry.<p>

Halfway through her cheesecake, Emily laughed hysterically again over a joke Reid had said. "How come I never knew you were so funny?" She wondered, taking another piece on her fork.

Reid shrugged. "I don't know... I guess it's never appropriate to act like this around the team."

"Why not?" Emily mentioned. "I mean, don't get me wrong, Spencer, we love you, it's just... a lot of the time you come off... a little..."

He waited for her to finish. "A little what?"

"Stuck up." She admitted. "Like you look down on us because we're not as smart as you... and that makes us inferior."

"I don't mean to." He answered. "It's easier just to be a brain, I guess. I don't like to be myself around you guys... I mean, you've seen the way Morgan teases me. And the others always treat me like I need to be coddled and protected... it's just easier to keep a lot of things to myself. I don't like to be ridiculed."

"You know I'd never do that to you." She corrected. "I tease you a little, but you know it's not because I think you're a baby."

"I know..." He nodded. "But you were the biggest threat... I couldn't risk you learning how I felt about you... everyone else would make fun of me, I know Hotch would give me a lecture on being professional, and you... well, I couldn't risk losing my friend."

"Yeah," Emily nodded. "I can appreciate that."

Reid looked up from his dessert and gave her a half smile. She reached over to brush his cheek, a soft tendril of hair falling between her fingers. Emily couldn't resist, taking her hand to run up into his hair. She watched with fevor as his eyes slipped closed, savoring the feel of her touch. Maybe they didn't know where this was going, but it was going to be an incredible journey.

They finished dessert just after ten and gathered up their picnic. It wouldn't be long before a cop would come over, confiscating their wine. They could avoid any charges with a flash of their badge, but they were trying to stay on the downlow. Hand in hand, the happy couple carried their bundle and made their way to the car, a few drops of rain meeting them along the way.

The fall officially hit just as Reid opened the trunk of his car. Emily cried in surprise, the rain already soaking through her hair and clothes.

"Here," Reid said, quickly removing his outer sweater. He slung it over her head, keeping most of the rain off her. "This should protect you until you get in the car."

Emily was amazed for possibly the tenth time that night at his gesture. She looked up at him, once again realizing how tall he was. And handsome. The rain was sopping down his face, locks of his chestnut hair sticking to his temples. Emily couldn't have stopped herself if she were bound in chains. She threw herself up and caught his lips, her hands gripping his shirt to keep him as close as possible. Reid lost the sweater, letting it fall to the asphalt. Lost in the falling rain, the two kissed so hard, so powerfully, it matched the rock of thunder that echoed through the sky.

As their lips parted slowly, Emily clung to him, trying to catch her breath. With the rain and the cold, she felt like she was drowning.

"I think you're plenty worthy of me, Spencer Reid." She informed, opening her eyes and meeting his, the hazel swirling with lust and eagerness. He was stunned for a moment, but gave her a dazy smile. They met in another kiss, even more amorous than the last, not even caring they were getting drenched in the rain of the almighty thunderstorm.

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry this took so long guys, it's been stressful moving and trying to get settled.


	8. Clues

Emily could never remember feeling in such high spirits on a Monday morning. Two coffees were clutched in her hands as she stepped off the elevator, an extra spring in her step. Not to mention, she went the extra mile to make herself look attractive this morning. For someone who needed to keep casual, she certainly wasn't making much of an effort to hide anything.

A junior agent held the door open for her as she reached the glass doors. She said a quick thank you and headed for the bull pen, but Reid wasn't in sight. A quick scan showed him in the kitchenette with his back to her, no doubt preparing to tackle the files he abandoned  
>on Friday. Those butterflies sprang to life again at the sight of him. It was surreal that this time last week, this same sight would have filled her with loneliness and pining.<p>

"Good morning, Dr. Reid," Emily cried as she approached him, grabbing his attention. "Can I interest you in some coffee?"

Reid turned around instantly, surprised at the unexpected gesture. He looked to her with glowing eyes. "Thank you, this is a nice surprise."

"Well," She said, he voice low and sultry, "I thought you might like something hot and sweet and steamy this morning." She grinned, biting her lip tantalizingly. "And the coffee's pretty good, too."

It was hard to deny how badly Reid wanted to kiss her, what with her looking at him like that. He could never remember her looking at him like that before, or anyone for that matter, and yet it felt so familiar. Like a starving lady lion and he was the weakest member of the herd. He did walk with a slight limp, after all.

He took the accepted coffee, taking a careful sip. "It's just the way I like it, thank you." He said with a bit of a bashful smile. "So I take it you enjoyed our date?"

"Oh, I loved it!" She exclaimed, trying not to get too excited. "The only thing that could have made it better... is if you had stayed with me."

She hadn't realized how sad she suddenly became, so sorrowful, it made Reid ache and he wanted to wrap his arms around her. Twice, already, he denied her advances and each time, she looked to him so rejected, afraid perhaps that he wasn't attracted to her.

"It was our first date," Reid insisted. "It didn't seem right to sleep together after just one date."

"Spencer," Emily insisted, lowering her voice. They were risking enough discussing this right in the unit. If someone even overheard her utter his first name, it would rise suspicion and rumors that would spread like wildfire.

But despite the risk, she took a step forward and brushed his arm. "I know you're just trying to be a gentleman... but you don't have to be afraid. I understand if you don't have much experience or... a little shy."

"I'm not shy," Reid said effortlessly, leaning close to her, her voice barely above a whisper. "And, contrary to popular belief, I do have plenty of experience... that has nothing to do with why I'm doing this. Don't you think I want to be with you? Don't you think I want to lay you onto a bed and show you the more positive aspects of having an eidetic memory?"

At that, Emily couldn't help but smile. Reid matched it, carefully reaching up to trace the line of her jaw with her fingers, sending a shiver through her. God, she hoped no one was watching, but she didn't want to tell him to stop. "I just want to take it slow," He said. "It'll be so much better... trust me."

That's exactly what she kept telling him; when he was mindless and lost and could hardly tell the difference between right and left. He put his faith in her when he had no reason to. She could definitely do the same for him. His other hand rested on her forearm and she moved to take it with hers. "I trust you."

They couldn't stay like this much longer without arising suspicion. A second more and their hands reluctantly let go. Clutching their coffees, the two headed to the bull pen.

"So," Emily said, suddenly aware of anyone in the unit who could overhear. Luckily, there didn't seem to be too many people around. "Any ideas for our second date?"

"I was thinking we could go to the Heritage Festival this Saturday evening." Reid suggested as they reached their desks. "We were supposed to go last year, but then my mom got sick and I had to fly to Vegas to be with her. Remember?"

"Yeah," she nodded. It didn't seem so long ago, but it was only a year. A few months after that, they were off to Charlottesville and then... everything seemed to spin out of control. "That sounds like fun; I think you'll enjoy it."

"I know I will," He smiled, looking up to her. The hazel of his eyes sparkled in a way she hadn't seen in so long. "I'll be with you."

"Hey, kids," Morgan said as he came into the unit. He spotted the go cup in Reid's hand, a similar one in Emily's. "I hope you guys brought enough for everyone."

"And what do you do for us, Morgan?" Emily asked as she sat down. "Besides teasing our resident genius and skipping out on the bill when we go for drinks."

"How about I cover your ass in the field, Prentiss." He replied, grabbing her cup to take a sip. "So how did the date go last Friday?"

"Wonderful," Reid answered without thinking.

Both turned to Reid in surprise. Emily was nothing short of panicked, forcing her fear in the pit of her stomach.

"How do you know that, Reid?" He asked.

A moment's hesitation which he covered by taking a sip of his drink. "It's obvious, Morgan. She brought me coffee, there's a huge smile on her face. What other reason can you explain for Emily being so happy and generous on a Monday morning?"

"Is the kid right?" He wondered, turning to her.

"Dead on," Emily replied. "The date was... even better than I expected."

"Great, I'm happy for you Prentiss," He said with a delighted smile, and Emily knew he assumed this newfound romance with Rawson was a result of their conversation. 'You deserve some real happiness."

"Thanks," Emily muttered, leaning back in her chair. A glance over the divider, she could see Reid suddenly forcing himself to finish his paperwork, avoiding Emily's eyes. Was it an effort to hide the truth of the situation... or was he jealous that another man got credit for her joy.

She didn't have the chance to decide because at that moment, Garcia hurried into the unit. "Good morning, Baby Girl." Morgan cried as she approached them."

"Morning," She exhaled, like she were forcing herself to speak.

"Garcia, what's wrong?" Reid wondered, looking up. None of them had to be profilers to see something had troubled her.

At first, she couldn't look at anyone, like she were trying to make sense of all this. Her eyes slowly came up, barely noticing the two men around her. "Emily..." She uttered, meeting her brown eyes. "I am so sorry, you must be so upset."

Confused, "What are you talking about?"

Suddenly stunned, she cleared her throat a bit, trying to keep calm. "You don't know?"

"Know what?" Emily asked. She glanced at Morgan and Reid, but they were just as lost as she.

She, too, looked at the boys and gasped. "Oh my God, none of you know."

"No we don't, what's going on, Penelope?" Morgan pressed, anxious to hear.

Turning her focus back to Emily, Garcia braced herself and answered. "Mick Rawson's dead."

Her confusing quickly melted into shock. Emily gaped at Garcia for the longest time, partially hoping this was just some joke to get her to spill about her date... but then again, that wasn't Garcia's style. She asked and begged for information and when she didn't get it, she  
>found a more technical way to get what she wanted. Never did she manipulate people.<p>

"Are you sure?" Morgan asked.

"Positive," She nodded. "I heard Hotch and Rossi talking about it in the hall, he was found yesterday morning... apparently, he committed suicide."

"What?" Reid exclaimed. He, too, got to his feet, desperate to know this was some kind of joke or sick rumor.

"They found him hanging in his bathroom." Garcia said, saddened. She looked to Emily, "I am so sorry I had to be the one to tell you, you must be devastated."

Emily, however, couldn't talk. She stood, catatonic, trying to make sense of this situation.

"Prentiss," Morgan said, "Prentiss, say something."

"She's upset," Reid insisted, hurrying over. He took her arms and easily guided her away. "I'm going to take her to Rossi's office where she can calm down."

"We'll let him know," Morgan said, watching as Reid lead her away, heading up the stairs to the catwalk. They entered his office easily and Reid closed the door. A second later, he shut the blinds, the two completely cut off from any prying eyes.

"Unbelievable, isn't it?" Morgan asked. "Prentiss and Rawson finally get together, they have a great time on Friday... and the next night, he kills himself?"

"Do you think she had any idea what was going to happen?" Garcia wondered, looking to Morgan with fear and worry.

"If she had, she would have done something to stop it." He insisted. "I think that's why she's so shocked... no one saw it coming."

"No," Garcia shook her head. "There had to be a clue... things like that don't just happen for nothing."

Indeed, she was right. Nothing in life happened by chance. There were always clues, a trail, a sign to indicate what was coming... and often, couldn't be stopped.

* * *

><p>After Reid closed the blinds, he headed over to Emily, helping he ease into a seat. "Emily," He said softly, brushing back a bit of her hair. "Can you hear me?"<p>

"Of course I can hear you," Emily snapped. "I haven't flipped out; I'm just... trying to make sense of this."

Reid put his arm around her as she leaned on her hands, blocking out the morning light spilling into the office. "It just seems... so surreal." She mumbled, her words stifled a bit by her palms. "I haven't seen nor spoken nor thought about Rawson in over a year... then two days ago, I mention him in passing to cover both our asses and suddenly he turns up dead."

"It's just a coincidence," Reid said confidently. "We barely knew Rawson or his team. He was in a stressful job, he took a lot of risks, plus he was thousands of miles from home... that develops a lot of pressure. Some people are better at dealing with that than others... obviously Rawson was, in reality, weaker than he appeared."

At that, Emily sat up, looking to Reid in disbelief. "You don't honestly believe Mick Rawson committed suicide."

Confused, "Garcia just said- "

"I know what Garcia said!" Emily cried. She hadn't meant to yell at him, it just came out and she couldn't stop it. "I may not have been friends with Rawson, but I didn't need to. I knew him, and no matter how depressed or hopeless his life seemed, he was not a person to take his own life. It would be like saying you committed suicide, it just wouldn't happen. That's not who you are."

As sick as it was, it was nice someone had that kind of faith in him. "So what do you think happened?"

"I don't know!" Emily exclaimed, getting to her feet. "There has to be an explanation. Rawson did not kill himself... someone killed him!"

She wasn't being rational. Reid stood up, wanting to pull her into his arms until she broke down and accepted this, but before he could, a metallic click sounded behind him. Reid turned to see the door opened by Rossi.

He stared at the two for a moment, figuring the best approach to the situation. "I take it you two have been brought up to speed on what happened?"

"Yes, sir, Emily was upset upon hearing about Rawson's death. I brought her in here to give her some privacy." Reid insisted.

He nodded, coming into the room. "What's going on?" He asked seriously, closing the door.

"Emily's having trouble processing this." Reid insisted.

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here!" Emily cried.

"I'm not!" He exclaimed. His eyes remained on her as he continued. "Emily can't seem to accept that Mick Rawson committed suicide. She's insisting he was murdered."

Rossi's response shocked them both. "She's right."

A tense silence filled the room. Neither knew how to respond this sudden change of events. Just ten minutes ago, they were discussing their second date, and now they were conversing over another agent's possible homicide.

"How do you know?" Emily asked. Despite her insistence, she couldn't accept this new bit of information without evidence.

"The placement of the noose." Rossi explained. "Hotch got a copy of the police report. There's only one clue to indicate it was murder and not suicide, but it's solid."

"What is it?" Reid inquired.

Rossi didn't answer at first, he moved to take the seat behind his desk, as if he desired to be comfortable during this conversation. "The placement of the noose." He answered. "If Rawson had killed himself, the noose would be situated at the base of the skull, but it wasn't." Rossi took his hands to demonstrate an imaginary rope. "It was to the side, a position impossible for a person to acquire by himself."

"So someone else had to hang him." Emily inferred.

"We haven't seen the coroner report yet, and since we're not investigating, I doubt we will." Rossi said. His hand fell into his lap, folding up with the other. "But that would be my theory. In fact, if I had to make a guess, I'd saw Rawson was dead before he was even strung up. Smothered in his sleep, most likely."

Reid turned to Emily apologetically, but she was in no way pleased at being proven right. "Who would do something like that?"

"Someone who wasn't afraid of him." Rossi insisted. He, too, had been considering this since Hotch had revealed it to him a few minutes ago. "Anyone with a grudge against Rawson would know what the man's capable of."

"I wouldn't be surprised if he slept with a gun under his pillow." Emily said. "It had to be a person who wanted revenge and had nothing to lose."

"Very true, and that could be a considerably long list." Rossi added.

Rawson of course had enemies. All of them did. It just seemed too fantastic for one to strike the day after Emily used him as an alibi. Reid watched her with caution, as if afraid she would break down at any second.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

Looking up, she wasn't sure what to say. No, she was not okay. She felt sick, with something beyond guilt. She and Rawson didn't speak, they had not contact whatsoever, and yet she felt like she had sentenced him to death. It was completely irrational.

But she wasn't going to find comfort right now. She needed to be alone and force it out of her mind. "Yeah... it's just a shock, that's all. I, uh..." She gathered herself quickly and headed to the door. "I'm going to finish my work before we leave for our next case. I'll see you both later."

The door open and closed with a soft click, leaving the men alone. Rossi was looking over Reid. By his inquisitive stare, he felt very exposed, feeling as if the old man could tell a lot more than Reid wished to reveal. He didn't think Emily had told him anything yet, but  
>perhaps she had. Until he was sure, he wasn't about to reveal anything.<p>

"She seems a lot more bothered by this than someone would suspect." Rossi mentioned. "She's under a lot of stress right now, isn't she?"

"What makes you think that?" Reid wondered.

"Clues," Rossi shrugged. "She's been distant lately, then throwing a beer bottle at you in Ohio... something is definitely going on. And perhaps it would be best if she weren't left alone."

"I don't believe Emily is a danger to herself." Reid said humorlessly.

"No, I don't mean that," Rossi corrected. "I just mean she might need a friend to lean on right now. Your job is to look out for her, she can confide in you easily. Emily needs support right now."

It couldn't have come at a more perfect time. At least now they had a cover. "Yes, sir."

Reid left the office, leaving Rossi alone. He crossed to the window, opening his blinds. Reid rejoined the others in the bull pen who were conversing with Morgan and Garcia, now joined by JJ. Emily sat at her desk pretending none of this had gotten to her, that it had come as a surprise, but it was over now.

Rossi hadn't been exaggerating. He did believe something was going on with Emily. Something serious, and beyond that which was happening with Reid. It seemed not even she knew what was happening... but there were clues. There were always signs that something was coming... he just hoped they'd be able to spot it before Emily found herself in the exact same place as Mick Rawson.


	9. The Chaos Theory

Emily had been a bit distant over the last few days. She was focused on the case, but kept to herself the rest of the time, barely interacting with the others. At first, Reid believed it was just an act to fool the others into thinking she was in mourning for Rawson, but after two nights of declining Reid's invitation to come to his room, he knew there was something much more personal involved.

Tonight, Reid wasn't taking no for an answer. An hour after the others went to bed, Reid snuck out of his room. He hadn't even bothered to change for bed yet, unsure how his body might betray he was too relaxed in front of her. Her room was at the end of the hall; Reid walked with caution, hoping no squeak in the floor board would alert the others to his prowling down the corridor.

Reaching her door, he knocked softly. Emily didn't answer and he hoped she wasn't sleeping. Knocking again, a soft voice answered, "Who is it?"

"It's me," Reid called as loudly as he dared.

A moment later, the door opened and Emily gave a weak smile. "Hi, Me."

"Can I come in?" He asked with bright eyes.

Emily thought for a moment and shook her head. "I'd really like to be alone if that's okay."

"No, it's not okay." Reid informed. "I'm worried about you. Let's talk about what's bothering you."

"Nothing's bothering me, Spencer. Good night." She said determinedly, and went to shut the door.

But, just as two weeks ago, Reid quickly forced his arm to prevent being shut out. "Emily, if you have a problem, you have to tell me. I'm your boyfriend now, you can't shut me out just because you don't want to talk about it. If you need your space, I understand, but I sense that's not the case."

"It's not a problem, I'm just…" She shook her head again. "I'm trying to sort some things out. I don't think you can help me."

"Try me." He ordered in a low voice, meeting her eyes with an intense gaze she'd only seen in her dreams.

Emily couldn't resist him. Stepping aside, she allowed him to come in. The room was immaculate, as if no one had disturbed the silence within. The only things out of place were Emily's unopened go bag and her shoes right beside it. She, too, had not changed for bed. The bedspread was smooth and untouched, indicating she hadn't even sat on it. Without a chair out of place, Reid knew she must have been pacing.

Closing the door, Emily quickly latched it, adding some extra security. A woman with a gun on her bedside usually didn't bother with such a tedious task, and that was a sign she was scared. Reid sat on the foot of the bed and slowly, Emily came over to join him.

"What's going on?" He asked. "This can't just be about Rawson."

"As a matter of fact, it is." She confessed. She'd been keeping this bottled up for three days now, not wanting to let anyone in. Suddenly, however, with Reid sitting beside her, gently taking her hand and gazing into her eyes with a glint she'd only seen when he was listening to a moving piece of music, she was relieved at the chance to let it go.

"I didn't think you cared much for Rawson." Reid said softly.

"I don't… I didn't." She assured. "I'm not going to lie. I had thought about hooking up with him… and I did meet him for drinks after a case, but I promise nothing physical ever happened between us. I never even kissed him."

"It would be alright if you did, Emily." Reid explained, sandwiching her hand between both of his. "I admit, I was jealous of him when you first met… but it's in the past and we're together now. And besides, it's a little tactless to jealous of a dead man."

"That's what I've been thinking about." She confessed. "My head is in chaos trying to figure out who could have killed him."

Reid let out a sympathetic sigh. "I don't think that's anything you could figure out on your own. You didn't know Rawson's friends or enemies; you don't know what kind of circles was in, what kind of people he got involved with. It would be different if he were a member of our team, but he was basically a stranger to us."

"Logically, that makes sense." Emily admitted. "But I can't seem… to ignore the feeling…"

She trailed off, avoiding his eyes. "What feeling?" He urged her on.

"That I had something to do with this." She revealed.

The room fell into a dead quiet. Emily closed her eyes, her free hand resting on her temple as she leaned on her knee. Reid considered her words, trying to understanding her reasoning.

"You think you got Rawson killed?" He clarified. "Emily, that doesn't make any sense."

"Really?" Emily said, getting to her feet, pulling her hand away. She started pacing again, as she'd been doing for the last hour. "You don't think it's odd? For the most part, I'd forgotten Mick Rawson existed. He rarely crossed my mind, and for the last six months, not to mention when you were sick, you were the only man I've been focused on. Out of the blue, he comes to mind and I use him for an excuse and 24 hours later, he's murdered."

"It's a… coincidence!" Reid exclaimed.

By his hesitation, Emily could tell his response was halfhearted. "You don't honestly believe that, do you?"

He wanted to make her feel better, but Reid couldn't lie. Perhaps if they were still just friends, he would say anything to put her mind at ease, but things were different between them now. And if they didn't have honesty, how could they trust each other?

"No," Reid said with the shake of his head. "In fact, I don't believe in coincidences at all."

That was new. "Really?" Emily asked, amazed.

"Yes, really." He answered. "Why, is that so hard to believe?"

"I just assumed someone like you wouldn't take stock in fate and destiny and that sort of thing." She said with a shrug.

"On the contrary, I believe my intelligence makes me more open-minded to such things." He explained. "It's much easier to believe that every movement, every occurrence is connected in some way, and one person's actions can affect and change the entire world. It's what's known as statistical physics, or the Chaos Theory, in laymen's terms."

"It makes a little more sense when you put it like that." Emily agreed, and at that felt calm enough to reclaim her seat.

"It makes plenty of sense." He said, suddenly excited, as he always was when he could impart wisdom on others. "Let's follow the trail of events. Let's take the night I was kidnapped for example."

"Which time?" Emily grumbled playfully.

"Very funny," Reid muttered. "Eight months ago, by Dr. Watson. You were having a problem that day, remember? I then offered to talk with you that Monday night. Do you even know the reason I went down to the car?"

"Yeah, it was to get your shaving cream." She answered.

"Exactly, and do you know why I was so determined to shave before bed?" He asked.

At that, Emily was at a loss. She considered it for a moment. From the very beginning of that investigation, it did seem odd that Reid wanted to shave before bed… but he wasn't going to bed. He was going to talk with her.

"Oh my God, you were trying to impress me." Emily exhaled.

"Precisely." Reid answered. "I remember, all I kept thinking about was having another kiss with you. You probably don't remember, but… that one night over a year ago… you were drunk and I took you home… you… you kissed me outside your door."

To his surprise, Emily gave a small smile. "I remember, Spencer."

Stunned, "You do?"

"Yes," She nodded. "I never brought it up because I was embarrassed, I knew I took advantage of you. But you never brought it up, either, and things weren't weird between us, so I just… let it go."

"Oh," Reid stammered. "Well… that explains a lot."

Emily smiled. He was so cute when he was bashful, and she reached over to press a kiss on his cheek, making his face turn pink.

"Anyway," Reid said, his breathing heavy. "Where was I?"

"Shaving cream." She said.

"Right, I went to grab my shaving cream because I wanted to impress you. If I hadn't been concerned about that, I would have brushed my teeth, changed into my pajamas, and went to your room. We would have had a nice long talk and said goodnight, probably without a kiss. But I was kidnapped, which lead to my amnesia which, in turn, brought us together. We could even follow it further back than that-" He stopped suddenly. "I feel like I'm rambling."

"Just a bit." Emily said with a smile. She was definitely starting to feel better.

Reid cleared his throat, trying to get back to the route of their conversation. "All I'm saying is that you might not be entirely far off. If you feel like you had a hand in Rawson's death… well, it might not be a bad idea to trust your instincts."

At that, Emily suddenly became scared, not to mention appalled. "You're saying, if I hadn't mentioned Rawson on Friday, he might not have died?"

"Maybe not the next day." Reid interpreted. "It's possible someone was tracking him for awhile, maybe hearing you went on a date with him put the unsub on alert. Perhaps he feared whatever Rawson was involved in, he would reveal to you over the next few weeks and, instead of a well thought out murder, the unsub acted hastily."

"But who could have heard about that?" Emily wondered. They had been alone in the elevator, and the only people who knew about the date were her own teammates. She trusted them more than she trusted herself.

"Well… and remember, it's just a theory, but… the team was rather intrigued that you were going out with him." Reid said. "They went out for drinks that night… perhaps they discussed it a bit and someone in the bar overheard. If they went to our usual bar, they could have said something to Joe and you know what a gossip he is."

"That's true," Emily nodded. "If he didn't say it to the unsub, it still could have gotten back to him."

"Exactly," Reid replied. "The point is, however, that no matter how it happened, you did nothing wrong. Rawson is dead because of something he did or was involved in, whether it was on the job or something illegal, it was his choice. You mentioning his name wasn't condemning him to death."

Letting out a deep breath, Emily had to admit, his reasoning made perfect sense. "I guess, you're right… and it's probably just some misplaced guilt that I feel at never calling him back; I'm just overreacting."

"Rawson's death did come out of nowhere." He said, and at that, he put his arm around her. Unlike last time in Rossi's office, Emily moved into his touch, resting her head on his shoulder. "It shocked all of us, and everyone deals with shock in their own way."

Emily's arms went around Reid's middle, clutching to his warm body. She leaned into him, pressing a kiss on his neck. "Thank you," she whispered. "I was driving myself crazy obsessing over this."

Reid's other arm wrapped around her, holding her close to him. He pressed a kiss on the top of her beautiful raven hair. "You can't be afraid to talk to me, Em. Promise me, if something's bothering you like this again, you'll come to me. Even if you just need to get something off your chest."

"It's ironic," Emily said, sitting up to look at him. "If we were still platonic, I may have been reluctant, but I probably would have sought you out to discuss it. Either that, or taken you up on your offer the other night to talk… now I'm too afraid you're going to get irritated with me and I'll drive you away."

"That won't happen." Reid avowed. "The only way I'm going to get irritated is if you keep things from me. Promise me you'll be honest with me."

"As long as you give me the same courtesy, Dr. Reid." She revealed with a provocative glow.

He felt his cheeks turn pink again, but he smiled. "I love how dirty you make my name sound."

With a light giggle, Emily reached up to kiss him. Slow at first, morphing into something hot and passionate, the power of it quickly falling out of their control. Reid's hand grazed the hourglass curve of her torso, down along her hip, and caressing her thigh. Through the polyester of her pants, he could feel the heat radiating from her… and his room suddenly felt so far away.

He suddenly snapped back to reality as her fingers trailed down the line of buttons on his shirt, never breaking from his lips. Reid felt himself shudder, his body instinctively moving closer to her.

"You don't… have to go back… to your room tonight, do you?" She asked, her lips still connected to his, barely mustering enough strength to pull apart to breathe, let alone talk.

Her delicate fingers easily removed the first button on his shirt, beginning to reveal the t-shirt underneath. He didn't want to do this now, it wasn't what he planned… but her kiss was so sweet and she smelled so good… maybe this didn't need to be perfectly planned. Maybe it would be fun just to give into his desires and be spontaneous.

"No," He answered, pulling away from her kiss and moving to kiss her neck. "This is the only place I need to be."

Letting out a grateful sigh, Emily moved so she was kneeling on the bed, careful not to disturb his sensual work on her neck. Now in a better position, she easily undid the rest of the buttons on his shirt. As she pushed it off his shoulders, she moved to straddle his lap.

She pulled away enough to see his face, his lips puffy and swollen from their kisses, his eyes blazing with lustful fire. "God, I missed you." She panted with a smile.

Reid responded with nothing but a wanton smirk, and she couldn't help but reveal in the confidence he had in him now. It wasn't timid or unsure or even innocent. There was a dominance in him she'd never seen before, a determination to make her his. He almost seemed dangerous. Emily had never felt intimidated under his gaze before. She liked it.

His hand reached to cradle her head, pulling her down for another kiss, his other hand pulling a part of her blouse out of her pants, sliding it underneath. Her creamy skin felt like feathers, trembling excitedly under his touch. His hand crept up teasingly, stopping just below the strap of her bra. His fingers stroked her skin lightly, back and forth, building up anticipation.

Her body was screaming for more, and it took every effort not to scream herself. She moved her lips from his, across his cheek to his ear. "Spencer," She whispered desperately. "Please… touch me."

"Are you sure?" He asked teasingly. "Once we go here, we can never go back."

They had passed the point of no return a long time ago, but that wasn't the point. He had way too much power over her right now and he was using it to his full advantage. Emily repressed a grumble in her throat, sitting up to meet his eyes. "You're not quite as innocent as you seem, are you, Dr. Reid?"

It was true, Spencer Reid was not that innocent boy from long ago. It was just the way the rest of his team saw him, and they assumed too much about him and his personal life. But this was much more than a false identity. Emily did something to him. She was calling forth a part of him that ached to be released, to take control. A part that only emerged at her summon.

"Oh, Emily," He said with an evil smile. "You have no idea how sinful I can really be."

At those words, Emily felt another shiver run up her spine and at last, felt Reid's hand move to cup her breast, lightly manipulating it in his hand. She let out a strangled gasp, barely able to catch her breath before his lips took hers again, his tongue quickly conquering her mouth.

Her fingers found the hem of his t-shirt. Just as she pulled it over his head, however, they stopped abruptly from a knock on the door.

They both stopped, looking to each other in fear. They had hardly gotten started, but how much noise had they been making? "Who is it?" Emily asked, hoping her voice wouldn't give anything away.

"It's Hotch," The voice called on the other side. "Can you open the door?"

"Uh," Emily responded. "Hang on a second."

Hurriedly, Emily climbed off Reid's lap. In a flash, she started removing her clothes in front of him. He was stunned, but couldn't tear his eyes away from the sight of her strip down to her bra and panties.

"What are you doing?" He mouthed as she met his eyes.

She put a finger up to her lips to tell him to be quiet. Quickly, she grabbed the hotel robe, hanging on the bathroom door and promptly pulled it on. Once the sash was secure, she took Reid's hand, pulling him to his feet and quickly shoved him in the bathroom.

"Wait, Emily-" He said, barely audible.

"Shh!" She hissed, and swiftly closed him inside. Alone now, Emily rushed over to answer the door.

"Sorry," She said as she answered. "I was just about to get into the shower."

"I apologize." Hotch said. "Everyone has to meet in the lobby in fifteen minutes. Another body's been found."

He didn't notice her breathe with relief at the news. "Oh, okay. I just need to get redressed."

"Thank you," He said. "And could you try calling Reid's cell to get him up. I pounded on his door, but he never answered."

"That boy can sleep through anything." Emily smiled. "He usually wakes up for his phone. I'll call him."

"Thanks," Hotch replied. He was about to walk away when his eyes caught sight of something on the floor.

Emily turned to see what had interested him. Among her strewn clothes, she suppressed a gasp in her throat, spotting Reid's white t-shirt next to her blouse.

"Were you wearing that today?" He asked, confused.

"It's what I wear to bed." She explained, casually. "I was about to set it out for after my shower when you knocked, I must have dropped it when I went to grab the robe from the bathroom before I answered the door."

"Oh," He said, convinced. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry," She said, waving it off. "We're all profilers, after all. We notice when things are out of place."

He nodded. "Don't forget about Reid," He said, and with that, walked off.

Emily quickly closed the door, leaning on it as she sighed with relief. "Don't worry," she laughed, "I won't."

The bathroom opened and Reid stood before her, his torso still bare. "You should learn to be more organized with your clothes, Emily."

She scowled while giving him a playful smack on his naked arm. "You'd better get redressed; we've got to get down to the lobby." She said, the disappointment in her voice was evident.

Before she could pull away, Reid grabbed her wrist. "It's for the best," He said as she met his eyes. The lust was gone, but had been replaced with kindness and love... love for her. His hand reached over to brush her cheek. "Now we can wait to do this right."

Her disappointment faded a little as Emily smiled. She reached up to give him a gentle kiss. "You're right." She answered. "Good things come to those who wait."

Reid matched her smile, pulling her into a loving embrace. He didn't mind waiting. She was definitely worth waiting for.


	10. Wish Upon A Star

Saturday was a hot and humid evening, intensifying the atmosphere of the Heritage Festival. The grounds of state park, located an hour outside Washington, DC, were filled with tents and booths varying from historical displays to homemade crafts and delicious food. It was a perfect place to spend a summer evening.

Reid and Emily arrived in the late afternoon and spent hours trailing the paths, taking in the sights. Reid enjoyed studying the cultural showcases. He liked discussing the authenticity of each one with the patrons. Emily had to hold her laughter as he got into a heated debate with one woman running the Nurses of the Civil War booth. It was quite entertaining.

By sunset, Emily's growling stomach could be heard over the chattering crowd. "Ready for dinner?" Reid asked, amused.

"Yeah, I'm starving." She said. "What are you in the mood for?"

"I don't know, what's common to eat at these things?" Reid wondered.

Emily was intrigued. "Haven't you ever gone to a festival or a carnival, Reid?"

"The only festivals I've gone to are stuffy, indoor functions with bland hor d'oeurves and really smart people." He explained, a little shyly. "They don't typically offer cotton candy and deep fried oreos."

Giggling, Emily slipped her sunglasses onto the top of her head. With the failing light, it was getting harder to see. "Well, seeing as how we both have such similar tastes, how about I get our food and you claim one those benches over there. I'll be back in a moment."

"Let me give you some money," He said, pulling out his wallet.

"Reid," She said, grabbing his arm to stop him. "It's on me."

"But I asked you on the date." He insisted. "It's supposed to be my treat."

"This isn't up for debate, Spencer. I want to treat my boyfriend to dinner."

With twinkle in his eye, Reid leaned into her, his hand gracefully ticking her hip. "And if I say no?"

With a wicked grin, she replied. "Well then you're just going to have to stop me."

Unable to resist himself, Reid easily pulled Emily into a long kiss. There were sometimes he couldn't resist this woman, especially now. When she looked so sexy and acted so alluring. Not to mention being in a crowd of people was very arousing. There was no one around them they knew, yet it felt like any second, they could be caught by any high ranking figure of the FBI.

Their lips parted slowly and Reid met her powerful brown eyes. "Okay, you win. But dessert is on me."

"Great, I've craving funnel cake since this morning." She said. She reached to slip one more kiss on his cheek before hurrying off to get their food.

They had a meal of corndogs and French fries, sharing an extra large homemade lemonade. As they ate, the sun began to disappear, the sky turning into a steel blue. Stars began to twinkle high above them, appearing one by one, partnered with the half moon.

It would still be a few hours before the fireworks started, and so the couple decided to have another walk around. Reid found Emily's hand, clasping it warmly. They strolled among the festival like two teenagers without a care in the world, slowly and blissfully falling in love.

"The stars are so beautiful," Emily said, looking up to the sky. "You never see stars like this in the city."

"Did you know most of the stars we see in the sky are already dead?" Reid asked casually.

She let out a sigh. As romantic as he was, he certainly knew how to ruin a moment. "No, I didn't. That's interesting."

"They do have a mystical and appealing quality to them, though." He explained. "They've shown up in fairy tales and folksongs for centuries, in hundreds of countries."

"That's true," Emily agreed. She took a glance at him. "I used to wish on stars all the time when I was little."

Intrigued, "What did you wish about?"

She hesitated a moment, than answered simply. "Freedom."

That was unexpected. "Freedom from what?" Reid asked.

"I don't know, I guess I shouldn't complain. I had a very comfortable life. I had plenty of food and a warm home, more than a lot of people have, especially nowadays." She said. "But… I had my whole future planned out for me… and it did not sound appealing. All I wanted was to make my own decisions. To chose a path that was right for me, to make a difference in the world… to be someone I love, not because he had a rich family line…"

As her voice trailed off, she looked over to the man beside her, staring at her like she was the most captivating thing in the world. Maybe her childish gesture hadn't been so foolish at all.

She cleared her throat nervously, brushing her hair behind her ear. "I guess it would be hard for you to understand…"

After a pause, Reid answered. "You'd be surprised." He looked away from her shyly.

Emily looked at him curiously, "What do you mean?"

"Just hearing you say that... it makes me think of your star puzzle." He mentioned. "It's been sitting on your desk since I put it together."

"Actually, no it hasn't." Emily said.

Reid looked to her and she quickly explained. "When you lost your memory, you knocked it off my desk. It was an accident, but you felt so bad. Without me knowing, you took the pieces. It took you a week, but you put it back together for me."

"Wow," Reid muttered, unable to look at her. "That was really sweet, I wish I could remember it."

"It really meant a lot to me." She added. "After so many weeks, I finally felt like I had my friend back."

"Oh," he mumbled, a little sad. "Glad to hear you didn't tell me you hated me that time."

She laughed as she rolled her eyes. "I didn't say I hated you, I said there was a lot to hate…" And suddenly the smile faded from her face. Emily stopped in her tracks, flabbergasted. "Oh my God…" Could she really have been that stupid? That blind?

A step before her, Reid stopped as well. He looked back Emily, his eyes bright and somber. The hurt radiated in them, it made Emily want to cry.

The crowd moved around them, taking not notice of the scene in the middle of the path. The shiny tears glistening in Emily's eyes. Over a year later, the truth finally came out.

"You did that to impress me." She expressed, her voice soft and heavy.

"I really liked that story," He confessed, taking a step back towards her. His eyes were glowing with their own stars inside them. He reached with his fingers to brush Emily's cheek. "I thought it was beautiful and romantic… maybe if we had been alone, things would have been different, but I couldn't admit how much I liked it in front of the others. They would have made fun of me… argue if you want, but you know it's true." He looked down warily for a moment, before gathering his strength and meeting her eyes again. "It is impossible to catch a real star… so I did the next best thing… for the love of the fairest maiden in the land."

With a smile, Emily's arms reached to pull him to her, draping over his shoulders. "I'm sorry… I'm starting to see there were a lot of times you were trying to get my attention… and I was just too stupid to see. You certainly are a real prince… and there is a lot to love about you, Dr. Reid."

She reached to kiss him. Reid parted his lips and went to lean into her. Just as he did, however, something caught his eye.

Gasping, he pulled from Emily's embrace, causing her to stumble a bit. Startled and hurt, she looked at Reid, appalled.

"What's…"

"Look behind you," He hissed, backing away slightly.

Concerned, Emily casually turned to look. At first, she saw nothing suspicious, getting further bewildered by the moment. Then she spotted it, admitting as sharp a breath as he.

About twenty feet away from them, JJ was walking down the path. With her was her husband, Will LaMontagne, who was carrying their two-year-old son, Henry. The family was talking and laughing, enjoying their time at the festival. Completely oblivious to what they had almost walked into.

"Did you know they were coming?" Reid asked, keeping his distance now.

"No," Emily said turning around, just as alarmed as Reid. "She never said anything about it, I didn't even think the others knew about this festival."

"Thank goodness we spotted them." He said, his breathing starting to normalize.

A moment later, the family reached them. JJ smiled with delight as she spotted the two. "Hey, guys!" She cried. "I didn't know you were coming here."

"Great minds think alike." Emily exclaimed, easily hiding her surprise and discomfort. She looked to Will and Henry with a pleasant smile. "It's nice to you boys, too. It's been awhile. Isn't it past your bedtime little fella?"

"We're sticking around for the fireworks." Will explained, bouncing the toddler in his arms.

"We heard the lake is the best spot to see them." JJ clarified.

"Oh, what a coincidence, that's where we were heading." Reid kindly said. "Mind if we tag along?"

"Not at all." Will said, he glanced at his little boy with a smile. "You guys having a good time?"

"Oh the best," Emily said, a little stiffly. She wasn't too pleased at having to cut their date short by joining their friends, but she knew Reid's reasoning for it. It would be very suspicious if they tried to avoid them, no doubt a subject that would arise on Monday morning, and it was very possible they wouldn't have an excuse this time.

The crowd got a bit thicker as they moved towards the lake, forcing them closer in order to stick together. Reid found Emily's hand again, squeezing it securely for comfort. It wasn't much, but even the smallest gesture was enough of a reminder that he was hers… and in fact, always had been.

They found a spot near the bank and Will sat down to let Henry play by the water. JJ offered to go get some lemonade for everyone. Emily deciding to take along to help.

"So, it's nice to see you and Reid having fun together." JJ said as they stood in line at the nearest concession stand.

"Yeah, well… we haven't spent much time just him and me for… a long time." She replied. "I thought this would be a nice change of scenery. We're having a pretty good time."

JJ cleared her throat nervously. "So… things are back to normal between you two? Just as they always were before?"

Emily let a slow breath. "Yes… we're still rebuilding our friendship, but for the most part, things are back to normal."

Nodding, she replied with a hollow. "Good."

The insincerity was obvious, like JJ was disappointed they were just friends. Emily remembered their conversation six months ago, when Reid was missing a second time. Was she actually disheartened at the belief her feelings were only because he was sick?

In that moment, she considered telling JJ the truth. She didn't have to tell her everything, just enough to bring her into the loop. After a second, however, she decided against it. As badly as she wanted to talk about this with her friends, it was better just to keep quiet for now. It wouldn't have to be secret forever, and it would better if they waited until things were more solid between them.

"I'm sorry about Rawson, by the way." She said, changing the subject. "How have you been dealing with it?"

"Uh…" Unsure how to answer that. "I'm not really sure how to act… it's not like the two of us knew each other very well."

"Well, for what it's worth, we think you would have made a good couple." She said.

"I don't," Emily retorted. It was true, despite an initial physical attraction to the man, there was nothing about Mick Rawson that made her smile or sent a shiver through her. He didn't even compare to what she had now. "I don't know why I wanted to see him in the first place, we never really clicked. I'm sorry he died, but we never would have worked. He's too full of himself to appeal to me and… he would have gotten bored with me. I may work for the FBI, I catch killers, I like to go to bars and have fun with my friends... but for the most part, I enjoy the quiet. I'm partial to the calmer aspects of my life. That wouldn't be enough for him after awhile."

"You don't know that for sure. Garcia and I are always saying how much we want you to find someone you love... to have something like we have." She explained. "I can't tell you how ecstatic we were for you when we went out for drinks."

At that, Emily was suddenly interested. "So… you guys talked about it at the bar?"

"For hours." She specified.

"Oh," She was beginning to suspect Reid's theory wasn't too far off. "I take it Joe found it pretty interesting."

JJ shook her head. "Joe wasn't there."

Taken off guard, Emily stood stunned for a moment. "He always works on Friday nights."

"According to the new guy, he was covering for him." She informed. "He was really nice, and cute. Hey, maybe he'll be there next Friday. We'll introduce you, he's nice."

"No, that's okay." Emily shook her head. "Did you… tell him about me and Rawson?"

"It might have come up, but I'm sure he overheard us." JJ said as they reached the counter. "Yes, we'll have four large lemonades, please." The young cashier quickly went to the press to make them, giving the girls a few more minutes to talk. JJ looked back to Emily. "He was a pretty talkative guy, but you know how bar tenders are, they work for tips."

That was true, but it was hard to ignore the feeling in the pit of Emily's stomach. Sometimes… it was scary just how much Reid could figure out just by thinking things through.

Emily decided to drop the subject for now. She considered perhaps going there next Friday as JJ had said, just to get a look at this guy, maybe even talk to him for a moment. But, instead, decided to just let it go. Rawson's death was neither her fault nor concern anymore. It was best to just let it go.

Drinks in hand, JJ and Emily headed back to where the men were waiting. Her mind was still abuzz with everything, almost forgetting why she was at the festival in the first place. As they found the three sitting in the grass by the water, Emily looked and spotted Reid. At the sight before her, everything she worried and obsessing about was wiped from her mind instantly.

Reid hadn't had much time to spend with his godson since before he got sick, so being able to play with Henry tonight must have been wonderful. He sat beside Will and Henry sat in his lap. He was laughing and playing with the baby, bringing a bright smile to toddler's face. He looked so happy… and Reid was just as joyful.

_They had nothing to do but wait. Garcia would call any minute, and until then, there was nothing to do. Emily sat in the conference room, glancing through the blinds out the window. Poor JJ. Though the precinct was comfortable for everyone else, those hormones were acting up on her. She looked well overheated, trying to fan herself with a case file. Emily didn't envy her… not really._

_Just as she was about to look away, her eyes landed on Reid. He, too, had spotted JJ out the window. He was looking to her with great interest, a light sparkling in his eyes. Almost like longing. It was an exceptional expression… one he wore only when his mind was working at great capacity. It made Emily wonder._

_As he turned back around, she caught his eye. "You considering it?" She asked._

_Curious, "Considering what?"_

"_Having baby geniuses one day." She clarified._

_Emily could almost hear the wheels in his head starting to turn. Before he could answer, though, the phone began to ring. Garcia, at last with new information. Still, in that split second, she couldn't help but be curious what was going through his head. She considered asking him later, wondering if perhaps he was considering being a father. Someday. When the time was right, after he fell in love. And it was amusing to think just who that exceptional lady might be._

Emily hadn't thought about that day in a long time, but it suddenly came back to her, as fresh as the moment it happened. Reid had never expressed wanting to have children… but then again, he never said he didn't want them either. Seeing him with Henry filled her with a great hope. He was so happy with that little baby… and maybe, one day…

She suddenly had a vision of Reid in a few years time. His attention was focused on another baby, about the same age, with raven hair and the most vibrant hazel eyes in the world. A girl… a beautiful little girl, who made Reid light brighter than the world at sunrise.

"Emily, are you okay?" JJ asked, who had gotten several steps away from her.

Coming back to the present, Emily took a deep breath. "I'm… yeah…" Was all she could say, following her quickly to evade further questioning.

Handing out the drinks, JJ took a spot beside Will, taking the baby off Reid's lap and pressing a kiss on his cheek. Will put his arm around her, getting comfortable for the show. Emily sat beside Reid and handed him a drink, staring at him for a long time. At that moment, the fireworks started, blazing up the night sky in the brightest colors.

She leaned back on the grass to enjoy the show. Reid followed suit, now at the perfect angle to lean in her ear.

"Are you okay?" He whispered. The family was too focused on the light and sparkles to pay any attention to them.

Emily met his gorgeous hazel eyes and smiled. She wanted to tell him she loved him, that she wanted to spend her life with him, to have a family and grow old together, to have the life she believed for so long had gotten too far out of reach for her… but it was too soon for that.

Instead, she gave a genuine smile. "I'm really happy to be here with you."

"Sorry it didn't turn out the way we planned." He muttered with a guilty shrug.

Her hand wiggled up between them, lightly tickling him through the fabric of his shirt. "I think it's even better."

Their eyes locked for a moment longer before they looked away, losing themselves in the fireworks blazing among the twinkling stars.


	11. A Perfect Pair

_Midnight struck as Reid and Emily ascended the stairs. The halls were quiet, most of the tenants already in bed. Their talking and laughter echoed among the deserted stairwell and corridors, but neither cared how much noise they were making. For however brief a time, there was nothing wrong in the world._

_They made it to Emily's floor and, hand and hand, they walked to her apartment. Reid was dreading every step, not wanting to let her go. He knew he didn't have to… it would be very easy to get himself invited in. For a split second, he decided anymore waiting might be overrated._

"_Well," Emily said with a smile as she turned to him. "Here we are."_

"_Yeah," Reid nodded. "I had a lot of fun tonight, Emily."_

"_Me, too." She agreed, moving closer to him. Her eyes were melding with his and she refused to look away. "It doesn't have to be over, you know… would you like to come in?"  
><em>

"_There is nothing I would like more." He said with an honest smile. "But… I can't stay."_

_She let out a sigh, sadness glowing in her eyes. Her hands took his, squeezing them for dear life. "Please, Spencer," She begged. "Don't go… please don't leave me."_

"_I have to," He said. "It isn't right."_

_Letting out a grown, she reached up to pull him closer, giving him a powerful kiss. She pulled away much too soon, knowing he'd be anxious for more._

"_I know you're trying to be a gentleman," She whispered in a pant, pressing her hungry body into his. "I love it, Spencer, no one has ever treated me like this before. You make me feel like a queen… but the more you do, the more I want to be with you. I want you, Spencer, please stay with me tonight!"_

_Before he could retort, she brought him into another kiss, grinding her body into his. He twitched uncomfortably, grasping to his composure with all his strength. It felt he was hanging off a cliff by nothing but his fingernails._

_He forced himself to keep perspective. He didn't want to wait and Emily certainly didn't, but this wasn't right. He couldn't bring himself to think otherwise. The curse of the gentleman._

"_Emily," He insisted, pulling away. He met her gaze and felt a shiver go through his body, which ached for her so much. There was a burning desperation inside her brown eyes, a longing to make love to him tonight._

_Instead of giving in, as a weaker man would do, his hands cupped her face. "I want you, too… you have no idea how hard it is to walk away from you… but it's not time yet. I like to go little slowly, I like to get to know the woman I'm with, and you… God, Emily, I could spend a lifetime getting to know."_

_"Please tell me we're not going to take that long," She teased with a small smile._

_With a gentle grin, he pressed a chaste kiss to her cheek. "We'll get there soon… it's not so bad getting to know each other, is it? You deserve someone wants to appreciate you, who wants to be with you… not just have his way with you as fast as possible."_

_He had a point. As badly as she wanted him, it was a little silly to rush it. Reid wasn't going anywhere, they should take their time. It would be so much better when they finally made it to the next level._

_Reid met her in another kiss and Emily responded slowly, not wanting to let herself lose control again. As they pulled away, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "Well, in that case, thank you for a lovely evening. I had a wonderful time."_

"_Me, too," He said. "I hope you have sweet dreams, Emily."_

_"Well, I'm not going straight to bed." She spoke very slowly. He watched with longing as her crimson lips perfectly pronounced every word. "I think I'm going to go upstairs, turn off the lights, light some candles, take off all my clothes, and soak in a long hot, soapy bubble bath."_

_There was an imagine that was going to keep him up for awhile. His voice cracked a bit as he answered. "Sounds very relaxing."_

_With a light chuckle, she gave him one last kiss, her hand resting on his cheek. "See you Monday." She said, pulling away._

"_I'll call you tomorrow." He informed as she unlocked her door. Stepping inside, she gave him one last smile and slowly closed the door. Slowly, Reid made his way back down the hall to the stairs, heading off into the cold night alone._

Reid's thoughts had gotten away from him, as they so often did. The BAU team was on the jet, flying back to DC after a successful case, a serial bomber in Harrisburg. Now that it was over, his thoughts were free to linger on more personal matters… and that consisted of his current dilemma.

"Hey, kid," Morgan said as he took the seat across from him. They sat alone towards the front of the plane, away from the others, most of which were resting in silence. "What's going on with you?"

"What are you talking about?" He asked, trying to hide how he felt.

"Come, Reid, obviously something's bothering you." He said, his voice concerned and demanding. "Unless you're talking about the case, you've been really quiet all week. Is something on your mind? Are you angry about something?"

"No," He shook his head. "It's stupid, you don't want to hear about it."

He turned to look out at the clouds spread out across the sky. "Reid," Morgan argued, pulling his attention back to him. "If you need to talk, you know I'm here. What's going on? Are you… having nightmares again? It would be understandable, you brain is still healing from your accident."

"No, no, it… it has nothing to do with that, it's… personal." He tried to explain.

Suddenly curious, Morgan gave him a suspicious look and tried to suppress a smile. "A girl?"

As his face turned warm, he knew he couldn't hide it. "Kind of."

"Oh my God!" Morgan exclaimed, trying to keep his voice low. He hadn't expected to be right about that. "My boy finally has a pretty young thing in his sights! What's her name?"

"I don't want to get into details." Reid assured. "It's best if I… remain vague on who she is. At least for the time being."

"I'm not going to tell anyone, Reid." He insisted.

"I know…" Reid mumbled. He glanced quickly to make sure no one was eavesdropping. He didn't want the rest of the team to hear, especially Emily, who looked so flawlessly beautiful over there, simply reading a book. "Everything's been going so well between us, I don't want to jinx anything."

"Fair enough." Morgan replied with a smile. "So, what's the problem?"

Reid cleared his throat, adjusting himself in his seat. The last thing he needed was to be mocked by his choices over the last two weeks.

"Well…" He leaned forward on the table, his voice in a whisper. "We've been out a couple times, and…" His face suddenly broke into a wide smile. It couldn't be stopped, "it's been absolutely amazing. I mean, I've never felt so connected to another woman before."

"It certainly explains why you broke it off with Marlee." He said, leaning on the table. "And here I thought it was because Prentiss threw that bottle at you."

"Yeah… she, this girl… she's incredible." He gushed.

"Tell me," Morgan couldn't help but be curious. "I know you're a lot more complex than this, but just humor me… is she hot?"

"Hot" Reid repeated. What a primitive and ignorant way to describe the outstanding Emily Prentiss. "She is gorgeous… she's sensual and beautiful… and unbelievably sexy." Reid closed his eyes, Emily falling into his mind's eye, watching the roll and sway of her curvy figure and how much he longed to explore every inch of it. "Every time I look at her, it's like I'm looking at some priceless sculpture, she's… as close to perfect as a woman can be."

When his eyes opened again, Morgan was looking at him in astonishment. Reid was suddenly panicked, fearful he had figured it out.

"You're in love with her." He stated, dumbfounded.

A moment's hesitation as Reid swallowed hard. "It's much too early for me to admit that."

"You are in love!" Morgan hissed, his eyes glowing with pride for his boy. "Oh, I've got to meet this girl."

"In time," Reid nodded, trying to ignore the irony of that statement. He knew almost as much about Emily as Reid did. "Like I said, this is new… we don't want anyone disturbing this yet, not when it's so fragile."

"I get that." Morgan nodded. "So… what's the problem?"

"The problem is… well, we've been on some dates and, as I said, they went well. Not entirely to plan, but they were memorable and wonderful just the same." He explained, leaning back in his chair, his fingers drummed on the table. "We've been going slowly, for two reasons. I wanted us to be comfortable with one another, to get to know each other in this new romance… but also, I want to show her how much she means to me… that my main concern is not getting her into bed."

"That's deep, Reid." He nodded. "I still don't see the problem."

He cleared his throat again, not wanting his voice to crack from embarrassment. "I think we've reached the next level, I think we're ready to take the next step… but I want our next date to be special. I want to do something for her that really…"

"Make her toes curl?" Morgan finished.

With a nod, "In a sense, yes. I want to plan a date that really appeals to her, that… fills her with such joy and love… to show her how much she means to me, how much I think about her… that, yes, I'm falling in love with her." He anxiously ran a hand through his hair. "It's frustrating when you can't just open a book and find the answer, you know?"

Morgan smiled. Reid had come to the right place. "I could give you a hundred ideas for a date, ranging from all kinds of extravagances and price ranges… but there is one never fail idea that I think would be perfect for you and your lady friend."

"What?" Reid asked, intrigued.

"You know what they say: the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach." Morgan explained. "The truth is kind of the same for girls. They absolutely melt when a man cooks for them. So, with that knowledge, I suggest you make her a romantic dinner."

"In theory, it's a great idea." Reid said, disappointed. "But I don't cook. I can make simple things, that's about it."

"Then make something simple. Play to your strengths, the fact that you made an effort means more than the actual food." He retorted. "And remember, it's also about the presentation.  
>Chilled wine, soft music in the background, candlelight, it creates an atmosphere. And most importantly, dessert. Something intimate that the two of you can share. Even if it's ice cream."<p>

Reid smiled. "She does like ice cream."

"Vanilla and chocolate sauce is a big crowd pleaser." Morgan added. "She'll love it. Just think it over, match your cooking abilities to her tastes in food, even if it's just a homemade pizza. You can buy all the ingredients and just throw them together."

"No," Reid shook his head. An idea had suddenly come to him and it fit Emily to a tee. "I know what I'm going to make her."

"See, it's easy when you have the right idea." Morgan said with pride. "Maybe I should write that book."

With a grin. "I'll definitely read it… then again, I'm hoping this date will go well… and I'll never have to go through such pressure again."

Morgan shook his head. "Word of advice Reid, it doesn't matter if it's the first date or the 50th anniversary. You always need to find a way to keep the romance alive. It gets less demanding as the years go on, you'll get the hang of it."

Reid quickly looked over to Emily again, watching as her delicate fingers turned to the next page. She looked up as Garcia sat down beside her, engaging her in a new conversation. He watched with longing as she picked up her tea from the table and took a long sip, her crimson lips wrapping around the porcelain. He suddenly longed to kiss her.

"You know," Reid said as he turned back to Morgan before he could realize who he was staring at. "I've liked this girl for a long time… and even now that we're together, I'm shocked she likes me as much as I like her."

"Why are you shocked?" Morgan asked seriously. "You're a great guy, Reid, any girl would be lucky to have you."

"Yeah…" Reid muttered as he looked out the window. "I take it that's why when you're around, I suddenly become invisible to women."

"There's a reason for that, Reid." Morgan explained. "I'm a player, Reid. The girls I go after can see that. They're only interested in me for a night. A guy like you, though, is what every girl is hoping to meet. You're the kind of guy a girl wants for the rest of her life. It might have taken you a little longer to find her, but trust me, if she's as amazing as you say… she knows what she's got."

Reid couldn't help but feel touched by that. "Thanks." He said with a smile.

"Word of advice, though. Now that you know this, don't over think it. She likes you for who you are, don't try to be different because you think she wants something else."

Reid nodded in agreement, taking one more glance at Emily before his attention went back out the window, his genius mind working on his perfect date.

* * *

><p>The team arrived back at the unit just before four. No one was planning to do any work, just quickly check in at their desks and call it a day. Everyone was making plans to grab some dinner and drinks, preparing to meet in the lobby in fifteen minutes.<p>

The others broke off to head to their offices, leaving Reid and Emily alone. Heading to the bull pen, Reid took a glance at her. He desperate for a moment alone with her. He hadn't even kissed her in the last few days, relying on stolen glances and little touches to get them through the case.

"What were you and Morgan talking about on the plane?" Emily wondered as Reid held the glass door open for her.

"You heard that?" He asked, a little apprehensive.

"No, but I saw you two conversing, it looked pretty intense." Emily replied. "Talking about your latest female conquests?"

"That would be a one-sided conversation." Reid corrected. "Just, you know, literature, politics, philosophy."

That gave her a laugh, he was pleased to see. "Okay, fine, if you don't want to tell me, that's alright."

"What about you?" Reid wondered. "What were you reading? It looked interesting."

Emily suddenly stopped, grabbing his arm. "Oh, yeah… I guess I should give this back to you."

From the depths of her bag, she pulled out an old black, hardcover book. "I uh… I'm sorry, I took this while you were sick. I should have given it back to you sooner, but… what with everything, I couldn't bring myself to do it."

Carefully, Reid took the book and turned the spine to read the title. "Oh…" Reid exclaimed. "My Edgar Allan Poe, book, I've been trying to remember what happened to this, I thought I lost it… or Watson stole it."

"I'm really sorry," Emily said, resting her hand on top of his. "It's just… over the last six months, I would read it and… it felt like you were there again. I didn't want to let that feeling go."

"What do you mean?" Reid wondered.

This was one memory that didn't come back on its own. "When we were together the first time… you were really nervous about us being together, so… we went really slowly, trying to get more comfortable with each other. We had started sleeping in the same bed and… well, one night we got into my bed and… I read The Masque of the Red Death until you fell asleep. It very peaceful and… intimate. I missed that.

Reid's expression was impassive. He looked to Emily inquisitively, like he were studying her. It went on for the longest time before, at last, Reid took his book and handed it back to her.

"You keep it." Reid said softly, placing it in her hands. "Maybe… we could do that again soon."

With a perfect smile, Emily accepted the book, clutching it to her chest as a child would. They couldn't stand here like that. It wouldn't be a surprise is someone was already watching them. The two continued without a word, reaching their desks.

Reid set his bags down and quickly claimed his chair, pulling the few items out of his In Box. Emily went to do the same, but froze just before she sat, her eyes landing on something odd on her desk.

Just like before, her desk looked just as she had left it. Except, however, for a long white velvet glove. That was even stranger than the first time she saw it. At first, Emily believed it had been the first one. Quickly, she grabbed her bag and began to search. Every pocket turned up nothing until finally she pulled it out of a little pouch on the side. It was hopelessly wrinkled now, from three weeks of solitude in there. Stretching it out, Emily compared the two. They were exactly the same… a perfect pair.

"What is that?" Reid asked, she having caught his attention.

In all honesty, Emily didn't know. She wanted to say that, but something clutched at her from the inside. This was no one's business but hers, Reid did not need to be bothered by this.

"Just a prank. She answered, quickly snatching both gloves and shoving them into her bag once again.

"It doesn't seem that funny." Reid said, seriously. He could sense something troubled Emily about those gloves, though he didn't know what.

"No," She shook her head, "It's not, just something stupid. Uh…" She stood up, grabbing her bags. Those files in her In Box could wait until morning. "I'm ready to go, what about you?"

"Actually, I'm going to pass on dinner." Reid said, standing up as well. "I have some errands I have to run before it gets too late."

"Oh," Emily said sadly. She'd been looking forward to spending a little time with him, even if it was in front of their friends. "I could go with you."

"No," Reid shook his head. "It wouldn't interest you, but… dinner tomorrow night? My place?"

Her disappointment turned into joy as she smiled. "Absolutely, can I bring anything?"

"Just you," And with that, Reid took the risk and quickly pecked a kiss on Emily's cheek. Without a look back or another word, he hurried out and headed to the elevators.

Nervously, Emily looked around, but let out a sigh of relief. No one had seen a thing.


	12. Like a Virgin

"_Approaching right turn"_ The GPS system ordered. Emily obeyed and turned on her signal, pausing at the stop sign. The street was empty and, smoothly, she turned continuing on her way.

Emily hadn't been to Reid's new place yet. She was looking forward to seeing it. Since they had started dating again – and discovered how Reid had been pining for her all these years – she felt a little guilty she hadn't taken the time to get to know him even better than she did, and that including spending more time in his space. Things were different now, and Emily intended to spend as much time in Reid's world as possible, and in turn, let him into hers.

"_Approaching destination on the right_." Her GPS ordered. Emily could spot the monstrous building. It was much larger than his old place, no doubt built sometime at the beginning of the last century. Perhaps that was something that appealed to Reid, the history of the structure.

Switching off the GPS, Emily chose a spot on the street to park. It was after six, meaning parking was free. Turning off the engine, Emily flipped her visor down and opened the lighted mirror.

She looked exceptional tonight, if she did say so herself. Emily wore a dress this time. A stunning black one, slightly low cut with shortened sleeves. Reid had seen her in this dress once before, though even with his amazing memory, she doubted he would remember. That was the night he met Austin, after all.

At that thought, Emily felt a bit of jealousy. She knew Reid had former girlfriends, though Austin was the only one she herself had met. Just the thought of any former flame made her despise each and every one of them, mostly because they were able to see right away what took Emily so many years to.

It didn't matter, though. Those girls were out of Spencer Reid's life and she was here and she wasn't going anywhere if she could help it. She was the one he'd been pining for all these years, and that made her special.

Her hair sleek and perfect, her makeup flawless, Emily closed the visor and stepped out of the car, shutting the door and locking it with a honk. She slipped the keys in her purse among her gun and badge and threw the strap over her shoulder. In her other hand, despite his orders, was a small gift bag. A little gesture she knew he'd like. With a deep, calming breath, Emily headed onto the sidewalk, her heels clicking on the pavement with each step.

Looking up at the building, there were dozens of lights on. Emily wondered which one was Reid's, if his apartment even faced the street. She'd find out in a minute, however, and stepped up to the front stoop. It took a moment, but she found his name beside the button indicating his new home. With a perfect manicured nail, Emily reached for the buzzer.

* * *

><p>A tiny flash of flame sparked to life in Reid's hand. Carefully, he held the lit match over each of the wicks, lighting the long stemmed candles. The blazed to life, completely the intimate dinner he arranged on the coffee table. He would much rather be seated with Emily properly in a dining room, but the closest he had to that was the small rickety one in the kitchen. This would have to do.<p>

Dinner was close to being done. The distinct smell of the food filtered through the apartment. Reid had to admit, he was rather proud of himself. No, it wasn't a complicated gourmet meal, but he had made it himself from scratch. He just hoped Emily would like it.

As he headed back to the kitchen, the buzzer sounded. Someone was here. Rushing to the door, he pressed the call button. "Hello?" He asked, hoping he didn't sound too eager.

"It's me," Emily's voice sounded through the intercom.

"Come on up," Reid called, and pressed the button to unlock the door. He hurried to the kitchen to finish cooking. She was right on time.

Emily made it up to the seventh floor and headed down the hall, counting each numbered door as she passed it. Right next to the fire escape, just as he said, sat room 719. She wasn't sure what to expect on the other side of that door, but she couldn't wait to find out. Reid never failed to surprise her. She knocked softly and waited.

A moment later, Reid opened the door. "Hi," He smiled, but that was all he managed to get out. His eyes scanned her up and down, from her black strapped heels, up her slender legs donned in nylon to the sexy black dress wrapping around her elegant body. She smiled at him with moist, sexy red lips that made him want to forget there was a whole dinner and dessert to be had.

"Either you like my outfit or you just had a stroke." Emily teased, her white teeth glistening against the color of her lips.

"It might be both," Reid mentioned. "Oh, you look even better than the first time you wore that."

Emily stepped into the apartment, watching as Reid closed the door. "You… remember the first time I wore this?"

"Of course I do," Reid said with a smile. Always the gentleman, he took her purse, hanging it on the coat rack behind her. "On that case in Atlanta… I could hardly keep my eyes off you that night, I had to stay at least fifty feet away from you so as not to turn into a dribbling mess.

"Well," She held out her arms in a flashy, presenting way, "You can look all you want now."

"Yeah," was all Reid could mutter and with that, stepped up to give her a gentle kiss. Emily hummed slightly into it, having missed his lips greatly over the last few days. His hand lightly stroked her waist as he pulled away. A simple touch that would have to be enough for the time being.

At that, Emily gave her own once over to the young man and had to stop herself before she burst out laughing. She smirked, stifling her laughter. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," She said through her giggles. "It's just… you look awfully cute in that apron."

Blushing, Reid gave a smile. "After I slaved over a hot stove for you."

She laughed wholeheartedly at that and Reid couldn't help but join her. Taking her hand, Reid led her over to the living room where the lovely table was set, the candles releasing a gentle fragrance into the air.

"Oh, this looks lovely," Emily said as she spotted the display. She met Reid's eyes with such love and gratitude. "You didn't have to go to all this trouble."

"It was no trouble at all," Reid said. "Why don't you have a seat and I'll bring dinner in."

"Oh," Emily said, having almost forgotten. She handed him the little bag. "This is for you."

"I told not to bring anything." He said a bit sternly, not accepting the bag.

"I know, but I wanted to." She insisted he take the present. "It's just my way of saying how much I adore all the wonderful things since you've done since we started dating … even when you just steal a glance at me in the conference room, you have no idea how special that makes me feel. I wanted to do something nice for you."

He had to oblige. Reid took the bag and peered inside. Surprised, he removed the bundle and read over the label.

"This is my favorite coffee in the world." Reid said, stunned and delighted. "I thought you could only get it in Manhattan."

"I thought so too, but I called the distributor to see if there was a closer place. There's a small, hole in the wall coffee shop next to a farmer's market in Maryland that sells it, so when I went on my consult to Baltimore today I… took a little side trip."

"Emily, this…" There really were no words to describe what that meant to him. Instead of stumbling through a sentence, he wrapped his arms around her and held her close, pressing a kiss on his cheek.

"A man can't help but fall very hard for you, Emily Prentiss." He whispered in her ear.

She was breathless a moment, clinging to him in return. "I know the feeling." She sighed, practically smothering herself in him.

As he released her, he gave her a smile. "You relax, I'll be in with dinner in a moment."

She agreed, claiming a seat on the couch. Reid hurried off to the kitchen, leaving her alone. She grabbed the nearby bottle of wine and poured a glass for herself and Reid, anxious to see what this highly anticipated dinner would be.

Alone now, Emily took the opportunity to look around the room. The walls were almost completely lined with shelves, most of which held volume upon volume of books, varying from different widths and sizes. There was a fireplace against one wall, but it wasn't lit. It was bit warm tonight, being summer and all. Emily thought it would be perfect in winter, when it snowed and the frozen chill claimed the air. It would be nice then to snuggle close to him before the warmth of a bright fire.

She took a sip of her wine and sat back on the comfortable couch, listening to the music. It was a soft classic piece, playing from an iPod stereo on the mantle. She wondered what it was called. Sure enough, Reid would be able to tell her every aspect about it. It was peaceful and slow and very relaxing, seeming perfect for a romantic dinner. He certainly had good taste.

A few minutes later, Reid gave an order for Emily to close her eyes. She obeyed diligently, impatiently waiting in her own darkness. She had never taken commands so willingly from a man before, just another sign how much she trusted and cared for him. After all, she'd put her life in his hands so many times, perhaps trusting him with her heart wasn't so different.

Reid had removed the apron and brought all the food and utensils in. He stood before Emily, taking one more minute to drink in her beauty before he gave the order. "Alright… open your eyes."

Slowly, her beautiful brown eyes sparkled in the candlelight and she looked before her. There were two large metal pots seated on the table. Around them were several plates with different pieces of bit size breads and vegetables and chunks of meat.

"What's this?" Emily asked, intrigued.

Reid carefully took the seat beside her on the couch. "I thought you might enjoy fondue."

"I love fondue!" Emily exclaimed with joy. "We used to eat this all the time in college."

"So you like it?" He asked.

"I love it, it's the perfect idea!" She cried. "You really are a genius."

"Well… I'm not much of a cook," He confessed shyly, "but I wanted to make you a romantic dinner. It was a bit of a quandary."

"Oh, Spencer," Emily said, resting her hand on his cheek. She carefully turned it so as to see those beautiful hazel eyes of his. "I would have been happy with a Dominos Pizza. This means more to me than I could say, I love it."

Just as he had done a moment ago, she pressed a kiss to his cheek, causing him to blush. "Well," He said, a bit bashful. He reached to grab one of the long forks and handed it to her. "Dig in."

Emily eagerly took her fork and chose a piece of bread as Reid lifted the lid off the two pots, one of cheese and one of hot oil. Together, they dove into the food, partaking in the wonderful meal.

"I can't remember the last time a man made dinner," Emily mentioned as she dunked and swirled a large piece of steak.

Reid reached for his wine, watching her with intent for a moment. She looked so elegant; he could hardly believe she was dressed so beautifully for him. It still seemed impossible that this was happening. Even after three weeks, he still expected he'd wake up in the hospital and find this was some anesthetic induced delusion. If it was, he wasn't so sure he could ever go back to that life of solitude. All alone, from dusk till dawn and dusk once again.

As he drank some wine, he set his glass aside and grabbed his fork again. "So… I'm curious about something."

"What's that?" Emily mentioned, trying to decide what to dunk next. She seemed almost like a little kid, getting to play with her food while she ate.

He wasn't so sure he should open this door. It could reveal something very unflattering that he wasn't too proud of, but he had to know. They could be together for the rest of their lives, he'd still be desperate to know the truth.

"What did I say to you to… convince you to go out with me?" He asked. "The first time, I mean… I didn't know you and you must have been cautious around me… yet something changed that made you want to… throw caution to the winds, if you will."

"Well, that's kind of a long story." Emily answered. "From the very beginning, when we first met in the hospital… you felt a connection to me. I guess, it's obvious now, something in your brain remembered how you felt, but I didn't know that. Nothing really triggered it, but you managed to attach yourself to me." She met his eyes with a smile. "You were my friend and I missed you. You were so distant with everyone… so when you started to reach out to me, I enabled you, thanks to Rossi's encouragement."

"Really?" Reid was curious about that. "I wonder why he did that."

"I think he was just as anxious to acclimate you back with the team." Emily said as she absentmindedly stirred some bread in the melted cheese, thinking back. "Oh… for the rest of my life, I will never forget the first you changed in my eyes… it was on the dance floor." She sighed with a soft nostalgic smile. "You'd never looked at me like that before… it was the first time I saw what beautiful eyes you have."

She looked over to meet his eyes again. "We spent a little time together and… I brought you to one of my favorite places… the ice skating rink… That's where we had our first kiss… and my life was never the same."

"I think I remember that a little," He answered. "I knocked you over afterwards, didn't I?"

Letting out a delighted chortle, she nodded. "We laughed like crazy about that. Anyway, um, long story short, the next week we took a drive and discussed what to do about this." She paused a moment, almost struggling to breath, the emotions were so powerful. "I will never forget what you said to me that night. You didn't know if what you felt were old feelings or new, you just knew you wanted me… now I know how deep your feelings went."

Reid was enchanted by the story, envious of his alter ego. That man had managed to do in a few weeks what he never would have had the guts to do before.

"Emily, I know I put you through a lot," He said softly, his hand resting on her stocking knee, his fingers tickling her inner thigh. "I feel terrible to… twist you with those feelings and then suddenly disappear, not even remembering it for the longest time. I know you've endured a lot on your own, I know you must have been incredibly lonely, because I've been that lonely for you for so long… but I have to say, I'm not sorry it happened. If it hadn't… I don't think I ever would have been able to tell you how I feel."

To his relief, she smiled, "I'm not sorry, either. It really opened my eyes to who you are and how well we fit together. I hated going through it and there were times, I was sure I had lost you forever, that I was always going to be lost and miserable… but it's over now. And it was worth it."

Reid reached over to press a delicate kiss on her, just shy of her lips. Emily smiled at the innocent kiss. She wanted to pull him to her and plant the hardest kiss she could on his soft, sweet lips, to pull him into her arms and demand he finally make love to her. She ached for him so much and every affection gesture he made, big or small, made her need him more.

They went back to their dinner, however, eating and talking pleasantly. Were it not for the romantic setting, it would almost seem like old times. Just two friends hanging out over a delicious meal. Neither could understand how they'd gotten so lucky as to fall in love with their best friend.

After dinner, Reid brought out a third pot which brought the brightest smile to Emily's face, as he knew it would. It was filled with melted Swiss chocolate and he'd brought out pieces of fruit and shortbread cookies to dip.

Emily abandoned the fork as well as her manners, dipping each piece with her fingers. Reid couldn't help but laugh. She was just too adorable, always desperate for a chocolaty fix.

"Here," Emily said, removing a drenched strawberry. "This is my absolute favorite dessert."

His face was turning red again as he grinned, opening his mouth to let her feed him the saturated berry. He let out a hum of approval as he ate the delicious treat, swallowing it slowly. His tongue lapped up the tips of her fingers, savoring the intoxicating taste her flesh made with the cocoa.

Emily practically had to wrench her hand away, Reid did not want to let it go. He decided to repay the favor, dipping a shortbread cookie into the sauce, and offered it to her.

He almost blacked out at the sight of her eyes falling closed and her crimson mouth parting slightly to devour the treat. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat for a moment as he delicately fed it to her, watching her chew it leisurely. She let out a breathless sigh at the taste, swallowing it almost in slow motion.

She pressed a kiss to his fingertips as she opened her eyes. He was staring at her with a hungry fascination that no amount of chocolate and strawberries could ever satisfy.

"Did I mention this was a truly wonderful dinner?" She asked, her eyes glossy with arousal.

Reid looked away, clearing his throat. "I'm glad you enjoyed it," He said, standing up. "I'd better get this cleaned up."

She was stunned as he started gathering up the table, taking everything back to the kitchen. How could he do this, it was the perfect moment. All he had to do was kiss her and she was his for the entire night. For the rest of their lives, more like.

Emily was becoming very disturbed by this. Either he wanted to drive her crazy or he just wasn't as attracted to her as he thought. She considered grabbing her purse and slipping out before he returned from the kitchen. Give him some time to think about he really wanted. Had it been any other man, she wouldn't even have to consider the idea, she'd already be halfway out the door… but Reid was worth too much to her push away like this. The way his mind worked, she couldn't just lump him with the jerks and jackasses she'd dated.

Instead of leaving, she simply disobeyed his orders. She stood and started gathering the plates and napkins from the table, carrying them into the next room.

The kitchen was a bit of a mess, no doubt from his hours trying to put this dinner together. Reid was rinsing some things to go into the dishwasher. Emily set the plates beside him on the counter, and he looked up surprised.

"You don't have to do anything, Emily," He said with gratitude and surprise.

"It's okay, I want to help." She said, faking a bit of a smile, still a bit hurt that he pulled away from her, when he had every green to make a move. "You made such a wonderful meal, at least let me repay you by helping you clean up."

Reid smiled at that, and she noticed he was wearing the apron again. It removed some of the rejected feeling, bringing out a chuckle. "You do look cute in that," and reached up to kiss his cheek."

He watched her as she walked out of the kitchen. He wanted to move slowly this evening, have a little dancing and talking after dinner; enjoy each other's company for awhile, but maybe he should cut those short… and get to what he ultimately had planned.

Emily set the glasses on the counter and Reid quickly rinsed them, setting them in the washer and starting the load. He removed the annoying apron, watching as she folded the soiled napkins, ready to be thrown into a load of wash.

"I'm glad you enjoyed the dinner." Reid said as he set the apron aside. "It means a lot to me that you had a good time."

"I did," She said slowly, setting the napkins on the counter. "You melt chocolate like no man I knew before, Spencer Reid."

She expected they would be heading back into the living room. Reid didn't seem to want her to leave yet, but she had no idea what was going through his head. "I was meaning to ask you what music-"

Suddenly, she was caught off guard. Reid had grabbed her, like he was pulling her away from the edge of a cliff, wrapping her in his arms. He met her lips at once, not even giving time for her to protest as they moved into a kiss. Emily sighed from the power of it, the supremacy shattering every nerve in her body. Her heart started pounding so hard, she feared it would burn out from pounding so hard and fast.

The kiss didn't end within a few seconds, either. He hung onto her, his hands exploring her curves lightly while his tongue dominated her mouth, memorizing every inch and crevice about it. She sighed again, allowing her own tongue to dance with his, moving in perfect harmony.

He'd brought her body against his and she could feel the pulsing heat inside him. It was familiar and new at the same time. She'd been there, she'd felt this body moving in tandem with hers, but the man was different. This was the intelligent, caring, unique person she'd known for years… who knew what he could make this body do… nor what it could do to hers.

She gasped as at last, he released their kiss, pulling away. She was shaking with excitement and, surprisingly, a little bit of fear. He'd made her feel like a virgin all over again.

He stared deeply into her eyes, like he were trying to manipulate her mind. She wasn't so sure he couldn't. Emily knew Reid was not going to walk away from her tonight. His hand reached up to brush the hair off her face, his hot breath panting on her burning skin.

"Emily," He whispered, resting his brow upon hers. "May I take you to my bedroom?"

She knew he meant to be mannerly, but hearing him ask for permission in such a hot and heavy voice made her throb with desire for him. "Yes," she uttered in a hush.

Without another word, Reid moved from her. In a flash, he swept her off her feet. A gasp of surprise came from her as he scooped her in his arms. She wrapped hers around his neck as they met in another kiss. Without any hesitation or struggle, Reid carried her from the kitchen, through his apartment, and into the safety of his bedroom.

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><p>AN: I know, it's about time. Lots of good stuff coming up, including the next chapter which might be a little more M rated. Just a warning, I don't want to offend anyone. I got a great response when I wrote it in Let it Snow, so I thought it might be fun to do in this story, too. :)


	13. She's Mine

A/N: As I said, this chapter has more of an M rating, a lot more intense than the last story. If it offends you, just skip down to the page break. Please review either way, though, they really mean a lot to me! :)

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><p>It was finally happening. Their kiss never broke once until they made it into the bedroom. She didn't even give a thought to taking a look around the room, to see how her friend was presented on the walls of the most important area of his home. All she cared about was the man carrying her and the sensual night to come.<p>

Gently, Reid laid her on the bed. He fluidly moved with her, never breaking their kiss for more than a quick replenish of oxygen. He sat on the bed next to her, her body laying for him like a sacrifice to the gods.

Emily broke away from him, desperate for more air. She was getting lightheaded and looked up to meet his eyes. Her hand ran up into his hair, savoring the silky strands between her fingers. "And here I was beginning to think you didn't want to be with me."

He let out a gasp of astonishment and moved to press a kiss to her cheek, moving to her ear. His steamy breath blew against it as he whispered, "How could honestly think that? You are the most marvelous woman I have ever seen. You are so beautiful, artists would kill to be able to paint your gorgeous face…" He moved down to kiss below her ear, nibbling and sucking on the patch of flesh. "You're passionate and sexy… how could I not want you?"

Reid sat up to look at her, his hand running over her cheek. Her eyes were droopy and dazed, beginning to lose control. "I've wanted you for so long, Emily…" He panted, "You have no idea what this means to me."

He was right, she didn't. She may have missed him for a long time, but it didn't compare to the torch he'd been carrying all this time. At that, she sat up, placing her hands to cup his cheeks. Emily placed a soft kiss to his lips, pulling away with a thirst in her body that only he could quench. "Make love to me, Spencer." She ordered

He needed no more permission than that. Reid collapsed his lips on hers, feeding the burning fire in inside him. His hands wandered along her body, along her torso and past her hips. She reached for the buttons of his shirt, but he pulled away. His lips dragged down her throat to her chest where he place soft, butterfly kisses on tops of her breasts. Emily buried his fingers in hair as he lingered there a moment, listening to her heartbeat, the only solid proof that this was real.

Moving down, his hands snuck under the fabric of her black dress. Their eyes met as his fingers found the tops of her nylons, they delicately grazed the skin of her thighs and Emily couldn't help but lean back out let out a moan.

"You're teasing me again," She sighed with a smile.

"Tell me you don't love it," He said and with that, the evil grin reappeared, making Emily quiver with anticipation. One finger quickly traced the hem line of panties, pulling away just as fast. At the feel, she let out another breathy moan, closing her eyes for a moment.

His hands were suddenly gone and she reopened her eyes to see. Reid was kneeling on the end of the bed, slipping the sexy heels off her feet. He tossed them aside, a loud clunk echoing with each fall. Her one foot pressed on the soft black and white bedspread, feeling much more comfortable. If she felt that good just from losing her shoes, it should be phenomenal once she was finally naked… though considering how slow he was going, that could take awhile. As anxious as she was, Emily was in no rush.

Reid lifted her other leg, pressing a kiss right on the ball of her foot. Her toes curled, tickling the tip of his nose and he snickered. Emily bit her lip tantalizingly as she watched him.

He pushed her legs apart to kneel between them, laying the one over his shoulder. He reached under her dress again and massaged her inner thigh, pulling soft, desperate whimpers out of her. Grabbing the fabric, he began to peel away the stocking. He slid it down her thigh, past her knee and easily stripped it from her leg. He tossed it aside with the other and went to do the exact same to the other. Her legs bare around him, Reid caressed his hands along the smooth, supple skin. Emily relished his touch, fueling the fire smoldering inside her.

She moved her legs off him and sat up, reaching to pull him into another kiss. Emily reached for the buttons on his shirts, opening them as fast as her shaking fingers would let her, trying to fight the urge to just rip it into pieces, like The Incredible Hulk.

He shrugged it aside and leaned away long enough to remove his t-shirt on his own. Their lips met again, their kisses becoming harder and more frantic. Moving down to his pants, Emily found his belt buckle, unfastening it.

"You're in quite a scurry, aren't you?" Reid joked with a grin.

"Six months, Spencer!" Emily groaned with wide eyes as she pushed his corduroys down. "I haven't had sex in six months. You might not do this very often, but I have needs that desperately need to be met."

With that, he hooked his arms under Emily's legs and pulled her flat on her back and moved to straddle her. "Allow me to oblige, my lady."

He kissed along her exposed skin again, this time his hands giving gentle strokes along her breasts. Emily was aching to feel skin on skin, the contact barely giving her any relief through all this fabric. Reid moved down again to the hem of her dress, guiding it up slowly. Sitting up, she raised her arms to let him lift it over her head, her hair wisped around her from the static electricity.

Before the dress even hit the floor, his mouth was on hers again, his hands beginning to explore the exposed flesh of her body. She moaned and sighed into his mouth and he grinned, knowing she was begging for even just a little relief. She lied back down again, fixing him with hungry, lust filled eyes.

Reid paused for a moment, taking in the sight before him. This beautiful, alabaster goddess was spread before him, her ivory skin highlighting the lace of her Caribbean blue bra, a perfect match to her panties. She stared at him with a wanton longing, writhing lightly to entice him, silently begging him to take her any way he wanted.

So many times, he imagined this, fantasized this, begged his mind to stop picturing her lying before him on his bed half naked, aching for him. Reid was not a man who simply wanted to have his way with the woman of his desires; he wanted it to mean as much to her. He wanted her to want him just as badly… he was so afraid something was going to ruin it. His cell would ring or someone would come to the door with an emergency… or worse, he was about to wake up.

A lesser man would have given in by now, Emily knew. Seeing him look at her like that, like a sinful man who suddenly found salvation, made her feel so beautiful. She would have loved to stay here and let him stare at her until his heart's content, but the fire inside her and the wetness pooling between her thighs was getting to be too much. A glance at his briefs told her he was just as anxious as her. How he was able to keep so calm seemed impossible.

"Please, Spencer," She said, using her own hands to stroke her breasts through the lace. "I need you… I need you here…"

He let out a low groan from the sight of her touch herself because of him. He moved between her legs again. Reid ghosted over her body until he was right above, staring down into her glazed brown eyes. "I love hearing you beg for me." He sighed.

"Please…" She loudly moaned, breathing with a bit of relief as he began kissing her neck. "I'm so hot for you… I can't take it anymore Spencer, I need you…"

As he began to move to her chest, his hands pushed to move underneath her, running along the fabric to search for his destination, quickly turning frantic when he couldn't find it. He let out a few frustrated sighs as he continued to look.

"Emily…" He muttered. "I can't find the clasp."

"It hooks in the front," She giggled, lifting her hips to press against his growing erection. He let out a groan as he struggled to keep his composure, pulling up in order to undo each snap of her bra. The garment fell away, revealing his torso for his full view.

"Oh my God, you're so beautiful," He moaned. "How could I not remember this?"

And with that, his mouth latched onto her nipple, giving her such sweet bliss. She let out a long, satisfied cry, the sensation running through her.

He kept his focus on her breasts for a long time, from one to the other, her fingers running through her hair. After a moment, he pulled away, pressing gentle kisses down her stomach, right to the top of her panty line. Emily watched as his tongue darted under the hemline for just a second before he sat up, his hands resting on her hips.

Their eyes met for a moment before Reid began to pull her panties down. Her whole body vibrated with eagerness, gasping as at last her final piece of clothing was removed, tossed aside with the rest. Carefully, his hands on her knees, he spread her legs apart, revealing the most intimate part of her.

He said nothing this time, completely speechless as he took her in. She stared at him with such compassion as he gazed at the beauty he had just uncovered. Without a word, his mouth was on her again, relieving even more pressure than before.

"Oh, God!" Emily cried as she reveled in the feel of his dominating tongue, claiming her as he'd done to her mouth earlier. Her pants and moans mixed with the repeated cries out to the Lord, the pleasure building inside her with every second.

"Spencer…" She cried out. "You have to stop… I… oh, God… I can't hold it…"

"Don't," He called, pulling away to press a kiss on her inner thigh. "I want you to let go."

She felt him return to her center, his skillful tongue continuing his work. Emily obliged to him, losing herself in the feel. After another moment of passion, Emily screamed his name, spasming around him violently.

As she began to relax, she felt Reid bring her into a passionate kiss. She forced herself to focus in order to gain control of her limbs, at last opening her eyes to look at him. He was grinning happily at her, pleased at the response she gave him.

Eyeing his familiar body up and down, she saw he was unfairly clad in his briefs and she quickly went to rectify the situation. Reid allowed her to take control for a moment, feeling her kisses fall along his chest, her tongue swiping along around of his skin. She reached up to kiss the crook of his shoulder, a spot she had learned last time caused him to hiss and squeal with pleasure, intensifying to sensation.

She pushed the briefs down and leaned back to take in his naked body once again. His form was just as beautiful as she remembered, every muscle aching for the woman beside him. How he'd managed to go so slowly and focus on her was a mystery.

She wanted to repay him for his delicious attention, moving to press innocent kisses on his abdomen as she moved further down. Her tongue took a sweep through his navel, moving to press kiss after kiss on the line of reddish brown hair trailing down.

Before she even got close, Reid pulled her away, laying her back on her pillow. "Don't," He whispered.

"But I want to," She leered, her hand sliding to his inner thigh and feeling him twitch with enthusiasm. "I want to taste you, too. I've never done that before."

"And I would love that," He breathed against her skin, pressing a kiss to her collar bone. "But I need you, too, Emily… I can't wait any longer."

She let out a light sob at his confession and felt the desire in her begin to rise again. They met in another long, earth-shattering kiss, her leg reaching up to rest against his waist. He let out a low moan as her toe tickled the back of his thigh. She giggled in return.

Reid sat up enough to reach over her and get to his bedside table. Emily pressed her lips to his chest, suckling and nibbling on his skin. She could feel his heart beating, thudding like the wings of a humming bird under her lips.

Reid pulled back with a condom and expertly pulled it on. His eyes found hers and they smiled in unison… this was it.

Emily slowly lay back down and Reid moved with. He settled between her legs again, holding back for just a few seconds longer. His hesitation filled Emily with such apprehension, once again feeling like some innocent virgin. They met in a gentle kiss, her hand brushing his cheek and, at last, he pushed himself forward, joining them together.

She leaned back to let out a long, thankful moan. Reid's eyes slipped shut as he savored the feel. After so long, she was finally his; body, mind, and soul.

They moved in perfect harmony together, seeming to know exactly what the other wanted. It was more than the recollection of a previous encounter. Spencer and Emily shared a connection that went much deeper than memory or history, one that outlasted more than six months, even more than five years. A connection that seemed to be as strong and intense as their very lives on earth.

"Yes…" Emily exhaled, her back beginning to arch as she wrapped her legs around him. "Oh, Spencer, yes… right there."

Reid responded with a loud groan, his hand slipping down between them to her most intimate spot, getting a loud squeal from her in return. "Emily… so good… you're absolutely perfect…"

All she could respond with was moan after moan, the heavenly pressure gathering inside her, like water behind a dam… with every thrust, she grew closer and closer, the massage of his slim, nimble fingers guiding her along the way.

Her cries began to mix with heavy curses, her body barely able to handle the incredible sensation, and yet she needed more. His one arm moved away from her to hook under her thigh, lifting it so as to get even deeper inside her. She groaned in both pleasure and pain, the sound drowned out by his blissful groan.

"Spencer…ah… yes…" She sighed, so lost in the feel; she couldn't even hear what she was screaming. "Yes… that's it… oh, I'm almost there…"

It was upon her. Reid latching onto the pulse point of her throat pushed her to the edge. Her back arched like a bow and she screamed, sharp and loud, as her climax claimed her. He felt the vibration of her screams as he continued to suckle her neck. She had no control over herself at all. Sight and sound left her, her entire body contracted and seized insanely in his embrace. Her fingernails dug into the flesh of his back, pulling a struggled groan out of him.

It was so intense, and Reid couldn't hold back any longer. His instincts took control and thrust into her like an unbroken stallion. His head buried into her shoulder as he drowned himself in this gorgeous creature. Finally, he found the sweet relief of his own climax. He smothered himself in her heavy scented flesh, savoring the sweet and painful pleasure.

After a moment, he came back to reality and gently eased himself out of her body. After removing the condom, he eased his exhausted body beside her and collapsed onto the mattress. Reid buried his face in the moist flesh of her neck, struggling to catch his breath. Only then did he notice they were both drenched in sweat.

In a second, his motor function returned and Reid sat up. He spotted Emily with her eyes squeezed shut as tears leaked down her face, she quieted her sobs with her hand pressed over her mouth.

He was immediately terrified. Reid reached to put his arm around her, trying to hide the fear he had hurt her. "Oh, God, Emily, are you alright?"

"Are you… k-kidding me?" She stuttered, opening her eyes to find his. "That was… the most amazing experience of my life."

Reid couldn't stop the smile on his face if his life depended on it. "I bet you say that to all the guys." He teased, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

"No… I really don't." She answered and through her tears, she let out a laugh as she began to calm down. "Spencer, that was… oh, my God, I can't even describe…"

"It wasn't very good last time?" He asked, a little embarrassed.

"Spencer," She said, rolling over so she could look at him directly. "Please don't get me wrong, last time was wonderful. It was… sweet and gentle and innocent… what made it so good was because we were two people discovering each other… it was good… but it was nothing compared to tonight. No offense, but I never expected this from you."

Reid gave a modest expression. "Well… when you've thought about it every night for five years, you tend to have every detail of your greatest fantasy worked out…" He sighed. "And even then, it's still nothing like I ever dreamed."

Last time, she had told him she loved him, and if Reid were to say that again, she probably would have given in. Emily couldn't do that yet, though, not on her own. She couldn't just admit to him and herself that she was indeed in love with Spencer. It was so much more powerful than last time… so much more real.

"I never want this night to end," She sighed happily.

"Me, neither." Reid said with a smile. "If we lived in Alaska, we could have a night together lasting an entire month."

She let out a snort. "There's no way you could last that long."

That infamous devilish smile appeared and, in a flash, Reid moved to roll her over, pinning her arms over her head. "I'm very willing to take that bet, Emily."

He leaned down and met her in a long kiss, the perfect gateway to another round of passionate lovemaking. She was so taken by his sudden dominance. Emily had a feeling there was a lot of mystery to this man, and she was going to love every minute discovering it.

* * *

><p>Emily maneuvered her way through the dark kitchen. She wore nothing but the shirt she'd stripped off Reid earlier tonight, covering her figure to the tops of her thighs. Her bare feet were chilled against the tile floor. At last, she reached the refrigerator. The light from inside spilled out to illuminate the room, burning her eyes for a moment. They adjusted in a moment and she searched for something to drink. Spotting a large carton of orange juice, she grabbed it and opened it, taking a long swig straight from the container.<p>

"That's very unsanitary." Reid said as he came in a second later, wearing a pair of pajama pants and ratty yellow t-shirt. "Do you have an idea how many germs can pass from one person to another that way?"

She swallowed and sighed from the relief of quenching her thirst. "You didn't mind my germs a few minutes ago." She teased as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

With a smile, he moved up behind her, wrapping his arms around her middle and holding her close. He pressed a few kisses just below her ear, pulling a light squeal out of her.

"I'm starving," He muttered against her ear.

"I'm not surprised." She mentioned, setting the carton back into the fridge. Her eyes scanned over the contents of the well stocked fridge. She was curious whether it always looked like this or was it merely for her benefit.

"There's a Chinese place on the corner, opened 24 hours." Reid said, his hands lingering at the hem of the shirt, lightly brushing her supple leg. "We could order in."

"Hmm," Emily hummed. She had something better in mind. "How about instead I repay you for that lovely dinner and make you my special scrambled eggs. You loved them when you were staying with me."

Reid considered that a moment. He didn't even know Emily could cook. "That sounds delicious, I would love that."

With a smile, she turned and put her arms around him, pulling him into a kiss. Reid moaned lightly as if her kiss was the most delicious thing he ever tasted. He pulled her so close to him, it was like he was trying to absorb her through his skin.

As it ended, she almost had to force herself to pull apart from him. "Okay, I need a frying pan, a mixing bowl, and a whisk."

"Coming up," Reid said, going to follow her orders. He stopped for a moment. "What's a whisk?"

"Oh my goodness, you mean there's something Spencer Reid doesn't know!" She exclaimed. "It's a spoon that's made of spiraling wires… if you don't have one, a fork will work just fine."

"I think I have one of those." Reid said, and pecked a light kiss on her forehead before going off to fetch the items. Emily pulled the eggs and milk and extra ingredients out of the fridge, ready to set to work.

Reid made the coffee Emily had brought for him while she cooked, watching her every move as she moved around his kitchen. God, she was beautiful. Her hair was a mess, framing her flushed face. She looked absolutely spectacular in his shirt.

"What are staring at?" She asked as she poured the egg mixture into the hot pan.

"Just contemplating an anomaly." He said, nonchalant.

Confused, she looked back at him with interest. "What?"

He smiled, "How it is that you look so much better in my clothes than I do."

"Because you look much better with your clothes off, Dr. Reid." She explained with a raise of her eyebrows, and returned to her cooking.

"Yeah…" He said, his smile faded and he hung his head. "Only if the lights are off."

She paused for a moment, trying to figure out if she heard him right. "Why would you say that, Spencer? You have a gorgeous body, I said that the first time I laid eyes on it."

"I didn't have all these scars then, did I?" He muttered, and turned back to the coffee. He went about to pull down some mugs, but it was really just a way to avoid her gaze.

Emily stared at him in shock, turning off the burner on the gas stove. She set the eggs aside; they could finish cooking in a minute. Walking up behind him, a gentle hand caressed along his cotton back.

"Spencer," She said gently. "Do you think I give a damn if you have scars all over your body?"

"I certainly do." He mumbled. "I see them every morning in the shower, every time I change my clothes… and they… taunt me… that no matter what I do, my life will never be the same."

He felt her lips press against his back. The pecked him over and over, like the tiny paws of a kitten. "Is that really such a bad thing? I mean… you said it yourself, look at where it brought us."

"I don't regret what happened," Reid said as he turned around. "I love what came out of it… but when I think back to that torture… I feel so vulnerable and lost again… I feel that despair that I'll never see the people I love again… how close I came to losing everyone… especially you. Every time I see these ugly scars, I think about it… every time someone sees them and gives me that pitiful expression, I think about it… I'll never escape from it."

"Is that why you were so reluctant to do this?" Emily wondered.

"No," Reid shook his head. "I wanted to go slowly for your sake, I wanted us to know each other emotionally before physically, it's better that way… but… I was apprehensive about it."

Emily moved closer to him, brushing his tousled hair off his handsome face. "Spencer… what happened to you was not that long ago. It might be a long time before you're able to look at your body and not be haunted by what's written all over it. It's not going to be right away… but it doesn't matter, because when I look at you…" At that, Emily grabbed the bottom of his shirt, lifting it over his head. His torso stood bare before her, with the obvious disfigurements enlightened in the soft light. Her eyes paid better attention to the cuts and mangled scars littered on his lean form, healed but still a bright pink with fresh, baby skin. "I don't see pain… all I see is my best friend, who fought when a weaker person would have given up." She kissed him lightly over one mark, "I see the bravest man I've ever known," She matched that comment with another kiss, "and the most beautiful man to ever stand before me."

Without another word, she kept pressing kiss after kiss to his bare skin. A moan began to rumble in his chest, slowly exhaling out of his body. Her words had soothed him, and knew when he looked at these marks now, he'd smile with affection and nostalgia. Emily thought he was brave and strong, she saw these and thought him beautiful. He wanted to tell her he loved her… but it was too soon. He'd hate it if he moved too fast and scared her away.

Instead of professing his love, he reached down and grabbed her by her arms. In one quick motion, he lifted her up, spinning her to sit on the counter before him. Emily gasped in delight, unaware what had happened until she was seated before him, right at eye level. He met her in a kiss, wrapping his arms around her. He easily settled between her legs, bringing her lithe body right against his.

"Didn't you get enough before?" She asked with an amazed smile, feeling his hand graze her naked thigh to rest on her bare hip.

"I could never get enough of you." He said and moved down to suckle her collar bone. "For the rest of my life… I'm always going to want more."

She hummed with delight, running her hands on his exposed skin. She wasn't sure she'd have the energy to live up to this insatiable man, but if it were the death of her, it would be worth it. Emily gave into him. Her head fell back on the cabinet as she began to lose herself in the moment for yet another time that night.

Reid worked on her neck, right down to the bit of exposed chest below her windpipe. Just as he moved to begin undoing the buttons of her shirt, they both jumped up in surprise. A loud crash was heard somewhere in the distance, rattling both of them.

"What was that?" Emily asked.

"I don't know." Reid said, seriously. Slowly he pulled away, heading to the swinging door. He peered out carefully for a sign of an intruder. When he saw nothing, he looked back at Emily, whispering, "Stay here."

She nodded as she hopped off the counter, watching as he slipped out, wishing her gun wasn't in her purse in the living room.

On tiptoe, Reid walked out into the living room, looking around. There was no sign of anyone, nor anymore noise coming from the apartment. The door was still latched securely, no one had broken in that way. He rushed to small table beside the door, opening the drawer where his gun sat at the ready. He always kept it here until he went to bed, where it remained in his nightstand. Doing what they did for a living, he could never be too careful.

His weapon at the ready, Reid began to move through his apartment, checking every obvious place an intruder might conceal himself. There was no one, and no sign of what made that crash. Considering how far away it sounded, he assumed the noise came from the bedroom.

The door stood open, just as he left it. Reid pushed it open carefully, pointing his gun at every possible angle. He immediately spotted the source of the crash. One window had been shattered, the light chill from the June evening spilling inside. He looked around for someone who had broken in, but he was alone in the room.

"I'm an FBI agent!" Reid called as he carefully stepped into the room, mindful of the glass. "If you don't show yourself, I'll be forced to shoot."

There was no movement. He could hear the distant sounds of the city below, quiet for this time of night. Reid was almost certain there was no one here, but he still was still alert for any movement, cautiously. Among the mess of the glass, he spotted something odd. A large red and white object that seemed to be the source of the shatter. Carefully, Reid walked over, reaching into the mess to pick it up.

It was actually a brick with a note tied around a rubber band. Reid was confused; how could someone throw this into his bedroom window, he lived on the seventh floor. Of course, then he remembered the fire escape was right at that window. Someone could easily climb up that way and have perfect access to his bedroom. Quickly, Reid set his gun on the nightstand, removing the rubber band to pull off the paper.

He set the brick on the bedspread and began to unfold the note. His heart clutched in his chest as he revealed the contents. There were only two large words written in what was obviously blood.

_SHE'S MINE_

Reid tried to ignore the fear go through him. He tried to think maybe this was meant for the wrong person… but it was just too coincidental to arrive right after his first night with Emily.

Until he had further proof, there was no point to bother Emily with it. She was so deliriously happy, a feeling he so rarely saw in her. Folding up the paper, he slipped it into his nightstand for safe keeping. He picked up the brick and his gun and headed back through the apartment.

"What was that?" Emily asked as he finally returned to the kitchen.

Reid showed her the brick and hid his worry with a smile. "Stupid kids climbed up the fire escape."

She breathed with relief at that. "Thank goodness, I was worried. Did they break in? Did they steal anything?"

"Just vandalism." He shook his head, startling himself at how calm he sounded. "I'll clean up the mess now and call my insurance company in the morning. We'll have to sleep on the pull out couch in my study tonight."

She smiled, "No problem. I'll finish cooking while you clean up."

Reid nodded, grabbing her and pulling her into a loving kiss. She smiled as they let go, ignorantly happy. She went back to finish the eggs. Her back to her, he didn't see the worried, fearful expression on his face. He finally had the woman he loved and someone wanted to take her away from him. Reid would not let the happen.

He'd die first.


	14. Change of Plans

"_You'll remember me when the west wind moves among the fields of barley… you can tell the sun in his jealous sky… when we walked in fields of gold…"_

Emily's cheerful mood did not go unnoticed Monday morning, by anyone. In the lobby, she was singing softly to herself while she waited for the elevator, getting curious and annoyed looks from the irritable agents around her. The could look all they wanted. She didn't care what they thought. They weren't in love.

"_So she took her love for to gaze awhile among the fields of barley… in his arms she fell as her hair came down… among the fields of gold…"_

Even the promise of a new case couldn't dampen her spirits. She set her go bag and purse at her desk and leisurely made her way for a cup of coffee. She was still singing and humming as she poured a mug full, slowly stirring cream into the hot liquid. It swirled elegantly with the blackness, like it was dancing to her blissful tune.

"_See the west wind move, like a lover so upon the fields of barley… feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth… among the fields of gold…"_

Morgan and Reid stopped shortly of coming into the break room. They were both stunned at their teammates sudden change in demeanor, though Morgan much more than Reid. He knew why she was so happy, though he was almost in doubt that he could be the cause. Had she not been singing that particular song, he wouldn't have believed it.

That song… he knew that song… at least, he thought so. Reid wasn't sure. It brought him back to a hazy time. A place not quite like a dream, but certainly not in this reality. Like in a world outside of life, surrounding it but never making contact. He'd heard not just that song, but that voice… singing in the distance… and crying. After awhile, he realized it was Emily and she was crying… crying for him… because she loved him. He wasn't sure how he knew she loved him, he just did. Reid needed to get to her. It had been difficult to move, but focusing on her voice made it easier… he just followed it.

He had no idea what it meant, he wasn't even sure if it were real. It did, however, make him feel more connected to this woman than he ever had before, to any person on the planet. Had he not been standing in the BAU right next to Morgan, he would have had no fear. Reid would have told her he loved her.

"You're in a good mood, Prentiss," Morgan said not noticing Reid's reaction to her solo. Emily looked back, startled, not expecting to see both her partner and her secret boyfriend sneaking up on her like this. "I take it you had a good weekend?"

She hesitated a moment before smiling. "In a matter of speaking."

The tone in her voice was just as startling as her singing. He looked at Reid, amazed. "I don't think I've ever seen her so happy on a Monday, have you?"

Reid feigned a sudden curiosity. "No, I can't say I have. I don't think I've… ever heard her singing before."

"Who's the boy, Prentiss?" Morgan asked, point blank.

Stunned, Emily took a moment to answer. "What makes you think there's a man involved?"

"If there's not, you've had a sudden change in sexual preference." He grinned. "Come on, girl, I know the signs. You're singing to yourself, you look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth, you have the attitude on Monday morning I've only seen you hold for Friday afternoons… you've found some man that makes your toes curl. Or woman."

"Guy," She corrected with a roll of her eyes. "It's my own fault for being best friends with profilers."

"Please, Prentiss, I know when someone's falling in love." He indicated. "I do it as often as I can. Now come on, who is he?"

"He's… just a guy," She shrugged. "I've known him for awhile and… well, until recently, he was just a friend, but… I found out that he's had feelings for me for a long time, so we've started dating… he helped me process Rawson's death, we've been getting to know each other… he's just a really great guy, that's all I'm saying."

Letting out an amused scoff, "This is surreal. You've got some star-crossed lover, Reid had a romantic weekend with his mysterious lady friend, and I spent the last three nights alone. If I'm not careful, I'm going to be the one with nothing but books and cats."

Emily had barely heard him, looking to Reid with interest. She didn't think he'd be one to brag to his guy friends about what they'd done. "You're… lady friend?"

Reid opened his mouth to tell her it wasn't how it sounded, but Morgan stepped in. "Didn't you hear? Reid's got some new mystery girlfriend. He won't even tell me her name."

"No, I didn't hear anything about that. When did you boys talk about this?" She wondered, eyeing him with an intense stare.

"Last Thursday on the flight home." Reid explained. "Morgan could see how distracted I've been and… he gave me some tips on how to make this girl feel special. I… I really like her and I wanted to do something really unique for her so she could see how I deeply I care for her." He shrugged shyly. "I can't speak for her, but I think she had a good time."

"Maybe you can get some information out of him." Morgan said. "He's more likely to open up to you, anyway. We've got to meet this girl, Prentiss. From the way he talks about her, she sounds like something out of myth."

At that, Emily caught Reid's eye and had to stop the loving smile from claiming her face. "Come on, Morgan… Reid's never been serious about a girl before. I think we should respect his privacy for the time being. When it's right… I'm sure we'll get to meet her."

"I'm always outnumbered with you two." He shook his head, grabbing the carafe for himself. "Fine, I'll back off… for now. What about you, though, what's this new guy's name?"

Emily and Reid locked eyes for a moment longer before she turned back to her beverage with a smile. "Now what makes you think I'm going to tell you that?"

Stunned, he let out a chortle as he poured his mug full. "Why wouldn't you tell me? Afraid you'll make me jealous?"

"Nice try," She shook her head, "but you're not going to get to me that way, not today. This is the greatest thing to happen to me in a long time, I don't want to ruin it by bringing my worlds together too quickly."

"Sounds smart," Reid said as he grabbed a Danish off the counter. "It worked for JJ."

Emily held up her coffee in recognition to his comment. "Exactly. My guy deserves more respect than to be bragged about to other men."

"Come on!" Morgan moaned, getting a little annoyed. "Just tell me his name."

Even if Emily could pull a convincing fictional name off the top of her head, she wouldn't have said anything. She gave him a reserved smile. "Let's keep some mystery between us, Morgan. Shall we?"

He conceded to her. With a shake of his head, he let out a sigh. "Alright… but this ain't over, Princess. I'm going to find out, you can't keep these things from me. I'll be back."

"I'll be here," She teased, watching him walk out of the kitchenette. She waited for him to disappear from sight, heading to his office, before let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, that was close."

"You handled it beautifully." Reid mentioned with a kind smile, unable to take her eyes off her.

"You realize I just got us an enemy." She muttered, her joyfulness having dissipated at this new threat. "He's not going to give up until he finds out who at least one of us is dating… and then we're screwed."

Reid, however was calm. He took a bite of his pastry and chewed a moment before replying. "Don't worry about. If we obsess over hiding every little thing, he'll figure it out. If we don't fuel his ambition, he'll lose interest soon enough… let's just hope he wants to search alone and doesn't pull Garcia into it, which is potentially problematic."

"You won't be able to sneeze in my apartment without Garcia finding out what color the snot is." She said, her palms resting on the counter.

"It'll be fine." Reid assured and took the chance to give her arm a confident stroke. "Worrying about it isn't going to do anything but drive you crazy." She jumped a bit as she felt a hand quickly caress down her backside. "I'd much rather do that myself."

She inched away from him, giving him a stern expression with playful eyes. "We're standing here talking about getting caught and you're feeling me up?"

"As I said before, Emily," He smiled, picking up his coffee in one hand, his Danish in the other. "I could never get enough of you."

Their eyes locked for a moment, both desperate to kiss each other. They couldn't, however, and quickly went their opposite ways. Emily back to fixing her coffee, Reid off to his desk. They didn't speak for the rest of the morning.

* * *

><p>An hour later, the team congregated in the conference room. Surprisingly, they hadn't been given their latest case yet, their tablets devoid of any new files.<p>

"Where's JJ?" Garcia asked as she and Morgan lastly entered the room.

"Not sure," Reid answered. "We were talking about fifteen minutes ago, but she got a phone call and hurried off… I haven't seen her since."

"I hope everything's okay with her family." Rossi said with concern, sitting back calmly in his chair.

"I don't think she'd be gone this long if that were the case." Hotch said. "She wouldn't leave without explaining why, at least a text message, and she'd have told someone by now. My suspicion is it's something with the case."

"Maybe they caught the guy early and now we get the week off!" Morgan hopefully said, getting a laugh out of the girls.

"Yeah, hang onto to that dream." Rossi muttered, hearing a light chuckle from Hotch on his right.

A few minutes later, their questions were answered. "I'm terribly sorry," JJ informed, rushing into the room. "I had to change the presentation. There's been a change of plans."

Hotch sat up at once. He did not like things altered so suddenly without at least being informed first. "What's going on?"

"We're not going to Louisville." She said as she stood in the front of the room. "I got a call from Strauss this morning giving us an order, we're to join DCPD in a serial murder investigation. There have been five girls murdered in the last two weeks, two this weekend alone."

The team rarely felt so rattled by an unsub. Everyone glanced nervously at each other before turning back to their liaison, waiting for their attention to return. Ready now, she took a deep breath and began.

"Three weeks ago," She said. "Carol Anne Winters, 40, was killed in her apartment in Columbia Heights. There was no sign of a break in or struggle. She was discovered by her boyfriend the morning after her death, brutally stabbed in their bed."

"The boyfriend's not a suspect?" Rossi wondered.

"He was flying home from Rome on a business trip, according to the coroner, he would have been flying over the Atlantic at the time of the murder." She explained.

The girl suddenly appeared on the screen; a lovely woman for 40-years-old. She had a bright smile with dark brunette hair and brown eyes that glowed with no suspicion of an untimely death.

"Almost a week later, 45-year-old Phoebe Cassidy was also found dead in her apartment in Deanwood, killed the same way without any evidence of an attacker. She was discovered by an elderly neighbor who was concerned when she didn't arrive at her usual time to walk the dog."

Another pictured appeared on the screen, another kind woman with very similar features to Carol Ann, right down to the bright eyes. JJ continued without lingering on the photo. It was hard enough to remain cool and composed with this evidence, humanizing the victims too much would make this job unbearable, as they all knew.

She continued on. "Last Tuesday, Lorna Porter, also 45, living in Berkley, was found by her 19-year-old-stepdaughter. Her husband was also out of town and the stepdaughter was concerned, hearing she might have been coming down with the flu. Everything matched the previous deaths and crimes scenes."

As the third picture popped up, Reid tried to control himself from letting out a gasp. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair, eyeing this elegant woman who's features were all too similar, and not just to the her predecessors.

"Saturday morning, Ellis O'Neider, age 42, was found dead in her Edgewood apartment. She was the first to waver from the MO, found dead in her empty bathtub instead of her bed. Three hours ago, the fifth and most recent victim, Siobhan Engle, 41 and living in Friendship Heights, was found by her sister."

As the last two pictures popped up, Reid almost couldn't control himself. This was unreal. He looked at everyone who stared at the victims without a bit more emotion than natural. It wasn't possible that they weren't seeing this… every single one of these girls were… if he didn't know better, he'd think every single one of them were a blood relative.

"How were the girls murdered?" Emily asked, completely oblivious to what troubled her boyfriend so.

"They were brutal." JJ explained. "Each girl was stabbed repeatedly in the chest, at least ten times a piece, a stab wound in the temple and several stabs to the vaginal area."

Coming back to reality, Reid cleared his throat, trying to force his fears away. He was just overreacting. "Injury to the genital area is never an accident, it's usually used in place of sexual assault."

"The unsub definitely has a hatred towards women." Hotch explained. "Either he physically can't rape them or he hasn't worked up the courage to commit such an act."

"He lays the victims out after their dead," Morgan noted, looking at one crime scene photo, his finger swiped the screen to see another, "but he doesn't cover them. Obviously he holds no remorse. He wants the world to see what he's done."

"He made them redress before he killed them." Reid blurted as a light bulb ignited in his head as he, too, looked over the displayed bodies.

"How do you know that?" Emily asked, curious and skeptical.

"Each victim is wearing a baby doll nightgown." He pointed out, flipping through the photos to show. "Despite the suggestion of media and fiction, that's not common for women to wear to bed when sleeping alone. The biggest of clues, however, is Lorna Porter. She had the flu, which means she most likely was originally wearing something warm and comfortable. If he made her change, he did that to all of them."

"It would coincide with the rape fantasy." Hotch agreed. "Women typically wear lingerie for a significant other… he wants to feel like these women are in love with him."

"He must have had some kind of mental control on them." Rossi noted. "I'm suspecting they didn't know he was going to kill them."

"We can discuss this more on the ride via speaker phones.," Hotch said, putting his tablet to sleep. "Garcia, it would make more sense for you to stay here. Do background checks on all the women and look for any connections connecting at least one victim to another. Everyone down at the cars in fifteen minutes."

Meeting adjourned, the group stood to hurry off and gather their things before heading off to the police station. All expect Reid, who continued focused on his pad, now lost in the picture of Phoebe Cassidy."

"Hey," Garcia said as the others hurried out. Emily was looking over something on her phone, not paying attention to either of them. "You doing okay there, Sweet Boy?"

He cleared his throat, glancing at Emily a moment. "Yeah… just thinking about this new case… it's a little disturbing."

"We've dealt with disturbing ones before, a lot worse than this." She mentioned, sounding worried for her friend. It seemed odd he'd be so taken by this case when he was normally so objective. "What's bothering you about this one?"

Pulling himself to his feet, he looked to her with a shrug. "My mind sometimes see something I can't determine immediately… there's just something odd about this one and until I discover what, it's going to bother me."

"That's why we keep you around, Smarty Pants, always seeing things no one else does." She teased lightheartedly.

"Nice to know I'm needed around here." He said and forced a smile, fooling her into believing he wasn't troubled at all.

"Don't you ever think otherwise." She said, and with that headed towards the door. "Remember, we've been without you, Mr. Genius, and this was not a happy place, I assure you."

She left the room and Emily finished what she was doing. Looking over, she caught Reid's eye. "Are you okay?"

Emily Prentiss, age 40, could just have easily been one of those girls on the screen. They looked so much like her, minus that superlative smile and butterflies in his stomach every time she met his gaze.

It was just a coincidence. After all, her looks were not that uncommon. He tried to convince himself that as he nodded. "Yeah… just a little tired. I didn't get much sleep this weekend."

"You better keep those comments to yourself." She muttered, and hurried out of the room, glancing over her shoulder at him briefly before hurrying away.

As he had thousands upon thousands of times, Reid watched her walk away. The graceful way her body moved like the timed movements of a perfect ballerina… she was so beautiful… and she was his.

Although some people didn't think so, according to the blood covered note which had found it's way into the pocket of Reid's shoulder bag. Perhaps a reminder to himself to keep on alert of this monster targeting her… and with this new case in this very city, it was a little too concurrent, no matter how many ways he looked at it.


	15. Visions and Nightmares

The day was spent discovering each fact and detail of the case. Emily and Morgan went to investigate the most recent victim's home. JJ spoke with her sister, looking for any red flags in the victim's personal life. Reid went with Rossi to the morgue, coming face to face with what was left of Miss Siobhan Engle.

"I hate the morgue," Rossi mumbled as he and Reid headed down the corridor to the autopsy room. "They all smell the same, it gives me a migraine."

"It's the perfect metaphor, when you think about it." Reid said jovially. "The end always leads to one place. No matter where we're born or what we become, we're all the same when it's over. Just a slab of meat laid out on a table… we're no different than raw hamburger."

Rossi let out a disgusted grumble. "Poetic, Reid."

"I thought so," He said, lighthearted, oblivious to his friend's repulsion.

They pushed open the metal doors and stepped into the bone chilling room. Drawers lined the wall directly opposite them, each one holding a deceased body that had not long ago been a lively person with friends and a past, their future cut short. The coroner didn't notice them immediately. He was dressed in his surgical garb, in the middle of work, his focus on an elderly gentleman.

"Dr. Farber?" Rossi called, cringing at the disgusting stench that was formaldehyde and the dead body. He was about to lose his bacon and eggs from this morning.

The coroner looked over at the call. "You from the FBI?" He asked, his mouth guarded by a paper mask.

"Yes," Rossi said, pulling out his badge in time with Reid's. "I'm SSA David Rossi, this is Dr. Spencer Reid, we're here to look at Siobhan Engle."

"One minute," He said, whipping off the mask. "I apologize for the delay, I wanted to have her laid out for you, but my assistant is taking the day off. Again."

"It's no problem," Reid said calmly. The chipper feeling was gone. Now he was beginning to feel uneasy, not wanting to stand face to face with this woman… and her parallel features.

The coroner opened one drawer, checking the toe tag before confirming. "Engle," He said, sliding the rest of it forward. A sheet was covering most of the body. Slowly, seeming out of respect for the girl, the coroner carefully pulled back to reveal her face.

"Is this your victim?" He asked.

"Yes," Rossi nodded, seeing her face. "That's her. You've already performed her autopsy?"

Reid wasn't listening. He was staring down at Siobhan's face. His mind was playing tricks on him, however, as it twisted and morphed the woman in his mind. All he could was in his mind's eye was Emily. Her skin so pale, his love looked awfully cold. Any blood that had gotten on her was cleaned away. Reid's eyes spotted the sheet had been pulled down too far, exposing her chest too much. Taking the fabric gently in his fingers, he covered her to her shoulders. There, that was better. She was a lady… she deserved more respect than that.

"Before I even had my morning coffee." He explained. "The cops said it was top priority. I worked on the previous girls, though, so it wasn't anything I hadn't seen before."

"So all the victims matched?" Reid asked, at last tearing his eyes away from the body.

"For the most part, they had the same amount of wounds. The one to the temple was first, most of the girls had been blinded by the hit, slicing the nerves to eyes. Both Siobhan and the victim before her were… well, lucky sounds like the wrong word, but they didn't lose their sight right away. The wound was an inch too high."

"Was that on purpose, you think?" Rossi said, looking to Reid.

"I'd say so." He nodded. "He probably did that intentionally to rob their sight; being lost in darkness heightens senses as well as emotions, their fear would have been amplified. But, by the time he got to Ellis, he decided he wanted them to watch what he was doing."

"It makes sense, considering these are the first two victims to be raped." The coroner explained.

"Isn't there too much damage to tell?" Rossi wondered.

The coroner shifted uncomfortably, taking a deep breath before answering. "When I examined the area, I found traces of wood and plastic, no foreign DNA… he must have used foreign objects on her, which doesn't make any sense."

"How come?" Reid wondered.

"Semen was left on the legs." He explained. "I've never seen this combination of rape before, if a man is physically able to… well, he doesn't let something else doing it for him."

"It's a demonstration of dominance." Explained Reid. Rossi glanced at him curiously, the unnatural squeak in his voice standing out like the blast of a firecracker. "He wants these women to know they belong to him until they die, and he will choose when.

"Yeah, but if he's so attracted to these women-" The coroner began to argue.

"Rape is a crime of anger, not attraction." Reid yelled, his shaky voice echoing off the frigid walls. "Each of these women represent one particular woman he wants, and he can't have her for some specific reason. This woman wronged him and made him feel weak. Now he's taking his hatred out on innocent others who represent her so he can feel like he has power again."

The coroner was very taken aback by that, this young man reprimanding him so. He cleared his throat and nodded. "Well… that's why you're the FBI agent and I'm the coroner… uh… as for the other wounds, each victim was stabbed a random amount of times in the gentials, so many I can't even count. Last was the heart." Reid flinched again as he pulled down the sheet to expose all the wounds on the woman's flesh, along with the jagged Y incision. "Each one was stabbed sixteen times in the heart, by then she was too far gone to save, but it certainly sped up the process."

"Sixteen…" Reid muttered. "That's significant."

"How so?" Rossi asked.

Reid hesitated as he stared at her face again. She was Siobhan again, but it was no more comforting. "I don't know… but he wouldn't do over and over again if there wasn't a reason."

"Other than that, there's nothing unusual." He explained. "No drugs I can detect in their systems. Some of the girls had some alcohol, but no more than a few units, about an average glass of wine. Nothing that could incapacitate them. I have the autopsy report over here if wish to read it over."

"We'll take that and the other victims' as well." Rossi said, eyeing Reid with caution a second longer. "If we have any questions, we'll contact you."

"Here's my card," The coroner said kindly, handing him a strip of paper. "Anything I can do to help."

"Thank you," Rossi said, taking the card and the files. He headed to the door, his hand on the metal when he looked back to see his teammate just standing there, staring at the floor.

"Reid," Rossi called, getting his attention. "You coming?"

Returning to the present, he looked up and nodded. "Yeah." Without another glance at the coroner nor the body, he hurried from the room, stepping pass Rossi to get to the corridor, as if he were the one ready to vomit.

"Reid," he called as he stepped into the hall, the light almost painful on his eyes after being in that cold, dark space. The boy genius wouldn't slow down, hurrying away to leave the horrors behind. "Reid, wait up."

At the call, he slowed his steps down, coming to a stop in order for Rossi to catch up. The old man took his time, standing before him with such a heavy stare. It wasn't the first time Reid felt like this man was reading his emotions off his body as Reid would words in a book. He wouldn't meet his eyes, however, trying to push that gruesome vision from his mind.

"Are you better now?" He asked, seeing his breathing calm down.

"Yeah," He said again in a sigh. "This is the most intense case I've worked on since my injury; my theory would be my subconscious just hasn't adjusted to it yet."

"Plus… it probably hasn't slipped your mind that these girls all look like Emily." He added, his voice even and calm with not a hint of accusation.

It was exactly what made Reid trust him. He turned, at last meeting his gaze. "So you notice it, too?"

"I don't think any of us would be very good at what we do if we didn't at least make a connection." He said. "I'm sure even she's rattled about it… but we're not letting it get to us. Any reason you are?"

It was the perfect opportunity to come clean. He didn't even have to tell him everything. After all, he was the one that said to keep close to her. He could amend the story slightly and still keep all the crucial evidence in his tale. Something stopped him, though. Afraid, perhaps, that getting more people involved would increase the danger, and make Emily more vulnerable.

"I care about my friend." He explained. "Is there something wrong with that?"

He paused a moment. His stare was so powerful, it almost made Reid come clean right then. "Not at all," He finally answered. "Emily's lucky she has such a friend, but you don't honestly think someone's targeting her, do you?"

Yes, he did. He was certain, though he had no proof this unsub was the culprit. "I'm probably just overreacting. It's just… she's been so different lately, what with Rawson's murdered right after she went on a date with him… and now all these murders. I'm just trying to look out for her."

Rossi let out a hum of recognition, forcing that annoyed grumble down his throat. It seemed people could never learn just to tell the truth. It was almost offensive to think neither of them – especially Emily, who had turned to him for six months for help – trusted him enough to come clean to him. He was able to tell before, did she really think he wasn't seeing this now? The others may be oblivious, and Hotch had learned a long time ago to keep his blind eye on the team, but Rossi could not be fooled. Still, until they or someone else came to him, he wouldn't ruin their confidence.

"I think the best you can do is just be there for her." He said calmly. "She doesn't like to be looked after, all those years of rebellion have corrupted her. But knowing her friend is there for her, that's at least a comforting thought. Just don't be so paranoid."

Reid didn't take that word too lightly. He knew paranoid, his mother was paranoid. And it wasn't paranoia if someone was out to get you. "I am not paranoid, I do not automatically assume someone is hunting her."

"Suspicious then." Rossi said. "Just relax, this case is no special than any other. It'll be over soon enough. Come on," He indicated the exit down the hall. "Let's go, we'll grab some lunch before we head back, my treat. You need to calm down a little."

"Thanks," Reid nodded, walking with him, this time much more coolly. "What are you in the mood to eat?"

"Anything but hamburger." He dryly replied.

* * *

><p><em>The woods were cold, even for Georgia. Reid stood in the dirt, a shovel in hand. Tiny splinters sliced into his skin, causing him searing agony. Reid was sore and dizzy, blood seeping down the side of his head, thick and warm. He was going to die, it was over… maybe at least, they would find his body and give him a proper burial. Tears streamed down his face as he struggled to stay on his feet, thinking of everyone he loved that he would never see again… his mother… JJ… Gideon…<em>

_Emily…_

"_I'm going to bury you alive in there." The deep, evil voice of Henkle said. He stood above, lording over him as he watched him work. "Give you time to think about what you've done."_

"_I know what I've done," He managed to sob. He hated himself so much, why couldn't he be stronger?_

"_Don't talk back to me." Henkle ordered. "Dig."_

_His aching hands gripped the shovel and stabbed into the ground, though it didn't make much of an impact. At least he could take solace in the fact it would be over soon enough, probably before sunrise. His body would struggle to take a deep breath and he'd end up inhaling a loud of dirt, it would be painful to suffocate, but he'd be gone… there was no definitive proof there was something beyond this life, but at the moment, the idea there was something waiting for him gave him comfort. Still, though… he wasn't ready to go._

_His thoughts drifted to Emily Prentiss, the outstanding woman who infiltrated his mind and changed the way he looked a the world. Amazing how little a person knew about himself. Reid couldn't understand how he hadn't realized his feelings for her before this, falling into that all too real delusion. She was so beautiful, she was strong and capable. She had the most gorgeous smile and gave even him a run for his money over a debate. He could discuss any subject with her for hours and she held her own. He thought longingly of the handful of conversations they'd had… it had been so hard for him to even look at her without his stomach writhing and squirming uncomfortablely, making him feel lightheaded and nauseas at the same time. Perhaps it wasn't so strange, suddenly having this epiphany. For someone who never experienced this before, how was he to know he was in love?_

_And now he'd never see her again. Being under that drug had been the greatest experience of his life. He was so disorientated now, he could hardly convince himself it hadn't happened. Fantasy or not, it had been wonderful and those would be his last thoughts while lying in his grave._

_This was too much, he couldn't take this. He just wanted to die, begging silently for Henkle to just end it now, get it over with. Just leave him here and let him be at peace._

_He glanced at Henkle, spotting the knife pointed at him. The gun was on the ground. One bullet, yes, but it was a chance. If he could only grab it… but Henkle would surely stab him before he was in reach._

_Henkle met his eye, "What are you stopping for?"_

_Without a word, he turned back to his pathetic work, struggling to keep going. He'd only have a moment's hesitation to do this, but he couldn't give up without a fight. What kind of man would he be if he didn't fight for his life?_

_An owl hooted in the distance. Reid so loathed the darkness, always fearing what could be lurking in the shadows. He swore he heard faint footsteps in the distance. Souls of the lives of the graveyard perhaps, were there such a thing._

_He stabbed at the ground another time. "Dig faster." Commanded Henkle, his patience wearing thin._

_The sheer volume of his voice sent a pain through his aching head. "I'm not strong enough." He gasped. It hurt to even breathe, but he had to do this. He would not give up yet._

_Angrily, he tossed his belongings aside, coming down into the grave. "You're all weak!" He barked. "Get out of there."_

_Lights began flashing in the distance, and Reid wondered if his mind was beginning to fade. Perhaps he was heading back to that light… maybe it was his time now._

_But Henkle turned. He spotted them, too. They were real._

_Without another hesitation, Reid lunged for the gun, grabbing it and pointed it towards the man._

_Henkle turned back as Reid cocked the gun, aiming his knife in defense. "Only bullet in that gun, boy." And with that, darted at him, his weapon poised at the ready._

_Reid pulled the trigger. As if by miracle, the bullet flew from the gun right towards his captor._

…_His aim, however, was off, flying over Henkle, just clipping his shoulder. He recoiled a moment, but came at full force right at him. Reid watched in shock as the beast took him down._

_Pain seared through his body as the knife drove right through his heart. He fell onto the ground as every inch of him shuddered with pain and cold fear._

_He gasped for air, but he couldn't breath. The taste of iron hit his tongue and he knew his mouth was filling with blood. It wouldn't be more than a few moments._

_A figure hunched over him, gentle eyes looking down at him, filling with tears. Tobias had returned._

"_Oh, no…" He uttered, tears welling as he gazed at the poor boy. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…"_

"_Reid!" Someone called in the distance… it was Hotch. They understood his clue._

_Reid couldn't talk, nor could he yell. He just focused on taking short, painful breathes as his heart fought to keep pumping. He felt so cold, his body slowly becoming numb. Tobias sat by his side, tears streaming down his face as he watched him die. Reid was the lucky one, though, in a way. In a few minutes his pain would be over, but Tobias was still suffering under his father's and Raphael's hand._

"_There he is!" Another voice called… that was Gideon._

"_No!" JJ screamed as they go closer, realizing they were too late._

_Tobias was suddenly pulled away from him, he fought and screamed against the force that had picked him up… Morgan must have apprehended him, keeping him restrained. Sound was becoming foggy, like he were sinking in water._

"_Reid," Hotch said gently, kneeling beside him._

_He forced his eyelids to open, looking to find Hotch's shining in the darkness. "I knew you'd understand." He gargled, choking on more of his blood._

"_I'm sorry," He muttered, fighting to keep his voice steady._

_Someone took Tobias's place, and Reid looked over to see Emily kneeling beside him, tears streaked down her rosy cheeks… she barely knew him and she was crying for him. And with that, staring into those beautiful brown eyes, Reid let out his last breath and slipped away into the cold darkness. He'd just wanted one more moment… just so he could tell her he loved her._

As Reid jolted, he gasped and fought for a full breath, sucking sweet oxygen into his lungs. He pulled himself to sit up, looking around the dark room of his study, quiet and undisturbed. The woods were completely gone.

He was covered in cold sweat, thinking of that nightmare that often plagued his sleep, that he hadn't been saved from that Georgia cemetery all those years ago. As he caught his breath, he looked to his right and found a warm and welcoming sight.

Emily was beside him, wearing a turquoise tank top and plaid pajama pants of the same color. She was fast asleep, undisturbed by his nightmares. She lay on her stomach, her face turned towards the wall, one arm stretched under her pillow. She'd kicked the covers away from her in the night, it was awfully warm tonight. One leg was stretched straight beside him while the other was comfortably bent. She looked so comfortable, so peaceful, like an angel.

Reid sighed with relief. It had only been a bad dream. They were much more bearable to know when he woke up, he'd find himself beside the woman he loved.

The team had left the precinct very late that night, after eleven. Since Reid's apartment was so close, he convinced Emily to bring her go bag and spend the night. Since the neighbor looked in on her cat while she was gone, she didn't see the harm in it. The thought that she'd have to spend the next few nights alone while working on the case aggravated her. For some reason, she just didn't like the idea of wanting to be alone. Not now… maybe she was just afraid she was going to lose him again.

After a quick dinner, Reid and Emily went straight to bed, still sleeping in his study since the super couldn't fix the window until the weekend. It didn't take them long to fall asleep, but Reid soon found himself in a nightmare, as usual, his twisted genius mind always reminding him he wasn't safe, that there was always danger out there, that this all could be over at any time, especially now… when it seemed everything was finally coming together.

It wasn't the time to worry about that, though. They were safe here, his gun sitting beside the bed certainly assisting in that sense of security. His heart was steady now. Reid adjusted himself, settling back into the bed where he wrapped his arms around Emily. He rested his head next to hers, breathing in that scent of baby powder and fresh rain. It was still so strange. All those years wishing he was falling asleep like this, with her, and now he finally had it… it came so natural, like they'd been doing this for twenty years. He had to keep reminding himself _this _was not the actual dream.

"Did you have a nightmare?" Emily's gently voice whispered groggily, feeling his arms envelope her.

"How'd you know?" Reid wondered, placing a light kiss on her head.

"I felt you wake up," She mumbled. Carefully, she rolled over to face him, her face half a foot from his. Her arm went around his waist, keeping his middle close to hers. "Are you okay?"

"Better now," He nodded, his smile genuine. "I woke up and realized I'm with you."

She smiled, returning his kiss with a peck on his lips. "Are you alright? You've been acting so strange today."

"Well…" He tried to brush it off with a shrug. "I'm just trying to pretend nothing's going on between us."

"No," Emily corrected. "That wasn't it… you weren't yourself, even with me. You've been… distracted. Like you're worried about something."

His lips disappeared for a minute as he tried to give an affirming smile. "I'm fine."

"You're lying," Emily said. "I can always tell when you're lying, you give that smile and you're eyes dart around. Spencer, what's wrong? I thought we agreed we'd be honest with each other."

"Emily…" He shook his head, he didn't want to get into this now. Or ever. He'd definitely prefer she remain in the dark, he didn't want to scare her. He knew how flighty Emily could get if someone was threatening her life, or the lives of the people she cared for.

"It's just…" He quickly thought of a way to tell her without scaring her. "…this case has unnerved me. All these women look so much like you. When I was in the morgue today, I couldn't shut my brain off, all I could see was you lying on that table… it scared me, to think of you being hurt."

"Is that it?" She wondered, as if he were just being silly. "Oh, Spencer… nothing's going to happen to me. I know you're just being protective, you've always looked out for me, but it's just a coincidence. My looks are very common, you know that."

He let out a long breath. "No, you're looks are not common. I've seen many people, and many paintings of some of the most striking, gorgeous women in world… none of them even come close to your beauty."

If someone had told her last year Spencer Reid was such a sweet talker, she never would have believed it. The words flowed from his mouth so naturally… and Emily knew he meant every single one. It clutched on her heart and made her want to cry. Never had she felt so many wonderful emotions before.

Her hand brushed some of the tangled hair off his face, her thumb lightly stroking the apple of his cheek. "So no more nightmares?"

"I don't think so," He said, leaning into her. "Not tonight."

Emily smiled, closing the remaining distance, just inches from his lips. "Poor thing, you must be wide awake now. How will you ever get back to sleep?"

"I don't know," He muttered. "I could be up for hours… and then I'll be exhausted for work tomorrow. If only there was a way I could…" He pressed a barely there kiss to her elegant mouth, "…burn off this excess energy."

With a giggle, "I think I have an idea."

Without another word, they met in a full kiss. The threat of an early morning couldn't defer a couple in love. As they kissed, Reid easily guided Emily onto her back, her hand wasting no time in sliding under his shirt.

They kissed slowly and passionately for several long minutes, defying the laws of anatomy at how long they could hold their breaths. Reid shifted to lay on top of her, her flannel covered legs wrapping around his hips, bringing him even close to her, and they both moaned in pleasure. Tonight was going to be sweet and slow. They'd be exhausted in the morning… but they didn't care.

Emily slipped Reid's t-shirt off, tossing it aside. As she began pressing kisses to the crook of his shoulder, they both stopped suddenly. On the coffee table, which Reid had moved in order to pull out their bed, Reid's cell phone started ringing and vibrating. The shrill sounds shattering the romantic, heated atmosphere of the room.

"It never ends." Emily sighed with a roll of her eyes. It must be Hotch saying they found another body. It couldn't be healthy to keep getting herself into this state and having to stop. She could only imagine the agony Reid was in.

"Maybe it's nothing," He said hopefully, beginning to pull away from her.

"Yeah," Emily noted. "Maybe the unsub had a sudden fit of remorse and turned himself in."

"Hope spring's eternal in the human beast." Reid said and with that, pulled himself off the bed.

She smiled, watching his half naked form walk to the coffee table. She begged for it to be nothing; nothing that didn't need dealt with until morning anyway. She wasn't ready to let him go yet, she loved lying here in his bed, feeling him wrap his arms around her, his warm breath on the back of her neck as they slept. Please don't take him away from her… not yet, not while the day was so far away.

It was JJ. That was better than Hotch, but it didn't necessarily mean it was nothing. He hid his sullen expression as he answered. "Reid,"

There was no response on the other end at first, just terrified gasps. "JJ?" Reid asked, concerned.

Emily pulled herself off the pillow, propped up on her arms. She was curious as to what made him so bothered suddenly.

"Reid… it-it's… me…" She stammered. "There's a problem."

"What's wrong?" He insisted. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, but… I'm not so sure about Emily." She answered.

He was shocked, almost believing she suspected something. However, she sounded much too frightened for this to be some joke or attempt to catch them. Looking back at the girl in his bed, he asked. "What's the matter with Emily?"

She was just as troubled by that statement as Reid. It perturbed her to think there might be something going on that she didn't. JJ need not worry, she was just fine… something must have happened to make her think otherwise.

"The 911 dispatcher has been keeping track of calls involving break ins, especially with middle aged women, reporting back to us. There was one about an hour ago… it's Emily's apartment."

"Oh my God," He exclaimed, that fear bubbling in his gut again, making him want to be sick. "What did they find?"

"The apartment is completely trashed, like someone went to rob the place, but nothing's been taken. The problem is there's no one here. I've been trying to reach her on her cell, but she's not picking up. I'm really getting worried."

"JJ, it's alright, Emily's here." Reid explained, seeing Emily's eyes grow wide in panic.

There was a pause before she asked, "What's she doing there?"

"My new place is really close to the precinct and Emily's is the farthest, I offered to let her sleep here tonight. She's staying in my study… hold on, I'll go get her so you can talk to her."

He pulled the phone away, slowly walking to the bed to make it seem like they were a good distance apart. Emily sat up fully, the sheets pooling around her waist.

"What's going on?" She whispered.

"Someone broke into your apartment." He relayed to her. "The BAU put the emergency dispatcher on alert and when JJ saw the address… she knew it was you."

She waved her hand to be given the cell. Taking a deep breath, she put it to her ear. "Hey, JJ."

"Oh, Emily, thank God," She sighed with relief. "When we saw your apartment like this and you not here… we feared the worst."

"You're there now?" She asked, climbing off the bed. No hope of any more sleep tonight… or anything else for that matter.

JJ replied, "Yeah, along with Hotch and Morgan. Rossi's on his way and now we just need you and Reid."

Reid walked over, placing a delicate kiss on her temple before stepping out. Even without hearing the other end of the conversation, he knew they'd better get over there. He headed to his room to change his clothes.

"We'll be there in about fifteen minutes." Talented as always, Emily expertly began to pull off her pajama pants, not wavering a beat in the conversation. "Where's Sergio?"

"Who's Sergio?" She asked, confused.

"My kitten, I just got him a few months ago." She explained.

"Oh, you're neighbor has him… Angela. She said she heard him scratching and meowing at her door to get in, terrified. When she saw your apartment wide open, she went to take a look and immediately saw the mess. She brought the cat in and called 911."

This was so odd. Her apartment was incredibly safe. The doorman did not let anyone in without notification, and if he didn't have it, he called the tenant to confirm. The night doorman was even stricter. Not to mention, the deadbolt on her door was iron clad. No one could just break in.

"JJ," Emily said as she pulled a pair of pants on. "I appreciate you guys getting up in the middle of the night to investigate a break in at my place, but it seems like something mundane to waste BAU power on."

"Hotch doesn't agree." She argued. "And neither do I."

"What do you mean?" She wondered.

"Em… don't tell me you don't see it. You're exactly like the other victims." JJ pointed out. "The looks, the age, the lifestyle… this has to be the unsub. You were supposed to be his next victim tonight."

The very thought sent a shudder through every fiber of her being. Pulling the phone away for a moment, Emily whipped off her tank top. After tossing it aside, she grabbed her bra. "We don't have any proof of that."

"Until we know otherwise, we're including it in the case." JJ explained. "I'll let the guys know you're alright, we'll see you soon."

"We'll be there," She said and with that, clicked off the call. She set Reid's phone down and slowly pulled on her bra, moving exceedingly slow.

JJ was wrong, this had to be some routine break in… though it didn't seem very routine at all. Emily lived in one of the most expensive neighborhoods in DC. It was safe, it was quiet… the only crime she knew of there was identity theft.

She would gladly bet half her trust fund that these weren't connected, that the team was unwisely jumping to conclusions and Reid was just being overprotective. He couldn't have been right… there were hundreds of women in the DC area that fit this description, why go for someone who was so heavily protected, was good with a gun, and was able to fight off a man twice her size. Maybe he got an extra thrill from the challenge.

For some reason, she thought of those formal gloves bunched up in her shoulder bag. That was silly. They weren't in the least bit connected. There was nothing formal about the murders or the girls… why would she suddenly worry herself with those.

"Hey," Reid said as he came back in. Emily turned so fast, she almost got whiplash, startled by his presence. He was clean and pressed, ready to go in the clothes he laid out to wear in the morning. He didn't look the least bit tired or frustrated at being pulled out of bed so suddenly. "Almost ready?"

"Yeah," She nodded, shoving off her worry. She reached into her bag to pull out a cream turtleneck sweater. "I just can't believe, with all this… someone broke into my apartment."

Her back to him, she didn't see Reid's fingers lightly stroke his pant leg, feeling the folded note in his pocket, creased from being folded and unfolded so many, many times. "Yeah… me neither."

* * *

><p>AN: I meant to post this earlier, but the site wouldn't let me log in. It was very frustrating and caused me to rant some very colorful words and phrases at the website. Sorry for the delay, enjoy! :)


	16. A Family Heirloom

They drove in silence most of the way. Reid's entire focus was on the road. If Emily didn't know better, she'd think he was mad at her. His knuckles were white as they clung to the steering wheel. It was common for Reid's speed to yo-yo as he drove, but it had gone twenty miles over the limit and had yet to slow down.

"You okay?" Emily asked as he flipped on his turn signal. She wondered if he was even going to slow down for the exit coming up.

Thankfully, he did. She breathed much easier. "Yeah, I'm just… thinking. I'm not good at multi-tasking."

"Reid, I've seen you read four books at one time and none of them were in the same language." She corrected sternly, offended he actually thought she'd fall for that. "Don't lie to me, what's wrong? I thought we agreed we're not going to keep things from each other."

"I just can't help but think… if I hadn't asked you to stay tonight, might be dead right now." He admitted. He glanced over getting a skeptical scowl from her and he immediately continued. "Don't look at me like that. I'm not overreacting, look at the facts."

"I am." Emily muttered turning away. "The fact is my apartment was empty all night, which a burglar took notice of and broke in. JJ doesn't think he took anything, I guarantee you my jewelry box will be empty and my safe will be broken into. I should be on the phone right now canceling my credit cards and voiding my passport, not forming a profile."

"Emily, believe me, I wish it were that simple." Reid answered, shaking his head. "But I told you I don't believe in coincidences, especially in circumstances like this. I've been doing this job too long not to connect these occurrences. This was an attack by the unsub. You coming home with me was a last minute decision. He expected you to be home and when he broke in… he took his frustration out on his surroundings."

She was still in disbelief. His reasoning was not enough to convince her. It would take a lot to get her to agree. "I think you're wrong. I think you're just being overprotective. Don't get me wrong, it's a nice change from the previous men I used to date. We're you like this with your other girlfriends?"

No, he was not. He hadn't even been so protective of Lila Archer when a stalker was after her. She wasn't Emily, though. No one was like her.

"It's just that I'm crazy about you." Reid stated plainly. "And using insanity as an adjective like that is not something I do lightly. You mean more to me than I can say… if I feel so strongly about you, is it so hard to believe someone else of evil intentions might feel the same?"

It didn't convince her, but it at least softened her stubborn attitude. Slightly. She didn't respond, nor bring up a new argument. Reid fell into silence, his attention back to the road. For what it was worth, Emily knew she was lucky to have him looking out for her, even though it was completely unnecessary.

At last, they pulled onto Emily's block. There was a congestion of police cars outside the structure. Their sirens were off, but their lights were flashing, ordering drivers to pass with caution. Several people were crowding on the streets to see the commotion, despite the late hour. Most of the lights were ignited in the building, including those in all the ones nearby.

A cluster of cops was blocking the entrance while shooting the breeze without a care in the world. Emily and Reid flashed their badges to be granted access. The youngest of the group reached over to open the door, allowing them inside. Without a word, they hurried to the empty stairwell.

The floor wasn't as active as outside the building, but still unusual for the hour. Further down the hall, Reid immediately spotted three familiar people in the middle of a deep discussion. Judging by their body language, it wasn't good.

He tugged on Emily's sleeve to follow, heading over to meet Morgan, Hotch, and JJ. They spotted the two as they approached, not in the least bit alleviated.

"We were worried about you, Prentiss." The first thing Morgan said. His eyes quickly looked her over, making sure she was indeed in one piece. "When we got here and found you gone, we didn't know what to do."

"What, you think I can't take care of myself?" Emily said lightheartedly, folding her arms with a smile. Now that she was here, seeing her door stand ajar as if someone were listening on the other side, it was very disturbing. Despite her argument with Reid, Emily had never had anyone break into her apartment that she hadn't met before, and never in a good circumstance.

Morgan gave a light laugh, but neither Hotch nor JJ were in any mood to take this easily. "Do you have any idea who did this? Anyone who has a grudge against you?" Hotch interrogated.

She had been through a lot, in this job and her previous involvement in law enforcement. She'd been beaten and shot at, drugged and held hostage, yet this was the first time any spoke to her like that. Like she was a real victim.

"I could give you a very long list of enemies, Hotch, but no one that immediately comes to mind." She admitted. "I really don't think this is anything to worry about."

"There's always something to worry about." A voice said behind them. Everyone turned to see Rossi coming down the hall. "I pulled up just as you two were walking into the building. What were you doing at Reid's? You don't get enough of this kid at work?"

Emily met his eye and felt a little ashamed for keeping this from him. "He offered to let me stay over." She said, side stepping the truth ever so slightly. "It's closer to the precinct. My cat had enough food for the next few days, and I have a neighbor look in on him… I didn't see the harm."

"Is that a fact," He replied. Their eyes were locked for what seemed like an eternity before he at last looked to the others. "What do we know so far?"

"Forensics is almost done gathering evidence. We did our own run through of the apartment." Hotch explained. "As far as we can tell, nothing appears to be missing. Stereo, furniture, there's a safe in the closet we dusted for prints, but for the most part looks untouched. We'll want you to open it and investigate the contents, just to be sure."

"Of course," Emily answered. "I'll search through my other hiding places just to be certain. I really hope he didn't take anything."

"I hope he did." Morgan muttered.

Reid was perplexed. "Why do you say that?"

"Otherwise, why the hell else would this guy break in other than to get to Prentiss?" He pointed out. "It seems a little too familiar not to be the work of our latest unsub, don't you think? I mean look at her. If I were this killer and I needed a new target, Prentiss fits it to a tee."

"Ugh," Emily moaned, pushing past the men to get inside. "Not you, too."

She headed into the apartment and Reid was right behind her without a second thought. This place was odd to him. It was still strange, but at the same time had a familiarity to it. With this odd sensation, he felt even more guilt. He couldn't help but think if he hadn't forgotten those two months and they hadn't lost half a year… where would they be right now? He hoped they would still be together… their relationship bonded and stable. Maybe they'd even be living together by now, and then he'd be sure he could always protect her.

It didn't matter, until they solved this, he would be there watching over her no matter what. He didn't care if he had to stay up all night so as to give her a restful sleep. If only she wouldn't take this so lightly. Then again, if he showed her the note and told her what really happened, it might make her more aware.

If by chance she did believe him then, she would be terrified. Reid couldn't do that to her… but he could tell someone else.

"Living room looks pretty much in tact." Emily said, looking around. "It seems more like this mess is a distraction… like he was doing this on his way out the door, just to lead us off the trail."

"It could mean a lack of intelligence." Reid mentioned, spotting the several books having been pulled from the shelves directly above. "Or he's just underestimating ours."

There was nothing out of the ordinary here, just a simple waste of time. Surprising, considering the intruder could easily have cleared 5 grand on the sound system alone. His interest was most certainly not money.

Upstairs was more crucial. Emily and Reid pulled on identical pairs of blue rubber gloves before climbing the steps. She stopped abruptly on the top step, her shoe making a squelching sound as she stepped onto the carpet.

Reid didn't notice at first, running into her. "What's wrong?"

"The carpet is soaked." Emily groaned, stepping back. Reid's latex hand fell on her waist in a very protective manner. "How did that happen?"

"The cops said the shower was running when they got here." A Hispanic forensic investigator said as she made a note on a clipboard. "The drain was clogged with a ton of hair, real disgusting if you ask me." She flashed a judgmental look at Emily, a jab at her housekeeping skills not doubt. It flooded the bathroom and saturated almost the whole hall and half the guest room."

"Ugh," Emily groaned again. Without thinking, she clutched Reid's hand, bracing them both as began to trek through the wet corridor. "Come on."

They stepped gingerly through the hall, not wanting the shower water to infiltrate their shoes and soak their socks. It was odd the shower would clog like that. She almost never used that shower, only for two weeks last year when the landlord had to replace the pipes in the master bathroom. In fact… that shower hadn't been used by anyone in six months. How could enough hair get down that drain to flood the bathroom?

Emily took a glance in the guest room. No one had stepped into that room since Reid left her. It had just been too painful for her, thinking she'd lost him forever. The light looked strange now, illuminated in the middle of the night. But, amazingly, the plasma screen and blu ray player remained in perfect condition. Just like everything of value downstairs.

At the end of the hall, Emily led Reid into her bedroom. This very morning, she was thinking how much fun this weekend would be, when she and Reid would spend the time here. Eat at the diner they had their first date on Saturday morning, maybe even take him back to the skating rink. She should have known something would come along and ruin things. It was always the way.

The bedroom was a shattered mess. Broken glass and porcelain littered the floor. The neatly made bed was ruffled and disturbed, as if someone had just gotten up for the day. Clothes were ripped off their hangers and thrown from drawers, littering the floor, along with ripped book pages and the shards of glass from the glass of the picture frames.

"Wow," Emily muttered as she dropped Reid's hand, folding her arms once again as she surveyed the mess. She observed the several investigators as they continued their dusting and collection of every inch and crevice of her most private space. "I haven't had this many guys in my room since Greek Week in college."

She giggled, looking back at Reid. His expression was serious and cold, furious she'd be so humorous at a time like this. Emily frowned at him. "God, would you lighten up, it was a joke!"

"I don't find anything funny about this." Reid said. He opened his mouth to argue further, but realized they were not alone. "Hey…" He said to the forensic team. "Are you guys almost done?"

"Just about," An elder man with white hair said as he finished with her closet. "The room's exactly as we found it, it's all yours."

He and the man with the camera stepped out. Within thirty seconds, the other three followed. The secret couple was alone once more.

"Look," Emily said, turning to him. "I love that you're so worried about me. Honestly, I don't think anyone has cared so much, but there's a fine line between being protective and being obsessive. You need to take a few steps back. This is nothing."

It was not nothing. When she was involved, it meant everything. He was beginning to think he wouldn't be able to change her mind without some kind of proof… he just hoped once she saw it, it wouldn't be too late.

For once, his wish was granted in a matter of minutes.

"I don't see any signs of forced entry." Emily said, checking each of the windows. Neither were broken, plus both the locks were in place. "If anyone tampered with this, the alarm would have been triggered. Angela knows to reset the alarm after she checks on Sergio and it automatically arms at midnight, anyway. So… whoever broke in here had to know the code."

"Not necessarily." Reid said, examining the top of her dresser. "If he has any knowledge of computer systems, it would be easy to pass the code with nothing more but a USB cord and a smart phone."

While speaking, he saw an antique jewelry box set in the center of the display, which Reid began to look through. There were lots of necklaces and bracelets, glittering with all kinds of different gems and too many diamonds to count. Reid let out a whistle.

"I can't believe anyone would pass this up." Reid indicated as he looked at her. "If you sold each of these pieces, you could retire on the interest alone."

Emily walked over, joining him to look. "Maybe that's what I should do. I don't even wear these. Most of them are heirlooms, a few were gifts from my father and grandfathers."

"So… no… boyfriend mementos?" He asked, with a questioning smirk.

Now who wasn't taking this seriously? "No one's cared about me enough to buy me jewelry… except Stevie Besslemen in the third grade. He won a locket in a quarter machine and gave it to me for my birthday. Still have it, too. You never forget your first love."

"Oh… well, I can top that." Reid said, and she flinched with a gasp as he caressed her backside lightly, just like that morning.

Emily smiled for no more than a nanosecond, suddenly distracted. "Wait…" She ordered, shoving Reid's hand away from the box. She started to search through the jewelry, digging through the glitter and gold to find one particular thing. Where was it… she didn't often go through this, but that was the one piece she always loved to look at… where was it?

"No," She hissed, continuing to dig. "Where is it? Out of everything in here, why would that be gone?"

"What are you looking for?" Reid wondered, puzzled.

Emily stepped back, her face ashen. It wasn't here… maybe she had misplaced it. No, she'd remember moving it. Emily hadn't worn it in at least a decade, she only pulled it out every once in a while to look it over, feel the shell beneath her fingers, cold of the metal in her hand.

"I can't believe it, it's gone." She muttered, stepping away.

"What's gone?" Reid wondered. He stepped in front of her, his hands falling on her upper arms to stop her wobbling. It looked like one good breeze could knock her over. "Emily?"

"My… my brooch." She explained, at last looking up to meet his eyes. "Uh… it's a cameo of a young woman carved in shell and it's fit in a 14K gold pin, it's a family heirloom… my grandmother gave it me at sixteen, when I came out. It's missing, I just can't believe it."

"When was the last time you wore it?" Reid wondered.

"Not for a very long time." Emily explained, she pulled out of his arms, needing to sit down. She couldn't understand this. Out of everything… that piece was gone. It seemed too significant to ignore, but she wouldn't say that.

"A few months? Maybe you left it at your mothers?" Reid wondered. "Maybe I messed with it when I was sick and… you just forgot where I put it."

"No," Emily shook her head. "You never looked at my jewelry. And that brooch… I haven't worn that since my early thirties… I… well, it's silly, but… never mind."

"Emily, it might be important, you have to tell me." Reid informed, sitting beside her. He easily took her hand, resting it in his lap, waiting for her to continue.

She loved this man, but saying this out loud was difficult for her. Emily Prentiss carried the world on her shoulders. She'd been alone a long time and was good at it… admitting this would make her sound not only weak… but ordinary. She couldn't imagine what would go through his head. He wouldn't think she was this unique creature anymore.

"It's just…" She hung her head. "When my grandmother gave me that pin… I always said it was going to be my Something Old when I got married. You know, from the poem."

"That's just an old superstition, Emily. The notation that a woman has to wear those four items to ensure a happy marriage is an outdated tradition that started in medieval England. Along with the four items, the bride also needs to carry a silver sixpence in her shoe. They don't make those any… that's not the point is it?"

"No," Emily said, and couldn't help the smile breaking loose. "The point is that… I made that decision when I was sixteen and… well, I got to my thirties, I had no husband, no kids… not even close. It made me depressed so I put the pin away and I only look at it every now and then… always reminding myself of what I never had. I can't understand why it would be gone. No one I know knows I have that brooch. No one on the team, no one I went to college with… it's priceless, I never wanted to arise an opportunity where I would lose it."

"So… whoever took it must be someone who knew you from a long time ago." Reid determined. "Any other person would have taken all the jewelry."

"Would you stop with that!" Emily cried, jumping off the bed. "I know the circumstances are fantastic, but you're wrong, Spencer. For once in your life, you are wrong! This has nothing to do with me in particular! Even if it were the unsub, his target could not be me specifically. I would not be his fantasy when searching for his surrogates. He wouldn't go after these girls because… of…"

Her eyes landed on her bed again, close to the break in the sheets. Something odd was sticking out of the cream colored fabric… something made of silk… it was her robe. Her favorite robe, ankle length with the silver and black roses on it. She didn't' leave that in there.

Maybe Reid wasn't so far off after all. The idea occurred to her as she reached over silently, preparing to pull back the covers.

Had this been a random victim, some poor girl she didn't know, this wouldn't have affected her nearly as bad. She would have winced, been mildly disgusted, but not frightened so easily. But this wasn't a random girl, this wasn't even a girl she knew… this was her very self.

She had lifted it only slightly before she let out a shriek and backed away. "Oh, God," She moaned in disgusted horror, turning and covering her eyes.

"What is it, what's wrong?" Reid asked, hurrying over.

"Oh, God…" She moaned again into her hands. Emily was afraid she might be sick.

Reid had to see for himself. He stepped passed her to grab the covers, lifting just as slowly. He spotted the mess on Emily's robe and while he didn't immediately turn away as Emily had, he certainly felt his stomach churn.

He pulled back the covers, ready to chew out the crime scene team for missing this. Reid hurried over to Emily and put his arm around her. She wasn't crying, but her shaking form was unmistakable. This shook her down to the bone.

"It's okay, Emily," Reid said. He tired to pull her closer, but she just pushed him away. Emily took several steps to distance herself from him. As badly as he wanted to comfort her, Reid gave her what she needed right now. Space.

It was instinct for Emily push away human tenderness in a circumstance like this. She knew how to deal with her own problems, hiding her primal need to be comforted by a friend… or in this case, lover. She wanted Reid to wrap her in his arms, let her bury her face in the crook of his neck and breathe in the smell of old books and coffee while she listened to his heart beat. But Emily was too proud. She remained with her back to him until her heart rate eased back down.

"You're right," She muttered, as the wave of shock passed over. Emily turned to look at him. "I'm sorry… you're right, someone's after me."

"Believe me, there has never been a time I wish I was more wrong." He said tenderly, guardedly taking a step closer to her. "It'll be alright."

"I can't believe he did that… in my bed!" She griped, hatred bubbling in her lovely pupils. "I can't remember a time I've felt so violated."

"Hello?" A voice called down the hall. "Can I cross or do I have to wait for the next river boat."

"We're in here." Reid called to Rossi. Emily willed herself to keep it together, trying not to show how distraught she was. She could deal with this, put up the barriers and fool the world into thinking she felt no real emotions whatsoever. Right now, she envied the robots she'd seen in every sci-fi movie she watched, side by side with Reid.

Footsteps squished through the hall into the bedroom where Rossi got his first look at the disaster. "I hope this was the unsub, because if this is the work of your decorator, I'd ask for my money back."

"Do you have a point, Dave?" Emily involuntarily barked. Normally, she didn't have such a short fuse, but after seeing _that _she was a firework display that had just caught fire.

His attempt to diffuse the tension was abandoned immediately. "What happened?"

"We're pretty sure this is the unsub." Reid announced. "There's no definite proof if Emily's just a target or the object of his fantasies, though. What we can determine is, since Emily wasn't here, he needed to… relieve himself in Emily's bed, like he'd done to the girls… in loo of lingerie, he used her robe."

Rossi remained calm, but it was obvious this rattled him as well. "We'll compare the DNA to what we found on the victims. I'd bet my fortune it matches."

"I… I can't…" Emily shook her head. This was too much, she felt short of breath and needed to get as far from this bed as possible before she was sick. "I need to get out of this room so I can process this. I'll… see you guys in the hall."

Shoving passed Reid first and then Rossi, Emily hurried out of the room. They heard the squishing footsteps reach the stairs and they echoed into the distance, leaving the man alone.

"She's really scared." Rossi said, looking back at her. "I've never seen her like this… except over you. Does she have any idea who's doing this to her?"

"No," Reid answered. Not that he didn't notice his comment, but he had too much on his mind right now. "Neither do I, actually… though I know a little bit more about it than she does."

Curious, Rossi slipped his hands into his pockets, looking him up and down. "What is it that you know?"

"Okay, I haven't been completely honest with her." Reid reached into his pocket, extracting the note to, at last, share it with another. This seemed the best and most private place to divulge this piece of evidence to the only man he could probably trust with the news.

Reid began to explain. "Last Saturday night… Emily and I were at my place. It was pretty late, we were talking and cooking in the kitchen…" He conveniently left out the hours of love making that lead to that kitchen scene, nor that they were about to go another time on the counter top. "We heard this crash from my bedroom. When I went there… someone had thrown a brick through the window, no doubt having climbed up the fire escape. Attached to the brick… was this."

Rossi didn't need every detail to form an idea of what was going on that night. He'd known these two too long. Without a word, he took the paper and carefully unfolded it. The letters had long since turned brown, but were as solid and deadly as when first read. "I see… and what did you tell her?"

"That is was just kids." He said. "I did it to protect her… do you think I should have told her?"

"Maybe not at the time, but… I think we're going to have to." Rossi informed, very solemn. "Let me take this, put it in as evidence. They should test where the blood came. It's very possible it was just paint."

"No… I know blood. I've seen and smelled enough of it… mostly because it was my own. I know that's what's on that paper." Reid insisted, very determined.

"If that's the case, we'll definitely need to test it. It could very well match that sample in the bed and on the victims. Meanwhile, your job is look after Emily. Did she notice anything else strange about the room?"

"Just a family heirloom that's suddenly gone." He explained. "It hasn't been worn in a long time, she says."

"Ask her if there might be any photos of it anywhere. Without evidence, we can't have proof he took it when we catch this guy." He said.

"I'm sure if she doesn't have something, her mother does." Reid answered. "She said her grandmother gave it to her when she was… oh my God."

Rossi asked, "What?"

"Sixteen… she got it when she was sixteen." He informed.

The light bulb ignited over Rossi's head. "Each of the victims was stabbed sixteen times in the chest. So it… probably is someone she knew at that age."

"You mean someone she left behind." Reid said, riddled with anxiety. He couldn't imagine what this man was planning, holding a grudge all for so long. A quarter of a century was a long time to nurse a broken heart, and plenty of which to plan revenge.

* * *

><p>AN: I'm sure by now everyone's heard Paget Brewster is leaving by the end of the season. It's so sad, I'm going to miss her so much. She deserved so much better than how she was treated, but I hope that by leaving she's on the bigger and better things. (I hear she wants to go back to comedy. She's so funny, I'd love if she got her own show.) It's just not going to be the same without her, but regardless, I have a lot planned for this series, her character is far from over. :)


	17. Never Look Back

The next few days were slow and mundane. Reid couldn't have been more grateful for them, either. Since the murders were spread around the city, the team decided to move the investigation to the BAU. It seemed none of the girls had any connection to each other, and truly Emily had never heard of them until this case. She was really their only link to the unsub and began to predict there wouldn't be another body until he claimed Emily… none of them could determine if that were a good or bad thing.

Friday morning, the team arrived at their usual time. Each were conversing over coffee and doughnuts in the break room, bracing themselves for another day of this. They felt like they were reaching a dead end and it was frustrating, for Emily more than anyone. Because if they didn't find some soluble clue from the other victims soon, the team was going to have to turn to her and as a very private person, she wasn't too keen on even her closest friends diving into her past. There were things there she didn't want anyone to know… things even she had vague details on.

Since Reid had taken the task of looking out for her, it was easy to explain why they were riding into work every morning. For the past few nights, they had been at his place. Hers hadn't been cleared yet. Normally, it would have been fun and exciting to use it as an excuse to spend every night together, but the growing investigation made for a morbid atmosphere, and building a wall between them. They couldn't enjoy a minute of being together. Emily was contorted trying to figure out who could hunting her while Reid was in fear whoever it was was out there… right now… just waiting to make his move on her. He'd barely slept a wink.

That being said, Rossi found him that morning pouring an obsessive amount of sugar into a cup of rich, black coffee. He was yawning, his eyes barely able to stay open. This case was killing him.

"Please tell me there's a good reason why you're so exhausted this morning." He said with a smirk as he walked over. "You and Emily have a long night?"

"Too long," Reid muttered, stirring the millions of granules to dissolve them. "What's going on?"

He lowered his voice and moved closer. After taking a glance at Emily, who was resting her tired head on the table in mid conversation with Garcia, he said, "I need to talk to you in private."

Reid was suddenly wide awake. He grabbed his coffee and followed Rossi away from the others, passing through the precinct's squad room and over to the deputy captain's office, where it's inhabitant had yet to come in for the day.

Rossi walked in first, waiting for Reid to join him. As he entered, he took a long sip of his coffee, listening as the door closed. They were alone.

"What's up?" Reid wondered, looking back to the elder man with concern.

After letting out a deep breath, "I ran the paper you gave me, I put it in as evidence for this investigation, but I haven't told the others about it. I figured until we know otherwise, it's none of their business."

"Good thinking," Reid agreed. He couldn't help but debate with himself if this were the good news preceding the much too horrific bad.

"Well… I got the results this morning." Rossi said. His hands slipped into his pockets, his eyes never leaving Reid's exhausted face. There was much more than a physical lack of sleep about this boy. "It seems the blood came from two different people."

Reid had a guess who those two people would be, but left it to Rossi to explain. "The first one is Ellis O'Neider, which would make sense since it was thrown in the wee hours of Sunday morning."

"She'd have been killed only a few hours before." Reid agreed, trepidation crawling up his veins and claiming his body.

"Exactly," was Rossi's answer.

Reid had worked too long and hard at his career not to know Rossi was leading up to something major. Something about this had come out of the blue, making him reluctant to respond. He suddenly had the urge to take Emily's hand, drag her out to the car, and drive her as far away from here as possible. But he couldn't; he had to plant his feet firmly to the floor. Finally, he could take no more. "Well? Who's the second sample from?"

After another pause, Rossi confessed, "Mick Rawson."

At first, Reid believed he had misheard. That couldn't be possible. Mick Rawson was killed over two weeks ago, his body had already been shipped back to the UK. The blood couldn't possibly belong to him.

"That can't be true." Reid shook his head. "There has to be some kind of mix up, they confused the samples at the crime lab or something. Rawson was hanged, how could his killer get his blood?"

"That's what I thought, but it's confirmed." Rossi answered. "I placed a call to the morgue to get the autopsy report, I also made a call to a few inspector friends in England, they're going to make some calls and get back to me. We never looked into the case, there's a lot we don't know. What we do know is the only way both his and Ellis's blood could have gotten on that paper was if they were killed by the same man."

It was completely logical, Reid knew. Still, he couldn't wrap his head around it. He had tried to convince Emily Rawson's death was in no way her fault, but… in a way… he was dead completely because of her.

"I can't believe she was right," Reid whispered, setting his coffee on the desk as he lowered himself into a chair.

"We have bigger fish to fry right now." Rossi interrupted. He remained on his feet. He wasn't going to lie; he was almost as nervous about this as Reid. He, however, knew what they had to do. "The team is going to have to learn about this, it's crucial evidence… it would probably be best to bring Emily in here, come clean to her about everything and make sure you both have your stories straight."

Reid had barely been listening, his mind stretching beyond its own limits to connect Mick Rawson with the other women. Perhaps someone who had a grudge against both he and Emily, that this theory of someone from her youth had come for revenge. Rossi's order, however, brought him back to Earth.

"What are talking about?" Reid wondered, speaking slowly. "Get… what stories straight?"

"Well… like the real reason you and Emily were alone on Saturday night." Rossi said, finally bringing his knowledge to light. He was getting tired of dancing around the subject anyway. It was fun at first, like a game of chicken, but that had grown tiresome. He was an old man, his energy was better spent in other aspects of life.

"I told you why we were alone." Reid began.

"I may not have a 187 IQ, but I'm not stupid. You think I haven't gotten too friendly with some of my fellow agents in my time?" He said. His face was unsmiling, but there was a sparkle in his eye.

Offended, "It's not like that. Emily and I care about each other… she told me you knew about-"

"Reid, I didn't bring it up to get you into trouble. I just mean it would be prudent if the two of you were at least honest with me so I can watch out for you." He said, brushing it aside. "And, having said that, you need to be honest with Emily."

He'd been afraid of that, yet even with this evidence staring him in the face, Reid wasn't so sure he could do it. She was already frightened enough. She wouldn't show it openly, but Reid could tell. He'd known Emily too long not to see that. The more frightened she was, the more distant she became. She had barely spoken a word last night. Thoughts flickered in her eyes like embers in a fireplace, her thoughts fixated on one point. He would love to know what was going through her head… but no matter how he pressed, she wouldn't open up yet. The only thing he could think to do was give her space.

"I'm not so sure I can," Reid said, running a hand through his chestnut hair. It was starting to grow out again.

"Emily will understand." Rossi assured, going over to the door. "After all… she's been in your shoes before."

Reid wasn't so sure what he meant by that, and had this been a lighter circumstance, he probably would have asked. Rossi stepped out the door, going to fetch his fellow team mate and not-entirely-secret girlfriend.

Her head was up now, leaning on her hand with her eyes closed, pretending to listen to Garcia's upcoming vacation with Kevin. Emily had barely slept over the last few nights. Her mind was too alive to let her rest for long. Not to mention it was hard to sleep with Reid tossing and turning beside her. She knew he was tormented by what was going on with her, and part of her loved him for that… but another part hated it. Reid didn't need to be so worried. This was her problem and the last thing she needed was to pull everyone in on it. If she could run and deal with this herself, she would, but Emily didn't know where to run that this guy wouldn't find her.

Opening her eyes, she spotted Rossi coming towards her. His expression was grave. She suspected there was another body. At least that would mean the unsub had moved his focus to someone else for the time being. He approached her, "I need to speak to you in private."

"Hmm," Garcia muttered, swallowing a sip of her morning tea. "I'm sensing something awfully suspicious. Something going on between you two?"

"Never you mind." Rossi replied, and gave her a kind smile. He waited for Emily to get out of her seat without question, leaving her coffee behind.

"Hide if you want, but I will find out!" She called, watching their retreating backs. She glanced over and saw both Morgan and Hotch conversing quietly. They, too, saw Emily and Rossi walking away, unsure what to think about that.

They stepped into the office and Emily was surprised to see Reid there. He immediately got to his feet, eyeing her with care and caution, making her feel rather exposed. "Reid," She said, nonchalant, and gave a calm smile, one that could easily fool an outsider, but not the man behind her. "What's going on?"

"There's something we need to talk about." Reid clarified. He held his hand out to her to take hers. "You'd better sit down."

Emily didn't accept his offer, eyeing it suspiciously. "What's so serious? Is… something wrong? Is another girl dead?"

"No, but this isn't anything we should take lightly. Why don't we all sit." Rossi explained. There were two more chairs against the wall, facing the two before the desk. Emily took the empty one between the two men while Reid, too, got himself comfortable.

"Emily," Rossi began. He folded one leg across his lap, his folded hands resting on his knee. "I think it's important that close friends are honest with each other, don't you?"

He was trying to manipulate her, she'd seen him do it countless times on suspects as well as victims whose stories just didn't seem to match up to the evidence. He knew, at least something, and she began to fear what Reid had told him. "Yes."

He made no mention of their private relationship, instead studied her for a long moment before he spoke. "There seem to be some missing pieces to the puzzle that have yet to come to light… and I think it's important everyone here knows about it, don't you?"

She glanced at Reid, seeing him fidget uncomfortably, avoiding her gaze. They couldn't have known what she'd already discovered, but both of them must have had a suspicion. Perhaps Reid had even mentioned one.

"You're right," She nodded. "I never honestly thought it would be connected… until my pin was taken."

At that, Reid looked up. "What are you talking about?"

She met his eyes sadly before glancing at Rossi as she began, "Well… it was about three weeks ago… that morning before we left for Eastlake, when I wanted to talk to you."

All he gave her was a subtle nod. "Before I left… I found something on my desk… it was a long, white… velvet glove."

"Oh," Reid answered, remembering. He sat up with interest. "And you the got the second one last Thursday, right?"

"Yeah," Emily agreed. "A matching pair, but I have no idea what it means."

With a sudden epiphany, Reid cried out. "Wait… three weeks ago… didn't the murders start three weeks ago?"

"I believe so," Rossi answered. "It could be a clue as to why he's doing this. We already know these girls aren't anyone you know, and most likely they don't run in your mother's circle. So the gloves have to be something that connects you to the unsub. Someone from your childhood."

"How did you figure that out?" She cried, looking from one to the other.

"Because each of the victims were stabbed sixteen times in the chest." Reid explained. "You yourself said your grandmother's brooch was given to you at sixteen."

Rossi had a sudden idea. "Pardon me for asking, Emily, but… could this possibly be John Cooley? I know you haven't spoken to him in a long time, is there any… unfinished business between you two?"

Emily glanced at Reid. He remembered John Cooley from that case several years ago, back when her good friend Matthew Benton had died. Rossi was the only other soul in the world who knew what happened… not even her own mother. Emily was not about to reveal to the man she was falling in love with about the boy who got her pregnant as a teenager.

"I haven't spoken to John since I saw him at the hospital after we saved him." She said truthfully. "I told him if he needed me, he was welcomed to call… but I didn't think it was best we kept in touch. All our business was concluded when we were fifteen."

"He could still hold a grudge. Maybe we're wrong about the age." Rossi decided.

"No, it has to be sixteen." Reid shook his head. "That's when Emily had her debutante party."

They looked at him in shock, as if they'd just learned Spencer Reid had been stalking Emily for all these years. A rather impossible feat since he would have been six at the time.

She had never told anyone she'd had a debutante party, an event she agreed to just to make her mother happy. A year she spent wrapped with guilt over what she had done, just before she slipped into her gothic phase.

"How do you know I was a debutante?" She wondered, a bit defensive.

"You told me. Monday night… you said you got your grandmother's pin when you came out." He explained. "Since I know you're not homosexual, nor is it common to receive gifts when a child reveals his or her sexuality, I can only assume the term is meant to mean coming out to society."

She stared, opened mouthed at him for a long time. Turning to Rossi, she shook his head. "He still never ceases to amaze me."

"Funny thing about people," Rossi kindly said. "We mention all kinds of clues about ourselves to others, yet without a perfect memory, we never remember any of them."

"Very true," Reid agreed. "The white gloves would connect with that, since girls are required to wear them along with the white dress. Did you have a pair similar to those?"

That's when Emily became very quiet, her throat instantly prickly and dry. "Uh… actually… if I didn't know better… I'd say those were the exact same ones."

"How do you mean?" Rossi asked.

"I wore a pair of velvet white gloves." She explained, glancing at the men. They weren't impressed, it didn't sound too uncommon. "And… wow, I haven't thought about this in a long time, but… I lost those gloves that night. My mother wanted my dress so she could have it stored away and when I went to find the gloves that morning… they were gone."

"Where did you take them off?" Reid wondered.

She scowled at him. "Where do you think I took them off? In my… bedroom…"

At that, her face suddenly fell and her complexion became ashen. She had taken them off in her bedroom that night… and rapidly remembered she hadn't been alone. For the first time in almost 25 years, Emily thought of someone she'd all but forgotten.

"I think… I might know who it is." She admitted. Her entire body had gone cold, like she'd suddenly plunged into the freezing ocean. "In fact… I'm fairly certain."

"Who?" The men chorused, waiting with equaled expectation.

Emily hadn't thought about him in a long time… a very long time. She could still remember the last time she saw him… she could practically feel their last kiss together… when she broke his heart.

"Emily," Reid urged, pulling her attention to him. She met his eyes and her feelings were mixed with remorse for her old love and the passion for her new.

"If I'm right… his name is Collin Sutter." She explained, never breaking from Reid's gaze. "He was… the first boy I ever loved."

"I thought that was Stevie Besslemen." Reid said, slightly teasing.

She let out a nervous laugh, but shook her head. "I mean real love… my high school sweetheart."

"How long ago since you last saw him?" Rossi questioned.

"If I remember correctly, it was the day before I left for Yale." She explained. The memory floated in her minds eye and she couldn't see anyone around her. Folding her arms, she leaned on her knees, her eyes dark and lost. "But we broke up a few years before that.

"I had to get away from Rome." She said vaguely. "I begged my mother to let me live with my father in San Francisco for awhile. I needed a change of scenery and as badly as I despised my stepmother… it seemed the perfect escape.

"Collin's mother was the maid. He was such a sweet boy, that's why it's so hard to believe it could be him. He was so smart, he was trying to get into Stanford. I'd come home from school every day and… he'd be sitting at the kitchen table, pouring over his school books…" She grinned at Reid, blushing a bit. "Come to think of it… he reminds me a lot of you."

Reid tried to smile, but it was difficult. It didn't matter how she praised him, if Collin Sutter was the man after her… he hated him.

"I always caught him looking at me in my school uniform." She said sadly with a shake of her head. "I wasn't offended… he was a teenage boy, it was understandable. And he was so shy about it, it was cute. One day we started talking and… we became really good friends.

"It wasn't a friendship that traveled too far. We both ran in different circles. We didn't even go to the same school… but in our brief time together, we grew fairly close. I trusted him more than any other person in the world." At last, she looked over, finding Reid's worried face. "Present company excluded."

"And you feel in love with him?" Reid questioned, a hint of jealousy in his voice.

"I wouldn't necessarily say I 'fell' in love… but he was my first real love." She corrected. "My mother came from Rome when it was time for my coming out party. I did not want to do it, but I already felt ashamed about what happened last year. Even though she didn't know about it, I felt I owed it to her."

Reid was confused. "What happened?"

Horrified, she turned to him again. Emily didn't want to lie, but she certainly didn't want him to know. Not now anyway. There would be a time she'd have to tell him, but it didn't have to be today. "A story for another time." She said quickly. "Anyway, my stepmother arranged one of the boys from my prep school to be my escort. The son of a friend of hers, and we were pretty much rivals, all because I didn't fall for his cheesy lines and cosmetic smile. I was lucky when he had to drop out at the last minute. It almost seemed like I couldn't have the party at all, until my mother said I could always go with my cousin. I could only imagine the ridicule so… I suggested Collin."

"I take it they weren't too keen on that idea?" Rossi mentioned.

"Not at first, but we were in a pinch. And Collin cleaned up very nice… it was the first time I noticed how handsome he was. My grandmother gave me the brooch right before the party and… me and the other girls were presented. Collin was… flawless. All the girls wanted to know who he was, I felt like I was on the arm of a movie star. The night was a stuffy and outdated affair, but Collin… he made it actually made it fun." She closed her eyes and sighed. "I should have left well enough alone."

"Something happened afterward?" Wondered Reid.

"Well…" She said, a little ashamed. "After a few hours, we snuck away… we got in his car and drove. I knew my house was empty so we went back there… it was our place to hang out, after all. We… went to the kitchen and talked… and talked… and then he kissed me. One thing led to another and we ended up in my bedroom." She glanced at Rossi. "It was the first time I was with someone I really cared about… and, it was Collin's first time… ever." Emily breathed a long sigh. "I guess that's why he got so confused."

"Did you date?" Pressed Reid. He didn't like her talking about him so fondly… but then it hit him. This must be exactly how Collin feels now seeing her with him.

"For a little while." She explained. "It was nice, but… I was still so emotionally twisted, I didn't know who I was. I started drifting down this dark path, I was rebelling and… Collin didn't like it. It wasn't like I expected him to follow, but I couldn't take him looking down on me… when I was so lost. He was already talking about marriage and babies and all I wanted was freedom. Looking back now… I can see how he was trying to help me. It didn't work out. When you push a person away so many times… eventually he's just not there anymore. By the time you realize it… it's too late. We broke up and he stopped coming to the house. My mother was transferred to London and went to live with her… I officially lost him."

"But you did speak again?" Said Rossi.

"Yes… it was the day before I left for Yale. Collin never got into Stanford, but he was about to start at The University of Massachusetts. He knew I was in town seeing my father before the semester started and called to see if I'd like to meet for coffee." She explained. "I agreed… I wanted to see him again. After time, feelings like that fade, but he was important to me. I loved him… I wanted us to leave on a good note, maybe keep in touch… It was an absolute disaster."

She shuddered as she felt something warm take her hand and she realized Reid had reached over. For a nanosecond, she grew fearful of Rossi's watchful eye, but it faded as she found strength in his eyes. She bit her lip for a minute as she watched him, staring at her. She knew he loved her… he didn't need to say it, it was understood. Why she deserved the love of this wonderful man was a mystery.

"I… I met him… and at first, we had some small talk. We discussed how school had turned out… he was pleased to see I wasn't a goth anymore, and that offended me a little." She chuckled a moment. It seemed so foolish now. "And then he got to the main point. He admitted that he never stopped loving me… and he knew it would be hard, but he was going to try to transfer to Yale the next fall, then we could be together. He had this long, powerful speech about how we were meant for each other, that our love was strong and deep and could stand the test of time." Remembering that moving dialogue, Emily felt tears in her eyes. "It was a very beautiful speech… and it made me realize I didn't love him. I never could love him that way.

"I told him that, as gently as possible, but he pleaded with me. I may not see it now, but if I just took some time, I'd see the truth, too. One day, we would be together… he didn't want me to waste time when we could have a lifetime."

"So what did you do?" Rossi wondered.

"He was begging me… pleading with me…" She shook her head. "He was really starting to scare me, he was almost hysterical to get him to see the truth. I urged him to stop. I told him that I would always think of him fondly, that a part of me would always love him. He had made an impact on my life that has changed me forever… but I just didn't feel for him like that. I knew I never would."

"He kept pleading, but I told him I had to go. I gave him one last kiss… I told him I was sorry and that I would always be there if he needed me… and then I left. I never looked back."

"You never do." Reid added.

"Not if I know it's over." She corrected. "I never heard from him again. I heard his mother died last year. I sent flowers, but that was it."

An epiphany struck Rossi. "That could have been the trigger. We can only guess what happened in his life over the years. My guess would be after all this time, with no contact, he had no other choice but to stay away. After all this time, those feelings have festered. It's probably effected every relationship he ever had. Then you sent him flowers and he thinks perhaps you're feelings have changed. When he comes here to surprise you, he's determined not to let you get away this time."

"He's infiltrating your world." Reid clarified. "He's been watching you, following you… he has to know your routine."

"And it's gotten so frustrating, his tension and anger are building up where he can't control it." Rossi went on. "That's why he's going after similar women. But, since he loves you, he won't physically rape them himself… he wants to remain pure for you. In his mind, it makes his love more real."

Emily wasn't sure what to feel. In a way, she was relieved because she knew who to watch out for. There was no way she'd seen Collin, she'd recognize him immediately. Then again, it didn't ease her anxiety over this. Despite what she and others had tried to tell her, Emily blamed herself for Matthew Benton's eventual downfall. Now, here was another man who's life had spiraled out of control… because of her.

That's when her eyes came up and landed on Reid… did she really want to go three for three?

"It all makes sense now." He shook his head. "How he knew about Rawson, why he took the pin, how he knew the perfect moment to break the window-"

Confused. "What window?"

At that, he suddenly stopped. He hadn't wanted to tell her at all, but if he had to, he wanted to be a bit more subtle. It was out of the bag now, though, there was no going back.

Looking over at her, Reid fought with himself to get to find the right words. "You mean on Saturday night? You told me it was vandalism… that it was just kids."

There was a long, edgy silence as Reid tried to talk. At long last, he managed to speak slowly. Very slowly. "Someone threw a brick in the window… there was a note attached to it."

She cleared her throat, quickly and nervously pushing a piece of hair back. "What did the note say?"

"Emily-"

"What… did… it say?" She demanded angrily.

After letting a huff, he answered. "All it said was… 'she's mine'… written in the blood of two victims."

Her jaw fell as her eyes widened to twice their size. "And you didn't think to mention that to me, Spencer?"

"I didn't want to scare you." Reid urged, reaching his hand out to her. At his touch, she wrenched her arm away so quickly, as if it burned her.

"I can't believe you lied to me." She cried, her shock had lifted and found herself utterly disgusted. It wasn't the first time a man had lied to her… but the fact it came from him.

She, however, was able to keep a clear head without losing her temper. She slowly got to her feet, avoiding the watchful eyes of either men in the room.

"There is a lot I could say about this, but… I don't want to say anything I'll regret."

"Emily, please." Reid urged, also getting to his feet. "Let me explain it. You have to understand, I have a rational reason why I didn't tell you."

"I don't care, Spencer! You should have told me! I'm an adult, not some five year old who's scared of the dark." She leaned back, surveying him for a moment. "Then again, I guess you don't have to be five to still be scared of that, right?"

"Hey!" Reid defensively cried. "That was cruel. Would you please just stop and listen to me?"

No, she wouldn't. And had no intention of starting to soon. She turned to Rossi, who was at last standing from his chair. "Dave… I'm sorry, but I need to get out of here. I'll tell Hotch I need to take the day, can I trust you to relay this to the team?"

"Absolutely." He said. "Maybe Reid should go with you."

"No, thank you." She said, shooting a glare at him. Without another word, she turned and hurried out the door.

Reid wasn't about to give up so easily. He glanced at Rossi a second before, without uttering a syllable, ran after her.

"Emily," He hissed, grabbing her arm. She turned to face him, her eyes burning with fire and ice. A dangerous look that made him fearful and desire her at the same time. "Please don't go."

Luckily, the rest of the team couldn't see them. There were several cops mixed with the agents, but no one seemed to be paying them any mind. No one was looking on suspicious. "Why didn't you tell me? Did you think I would be too scared? Or were just hoping you could get me into bed one more time that night?"

"Of course not!" He urged. "I'm sorry, now I realize I should have done it… I was just trying to protect you. I've seen how you act when you get scared. You're so brave… but you do everything in your power so as not to frighten or burden the people you love… I wanted to take that burden for you."

That was touching, and she almost forgave him. But she couldn't. Looking away, she shook her head. "Spencer…" she pulled away from him, backing up. "The truth is you lied to me. You, the person I trust more than anyone I've ever known, even before I ever had feelings for you, lied to me. And while your intentions may have been good… it still hurts. I'm not sure I can ever trust you again."

"You can!" Reid pushed. "Please, let's talk this out. We'll both take the day-"

"No, don't you dare come with me." She ordered. "I need to be with myself right now. I know you'll be worried, but I'll be fine. Because I can take care of myself, believe it or not. I will call you in a couple of days when I have things figured out, so if you care about me at all, you will stay away from me."

For one last second, their eyes met. It was unbearable to see the hurt in his eyes. It wasn't fair, why did these things have to keep happening. Why couldn't they just be together and be happy and in love? Something just kept getting in the way. Maybe it was a sign, that no matter how much they wanted this, how much they loved each other… they just couldn't be together.

She turned and walked quickly and determinedly back to the break room. Reid wanted to run after her, to claim her lips and kiss her. To tell her, no matter how she felt, he loved her and always would. She had been the center of his world for so long and nothing was going to change that. He couldn't though. Once again, he let her slip from his grasp. He watched until she was out of sight, but never out of mind.


	18. You Belong to Me

_Reid had been brought out of the bunker. He stood in the chapel, watching as the other libertarians took their seats. Cyrus stood up front, but Reid wasn't listening to a word he said. All he could think about was Emily. Where was she, what had that monster done to her… was she even still alive?_

_It was foolish to be in love with her, that would be anyone's advice. Agents couldn't date, but even if the rules were different, he and Emily would never be together. For one thing, he was ten years younger than she. For another, she was from a completely different social class, and she was flawlessly beautiful. She had the most amazing personality and a sense of humor to boot. A girl like her would never want to be with him. But the truth of it didn't matter… he couldn't help but be in love with her._

_That's why it hurt so much as he watched her be dragged away by her hair. She did it to save him, and she tried to be brave, but he would never forget the fear in his eyes. That quick moment their eyes met, and with that fear, he saw something else… as if to say she did this for him._

_Amazingly, he remained impassive as he waited, wanted neither the filthy leader nor his mindless loyals to realize the truth of the situation. He kept glancing at the door, his heart skipping a beat every time he saw a woman with ebony hair walk in… only to be disappointed to find he was mistaken._

_And then… there she was. Emily Prentiss herself. She walked in and remained in the back, leaning against the wall. A sharp pain began to pierce through Reid's chest as he looked at her. What had that animal done to her? Reid wanted to kill him. He wanted to walk up there and strangle him with his bare hands._

_His concern right now was for Emily. Slowly, he walked over to her, his eyes lingering on the bruises on her face… the dried blood on her shirt… the hollowness of her beautiful brown eyes._

_She glanced at him, "He looks pissed." She mentioned, looking back._

_Reid couldn't say a word, just stared at her and the mess of her face. She must be in so much pain. Emily glanced back over, realizing why he couldn't take his eyes off her. With a sympathetic look, she shook her head. "It's not as bad as it looks."_

"_I'm so sorry," He muttered, hating himself more and more by the minute. She continued to shake her head, begging him to understand. Reid just couldn't… he couldn't accept the fact that she went through this because of him. What kind of a man was he? He couldn't even protect her._

_Emily's interest couldn't waver from the mission at hand. "Look at who he's releasing." She indicated._

_Reid turned to look, listening to the names. He remembered immediately. "It's the ones who failed the loyalty taste." He said. "I'll get word to the team. Wait for a sign from outside to indicate what time the raid will come."_

_Emily agreed. That was it. That was all they had._

_Reid walked away without a second look. He had never felt so powerless in his life, abandoning the woman he loved. It was good thing he could never have; he didn't deserve her._

_Walking to Cyrus he said, very convincingly. "I told her she shouldn't have lied to you like that."_

"_To either of us." Cyrus said._

_Reid met his gaze. His nod told him he agreed while his eyes shouted his hatred for the man. Reid was a good person, he did not like to hurt people. He wanted criminals to pay for what they did behind bars, only when absolutely necessary bring them down with a gun. It was the first time he ever wanted to kill a man. And if he got the chance, he was going to do it. For Emily.  
><em>

_They both looked at her, and he could Cyrus wanted to beat her for a second time. Emily looked so lost and alone. Reid watched as she was pulled away, far from where he could help her, far from where he could comfort her. For the first time in his life, he wished there was definitive proof there was a God because it seemed only He could get them through this and bring them back together._

She had told him to stay away. That she needed time to think. Reid agreed and therefore he was giving her space. He wouldn't cross the line unless he had to, but he'd be damned if he was going to make the same mistake. Last time he let her get hurt, he had not other choice. It was either let her go or they both die. Not this time.

Reid kept staring at his phone. All day, there wasn't a single call. He was hoping Emily would have cooled down by now and called or texted him. Until she did, he wouldn't disturb her. He was just worried about her, but any form of communication would be interpreted as obsessive or overprotective or needy. He would have to wait her out.

But it wasn't all he could do. She'd be furious if she knew he was here right now, but it was for her own good. Reid would be damned if he let that happen again. No one was going to touch her as long as he was still breathing.

* * *

><p>Emily was livid. How dare he? The one man she thought she could trust in the world had lied to her. She'd been lied to many times, including by boyfriends, and it was usually to hide some shame or indiscretion he'd committed. For some reason, Reid lying to her to protect her seemed so much worse. Like he thought she was too weak to take care of herself.<p>

The crime unit had cleared her apartment that morning. First she made a quick stop at Reid's to get her things and her cat. Sergio would have been safe there, and the black kitten was becoming very fond of his new daddy, but Emily just preferred to bring him home. She needed the company.

She made it back to her apartment by noon, left a mess first by the break in and then by the crime team. It would take ages to clean up this place, and that seemed the perfect distraction. After putting on a pot of coffee, Emily set right to work, her mind abuzz with what had happened. No matter how she looked at this situation, no matter how she tried to contemplate the new evidence they'd just uncovered, one single fact kept surfacing in her mind, distracting her. _He lied to me._

She knew it was his nature. Reid was a very protective person, and he did it because he was in love with her. He would have done this no matter who he was in love with… but Emily didn't easily open up to people. It was hard enough to be so defenseless with him as it was. If they got through this, how was she ever supposed to look at him and not wonder if he was keeping something from her now? What if this happened again? What if Reid got himself into danger? What if he got sick? Was he just going to keep his mouth so she could have a blissful existence? As she much as she wanted him, she didn't want that.

Nor did she want her friends obsessing over this either. It was important to find the man who killed these women, and they were distracted from it protecting her, just like Reid was. Emily loved them for that, but there was bigger picture here. She was beginning to think as long as she was here, they'd never catch this guy.

She loved Reid, and she loved her friends… but maybe it would be better if she took the burden off them. Let Collin come to her and deal with him on her own. She was good at doing things on her own, she knew how to handle that. And when it was done, she come back and… figure out how to piece things back together.

The more she considered it, the better the idea became. By the time she finished cleaning the downstairs and drank the first pot of coffee, her mind was made up. She'd get a good night's sleep tonight and get up early. She'd back a bag and leave before sunrise, leaving Angela with both Sergio and a note for Reid. A letter telling him that she cared for him, but she had to deal with this on her own. When she came back, they would figure out how to go forward from here… if they could forward. And a strict warning not to look for her. If he did, they were over.

The carpet upstairs was starting to smell like mold thanks to all the water. She wasn't going to fix that problem tonight, it would have to wait until she came back. Maybe, if she left a credit card with Angela, she could ask her to have it replaced for her.

That smell had to be even worse upstairs, it was probably best to leave the upstairs for when she returned. Slowly, she headed up to get a hot shower, then grab some sheets and blankets to sleep on the couch tonight. When she came down, she'd order dinner and spend the rest of the night writing her carefully worded message to Reid.

As she made it to the top of the stairs, she was relieved to see the carpet was dry… and surprisingly, the mold smell wasn't so bad up here. Maybe it was coming from something downstairs. Whatever it was, she'd deal with it when she came back. No point in obsessing over it now.

Her room was clean, to her surprise. The floor had been swept up and gleamed like it had been freshly waxed. The sheets on her bed had been changed, too. That was odd. She knew the crime scene unit had to take the old ones since the unsub had ejaculated in them, but… why would they remake the bed? That wasn't in their requirements.

There was something suspicious about all this. Emily walked over to the bed, stepping around it as if looking over a dead body. From first look, it seemed perfectly normal, made the exact way she liked it. She could tell, however perfect it seemed, there was something wrong with it.

That's when it hit her… even if the crime team had put the fresh sheets on, how would they know how to make her bed? Two pillows under the sheets and two over? The sheets tucked in all around, but the blanket kept out and the afghan Garcia had made her folded neatly at the bottom… it was too perfect. There was only one person she could think of who could have done this and he'd been with her almost every second over the last few days… so who else was there?

As she got closer, she recoiled back. That mold smell… it wasn't too strong, but it seemed to be rising off the blankets.

At first, she thought it was her imagination. Her warped mind playing tricks on her. Music had began to play by one of her favorite artists… that whenever she heard him now, she thought of Reid. But this wasn't their song… this was a different one and it sent a chill down her spine. The music flowed up the stairs, the familiar intro… and as the lyrics started to play, Emily felt a shiver go down her spine.

_Every breath you take  
><em>_Every move you make  
><em>_Every bond you break  
><em>_Every step you take  
><em>_I'll be watching you_

The stereo was playing downstairs. On light feet, Emily stepped away from her bed to the bedroom door. Leaning against the doorframe, she listened to the song. It was a powerful piece of music, one that seemed to start as man confessing his love … only to reveal it was a stalker speaking of his longing to possession the another. Emily could feel herself trembling as her hand gripped the door frame.

_Every single day  
><em>_Every word you say  
><em>_Every game you play  
><em>_Every night you stay  
><em>_I'll be watching you_

Someone was in her home… and he knew she was listening. He was trying to get under her skin, telling her she was his and she was not going to get away.

_Oh can't you see  
><em>_You belong to me  
><em>_Now my poor heart aches  
><em>_With every step you take_

Bracing herself, Emily stepped into the hallway. She kept herself pressed against the wall, not wanting to make a creak on any of the floorboards. There were a few that always made a squeak when she stepped on them and thanks to the water, they were even weaker.

Her hand instantly went to her back to grab her gun, only finding it wasn't there. She swore under her breath, remembering she'd set it by the coffee maker when she took a break earlier. So not only was she unarmed, but her intruder most likely had her weapon now. She wasn't beaten yet, though. The wisest move would be to try and sneak past him out the front door, run down to first floor and call Reid from the lobby's pay phone. Despite her feelings, she wished he was here now. Emily felt so alone.

_Every move you make  
><em>_Every vow you break  
><em>_Every smile you fake  
><em>_Every claim you stake  
><em>_I'll be watching you_

As she glided across the hall, she took a deep breath to calm her nerves. She almost choked, that smell of mold had gotten more powerful… how could that be? Could her stepping on the carpet have shaken the fibers enough to make the smell come out?

A second before it happened, she realized it wasn't the carpet at all.

Emily let out a sharp cry as she moved passed the open door of the guestroom. Something grabbed her around the middle, pulling her against him. At once, her instincts kicked in and she began to fight him off, punching him in the stomach to get him off her. It had barely been enough for her to break free. He didn't even buckle over.

Emily moved closer to the steps but stopped, ready to fight him. Assuming he had her gun, she knew she wouldn't get away before he was able to shoot. She realized too late though, that'd she'd been wrong. He must have seen she didn't have her weapon and figured he could take her down with his own two hands… or else was too cocky to think she could defeat him. How wrong he was.

_Since you've gone, I've been lost without a trace.  
><em>_I dream at night, I can only see your face  
><em>_I look around but it's you I can't replace  
><em>_I feel so cold and I long for your embrace  
><em>_I keep calling baby, baby please…_

He caught his breath quickly, standing straight and tall. Emily looked into the face of the man she hadn't seen in almost twenty five years. Yet, if she had to guess, he was exactly as she expected him to look. Long and lanky, not much build to his body. He didn't wear glasses anymore, but his face was the same. She recognized those familiar blue eyes and jet black hair. He was classically handsome… a look no one could get unless he was born with it. He wore ill fitting clothing, as if he had a body that didn't fit the average man's build. His shoes were Nikie sneakers. It was incredibly eerie, the similarities. If Emily didn't know better… she would believe he had mismatched socks on underneath.

"Collin," she muttered, backing away, desperate to run to the stairs.

"Emily," He said with a smile. "Oh… I have missed you."

She hid her fear perfectly, appearing brave and able. Her eyes kept a constant watch on his body, ready for any flinch of a muscle to indicate he was coming at her.

"What are you doing here?" She demanded, her eyes hard and cold, desperate not to show her fear.

"I came for you." His voice was different, however. Slow and smooth, very manipulative. Something about it was familiar, though. It wasn't like the one she remembered as a young girl, though she recently she'd heard it somewhere. Close to her… he'd certainly been watching her.

_Oh can't you see?  
><em>_You belong to me  
><em>_How my poor heart aches  
><em>_With every step you take_

"You don't recognize me, do you?" He asked, sounding hurt.

"Should I?" She asked, defensive.

"Oh, Emily…" He shook his head. "Even when I'm right in front of you, you can't see me. You never could see how I feel… but that's over now. I'm not making the same mistake this time. I'm not going to let you get away."

"You can't keep me, Collin." She made another step for the stairs, but froze as she saw he moved with her. If she tried to run, he'd come after her. She was going to have to fight him.

"But we're meant for each other." He argued. Anger began boiling in his eyes. "I knew it back then, when I watched you walk away. I'm even more certain of it now. We're going to be together. After tonight no one will ever separate us again."

_Every move you make  
><em>_Every vow you break  
><em>_Every smile you fake  
><em>_Every claim you stake  
><em>_I'll be watching you_

Emily had a good idea what he meant by that. She thought she heard the creak of a door hinge, but the music was so loud, it had to be playing tricks on her. There was no one else here. He took another step towards her… if she struck now, she'd immediately get the upper hand.

Without another word, she went on the attack. It lasted only a minute as something wet struck Emily's face. She screamed in pain, her eyes burning like he'd thrown hot embers onto her face.

She couldn't see, she couldn't even think but for anything but the pain. Her body moved on it's own, trying to get away. As his hands went to her middle, Emily screamed again and shoved him off her. Flying blind, she forgot the steps were so close, she lost her footing and tumbled down… down… down to the first floor.

_Every move you make  
><em>_Every step you take  
><em>_I'll be watching you_

"Ugh…" She moaned, landing on her arm. Along with the burning of her eyes, her wrist was shooting with pain from being twisted in the wrong direction and then landed on.

The footsteps coming towards her were slow and steady, as if he wanted to savor the moment. In a moment, she felt someone grab hold of her body, turning her to lay on her back. "No!" She screamed sharply, and blindly tried to kick him away. Collin was much too strong. He pinned her arms over her head, clutching to her wrists, sending even more pain through her injured one. So great, she almost blacked out.

No matter how much she screamed and fought, she couldn't get him off her. He rested his weight on her, leaning into her ear.

"You're mine," He said. "You always have been… you always will be…"

"Get off me!" Emily screamed, flailing in her painful darkness, still unable to open her eyes. It hurt so much. She wanted to cry, but the tears weren't coming. She kept fighting and screaming for help, but she was so alone. No one was coming to her.

And then, a miracle happened. The weight on her was yanked away. She heard Collin cry out as he was knocked aside. It wasn't enough to stop him though, because he got to his feet. "What the hell are you doing here? You can't save her. She belongs to me, not you."

She sobbed out in relief as the most beautiful voice she'd ever heard answered back. "She doesn't belong to either of us. You can't force her to love you."

"She does love me, she just doesn't know it! You lose!" Collin yelled at him, and then there was a distinct sound of a fist punching a someone's face. Emily rolled onto her stomach, groping in the dark for something to pull herself up. She couldn't just lay here. He needed her help.

Another loud force knocked someone as the fight moved around her apartment. She gasped each time she heard him gasp in pain, but he held his own. From the sound of it, he was putting up a good fight, too. There was a loud crash and the music suddenly stopped, like someone's body had been thrown into the shelf the stereo sat.

The struggle concluded as she heard a gun shot. Emily screamed again, terrified. The blast faded into silence… not a breath was heard.

"Reid?" She asked, terrified. Nothing. Not a breath, not a whimper… nothing. "Reid! Reid, answer me!"

Emily's hand found the leg of the side table and she helped herself sit up. The pain in her body was so great, she couldn't think straight. She was beginning to fear she'd never see again… but that was nothing compared to what was happening around her. Where were they? What had happened?

The sound of someone coming back into her apartment was heard. The man was walking towards her… lowering himself down… she didn't smell mold, but she certainly didn't smell books and coffee, either.

Two hands grabbed her arms, "No!" She screamed, fighting with all her might. "Let me go! Let me… go!"

"Emily!" Reid called soothingly, putting his arms around her. "It's alright. It's alright, it's me."

She stopped fighting, realizing she was safe. She let out a gasp and started to sob, falling into Reid's embrace. Despite the pain, she leaned on his chest, the sound of his heart thudding rapidly over her cries.

He didn't give her more than a moment to calm down, however. Quickly, he adjusted her in order to lift her up, carrying over to the kitchen.

She kept crying, the adrenaline wearing off and the pain starting to come through. She reached to feel her eyes; a heavy foam on her face that instantly irritated her skin. Oh, God, what did he do to her?

"I… I can't see…" She moaned in her cries.

"I know, just hang a minute." He said and quickly hurried away. She wasn't sure where he went, but was certain he didn't leave the room. There were several thuds and what sounded like another mini struggle before he returned in a moment.

"Lean your head back." He ordered and Emily complied without complaint. She cringed as something thick and moist oozed over her eyes. She instinctively shut her mouth so as not to swallow it. Whatever it was, it smelled wonderful.

Reid stepped away again and she heard him turn on the faucet, filling a glass of water. He returned, pouring some onto her face before washing it away with a cloth, building a lather.

"Try blinking," He ordered. "You need to make tears to fight through that stuff."

Emily obeyed and started to blink rapidly. Before long, the pain began to subside a little and soon found she could keep her eyes open longer. She at last saw her savior, squatting beside her as he continued wiping at her face.

"You are a sight for sore eyes." She sobbed. "Literally."

He smiled. "He hit you with pepper spray. And some pretty powerful stuff by the looks of it." He moistened his cloth again, continuing the wipe the foam of both the spray and the substance away. "You should be alright, but we'd better go to the emergency room."

"Where's Collin?" She asked, fearful. "Did he hurt you?"

"He hit me with a few good punches, but I managed to get out my gun." He explained. She winced lightly at the sight of a fresh cut on his lip, dripping a few drops of blood. "I didn't think to grab it before I pulled him off you… once I had it up, I took a shot. From what I could see, I got him in the arm. He took off… I tried to run after him, but he got away down the stairwell… my bigger concern was you, so I came back."

She argued, "You should have gone after him."

"He's not going to get that far. Eventually, he'll have to head to the hospital to treat that wound. I'll call Rossi to meet us at the hospital and have him put all the emergency rooms on alert." He insisted. "It's going to be okay."

Emily wasn't so sure she believed that… but she couldn't stop herself from trusting him. "You got here… in just the nick of time. How did you know I'd need help?" She asked. The tears were falling freely now.

He let out a scoff. "Did you really think I was going to stay away? I knew you were in danger, Emily… I wasn't going to let anyone get to you. I took the day off, too, drove over here and have been sitting outside your building for hours. I saw a person waiting outside and slip in when one of your neighbors left. Something about it seemed suspicious, so I followed him inside."

Reid wasn't about to reveal the real reason why he knew to follow that man in. Emily didn't need that right now. He knew he'd have to tell her, but after she was done at the hospital.

Emily let out a sigh. If she'd learned that an hour ago, she'd have been furious… now she knew she'd never be able to repay him for this. "I told you if you cared about me to stay away… that was really stupid."

"I would have stayed away if I cared about you, like you said." He informed. At that, he stopped his work and met her eyes. Hazel was much more beautiful than blue. "I don't just care about you… I love you, Emily."

She gasped at that, more tears flying out. She opened her mouth to reply, but Reid shook his head. "Don't… I only said it because it's how I feel… this is not the moment I want us to remember as when we first said we love each other."

"Okay," She answered. She swallowed her words and leaned closer to him. "Thank you."

"Anytime," he answered, pressing a kiss to her drenched forehead. "Let's get you cleaned up and then we'll go to the hospital. That wrist needs to be looked at."

She agreed and let him continue gently wiping her face. Her eyes still hurt, but it was to a much lesser degree. "What is this stuff, anyway?"

"Baby shampoo." He explained.

She let out a snort, "You carry baby shampoo in that bag?"

"I have a first aid kit and I keep it in there in anticipation for minor injuries on a everyday basis, which happens to have an assortment of usual and unusual supplies." He said, wetting the cloth another time. He was almost done. "My third case with the BAU, I got hit with pepper spray by the unsub's wife. Morgan still teases me about it. I was taken to the hospital and the nurse washed my eyes out with baby shampoo. Ever since then, I carry it, just in case."

"And a good thing," Emily said. She was starting to calm down, though the tears were still falling freely. Her body was aching from the fall down the stairs and her wrist was throbbing… yet it was much better than the alternative… she'd have died tonight if it weren't for him. Maybe she couldn't do this alone.

"There," Reid smiled, setting the water and cloth aside. "They'll clean you up better at the hospital, but at least most of that stuff is out of the way. Just keep blinking, it'll help clear what's left in your eyes."

"Okay," She nodded. "I must look a mess."

Indeed, she did. Her face was red like she was wearing a bright masquerade mask, her eyes were pink and bloodshot, tears and snot were slathered on her face. Water and soap had sloshed into her hair and onto her shirt, but despite all of it, Reid gave her smile. "You look beautiful, as always. Come on."

Before she could say anything, Reid reached and gently lifted her into the air again. Her arms went around his neck, treating her injured wrist gingerly.

"I think I can walk, you know." She said with a smile.

He gave her a light scowl. "Would you just shut up and let me take care of you, please?"

With a smirk, she answered. "I guess." He gave her a satisfied smile before they moved closer, meeting in a quick, chaste kiss, mindful of his cut. Leaving his bag behind, he closed and locked the door, carrying her down to the car.

* * *

><p>AN: The song is "Every Breath You Take" By Sting (I like Sting, if you haven't guessed yet.) I've been listening to this song a lot while I've been writing this story.


	19. Run Away

Emily lay on the exam table. A nursing student gave her a rubber band to pull back her messy hair. All she wanted was to go home and soak in a hot tub… but that might not be possible.

Since Reid wasn't family, he had to wait outside for her. He agreed, not wanting to keep her from getting checked over. She'd never forget that look of worry and loss as the orderly wheeled her away in the chair. She wished he was here, she did not want to be alone. The shadows moved on the other side of the curtain and her disturbed mind kept messing with them, making her believe Collin was on the other side… any second, he was going to rip it back and come at her for round two. And where was Spencer this time?

She literally jumped as the curtain was whipped away. It was only the doctor, a nurse right behind her.

"Alright, Miss Prentiss, I think everything is in order." The doctor said kindly. She finished writing on a small pad and ripped the page away. "I don't think a pain killer will be necessary, but I'm prescribing you a light sedative, it'll help you relax. You need your rest."

Emily reached with her left hand to take the prescription. "Thank you," She muttered. Her eyes landed on light blue cast wrapped around half of her forearm. She let out a sigh, wondering if twenty years ago, a fall down the stairs would have resulted in a break.

"There are a few bruises and bumps, but nothing that some rest and a heating pad won't cure." She said kindly. "Just take it easy over the next few days."

"I can't believe someone broke into your house." The nurse said, standing in the back, not doing much of anything. Emily wasn't even sure she was needed here. "Did they catch they guy?"

"My boyfriend shot him." Emily mumbled, not really in the mood to talk about this. "He got away, but we have the local hospitals on alert."

"I'll be sure to keep an eye out, too." She said, a bit too eagerly. She wouldn't find this so exciting if she were the one going through it.

"I must say, that was quick thinking on your boyfriend's part, using baby shampoo to clean off the pepper spray." The doctor said, checking over Emily's eyes with a penlight. "He must be pretty smart."

Emily chortled. "You could say that."

"Okay, you look good." The doctor said, clicking off the light. She pulled out her pad again. "I'm a bit concerned about your eyes, though, so I'm going to prescribe you some drops. Take them twice a day or when you're eyes feel dry. If you feel like you're taking them too much, come back in."

"Thank you, Dr. Hoffman." Emily murmured. She'd been through the ringer. Now that the adrenaline had worn off, she just felt numb. She just wanted to get out of here.

"Other than that, you're good to go. We'll schedule a follow-up visit for next week." She handed her a small business card. "If you have any questions or there's an emergency, call me."

"Thank you," She said as she slowly got off the table. Her body ached as she put her weight on the feet. Taking a deep breath, she clutched her prescriptions and walked slowly but surely out to the waiting room.

* * *

><p>Reid's leg was going a mile a minute. He just couldn't seem to sit still. He'd hated letting her go, even if it was just into the emergency room, feeling like he was abandoning her. He found reading through the magazines distracted him a bit, but he ran out after ten minutes. For awhile he tried pacing, but kept getting dirty looks from the receptionist and other patients and finally decided to sit down. Where was she? She'd been back there almost two hours?<p>

"You look like you could use a drink." A voice said beside him. Reid jumped, turning to find Rossi. He'd finally gotten there.

"What took you so long?" Reid demanded.

"Sorry," He said, claiming the seat perpendicular to him. "I had to call the dispatcher to make sure they put all the hospitals on alert for the unsub, then I had to tell Hotch to assemble the team as soon as possible." He looked around. "How long has she been back there?"

"About two hours." He muttered, staring off across the room. "She fell down the steps after he shot her with pepper spray. If I hadn't gotten there when I did…"

His voice trailed off as he shook his head. Rossi noticed the two purplish puffy spots on his face. One on his jaw, the other below his eye. There was also a cut on his lip, which thankfully had clotted. "I see he got a couple good punches in. Are you sure you don't need stitches on that."

"I'm fine." Reid snapped. "I'm not the one you should be worrying about."

"Reid," He became rather serious, "you need to calm down. I know you're upset this happened, but the most important thing is you got there. You saved her, she's alright."

"But for how long?" Reid questioned in anger, meeting his eyes once again. "This guy has been following her… he's been following all of us, no wonder the first of the murders took place weeks apart, he was traveling with the team!"

Rossi was confused. "How do you know that?"

He let out a sigh, completely guilt ridden. Maybe there wasn't a sign there, but he couldn't believe he let this man get that close to her… right in front of him.

He knew he should tell Emily first, but Rossi was right here. Reid explained how he knew that man walking through the front door like he was the building manager was their very unsub.

It was rare for something to stun David Rossi. Though he didn't show it much, his jaw did drop slightly and sprinkle of worry shone in his eyes. "You're sure?"

"I didn't know it at the time, but when I saw him tonight… well, I don't forget faces easily."

"You're sure that was Collin, though?" Rossi demanded to know.

"I am." Reid answered. "I know I'm going to have to tell Emily… she's not going to like it."

"You can't make the same mistake twice." Rossi assured. His mind was bustling. He was following Emily everywhere, including where she went with the team. If that were the case, there were few places she could go short of a maximum security prison where she could go to be safe.

Reid glanced to his right and suddenly jumped up. Rossi turned, seeing Emily come out of the swinging doors, a blue cast wrapped around her wrist. She looked relieved to see both of them, especially Reid.

"It's broken?" He asked, wanting to be sure.

"Hairline fracture." She clarified. "I have to wear this for about six weeks, then physical therapy to get it back to normal. I'm not going to shoot a gun for months."

"Looks like you're out of the field." Rossi noted, giving a light smile. She tried to return it, but her eyes were cloudy and sorrowful. He'd never seen her like this. Emily was not a person was knocked down easily. She came back up and fought even harder to survive. This man wasn't just trying to hurt her, he was robbing her of her strength and confidence… a typical sadists way of making a victim completely his possession. They couldn't let that happen to her.

She looked to Reid and had to keep herself from crying out loud. The bruises glowed distinct in the bright fluorescent lights, his cut a crimson red against his mauve lips. "Wow," She muttered, trying to remain neutral. Her fingers lightly touched his jaw, brushing the injury with her thumb. "You took a real beating for me."

"It's not as bad as it looks." He said, hoping she'd hear the similarities in that. He tried to smile, which seemed a real effort for his jaw. "Have you eaten? You must be hungry."

"Yes, actually, I'm starving." Those doughnuts felt like days ago.

The three agreed to head down to the cafeteria, Reid wrapping his arm around her lower back as if she had trouble walking. By her boyfriend's request, Emily explained the doctor's tests and course of treatment. Rossi brought her up to speed on what was being done to track down Collin. So far, there'd been no sign of him.

The cafeteria was all but empty. An older gentleman was sitting at a table near the windows. Two young teenagers were sitting at one of the booths, both with bandages on their arm and head respectively. Rossi chose a table in the center with room enough for three people.

"You rest, I'll get your food." Reid informed, brushing back some of her hair. He looked deeply into her eyes and Emily suddenly felt a bit better. Even though she tried to push him away, here he was… bruised and beaten, yet still completely in love with her. "Coffee?"

"Might as well," She answered. "I'm not going to sleep tonight anyway."

"Don't worry, it's going to be okay." He turned to Rossi, "Anything, Dave?"

"Just coffee, thanks." He answered, sitting down.

"I'll be right back." With that, he placed a kiss on her temple, heading off to get their order. Emily was a little surprised he'd done that right in front of Rossi. Turning to him in worry, she felt a little ashamed as she saw the knowing look on his face.

"I'm a little hurt you didn't tell me." Rossi said with a grin. "You can't honestly have thought I didn't know. You're kind of a hypocrite for yelling at Reid for lying when you've been doing the same to me."

"I'm sorry," Emily said, carefully taking her seat. She felt so off balance with her wrist like this. "I wanted to tell you, but I didn't want to get too excited about it… just in case…"

"Seems to me it's going pretty well." He indicated. "He's always been very protective of you as it was, now look at him."

"Yeah," Emily said, her arms resting on the top as she leaned on the table. "He's a great guy… and completely different from what I thought I wanted."

"Isn't it odd how the one we want most is right in front of us all along?" He asked. "I remember, when I was married the first time, I was pretty good friends with my second wife, and-"

"That's not what I mean." Emily corrected. "Collin made me realize something tonight… about Reid."

Curious, "What's that? That no matter how much you push him away, he'll always be there?"

"Well, yes, but that's not it, either." She corrected. "I said earlier that Collin reminds me of Spencer. When I saw him tonight, my opinion hadn't changed. They're so much like each other… same build, same mannerisms, if I had to guess, probably the same interests… but for a change of events, their attitudes are different. What do you think that means?"

"I think it means you've been wrong all these years." Rossi answered without a thought.

"What?" She asked. "Do you think I was wrong for leaving Collin behind when I was eighteen?"

"I didn't say that." Rossi informed. "Emily, you should never regret choices you made when you know it's what you really wanted. It's not like you loved him and gave him up for some stupid reason. You didn't love him, you should never pretend to someone that you do. Nor should you pretend you don't when it's the opposite. I'm not saying you should regret the decisions you made, I'm just saying you were wrong about what you wanted in general. Which is okay because, maybe you made some bad decisions over the years… look where it brought you."

That was true. Glancing over at the serving area, she saw Reid pour some hot liquid into a few Styrofoam cups. At t hat, she gave a small smile. He had always there for when she had no one. He'd been there for her tonight despite her orders to stay away… simply because he loved her. Her eyes left him and looked around the room, taking it in. It hadn't changed a bit in all this time. "God, it feels like just yesterday, I was trying to work up the courage to see him in that coma." She glanced over again, this time seeing Reid search through the offered food. Nothing hot was being served, leaving limited choices of what to eat.

"And before you know it, this will be over and you and Reid will be here for some other reason." Rossi said. A way to show her it wasn't as bad as it seemed.

"I hope not." Emily shook her head. "Any reason for a person to come to the hospital cannot be good."

"Really?" His eyes twinkled again as he smiled. "You can't think of one reason why in the future you would want to be here again?"

She rolled her eyes and let out a huffy sigh, ready to argue… until it dawned on her what he meant. She couldn't help but smile. "Well maybe one… or two, but let's just hope we can get to that point."

"You'll get there, I know these things." Rossi assured. "And from what I can profile about Reid, I'd think he'd want more than one or two."

"Really, you think so?" Emily watched him and his every move. She took in his appearance in his clothes, extra raggedy after that fight. She knew exactly what was hiding under that attire… no one would suspect. In all the time she'd known him, she'd never seen Reid as a father. Seeing him with Henry, Emily had realized one day they might have a baby together… but would he really want one?

"Oh, yeah." Rossi agreed. "I see Reid with a bunch of kids, like a little genius cult."

"That's just what I need!" Emily laughed as she rolled her eyes again. "A group of people making me feel like an idiot on a daily basis."

Rossi gave her wink. "Just like Daddy."

As Reid returned, he was pleased to see Emily feeling much better, laughing over something with Rossi. He set a tray on the table, three coffees lined up which he quickly handed out as he took the seat between them. "There wasn't much to choose from."

"Anything will do right now." She said, quickly reaching for a turkey sandwich.

"So what are we laughing about here?" He asked, looking from one to the other.

"Nothing," She smiled as she took the cellophane off her sandwich. "Just making fun of you."

"Oh, thank you." Reid said hollowly. Though if it cheered her up and made her smile again, he didn't mind being a little insulted.

For at least a few minutes, the three relaxed and ate. Rossi simply sipped his coffee and Reid was satisfied with a bowl of rice pudding. He watched Emily cautiously, whose appetite seemed to have gotten the best of her, devouring the sandwich in less than five minutes.

As they sat back with their coffee, they went into a full explanation of what happened that evening. First Emily's side of the story and then Reid's. Rossi listened intently, neither interrupting nor showing any emotion. When they both had finished, he took a slow sip of his hot beverage, swallowing and letting out a satisfied sigh, as if this was the most refreshing thing he'd ever tasted.

"And you're certain you've never seen him before?" Rossi said, glancing at Reid.

He shrunk back a bit. "No," she answered, looking back and forth between the men. "Why? Should I?"

Gathering his strength, Reid answered, "Yes."

Startled, Emily turned to him. "What are you talking about? How do you know that?"

After a pause, he murmured, "Because… I've seen him before. And he was talking to you."

No… that wasn't possible. Emily would have remembered. She recognized Collin immediately when she met him tonight, he didn't look like anyone she'd seen since they said goodbye in San Francisco… how could she have talked to him without knowing?

"When?" She wanted to know. "Was I… drunk or something?"

"I don't think so," Reid shook his head. "I spent a lot of time with you that night, I'm pretty sure you were sober."

He took another breath and exhaled slowly. "It was in Eastlake… the night before we left… when we were in the bar."

She was certain she wasn't drunk that night. She'd remember that evening for the rest of her life and knew she'd been sober… even when she threw that bottle at the couple on the floor.

Reid continued. "I was dancing with Marlee… but I couldn't keep my eyes away from you. I saw this guy come over and hit on you. I could tell you weren't interested… but the way he smiled at you and… groped your backside… I got so jealous." Truthfully, he got jealous when anyone hit on her, but he left that out. It wasn't important right now.

"I saw that same man come into your building tonight." Reid continued. "I recognized him immediately and knew it couldn't be a coincidence… we can only guess how long he's been following you."

Emily's face was practically white as he finished, unable to stop the shiver going through her body.

So that's what Collin meant, asking if he recognized her. He'd been around her all this time and she didn't know it. That night, she remembered… he wasn't clean shaven, as he'd been tonight. And he stunk too much of whiskey that time… now she wondered if that had been to cover up the mold.

"Oh," She moaned. "He put his hands on me."

"It looked like you told him off, though." Reid said with a half smile.

"Only because I threatened him with my gun." She shook her head. "Oh, God… he could be here right now, couldn't he?"

"I doubt that, not if he's injured." Rossi answered. "But we won't have much time to ruin the trail. Emily… I think the wisest thing you can do is go into hiding."

"Where?" She demanded, not even objecting to the idea of running away. "Anywhere I can run to, he'll already know about it. Even if I'm put in some kind of protective custody, he'll be able to track me down. Where the hell am I supposed to go?"

There was a long silence as the three considered it. Reid had an idea… he hadn't been there in a long time. A few years… meaning Sutter most likely wouldn't know about it.

"I think I know a place." Reid suggested.

Emily sat up at once. Already, she liked the idea. "You do? Where?"

He opened his mouth to answer, but Rossi interrupted. "Don't say it here. I think it's best Reid just take you there. The less who know of your location, the better."

"He has a point." Reid agreed. "I'll tell when we get there."

"It will take you awhile." Rossi informed. "Don't take a direct route. In fact, if you can change directions at varying points, it'll shake him off if he is following you. Can you manage that?"

"Absolutely, I can." Reid said.

"Good," Rossi said. "Take Emily back to her apartment, back a bag, enough to last awhile. Go to your place and do the same. Do not separate from each other. I'll handle the team. I'll call you tomorrow afternoon on Reid's cell phone, and don't talk to anyone but me. Understood?"

"Yes," They both chorused.

"Very well." Rossi answered, standing up. "Let's not waste any time. You'd better get on the road, you two have a long drive ahead of you."

Emily and Reid got out of their seats. "I'll go up and fill your prescriptions, no point in going without those. Meet me in the lobby."

She agreed, watching him as he walked away. Once he was out of sight, she and Rossi headed over to the elevator slowly, both really unsure what had just happened.

They didn't say much on the ride up. Rossi stole a glance at her, seeing the tears in her eyes. He wondered if she'd ever been this scared before. She'd looked into the faces of some of the most dangerous killers in the world… yet none of those times compared to this. He could only imagine what was going through her head.

"I feel like some helpless victim." Emily said. Her eyes drifted down to her cast. "I'm running away when I should be fighting, not leaving the burden on my friends."

"Sometimes the smartest thing to do is to run away." Rossi informed, putting a hand on her shoulder. Even by that simple touch, he could feel her shaking. He'd give anything for her not to have endured this. "It's going to be fine, Emily. We're going to get this guy."

She nodded, taking a deep breath. She felt tears forming, but she forced them back down, despite the need to keep her eyes moist. "Just tell everyone I said thank you… for everything."

"You'll tell them yourself." He ordered, his voice powerful. She hoped he was right.

They made it to the lobby and waited for only ten more minutes before Reid arrived, two prescription bags in his hand. "Amazing how quick they fill these things when you flash your badge at them. So quickly, I'm suspecting there's something abnormal going on around here."

"One case at a time, kid." Rossi ordered as he stood. He helped Emily to her feet and the three faced each other. "Remember what I said. We'll talk tomorrow."

"We'll be waiting." Reid nodded.

Rossi met Emily's eyes. Her face was still red from the effects of the pepper spray. As badly as she wanted to be brave, she couldn't hold the tears back any longer. "You be safe." He commanded, sounding like he was about to cry himself. He pulled her into a big hug. "I'll see you soon."

"I hope so," She choked, her good hand clutching to him. A few tears dripped down onto his blazer. She didn't want to let him go, ever. No matter his confidence and his assurances, she knew as soon as she walked away… she would never see him again.

But she had to let go. Rossi pulled back and met her face one last time. "Have faith, Emily." He ordered her, cupping her cheek in a fatherly way. He looked to Reid, hating to put this burden on him. He looked scared, but knew he would be as strong and as brave as he never thought possible. He would do it for her. "Good luck, both of you."

"Don't forget about us." Reid mentioned, trying to put a light spin on this. It wasn't working.

Without another word – for it would be too painful and to final to say goodbye – Reid took Emily's hand and lead her to the doors. Rossi watched them until they were out of sight. He didn't want them to leave, but knew they had to. It was for their own good. Like a nervous father reluctantly sending his babies into the dark, unknown world.


	20. Help

Reid grabbed his extra sweetened coffee and gulped a few mouthfuls. Fatigue was getting to him and they were still a long way away. They'd been driving for awhile, changing and altering the route as he went. Not to mention the twenty minutes at the grocery store, plus the various rest areas they stopped at for bathroom breaks and to make sure they weren't being followed, Reid knew they'd be lucky to get there by dawn.

Right now, they were heading down the interstate. It was close to 2 am. Setting his cup back in the holder, he took a glance at the sleeping girl beside him. Emily had nodded off just after their last bathroom break. Good, she needed her rest. She was using her jacket as a pillow, which Reid suggested he take because, despite the warm weather, it would be chilly where they were going. He was still quiet about their destination, but Emily was too sore and too tired to care at this point.

He turned back to the road. The rearview mirror was devoid of any drivers, proving they were on their own. That eased Reid's anxiety a bit, but not by much. He noticed the illuminated sign of a nearby city. They were only a few more hours away. Reid could use another cup of coffee but he didn't want to stop again. He refused to leave Emily alone in the car, and he didn't want to wake her. They'd be okay. He could rest when they got there… though he doubted he would.

By now, Collin had to have gone to get his wound treated. If he hadn't he was risking a lot of blood loss, or Reid hadn't shot him as severely as he thought. Either way, if he wasn't caught, he would be regrouping very soon, tracking down the location of their disappearance. He worried about the rest of the team, not wanting them to get hurt, either. He couldn't obsess over that, though. His sole job was to protect Emily.

He wasn't so sure he had the courage to do such a task, but as he stole a glance at his sleeping beauty – the woman he loved for so long – he knew she was scared and was putting all her trust in him. Something Emily Prentiss didn't do too often. He would not disappoint her. They drove on.

* * *

><p>It was late. Hotch had called JJ was not long after she had gotten home work, ordering her to get everyone but Reid and Emily back into the BAU. When she asked why those two weren't included, he wouldn't tell her. Nothing about that seemed normal at all.<p>

He and Rossi were already there when she arrived. Hotch looked tired, like he'd been roused out of an uneasy sleep. Understandable, since they were supposed to be back at work in the morning. But he was wearing jeans and sweatshirt; an outfit a person could easily throw on. Rossi's attire, however, hadn't wavered at all from that day. He hadn't been home yet. This was getting odd. Whatever caused this supposed emergency meeting, he was the one who had all the answers.

Morgan and Garcia were just like Hotch. Both looked disturbed and ruffled from this sudden assembly. If she didn't know better, JJ suspected Garcia was still wearing her pajamas. They all gathered in the conference room, each just as perplexed as to the meaning of this.

"Alright," Rossi announced once everyone was settled. Rich, strong coffee had been brewed and was waiting for them in the center of the table. No one thought twice about grabbing a cup. "I know you're all wondering why you needed to come back in… and why Reid and Emily aren't here."

"Did something happen?" Garcia cried.

Rossi paused a moment, then answered "Yes… Emily was attacked in her apartment this evening by our unsub."

There were matching gasps and expressions of shock by the three in the room. Though Hotch had been informed earlier, he wasn't any less distressed by it.

"Is she okay?" Morgan questioned.

"Yes, she wasn't hurt very badly." Rossi assured.

"I thought Reid was looking out for her." JJ wondered, confused and looked to the others. They were all under that impression, too.

"Well, you know Emily. She was feeling very crowded with Reid nearby." He said, covering for them both quickly. "We've all been there with Reid. He means well and he's very caring, but he tends to hover. She needed some space."

"So he just… left her?" Anger crept into Morgan's voice at that.

"Of course not," Rossi shook his head. "He sat outside her building, staking out the area… that's when he saw the unsub enter the property."

"Collin Sutter?" Hotch defined, having heard Rossi's explanation earlier that day. Though it seemed plausible, they couldn't automatically conclude he was their killer.

Rossi nodded. "Emily identified him. He attacked her in her apartment, but Reid got up there in time. She'd been hit with pepper spray and broke her wrist after falling down the steps. Reid got him off her and shot him in the arm, but he still got away. He was more worried about getting Emily than catching him."

They couldn't deny how much they wished Reid had gone after him, but all were relieved Emily was alright. "Where are they now?"

At first, it seemed Rossi hadn't heard them. He stared at the table, considering that very question. As of right now, he was still in the dark of their intended destination. And though it had been his idea they get away, it made him very uneasy.

"I'm not at liberty to say." He said, looking up. "As of right now, I don't know. I'll call Reid in the afternoon, he'll tell me then, but it's best it reminds secret for now. The less who know, the less likely Sutter will find them."

"In the meantime, searching for Sutter will be our concern." Hotch added. "Garcia, I want you to find anything your searches can pull up. Any criminal records, history of mental illness, anything useful you can get your hands on. First, though get information on his job, his home, and any contacts in California. Give them to JJ."

"Right away," Garcia cried. She didn't waste a moment, practically jumping out of her chair to head to her liar.

"JJ, the information that Garcia gives you, I need you to speak with those people, interview them to learn if he's informed anyone where's he's staying, if he knows anyone in the area, if he informed anyone on what he's doing, etc."

"Yes sir." JJ agreed, also hurrying from the room. She, too, knew they couldn't afford to waste any time.

Last left was Morgan, who was suddenly starting to realize how alone he was right now. He worked with those two more than with anyone else on the team, especially Emily. He feared for both their safety and wished he could be there to protect his friends.

"Now, Morgan," Hotch said. "It appears Sutter has infiltrated local establishments that Emily frequented. The local bar we usually go to, her favorite restaurants, I need you to go to any place you know Emily visits regularly and question them about Sutter. Don't give his name right away, but show his picture. We need all the information they can give us, including aliases."

"A lot of those places have got to be closed." Morgan pointed out.

"I'm aware. Go to the ones you can now and the others, first thing in the morning." He ordered.

Morgan agreed, though bitter there wasn't more to be done at the moment. But his boss was right, information was power. If they got the right clues, they could track Sutter down quickly before he even got close to Emily… again.

He left and Rossi and Hotch were alone. Now, with the case under way, a burning question was rising in Hotch's mind. After this assault, he could tell something just didn't add up. Turning to his former mentor, he fixed him with a questioning expression he usually only saved for his subordinates who were blatantly lying… but then, that's what he was dealing with.

"Dave, I've got to ask this and I'm pretty sure you're the person to go to… what's going on with Reid and Emily?" He inquired, his eagle eyes tired yet fierce.

Rossi, much older and more experienced than he, remained impassive. "Do you question my explanation, Aaron?"

He knew he only called him Aaron when he was trying to side step him. He was once fooled as a bushy eyed rookie, but not today. "Reid and Emily have been acting very strange over the last few weeks. It wasn't a secret that ever since Reid had gotten better, he and Emily couldn't carry a conversation more complicated than the weather… now all of a sudden, they've been spending all this time together. Reid's risking his life to protect her 24 hours a day."

"What? You don't think Reid normally cares about Emily enough to risk his life for her?" Rossi wondered, trying to show him his worry was unprecedented.

"Reid would take a bullet in the heart for any member of this team, but that's not the point." Hotch corrected. "There's more than just a devotion to a team member here… more than to a friend… I'm not blind, Dave, I know something's going on with them. And considering you're the one they contacted, you have to know something, too. I can't be expected to run this team if I know the strength of it is jeopardized. Now, I ask again… what is going on with Reid and Emily?"

Again, he didn't answer right away. Rossi would not be pressured. Hotch could rattle off every reason why his truthfulness was crucial, all of it for the good of the team… but this was a lot more than just a liability. Hotch was their friend, too. He had to remember.

"Aaron… I'm going to refuse to answer that for a moment… and I want you to think." He said slowly. "If what you're suspecting is true… do you really want to know the answer to that question? Especially right now?"

He wanted say yes, but Hotch always had a soft spot for his team. He closed his mouth and nodded. "We're running out of time… you'd better get on the phone with the hospitals, see if there's any sign of Sutter."

"Right away… sir," He said with an approving smile. Hotch tried not to return it, knowing there would be a lot to deal with when this was all said and done, but he could easily ignore it. For now. Without another word, Hotch stepped out to get on the phone with the police for an update on their progress, pushing his fears from his mind for now. They paled in comparison to the looming danger, anyway.

* * *

><p><em>Reid awoke just as the sun started poking through the glass windows. His head ached and his entire body was covered in a cold sweat. All he was wearing was a t-shirt and underwear while wrapped in a blanket, yet after everything he went through last night, he didn't even care.<em>

_His mouth was dry and tasted awful, no doubt from all the vomiting. He turned his head to look around the living room, straight into the kitchen were the only other soul for miles was busy cooking at the stove._

_He had to admit, whatever it was smelled… not bad. In fact, he'd go as far as to say he had an appetite. There was coffee brewing, too. He could certainly go for some coffee._

_Sensing a pair of eyes fixed on him, his host glanced over. Gideon gave him his usual kind smile. "Well, well… look who made it through the night."_

_Reid tried to be happy about that, but he was much too exhausted. He wasn't sure when he'd fallen asleep, but it hadn't been easy. He spent most of the last day and night shaking, vomiting, his heart pounding and his skin feeling like a thousand spiders had laid eggs underneath and the babies were hatching. Now it felt more like a bad dream… and he felt so drained._

"_Hungry?" Gideon asked, the side of an omelette over._

_All he could manage was a nod. That feeling of shame was starting to creep over him, he always felt that way when he came down from a high. Yet something was different this time… like no matter how disgraceful he felt right now… he felt strong enough to leave that stuff behind._

_In a moment, Gideon put an omelette on a plate and went to fix a cup of coffee. He took the food and drink over to the living room, first handing the mug over._

"_Thanks," Reid mumbled, not even able to look at him._

_There were no words as Reid took a long gulp. It tasted so good, much better than he could remember in ages. Letting out a long sigh, he clutched his mug in his hands. It was almost too hot for his palms to handle, but he kept it there anyway. He needed to feel something._

"_You still have a long way to go, Spencer." Gideon said, still hanging onto the plate. "It's going to be a long time before you'll know you can walk away from this… but you made it through your first night. That's always the hardest."_

"_So it's all downhill from here?" Reid mumbled as he rested his head on the arm of the sofa._

"_Absolutely not," Gideon contradicted. "You've got a long, bumpy road ahead of you, but now when you're fighting through this, you can look back on the first night you were sober and know you won't want to give that triumph up. You can survive the rest of the journey."_

_He still wasn't convinced. Sure, one night when he was miles and miles from anyone he knew was easy… what about when he went back to reality?_

"_As soon as I see her face, I'm going to want to do it again." He closed his eyes, feeling tears starting to form. It was true. Thinking of her made his head pound like a knife had been stabbed through it. Reid could feel himself craving for a fix, just so he could drown his essence in her warmth again._

"_Of course you are," Gideon agreed, knowing that was obvious. "For a long time, this is what you're going to be thinking about every single second… eventually you won't think about it so much… then a day will pass when you don't think of it at all… it will never be out of your life, and there may even come a time when you're so distraught, you'll want to fall into this again. But what are you going to do? Are you going to let those demons win or are you going to fight them? You're a man, Spencer. It's time you fought like one."_

"_I'm fighting against myself." He mumbled._

_Gideon replied, "That's the worst enemy of all… because you may win the battle, but you will forever be locked in a war."_

_Reid opened his eyes again. Though Gideon was speaking with the ferocity of an angry beast of a man, he looked on the boy with tenderness and love and, dare he say, pride._

"_You remember what I said to you last night?" He asked._

_Last night was a living nightmare. There were lucid and agonizing moments and others he felt sick and delusional, so painful he was sure he would die._

"_About Emily?" He asked, his eyes directed at the panels of the wood floor._

"_Yes," Answered Gideon, "Are you going to take my advice, or take it out on the world because you're not getting what you want? Drugs or not, Spencer, so many people in this world blame everything around them because something in their life went wrong. They didn't get what they wanted, or they got it and it just isn't what they thought it would be… I have to say, I'm sick of that privileged attitude. The world doesn't owe anything to anybody; Emily certainly doesn't owe you anything, and I'm not here right now because I owe this to you. You can't let yourself slip into a world of fantasy just because you can't handle what life has given you."_

_Last night, Reid would have been furious Gideon had said that to him… he wouldn't have wanted to believe it. Now Reid couldn't deny it was true, even if he had the strength._

"_I want to tell you one thing you are always to remember, and while you're getting clean, if you feel like you're slipping, you think back to these words. You're not going to get the things worthwhile in life if you take the easy way out. The things that are really worth living for don't come to you overnight. If they did… you'd be completely clean right now. So tell me, are you going to walk out of here and be selfish and just find the quick fix so you can feel better about what life handed you… or are you going to fight? You may never get the one thing you want, and you may get it and it's not in the exact same way you dreamed… but you'll be a better man by not only accepting it, but grateful for the experience."_

"_So…" Reid muttered, staring into the creamy swirls of his coffee, "you're saying… if I love Emily… it's better to have her in my life as a friend than not have her at all?"_

"_I'm saying it in a general sense, Spencer." He explained. "Because Emily is not going to be the last thing you find that you desperately want. You may never get them unless you fight, sometimes you never get them no matter how much you give to it. But you'll never know unless you try. No one knows how the book ends unless they keep reading… and this is one story that can't be read in a matter of minutes."_

_If Reid wanted to be sober again, he would have to accept Gideon's words. He knew right at that moment, he'd never have Emily. Reid wasn't so sure he'd be able to handle that, just seeing her every day when he wanted her so much… but Gideon was right. He couldn't just give up. Some things were worth fighting for._

The sun was threatening to rise on the horizon. The steely light was poking through the lush green leaves of the woods. The dirt road was at least dry. Reid would have a hard time getting up here had it rained in the last day. He was exhausted as at last he turned off the engine, silence filling the car. They were finally here.

Emily was still sleeping. She hadn't moved much the rest of the way, nor did she wake when the care came to a stop. Reid took a moment to watch her, drinking in her beauty. He hated to wake her, especially knowing how rattled she was after the ordeal. They couldn't stay out here forever, though. She needed to get into bed so she could get some real sleep. Unbuckling his seatbelt, Reid moved over, pressing a kiss on her cheek.

"Emily," He whispered against her ear. "Wake up, Sweetheart."

"Mmm," She mumbled, beginning to stir. He kept trying to rouse her with gentle kisses down her cheek and on her jaw. Letting out a soft gasp, she opened her eyes, finding herself in a completely different place.

"We're here, Emily," He informed as she looked at the wooden front porch. They were surrounded by forestry and the home had a rustic feel.

"Where are we?" She asked, turning to him.

"Gideon's cabin." He answered at once. "He brought me here once, when he helped me detox. We spent the whole weekend here… starting me on a very complicated road of recovery. When I'd been clean a month, he told me how proud he was of me and gave me a spare key. He told me if I ever needed to escape, it was at my disposal." He paused, "He meant escape in a metaphorical sense, of course, but I don't think he'd mind us using it in the present circumstances."

Emily had never been to Gideon's cabin. She'd heard of it, she knew that's where Spencer had gone when their former boss had disappeared, finding the goodbye letter he'd left for the young man. That was the extent of her knowledge, however. She never imagined she'd be here one day, using it as a sanctuary while at the mercy of a stalker.

Reid took her hand, "Come on," He said with a smile. "Let's get inside."

Emily agreed. After unsnapping her belt, she felt around for the door handle, only finding her hand was in too much pain to open it. Reid hurried over to her side of the car, helping her get out. She reluctantly allowed him to help her out of the car, hating herself for being so useless.

"Are you in pain?" Reid asked as he wrapped his arm around her middle, lifting her carefully to stand.

Her entire body ached from her fall, and resisted the urge to let out a moan she supported her own weight. She gave subtle nod, wanting him to release her.

"I'll help you inside and then I'll get the bags." He said with a kind smile. She tried to return it, but was much too sullen.

He didn't take his arm from her, but he at least let her walk on her own. They stepped onto the porch, their footsteps echoing on the wood floor. Emily stood back as Reid pulled out the key, messing with the lock which hadn't seen visitors in some time.

As he went to open the door, Emily looked out into the woods. An owl hooted into the beginning of dawn, heading to its nest after a night of hunting. The air up here was chilled; they must be far in the mountains. That should make Emily feel safe, knowing how far they were from civilization… but she didn't. The forest surrounded her, giving her the sensation she was being watched.

Yet, after all this, Emily wondered if she would ever be without that feeling again.

The lock clicked and Reid pushed the door open. Inside was dark and cold. As they entered inside, a faint smell of old furniture and dust wafted into the air. She barely made a few steps into the door before she stopped, looking around.

Reid went to turn on the lights, illuminating the room. It was spacious, but not too big. Two sofas were arranged facing each other with a large coffee table over a dark brown area rug. There was a fireplace which obviously hadn't been lit in ages. The kitchen was on the other side, large and open so as to see everything in the living room. A gas stove was there along with a refrigerator. She had thought Reid buying perishables at the grocery store last night was foolish, especially considering the time of year, but now she could see it wouldn't spoil. She watched as Reid went over to a cabinet in the kitchen. Emily stepped closer to see, finding not an empty cupboard or one filled with can goods that could survive many a year, but a large television monitor. He flipped it on. It took a moment to come to life, but soon with the help of a remote control, revealed what looked like four different landscapes separated equally among the screen.

"See?" Reid asked as he turned. "It covers all vulnerable sides of the cabin and the road five miles away. No one drives on that road unless they're coming here. It's motion detected and an alarm will sound when someone is approaching. No one will be able to sneak up on us, we're safe."

She still wasn't convinced, but felt better at the idea they weren't so susceptible here. She nodded to indicate she understood, not in much mood for talking.

"I'll go get the bags," He said as he walked over. Before he passed her, he put another loving kiss on her cheek and headed out the door.

Emily was too nervous to sit. She stepped further into the room, looking around. Gideon hadn't made much attempt at the décor. There was a large clock over the mantle… was it really 5 am? Most of what took up space in the room was books. Such a mysterious man Jason Gideon was, she wondered what kind of literature would grab his attention… and was a little nervous to know what.

"Those are mine," Reid informed as he brought their luggage inside, setting them beside the closest sofa. He saw her at the one bookshelf, the fingers of her good hand inspecting the spine of one novel. "I store a lot of my books up here when I need to make space in my apartment. You're welcome to read them though."

Reid she knew very well, even before this, so she had a better idea what these would be about. Textbooks or Classics or novels in languages she couldn't even say two words in. She wasn't in the mood for talking or discussing these subjects, so she turned from the books, her attention mostly focused on the wooden floor.

A moment later, Reid returned with the groceries in his arms. He left them on the counter; they would be alright for a little while longer. Closing the door he first locked the knob, then the deadbolt and finally the latch. No one was going to get through there.

"The rest of the house was locked and latched tight after the last time I was here." He explained. "After you go to sleep, though, I'll do another walk through, just to be sure everything's secure."

"Very good," Emily nodded. "I think I'll go to bed."

He smiled again, "I'll help you."

"No, it's alright, I'm just going to bed." She indicated.

"You'll need help getting changed, you can't do it with that arm." He insisted.

She looked at him coldly, "I'll manage."

Her tone was very bitter, like the last person she wanted to be near right now was him. Taken aback, Reid questioned, "Why don't you want me to help you?"

"Because I don't need your help!" Emily yelled, her resentment misplacing itself on the young man before her. "I'm not some pitiful, indolent person, you don't have to keep taking care of me so… please, just give me some space."

For a second he was startled by her outburst, but soon felt hurt. Maybe he was being a bit overprotective, but he was just worried about her. He just wanted to help her… why wouldn't she let him?"

He took a step back, hanging his head a bit. "I'm sorry… I'll leave you alone. There's a bathroom in the bedroom if you want to get washed up… I'll be sleeping out here if you need me."

She hated the hurt that appeared on his face, but didn't mention it. Her voice was softer as she mumbled, "Thank you," and with that, headed down the hall, navigating through the rest of the home.

The bedroom was in the back of the house. She didn't bother turning on the light as Emily stepped in. The rising sun was streaming through the window, golden bands streaked along the floor. The view was beautiful through this window, revealing the valley just below them. Along the horizon was the rising mountain range of Appalachia. It would be breathtaking if she weren't so disturbed. All it did was make her feel exposed. Emily quickly hurried over to close the blinds. The room was as dark as night.

As she made it to the bathroom, she noticed there was both a bathtub sitting on brass legs and a separate shower stall on the other side. A sink and toilet situated in the center. Emily had been craving a bath since the hospital and suddenly could feel the layer of dirt stuck to her skin. She wouldn't be able to sleep until she got clean. Slowly, she began to unbutton her pants, anxious to submerge her entire body into the hot water… well, most of it.

Reid needed to distract himself. He was itching to go into that back room, just to check that she was alright and had everything she needed, but he resisted. She would be angry and she didn't need to be upset. He went to the counter to start putting away their food, thinking he might like something for breakfast before he crashed on the couch. Emily's medications were sitting on the counter. He knew she'd need them, probably should take a dose of her drops before she went down… he'd give her a few minutes before he brought them to her… and then he'd quickly leave her again.

Just as he finished putting everything cold into the refrigerator, there was a loud crash from the back of the house, coinciding with Emily's scream. Reid paused, desperate to run back there. He eyed the dark hallway with fear, practically gripping the countertop to stay put.

A groan of pain sounded and suddenly, he heard his name. "Spencer… could… could you come here, please?"

He didn't need to be asked twice. In no time at all, he was at the other end of the cabin. The bedroom was empty with the curtains drawn. Hurrying to the bathroom, Reid almost panicked seeing Emily on the tiled floor where she'd fallen, her pants pushed halfway down her hips, exposing her creamy thighs which were glowing with a few small bruises.

"Oh my God," Reid said, crouching down beside her. There were tears on her cheeks and he feared she'd hurt herself again. The closest town was 45 minutes away and it was so small, he doubted there was a capable hospital to take care of her.

"What happened?" He asked, brushing back her hair.

"I…" She took a deep breath to calm down, hating how in just a few minutes, Sutter had made her useless. "I wanted to take a bath and… I tried to get undressed, but I was struggling and… I fell over."

"Did you hurt yourself?" He wondered, checking her over.

"Not anymore than I was," She answered with a shake of her head. "It's just…" The poor woman started gasping, losing all control on her emotions. "I… I…"

"What is it?" Reid pressed. "You can tell me."

Bracing herself, she said the three words she hated to admit to anyone, especially herself. "I… need… help."

Reid had never seen her like this. She broke down completely, hiding her face with her ebony hair. Her sobs filled the bathroom, coming to terms with how incompetent she was.

"Oh, Emily…" Reid said. "It's alright… you just need to ask, that's why I'm here."

"No, I'm a full grown woman, Spencer!" She cried, finally looking at him. "I've been on my own a long time. I've never needed help before; I should be able to do this myself!"

As she hung her head again, Reid's hand touched her chin. "Hey," He said, lifting her tear stained face to look at him. "Everyone needs help sometimes… there's no shame in asking for it. You should know that."

"But I shouldn't need it, that's not fair to you." Emily informed. "I shouldn't need protecting, I shouldn't need a body guard and I certainly shouldn't need someone undressing me and waiting on me like I'm two-years-old."

"Yes you should," He corrected. "If I were hurt like this, wouldn't you be there for me?"

She barely needed a moment to answer. "Of course I would."

He smiled, his fingers reaching to stroke along her jaw line. She was so beautiful, like a goddess carved out of marble. "Well, there's no difference. Emily, I know you've been alone along time… most of your life. I understand because I have to… and before Gideon reached out to me, I never would have dreamed of asking for help… but sometimes – like right now – it's necessary. Not only am I here to do it, I want to do it. That's the benefit of having someone who loves you… you have someone who's always there for you. So… would you please let me take care of you?"

She let out a sigh, at long last fully giving into him. With a nod, she said, "I wanted to get cleaned up before I go to bed. Will you help me get into the bath?"

Reid put his arm around her middle, helping her stand on her own two feet again. This time she allowed her weight to lean on him willingly. As she straightened up, her pants fell to her stocking feet. "I've got a better idea." He said as he helped her step out of her pants. He lifted her blouse over her head, watching as her hair fell around her shoulders again. Tossing it aside, he careful kissed her, mindful of his cut. As they pulled away, Reid smiled again. "Wait here."

Standing in her underwear and stockings, Emily watched as Reid left the room. He was gone for ten minutes before she heard him returning, a thin box in his hand. As he came in, she noticed it was a package of cellophane, which he'd bought at the store last night.

"Kinky," She said, giving a smile and a wave of her eyebrows.

"It's not what you think," He informed, ripping off a long sheet. "Give me your cast."

Emily held out her right arm and Reid began to wrap her bandaged arm in it. Around and around the plastic went, securing her arm like it was a slab of beef they wanted to keep fresh. The cellophane clung to itself, not easily ripped away by movement or the air. Nothing was going to get in there.

As he finished, Reid moved over to the shower stall. He turned on the tap. The rush of water gushed out of the faucet. He tested it with his hand as he looked back at her. "I could use a bath, too."

Emily smiled, this would be much better than a bath.

Reid helped her remove her stockings, then her panties and finally her bra, pressing tender kisses to the top of each breast before he pulled away. She watched as Reid removed his clothes, tossing them in the corner to join Emily's. There was a washer and dryer in the basement, he made a mental note to do some laundry later. Finally, both naked, Reid took Emily's hand. He stepped carefully into the shower stall first and, once steady, guided her in to join him.

For a long time, all they did was hold each other. Emily rested her head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, just as she had after he saved her last night. It was the first time since they got here that Emily began to feel safe. The spray of the water fell right between them, soaking both their bodies in the hot, comforting liquid. The heat and the water loosened both their muscles and eased the pain of their bruises. Reid's arms held her right against him, enveloping her in his protective embrace. Judging by the subtle weeping, he could tell all that water sliding down his chest was not just from the shower. He didn't say a word, just soothed her as she cried, letting everything go.

Once she'd calmed down, Reid took one of the bottles he'd left in here on his last visit, turning her around to get a better angle.

"More baby shampoo?" Emily teased.

"Not this time," He grinned. "Just relax, I've got you."

He expertly washed her hair, loving the soft moans and content from the long, slow scalp massage. He followed that with conditioner, turning her hair into black silk. Next, he carefully soaped her body over with some body wash that smelled like old vanilla.

"Is this the stuff you always use?" She wondered. Tingles were rumbling through her body as he caressed the liquid soap on her chest and stomach, suds springing up from his touch. She sighed and leaned her head back, resting against him. What he was doing felt so good, she could hardly remember why they were here in the first place.

"Yes, I have another bottle at home," He explained, moving up to her shoulders. "I know it's not the stuff you like, but… I wasn't expecting company."

"No, I like it." She sighed as he guided her into the spray, letting the water wash away lather, the dirt and filth going with it. "It suits you… it always reminds me of old books."

She could hear the smile in his voice. "Well, I love that smell, so I'll take that as a compliment."

With a smile, she turned around to face him again. Her arms reached over his shoulders, standing on the balls of her feet to get closer him, their faces just inches apart. "As you should… thank for this, Spencer. I'm starting to feel much better."

He held her again at the waist, pressing a kiss against her neck. "I'm glad," He whispered, her hands going up into his soaked hair.

They remained like that for a long time. Reid kept placing kisses to her neck and shoulder, her finger nails dragging gently down his slick back. In another circumstance, he knew he wouldn't be able to think straight, her wet naked body pressed against his, surrounded by the hot water and rich vanilla scented steam. The thought of the pain she was in, however, kept him in perspective and his head remained clear.

A little while passed and they finished their shower. Both dry and clean, they wrapped themselves in towels and headed into the bedroom. Reid grabbed his bag, giving her a t-shirt for her to wear to bed. Emily took it willingly, loving the idea of being in something infused with his essence. Reid pulled on a pair of light blue pajama pants and his own t-shirt before helping Emily remove the plastic from her cast and pull the clothing over her head. Comfortable now, he supported her body as she climbed into the comfortable bed, snuggling under the covers.

For the third time, Reid stepped out, returning after a moment with a glass of water and Emily's prescription bags. The first one he revealed the vial of eye drops. He sat on the edge of the bed, unscrewing the cap.

"You should take these before you go to sleep." He informed. "Lean back and keep your eyes wide open."

She agreed, obeying his command, her eyes practically bulging from their sockets. Reid angled the bottle over her, dripping a few drops of medicine into one and then repeating for the other. Finished, she blinked profusely to make sure it went in, sitting up again.

He opened the other package and pulled out the familiar orange prescription bottle. Reid popped open the lid and shook out one pill, handing it to Emily with the water. She didn't think she needed a sedative right now – that shower had really done the trick – but she didn't object. He was taking care of her, who else in the world would look after her so lovingly?

"There," He smiled, taking the water away. "Ready for bed?"

"Yes," She said dazedly. She was indeed ready for bed, but not in the least bit ready for sleep.

Reid went over to the other side of the bed, climbing under the covers so their bodies were right against each other. He wrapped his arm around her, expecting her to close her eyes any second.

"You're wonderful for doing all this," She said, her voice soft and tender. "I'd be so scared if it weren't for you."

"There's no reason to worry," He assured. "I'm here and we're very safe in this place. It would take a lot for someone to get through all that security and even then, there's no way anyone will get to you, as long as I'm still breathing."

She took a deep breath, feeling tears on the way which she was certain wasn't because of the drops. "Thank you," She whispered. "I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here."

"You've always been there for me." He replied, as if this wasn't as big a deal. "I wouldn't be alive right now if it weren't for you. I've always looked to you when I needed someone… even a time when I was locked in the dark – the absolute scariest place in the world – and the only solace I had was your voice… singing to me in the distance."

"What?" She asked, stunned. Where would he come up with something like that?

"I know, it's silly," He shook his head. "I don't even think it's real… but it's there … and I look to it whenever I really need strength to get through something."

"What…" Lost in the darkness, hearing her sing… she had an idea where that had come from, but it couldn't be possible. He couldn't have remembered that. "What… am I singing exactly? Or is just wordless music?"

Reid answered with enthusiasm. "No, actually… it was the song you were singing last Monday… after our first time together."

Oh, God… it was real. The tears couldn't be stopped now. "Fields of Gold."

"I'd never heard it before, at least I don't remember hearing it, until that… I don't think memory is the right word, but-"

"No, it is a memory!" She exclaimed, sitting up a bit. "That song… that was the song we danced to in the bar when you were sick. And then… when you were in the coma… oh, Spencer," She sobbed a moment, remembering how sick and distraught she was on wanting him back. "I would sing that song to you, every night… because I thought if you heard my voice, it might bring you back to me… you must have heard me."

In a moment, she was glad to see she wasn't the only one who had tears in their eyes. "I did…" He whispered, and leaned his brow against hers.

Amazing the words that could be passed when no one was speaking. The two lovers lay in silence for a long time, connected to each other they knew they could never experience with someone else… that others couldn't understand unless they experienced it themselves. How could they have survived all these years without having the other in their lives… they felt so incomplete until now.

"We're going to get through this, right?" Emily asked, opening her eyes again to meet his.

"Of course we will," He smiled through his tears. "I know we will because I know you… better than anyone… better than you know yourself. And I know you're strong enough to get through this without me… but together, we can get through anything."

This time, she didn't hesitate. She didn't second guess herself, she didn't fear it was too soon or wishful thinking… she had no doubts whatsoever. "I love you, Spencer."

He couldn't help the smile that claimed his handsome face. "I love you, Emily." He replied and with that, met her into another beautiful kiss.

They pulled apart and Reid was about to move away, wanting to get comfortable so as to get some rest, but Emily grabbed his gaze. Her eyes were filled with love and lust and longing, tempting him as she bit on her soft lower lip. If he had any doubts what she was thinking of, her one leg coming up to rest on his hip cleared it up for him.

"Emily," He said, fighting to keep his own desires locked away. "We can't."

"Why not?" She smiled. "We're in bed, we just admitted we love each other… it's not like we won't have plenty of time for rest. Tell me you don't want to."

"It's not that I don't, not at all, it's just… you went through a lot last night, you need rest... and I don't want to hurt you." He answered.

"No," She shook her head. "I'm fine… I'm not in much pain, and I certainly can put up with that to make love with you… especially here, alone with the rest of the world so far away."

Her leg wrapped around his hip, pulling him closer and Reid knew he couldn't resist her. He pulled away to climb out of bed and walked over to his bag again, getting what they needed. "And I thought it would be foolish to bring anything."

"Good thing, otherwise you'd be getting more of that cellophane." She teased.

They both laughed as he set the box on his nightstand, climbing back under the covers. Reid brought Emily into another long kiss, gentle which slowly but surely turned very passionate. Never breaking from her lips, he guided her onto her back and moved to cover her, careful not to rest his weight on her sensitive body.

Leaning back, Reid gently brushed her cheek several times, staring deeply into her glowing brown eyes, which were silently pleading for him. "We'll go slow. If you feel any discomfort, you have to tell me."

"I will," She exhaled, excited. "I know you'd never hurt me."

He wouldn't. Their eyes met one more time, both giving an excited, anticipated smile before meeting in another kiss. The two completely lost themselves in each other and for just a little while forgot about the rest of the world.


	21. Midnight Visitor

A/N: Sorry this took so long. A few days ago, my dad deleted all my file off my computer. Every last one. So, I cried for about 3 hours (not even joking about that) and then spent the last few days trying to rebuild my work. I tried to get it to you as soon as possible. Sorry again for the delay. Enjoy. :/

* * *

><p>Saturday was blur. After their amorous morning, Emily fell into a deep sleep, one she couldn't wake herself from for a long time, no doubt a mixture of the sedative with the loss of adrenaline. The bed was so comfortable and with Reid's arms around her, there was no place she'd rather be.<p>

There were a few lucid moments during the day she could recall. She woke enough in the afternoon to realize Reid was gone. She heard him talking in the front of the house, which she took to mean he was on the phone with Rossi. At least he'd know they were okay, and with that comforting thought, she drifted off again.

Reid gently woke her sometime later to give her more eye drops. He informed her he made some soup and sandwiches, if she were hungry. She was a little, but she could barely keep her eyes open long enough for the medicine, let alone to eat. Emily answered a mumbled no, searching for his hand in the darkness. As she fell back to sleep, he pressed a kiss on her forehead, bringing a dreamy smile out of her.

It wasn't until late Sunday morning Emily had the strength to wake up. The sun was rising high over the mountains, the curtains open to allow the natural light into the room. It wasn't nearly as disturbing now. In fact, considering the present circumstances, Emily would go as far to say she was happy.

She yawned and stretched, finally noticing how full her bladder was and quickly whisked off to bathroom. Coming out a moment, later, she noticed Reid had brought her bag in at some point, leaving it open with her assortment of clothes revealed. She wasn't much in the mood to get dressed, but the cabin was a bit cold. She pulled on a black and white cotton night shirt that went down to her knees. The sleeves were just long enough to take the chill away. Comfortable now, she went in search of Reid.

Sure enough, there he was in the kitchen, busy mixing some batter in a bowl. Emily watched him for a moment, struggling to stifle a giggle as she saw him wearing an apron again. A full body one this time. He was so cute.

Stepping lightly, Emily snuck up behind him. Feeling his body stiffen from surprise as she wrapped her arms around him. In a moment, though, he relaxed in her embrace, loving being surrounded by her warmth. She pressed a kiss to his back and rested her head on him.

After a minute, he turned to face her. "Look who's up," He said with a smile, holding her in return.

"What time is it?" She asked, still a bit confused.

"About ten." Reid said. "I was going to wake you when breakfast was ready, you need to eat something."

"Tell me about it, I'm starving." She smiled, reaching her arms over his shoulders, pulling herself up to his level. "Thank you for letting me sleep."

"How are you feeling?" He wondered, looking her over with concern.

"Not bad," She replied. "My wrist is throbbing, but I brought some aspirin." Her lips brushed against Reid's as she smiled. "Other than that, I'm feeling pretty good, Dr. Reid."

"Well, endorphins are natural pain killers." He answered. "Let me know if you need another dose later."

"I'm sure I will," She met him in a warm kiss, lasting so long they were both gasping for oxygen when it broke.

Emily settled back on her feet, seeing the mess on the counter. "What are you making?"

"Pancakes," Reid answered. "And bacon. I brought some concentrated juice. I know it's not as good as the Simply Orange you like, but it's easier to bring in abundance. We could be up here awhile."

He knew so much about her, right down to the orange juice she liked to drink. "I thought you said you couldn't cook."

"Not very well, but there are some things I can manage." Reid explained. "There were few things my mother would eat, believing the government used to put things in our food to affect our decisions. Pancakes were her favorite, sometimes I'd make them all week for every meal."

"You must be pretty good at it, then." Emily said, observing the scene.

"I'm amending my recipe a bit, though." Reid smiled as he pulled away. "Changing it so it better suits you instead of my mother."

"And what will you be putting in mine, crushed sedatives?" She joked.

"No, that's what I'm taking out." Reid answered, opening the cupboard.

After a beat, she replied. "I'm not sure if you're kidding."

He gave a chuckle, which gave her no real answer. "Actually… I'm adding… these."

Pulling out a bag, he tossed it in Emily's direction, whose reflexes were in top condition. She caught it and couldn't help but grin.

"Chocolate chips," She cried with delight. "You know me so well."

Reid agreed, taking the bag back. "Breakfast will be a bit, so why don't you lie down in bed and relax for awhile and I'll bring our food in when it's ready."

"Are you sure?" Emily asked. "I could help."

"I wouldn't dream of it." He said, pressing a kiss to her temple. His nose buried in her hair, so soft and sweet from yesterday's shower. "I'm here to take care of you, so you rest and let me do all the work."

After another kiss on her forehead, Emily smiled and headed back towards the bedroom. She hung back a moment, watching Reid open the package of chips and carefully pour them in as he stirred the batter. She couldn't believe she was denying this yesterday… she could certainly get used to all this pampering.

She climbed back into bed, laying back on the pillows as she stared out the window. She felt much better than when they first got here. Everything was going to be okay. She was so grateful for her friends, picking up the slack for her so she could be safe. She wasn't sure what she could do, but she would have to make this up to them.

And what about Reid? He was doing more than she could ever hope to ask for. What could she possibly do for him, ever, that would compare to this? It would take a lifetime to figure out.

Well, after they got through this, they would have a lifetime.

Another half hour, Reid came carrying a tray, their breakfast arranged perfectly on it. He placed it over her lap before going to his side of the bed to get comfortable.

"This looks delicious Spencer," She said, giving him a smile before pressing a kiss to his cheek. "You really didn't have to do all this."

"I know I don't have to." He said with a smile, "Everything I've done for you, I do it because I want to make you happy… since I've known you, nothing makes me happier than seeing you smile because of something I did… even when you're laughing at me."

"I've never laughed at you." She corrected.

"Maybe not in the literal sense, but that's not the point anyway." He continued. "I know you're not familiar with someone wanting to care for you, but you're just going to have to get used to it. Because as long as you'll have me, I will be here for you in anyway you need."

Mindful of the tray, Emily moved to settle on her hip, facing him. Her arms went over his shoulder again. "I can't tell you what that means to me. Are you sure you can keep this up? Because it won't be long before I'll be expecting this treatment on a regular basis."

Leaning closer, Reid brushed against her lips. "That's what I'm counting on."

With that they kissed. It was hard to believe this all came about because of a serial killer, but it did. They were so happy to be here, together, alone. To just be themselves. It was like nothing that existed outside of this room. And nothing would ever penetrate this perfect harmony they found.

Of course, just when it seems everything is perfect… that's the moment when things go wrong.

Reid and Emily ate their breakfast together. With her broken wrist, Emily had trouble cutting up her food which Reid was only to happy to oblige. After they had their fill, Emily said she wanted to take a bath. Reid wrapped up her cast again and helped her into the hot water, leaving her to relax while he cleaned up from their meal. By the time he was done, she was ready to get out and Reid helped her dry off and get dressed. The rest of the day belonged to them.

Reid didn't have much knowledge on the team. He had spoken to Rossi yesterday, letting him know they were okay and she was getting some rest. They had spoken again early this morning. Apparently, over the last day, they'd made some progress on the case. Reid had given directions to the cabin and Rossi agreed to drive up to see them. He would be there after dark. Emily was very excited to see him, considering how scared she was when they parted, believing they'd never see each other again.

The rest of the day was spent indoors. It grew colder as the afternoon settled in and Reid lit a fire. Emily entertained herself by taking in what there was to know about the cabin. Many of Gideon's things had been removed when he left, replaced now by Reid's. There were a few odd things that didn't belong to the boy genius; some old clothes that were too big for him and definitely not his style, the Charlie Chaplin film the team had watched once after one case (Emily remembered that vividly since she and the girls had thrown popcorn at Reid almost the whole time). What intrigued Emily most, however, was what she found in a small cabinet in the bedroom. A large, leather bound photo album filled with pictures that couldn't be of Gideon. She never remembered him looking this happy.

"Gideon had a nice family." Emily noted as she sat cross legged on the couch. Reid had put a frozen pizza in the oven for dinner. Not exactly gourmet, but he could manage reading directions on the back of a box. He poured two glasses or red wine and brought them out to Emily to join her on the sofa.

"He didn't speak of them much." Reid said, looking over her shoulder to see a black and white photo of a young boy, about twelve. He looked a lot like his father. "He didn't even carry around a picture of his son… it's odd because most people carry pictures of the ones they love. A way to keep them safe."

"Maybe he thought his son would be safer if he kept him away from him." Emily theorized, taking a sip of her wine. "Probably why he keeps the people he loves at arm's length."

"Probably why he never said goodbye." Reid agreed. "It's easier to leave if you disappear… not be around to see the effects of your departure."

She looked over to him, and could see his mentor's rejection still stung him. Emily remembered how distressed he'd been after Gideon left… leaving him the same way as his father did. Reid didn't do well with goodbyes, especially if it seemed he wasn't worthy of one.

"You never got over his leaving you, huh?" She asked, brushing his cheek with her good hand.

"I've moved on," He nodded, putting on a fake smile. "I used to hope Gideon would come back into my life and… I could talk to him one more time… but I've accepted that will never happen. Gideon's gone, that's the end of it."

"Does he ever come here?" Emily wondered.

"I've never run into him, and there would be a lot clues if someone were here when I wasn't, I'd be able to tell." He gave a shrug. "I don't imagine he'll come back here. He told me he bought this place right after his marriage broke up… and I guess he's over that now. Now he's off trying to find himself again."

"That could take a lifetime." Emily added, tossing the album onto the coffee table, still open. She nestled herself closer to the warm man beside her. "I, however, find myself very happy right here."

Reid smiled, wrapping her in his arms. The warmth of the fire spread, flowing around them like a warm bath. "Me, too." He sighed blissfully, pressing a kiss on the top of her head.

Late afternoon turned into night and soon the sun had set, turning the woods into darkness. After dinner, Emily insisted she help with the dishes, even with her bad arm, which proved to be a very humorous experience.

Afterward, they relaxed on the couch with more wine, wrap in each other's embrace before the comforting fire. "This is nice," Reid mentioned. "I've never done anything like this before."

Neither had she, come to think of it. She never had a lover she just wanted to snuggle with, savoring essence of the other person. It was wonderful being with someone like this. And she knew one thing that could make it even better. Giving him a smile, she sat up, "I'll be right back."

Pulling away from, Emily rushed back to the bedroom, disappearing for several minutes. Reid was both anxious yet intrigued by the prospect.

In a moment she returned, not in a different outfit or anything but with a large book in hand. "I thought maybe we could read to each other."

To another man, that would be neither fun nor romantic. Reid, however, lit up at the idea, taking the book from her. Emily snuggled with him again on the sofa as he carefully opened the cover.

"I love this book so much." Reid said, flipping through the pages of his Edgar Allan Poe book. "My mother gave this to me when I was seven… I read it in one day, I loved it so much."

"You should take it back, Spencer." Emily said, leaning closer to him. "It means so much to you, you shouldn't let me keep it."

He looked back at her, his eyes glowing just as brightly as he did on the pages of his beloved book. "I does mean a lot to me… but you mean more."

With that, he leaned down and met her lips. A delicate and sweet kiss. Emily reached up to cup his cheek, wanting to hang onto him as long as possible.

As they parted, they looked lovingly on each other before Emily snuggled close to him, "You pick," She sighed, leaning onto his side.

Rossi got there very late indeed. It was almost midnight before the alarm sounded that someone was on their way. Reid and Emily had drifted off during The Pit and the Pendulum, alerted awake by the buzzing sound. Going to check the monitor, he saw for sure it was Rossi's car. They were safe.

Soon headlights shinned down the dirt path towards the cabin. Reid went to switch on the porch light, watching through the window as the car parked next to Reid's. He waited until he saw Rossi distinctly illuminated before going to greet him at the door.

"Hell of a drive up here." He mentioned crossing over the threshold. He removed his damp jacket, revealing a light rain had started outside. "I almost couldn't make it up that path."

"Sorry, it wasn't supposed to rain tonight." Reid said, taking his coat. He switched off the porch light again before locking the door securely. "Have any trouble getting here?"

"The team knows I came to see you. I practically had to tie Morgan down not to come with me." He looked over to see Emily standing beside the sofa. "He's worried about the both of you… I can respect that."

Delighted, Emily rushed over to give him a hug. It seemed silly she'd been so afraid before. Of course she was going to see him again. They were safe here, Reid was protecting her, and Rossi and the others were doing everything to stop Collin. There was nothing to be scared of, everything was going to be just fine.

"How are you feeling, Emily?" He asked, as he held her in his arms.

"Not bad," She smiled, pulling away to see his face. "Spencer's taking very good care of me."

"So, he's Spencer again, huh?" He asked glancing back at the boy. He blushed a bit at that.

She laughed. "I think it suits him better. Besides, it's awkward calling out someone's last name in the throes of passion."

Reid's face was getting steadily redder at that comment. Rossi, however, was amused. "I'm impressed, he must be good then."

"More than," She grinned, "And I think Reid's pretty satisfied himself, but I can't speak for him."

"Alright!" Reid cried, his face a deep crimson red at this point. "I'm… going to make coffee."

Emily giggled, a little guiltily. Maybe they did get a few too many laughs at his expense… but he was just too cute, she couldn't resist.

Rossi sat down getting warm by the fire while Reid fixed coffee, Emily sat across from him. He brought them each a cup and some cookies to share. "I figured you might be a little hungry after your trip." He said, sitting beside Emily and putting his arm around her.

"Right you are," He said as he took two as well as his coffee.

"How is everyone?" Emily asked with worry. She wanted so much to speak to them, even if it was just to say thank you… but she knew better. It could do more harm than good.

"They're alright. They're worried about both of you, especially Morgan." He kept his news broad for the time being. Emily didn't need the added concern that her career might be in danger. "They're working harder than I've ever seen to track down this guy."

"Any luck?" Reid wondered.

Rossi answered, "Depends what you mean by luck. I'm sorry to say Sutter has not been apprehended yet."

"No surprise." Emily replied, saddened just the same. "If you had, you'd have called and told us we could come home."

"That doesn't mean we're not close." He continued. "We've all been working tirelessly today to track him down. We did a lot of research and he's been keeping a low profile. However, Morgan did some poking around. It turns out he's infiltrated a lot of places the whole team tends to frequent. Garcia found a picture of him and… it turns out he was the new bartender the night you were on that supposed date with Rawson."

That explained everything perfectly. It was possible he might even have gone there looking for Emily that night, killing Rawson when he didn't get what he wanted… and the poor English man had no idea why.

"He didn't go to the hospital, did he?" Reid mentioned. "Or… did he find one out of town?"

"We're suspecting the former." He explained. "JJ got in touch with his landlord in California. He wasn't even aware Sutter was out of town. His rent was months over due and he'd sent him several eviction notices. He was getting furious his tenant didn't respond and was about to get the police involved… he asked her what area of the FBI he should contact to get the money he was owed."

"Unbelievable." Emily rolled her eyes.

"If he skipped out on his rent, he had no intention of going back." Reid inferred.

Rossi explained further. "Garcia also discovered he is drowning in debt. Over a $100,000 worth. He took out loans, borrowed money from third party companies. Along with all the interest that can accumulate, nothing short of a miracle could keep that man out of prison."

"It takes years for someone to gain that kind of debt." Emily said, looking between the two men. "I can't understand how he acquired so much."

"His life has to be a mess, and it's probably even worse knowing it's in no way what he planned. He's desperate to finally get things back in his control." Reid assured.

"Exactly, and in his mind, he believes it all went wrong when Emily walked away from him." Rossi added. "He blames himself that Emily didn't love him and won't make the same mistake this time."

Emily shifted uncomfortably in her seat, clutching to Reid's hand tighter. No matter how she tried to ignore it, she blamed herself for this. Obviously, she'd done something wrong when she left him all those years ago… but short of staying with a man she didn't love, what else could she have possibly done?

"Anyway, that's not important right now." Rossi said, brushing it aside. "Through his landlord, he lead us to his employer who, apparently, is the same cleaning company that employed his mother twenty five years ago. He quit out of the blue about a month ago. He sent a forwarding address to have his last paycheck sent to him."

"To DC?" Reid asked, hopeful.

"Fairfax," Rossi corrected. "I have to admit, this guy's smart. He targets women in the city, he stalks Emily there, but he keeps his domicile and everyday connections a half hour away. We went to raid his apartment… but it looks like we missed him."

"He skipped out again?" Reid wondered, glancing at Emily. They knew before Rossi even said it. Sutter was trying to track them down.

"We have a police detail on 24 hour surveillance, but he hasn't shown up yet. Inside, we found another victim who fits his desired appearance, but she's only seventeen. A prostitute, and we think she was kept captive for awhile."

Reid added, "She could have disappeared and no one would notice. Police rarely look into those cases."

Both of them agreed. "She was killed the same way as the other girls, stabbed in the head, numerous times in the genitals and-"

"Sixteen times in the chest." Reid interrupted. "His magic number."

"There was something else," Rossi said. "He had fastened something around the girl's neck... with Emily's pin on it."

Emily gasped, "Like a choker?'

"Yeah, how'd you know that?" Rossi wondered, intrigued.

"It, uh..." She closed her eyes and shook her head, as if she still couldn't believe this was happening. "It was how I wore the necklace to the coming out. Princess Diana was really big at that time and she wore a lot of jewelry like that, so I copied the idea with my grandmother's pin... in fact, I never took it off all night."

"A handy piece of information to have." Rossi said, trying to lighten the morbidity of this.

All the tranquility Emily had been experiencing this weekend was quickly dispersing, hard to believe a moment ago they were blissfully happy. "I guess Reid didn't shoot him in the arm as badly as we hoped."

"There you'd be wrong." Rossi answered. "Judging by the blood soaked paper towels in his apartment, Sutter is suffering from a very deep bullet wound."

"That's impossible." Reid shook his head. "If he lost that much blood, he wouldn't be walking."

"Well, I guess he was lucky. It's deep, but didn't do enough structural damage to bring him down… yet." Rossi mentioned, seeing that Emily was crossing the threshold from worried into panicked. "A wound like that can't go untreated. In another day or so, it's going to get infected; he will get weak and sick and then he'll have to go for help. This time, we've alerted all hospitals in DC, Virginia, and Maryland. He'll have to drive for over a day to find somewhere he's safe. He won't have that kind of time."

She scoffed, "I guess that's good news… though the cabin is less than a day's drive away."

"He doesn't know where you are. No one does but me." Rossi assured. "And anyway, he'd be much too weak to attack you in that condition."

"Unless he's running on adrenaline, that's a powerful drug." Reid corrected. He got a glare from both Rossi and Emily, realizing he should have bit his tongue.

"Nevertheless, there's no reason to think he won't be caught in a day or two." Rossi informed. "You two couldn't be safer than you are now. And I know for a fact I was not followed, so… hang in there."

Emily answered with a hesitant, "If you say so."

"If my instincts are correct, you two aren't exactly suffering from cabin fever." He said with a wink. "Alone in the mountains, a roaring fire, wine, no one around for miles, this is better my first honeymoon. I'd say you're not having too bad a time."

"We are," Reid smiled, pulling Emily closer to him, who gratefully fell into his embrace. "We just spent the last few hours reading Poe to each other, it's been a very passionate evening."

"Wow, Emily, you must love him." Rossi said with a wink.

But Emily didn't find that quite so funny. Looking beside her, she gave a gentle smile with glistening eyes. "Yeah," She muttered, leaning closer to him. "I really do."

With that, she pressed a kiss to his cheek which, needless to say, his face turned to a shade of bright pink. Rossi's chuckle didn't help either.

Reid quickly looked for a change of subject. "Uh… any other information you have for us, Dave?"

His smile appeared sincere, he replied, "Nothing you two need to worry about right now. You don't need to worry, we're going to bring Sutter down. He has to be getting anxious by now, he knows he's running out of time to get to you… and that force him to make a mistake. We'll get him."

He sounded so confident, Emily felt guilty she didn't share it with him. "I hope you're right."

"I know I'm right!" Rossi exclaimed, grinning wider. "We are all behind you, Emily. Sutter can run, but he can't hide from us, we're the best."

They were, she knew that. "Thank you. And tell the team I said thank you, and… I will do whatever it takes to make this up to them."

"I think you coming home safe will be enough." Rossi replied. "Although, if you're feeling generous…"

With a laugh, Emily stood up. A little more at ease, the wine was starting to get to her. "If there's nothing else, I think I'm going to go to bed."

"Good idea, you need you're rest." Reid responded, also getting to his feet as well as Rossi.

"You'll be in soon?" She asked, giving him two big, hopeful brown eyes that made his stomach turn to liquid.

"As soon as I show Rossi out," He answered, with that, placing a kiss on her temple. "I'll be right in."

She gave him a bright smile before turning to Rossi. Her expression was much softer and grateful now. "Thank you for coming up here."

"Well, I have to admit, it was partially for my benefit." He said, a twinkle in his eyes. "I had to make sure you were okay."

Emily pulled him into a hug. "When will we see you again?"

"If we don't catch Sutter before then, a couple of days." He said, holding her just as closely. She clung to him so tightly, like a little girl needing her father after a nightmare… only she couldn't wake up from it. "I'll call tomorrow to check on you."

"We'll talk to you then," Emily said, pulling away. Her eyes were sparkling with tears.

"Get some rest," He assured and watched as Emily took one more glance at Reid – a look filled with love and warmth and affection – before hurrying down the corridor. They watched as the door closed, resting just against the frame.

"This is a nice place." Rossi said, looking around. "This was Jason Gideon's cabin, is that right?"

"Yeah," Reid answered. "Did you know him?"

"I've met him a couple of times, but I've never had the opportunity to work with him, no." He said. "I hear he was pretty close to you."

Reid nodded. He was beginning to sense Rossi wasn't curious about Gideon, more stalling for time. "He was my mentor… on Emily's first case, it was just her, me, and Gideon."

"Is that a fact?" Rossi mumbled. His eyes were looking down into the fire.

They were wasting time. Rossi had a long drive ahead of him and unless he was hinting he wanted to stay the night – which they had no problem with – he needed to say his piece.

"What's going on?" Reid asked.

"Look, there's something I need to warn you about." Rossi informed. "I didn't want to tell Emily yet because she's nervous enough."

Meanwhile, on the other end of the cabin, Emily was busy getting ready for bed. She was pulling on another long nightshirt, something to keep her warm. The fire was nice, but it didn't reach to the back of the house.

The door was not shut all the way. Snippets of the continuing conversation were drifting down the corridor. Emily wasn't paying anything attention. She was more focused on adjusting the cotton fabric on her body.

However, at the sound her name, Emily stopped… were they talking about her in there?

Carefully, she snuck over to the door, inching it open just slightly, the better to hear. Their words were still soft, but she was able to make out the majority of the discussion.

"…something… something important both of you need to know."

Reid paused a moment before he asked with great apprehension. "What is it?"

After Rossi cleared his throat, he responded. "Hotch… is a bit suspicious. I think he knows there's something going on between you two."

Emily had to control herself not to gasp. "What did you tell him?" Reid asked.

"Nothing. He questioned me about it, but I wouldn't respond. If I don't answer, he can't hold me to anything."

"But doesn't that make you look suspicious?" Reid wondered.

"Not as much as you might think. Everything in this establishment is politics, which has a very linear perspective." He answered. "I just wanted to put you on alert… when you guys get home… you might have so more issues to deal with."

Things could not get worse, it seemed. Emily let out a long, low growl at that, leaning her head against the wall. She knew this would most likely become an issue one day with their job… but not so soon. Getting Morgan off her back was one thing. Definitely not as much of a challenge as Hotch, who was a lot more determined and had a lot more power. Being happy and in love with no problems might be something she and Reid would never get to have.

If that wasn't enough to weigh on her mind, Reid continued. "I don't care."

"What do you mean you don't care?" Rossi wondered.

Emily stood up at attention. _What do you mean you don't care?_

"I… don't care." Reid answered. "Look… I love my job. I don't like the aspect of it, the horrors of it, but I'm happy with the difference I've been making in the world. But… that pales in comparison to Emily. I finally found something in my life that makes me happy all the time… I don't need anything else with her. If it's a problem for Hotch… fine. I'll just quit. Nothing can stop us then. I've fought too long and hard for her, I'm not going to give her up because of a stupid job."

Did Reid really just say those words? He would quit his job so they could stay together, take the metaphorical bullet for her as it were so she wouldn't have to make the sacrifice… but she wasn't so sure she'd want him to.

At that moment, Emily was beginning to notice a pattern, starting at the age of fifteen. Matthew, who's life had begun to spiral out of control after her abortion. Maybe that was an path he was doomed to travel down anyway, but it still didn't stop her from bearing the guilt. Next was Collin, who's entire life was centered around her, the one who got away. He was a sweet boy, smart and kind, who could have done so much good for the world, yet his life was completely altered because she didn't love him and he couldn't get over it. Two separate people who's lives were ruined because Emily touched them.

And now… she was about to have a third. Spencer Reid, who threw his career away because he fell in love with a stupid girl. It would ruin his life, all because of her.

Emily couldn't listen anymore. Closing the door would alert the others she'd been eavesdropping. Carefully, she tip toed away from the door, over to the bed, her mind swimming with horrible thoughts.

* * *

><p>"Are you sure about that, Reid?" Rossi asked. "That's a major decision."<p>

"I don't want to quit my job." Reid answered. "I would only use that as a last resort… but it is a card I'm willing to play."

"Well, we all know you're a very good card player, so I trust your judgment." Rossi answered with confidence. "Well, it's getting awfully late, I'd better get back on the road if I want to get home in time to get some sleep before work tomorrow. I'll call you in the afternoon."

Reid walked Rossi over to the door, lighting up the porch light once again. Everything outside looked just as it should, the woods looming in the darkened distance like that horizon of a horror movie. "I hope you'll have more news for us."

He opened the door as Rossi pulled on his coat. "I hope so, too. In the meantime, you two stay safe."

"We will." Reid assured. "Nothing's going to get to us out here."

Neither one could have wagered just how wrong that sentence was.

* * *

><p>The rain had stopped by the time Rossi got out to his car. The air was chilled, filled with a fresh mountain scent only a shower of nature could bring. It was nice here, but something about it made Rossi unsettled… and he normally liked the woods.<p>

Grabbing his keys, Rossi unlocked his car, climbing into the front seat. He turned on the ignition, hearing the engine roar to life. The usual alerts sounded on his dash, nothing major. As he reached for his seatbelt, he heard a out of place ding, looking to see what it indicated.

The trunk was open.

How could that be? His trunk was closed when he left… he'd stopped at three gas stations on the way here, each time he got back in the car, there was no indication. Climbing back out of the car, he went around to check. His shoes slipped a bit in the fresh mud.

The trunk didn't appear open. At first, Rossi believed the alert was on the fritz, but upon closer inspection, he saw that wasn't the case. The trunk was open. Just a crack, just enough were the latch couldn't catch and therefore, set off the alarm.

Carefully, he lifted it, checking inside. Nothing. As usual, his trunk was empty, and there wasn't a piece visible to the naked eye to suggest something out of the ordinary. Although… he'd have to get it cleaned as soon as possible. Typically, he drove his other car, but had chosen this one today because it handled the terrain better. He couldn't remember the last time this space saw attention… it smelled strongly of mold.

Apparently, it hadn't been closed properly before. One bump in the dirt path set it off, most likely. There were a lot of them back there. Rossi slammed the door down, making sure the latch caught this time before carefully making his way back to the front, too concerned with getting through the mud to notice the extra set of footprints disappearing into the woods.

At last, he made it back into his car. Everything was fine this time when he started the engine. Buckling up, Rossi carefully pulled away from the cabin, back down the path and towards civilization. The two were left behind in the woods… all alone.


	22. The Light of Day

Emily, sitting on the edge of the bed, sprang up as she heard footsteps down the hall. Within a moment, Reid appeared through the doorway, giving her a loving smile as he stepped into the bedroom.

"Rossi just drove away. All the doors and windows are locked and the fire's out. Are you aright?"

She nodded, trying to push her guilt and fears away. He closed the door softly, shutting them safely inside. Slowly, he walked to her and Emily could feel herself anticipating his arms draping around her again. Like it had been months since he last held her... how could one man have this kind of hold on her, it didn't seem possible.

Within reach, he pulled her into his arms, meeting her in a kiss. It was moments like this that Emily noticed just how tall he was... he was much more of a man than appearance suggested. She stood on the balls of her feet in order to reach his level. His kiss was so powerful, it made her forget about the rest of the world for a moment... her mind was free of danger and impending consequences.

They gasped as their kiss ended, Reid's protective arms held onto her as she stumbled back onto solid ground, her good hand clinging to his arm.

"Ready for bed?" He asked, still trying to catch his breath.

His question said more than it suggested. If she hadn't heard the rest of that conversation, nothing would have stopped her. She'd have smirked and grapped him by his shirt to drag him down to the bed with her, but now there was a road block, and it had nothing to do with her stalker. It was possible she was overreacting, and perhaps it wouldn't seem so bad in the light of day.

"Actually, um..." Her voice came out sounding very worn. She could only hope he wouldn't suspect anything. "I'm really tired and... a little dizzy. I probably shouldn't have had all that wine. Would you mind if... we just went to sleep?"

No surprise, he was a little disappointed, but not in the least upset. "Sure... I'm sorry, you need your rest. Just let me change and then we'll go to sleep."

"Alright," she nodded, hanging her head a bit. Her eyes landed on his line of buttons, her finger tracing the trail as her mind wandered a moment, trying to make sense of anything.

"Emily," Reid mentioned. It barely penetrated her thoughts. "Emily... is something bothering you?"

She stuttered a bit, caught off guard. "What? No... nothing's bothering... well, I'm just... thinking about Collin, that's all. It... it still unnerves me to know he's out there."

"Out there, yes but he's miles and miles away." Reid assured. "We're safe here, and if you don't believe that yet, I'll do whatever it takes to keep reassuring you it's true. Remember, Emily," He stroked the apple of her cheek with his thumb. "Collin's got to get through me to get to you... and I'll die before I let that happen."

"Coming from a man who's stared death in the face so many times and lived... I feel pretty comforted by that." She said, and with that reached up to pull him into another kiss. He was risking so much to be with her, including his life. That wasn't fair. She'd already ruined the lives of two men, she couldn't possibly let it turn into a third... especially when she loved him so much.

She wasn't going to figure anything out tonight. After a good night's rest, she'd be able to think more clearly. Reid wouldn't keep this from her, either, not before he made any decisions. When he told her, they would discuss it. For now... they could just be together.

They parted again and Reid reached to press a kiss on the cotton of her shoulder. "I'll be right back."

"I'll be waiting," She said as he pulled from her arms. Emily watched as he headed into the bathroom, waiting until the door closed before she went back to the bed. She managed to take her own eye drops before slipping under the soft sheets, resting back on the pillows.

The curtains were open, revealing the forest in the night. The clouds were beginning to break, revealing the bright glowing stars and the subtle sliver of a crescent moon. It gleamed over the tops of the mountains on the horizon, the lush leaves of the hundreds of trees rustled in the gentle wind. The rain had stopped and Emily felt a longing to open the window to breath in the fresh scent. It was already too cold in this room. Perhaps in the morning, she and Spencer could sit on the front porch for awhile. She hadn't been outside in almost too days, she would need to get out tomorrow.

Reid returned after freshening up, leaving the bathroom door open a crack. The light remained on. Emily usually preferred the dark, but if that was how Reid felt comfortable, she didn't mind. In truth, she could use a little extra light right now.

He went to his bag to fetch a pair of subtle purple pajamas. Once he changed, he climbed into the other side of the bed, lying on his side to face her. She felt his feet land on hers and she gasped lightly. They were freezing cold, but she didn't pull away.

He hadn't realized just how tired he was himself. Reid knew it wouldn't be long before he fell into a very deep sleep. How restful it would be, he wasn't sure, because ever since he'd come into this room, something bothered him about Emily. She seemed a little distracted... almost like she didn't want him here.

"Are you sure you're alright?" He asked, reaching over to push her hair back, the better to see her face.

"I'm fine." She avowed with a nod. "Mainly because I'm with you... I'd never be able to get through this if it weren't for you."

"I don't believe that for a second." Reid said. "You're an incredible woman, there's nothing you can't do."

Except protect him from herself. Emily hid that thought with a smile. "I think I'm just a little rattled from Rossi's visit... I'd almost completely forgot about Collin... it's like he's right in front of my face but I'm too blind to see him. It makes me understand what bothers you so much about the dark."

"Funny thing about the dark... it's not so bad when you're with someone." He said kindly, reaching over to give her a quick kiss. "Let's go to sleep... things always look better in daylight."

Just as she was hoping for. "Will you hold me?" She asked timidly.

She didn't even have to ask. Without another word, Reid moved closer, pulling her lithe body into his arms. Emily snuggled closer to him, feeling his body cocoon around her. She let out a deep, contented sigh, feeling much safer here. She couldn't lose him, not ever. Whatever the consequences were, she'd take it... even if it ruined both of them, she'd take it just to have him for just a short time.

Together, the couple relaxed in each others arms, slowly falling to sleep. Their heart beats were matched and even, almost like they were one. One body, one soul. Here, all alone... it seemed so perfect.

Things aren't always as they seem. Because things weren't perfect and, more importantly, they weren't alone, which Reid would have seen had his back not been towards the window.

* * *

><p>Just before six am, the stage was set. The familiar podium stood before the group of cameras, photographers and journalists began to take their seats. JJ was getting the last few touch ups to her makeup as Hotch continued prepping her.<p>

"Keep the focus on Sutter. Don't mention Emily's name or any personal details. Talk about his victims and mention he's currently targeting another. It's extremely important we locate him immediately."

"I understand, sir." JJ assured. Honestly, they always treated her like some intern about to give a speech. Giving these interviews wasn't very pleasant, but she knew how to handle it. She knew what to focus on. This was the bridge that would bring the team to catching Sutter and no one could build it better and faster than she.

"We're airing in 60 seconds, Agent Jareau." Informed one of the broadcasters. She exchanged one last confident glance with Hotch before heading out to the podium.

The heat of the lights warmed her immediately. She squinted a moment as she got her bearings before the crowd, turned to silhouttes by the glare. Her notes had already been placed on the pulpit. Within a moment, the broadcaster gave her the cue. She was airing live.

For split second she wondered if somewhere, Reid and Emily were watching this right now. If not, it would be replayed throughout the day on the televised news, as well as on the radio. It comforted her a bit, as if this was her way to reach them and let them know they were behind them and were going to bring them home.

"My name is Agent Jennifer Jareau. I work for the Behavioral Analysis Unit for the FBI." She glanced to the side, exchanging a confident glance with her unit chief. His subtle nod of approval pushed her forward.

"We are looking for this man. His is name is Collin Sutter and is in his early forties." Sutter's picture would be appearing on the screen, revealed for all viewers to see. "This man is responsible for the deaths of six women and is certain to be targeting a seventh. For the sake of privacy, we are not revealing her identity. The man is currently suffering from a gun shot wound in his arm which he so far has failed to have properly treated. Local hospitals and clinics are on the watch for him and we are now asking citizens to do the same. Please study this picture intently."

She took a pause, clearing her throat before continuing. "If you believe you've spotted Collin Sutter, do not approach him. We believe he is armed and will kill to ensure his own safety. If anyone sights this man in the DC or surrounding areas, we are asking you call the number at the bottom of your screen. I want to stress another time it is imperative we catch this man as soon as possible. A woman's life is in grave danger and he won't stop hunting her until we stop him. Thank you for your help."

Immediately, the reporters raised hands and began screaming out JJ's name to be heard, desperate to have questions answered. No doubt looking for details on Sutter and his victims, wanting to know who this mysterious woman might be. She'd given them what they needed, that was enough. Now Sutter would have no where to hide. Everyone in the city would be informed on him.

A rush of cool air hit her as she stepped off the stage. Grateful to be out of the spotlight, JJ blinked as the world became unnaturally dark, approaching Hotch once again. "Satisfied?" She asked.

"Short and concise, I think that will do the trick." Hotch replied. There was a shadow of a pleased expression on his face, the closest he came to a smile on the everday basis.

Their work done here, they hurried down to get to the car, needing to get back to the unit as fast as possible. "So what's the plan now?"

"Well, until we have a lead to Sutter's location, we're on our own." Hotch informed. "It could take hours before we get any usual information, if any at all. Right now, we have to go on what we know."

"Morgan and I should probably check out Sutter's apartment again. There might be something hidden there we didn't think to search before. Like Giles during the Fischer King case."

"True," Hotch agreed. "So far, the police say there's been no sign of him at either Prentiss's or Reid's apartments. Rossi and I are going to follow up on his work at the bar, we haven't spoken to the proprietor yet. Since Sutter's in such financial trouble, Garcia's looking through any local identity thefts since he arrived from California."

They made it out the front doors. It was an absolutely beautiful day, with the golden summer sun illuminated the crystal blue sky. The fresh smell of summer wafted around them. A shame to waste a day like this indoors. They both wondered if the weather was just as lovely where their friends were. If so, they could at least enjoy it.

The standard issue government SUV sat just where they parked it hours earlier. The two agents headed down to street towards it, continuing their discussion. "Sutter must be going crazy not knowing where Emily is."

"I'd say so, and I'd say he's getting pretty desperate. The longer she's missing, the more likely he'll slip up. That's the moment we'll catch him." He added as he pulled out the keys. The two climbed into their respective sides of the car.

As his door slammed closed, Hotch paused for a moment before putting the keys in the ignition. "What is it?" JJ asked, watching him.

"I'm just considering something." He enlightened. "Sutter needs to find Emily. She's all he can think about. It's the definition of obsession."

"So what are you thinking?" She asked.

"Whenever he killed, she was in his mind's eye. Everything he did to his victims was a reflection of Emily. Maybe we need to reexam the victimology. What do all the victims have in common?"

JJ began to rattle off the similarities. "They all reflected Emily's looks and age. They shared a similiar lifestyle."

"What about the deaths themselves?" Hotch replied. "They were killed the same way. We determined the stab wounds in the chest reflect the age he fell in love with her."

"The prostitute stands out in my mind." JJ said. "She wore Emily's pin around her neck, which she said was the same way she wore it at her coming out party. None of the women did that."

"Yes, but Sutter didn't get that pin until he broke into Emily's apartment." Hotch retorted.

She shook her head. "He could have found a subsitute until he had the real thing."

"That's the only difference." He answered, slouching back in his seat, a bit deflated.

"Wait," JJ exclaimed, "no it's not... one of the victims was found in her bathtub. All the others were in bed, including the prostitute."

It had been strange before, but now it stuck out like a red rose in a black and white picture. "Why did that one waver?"

Finally, Hotch started the car. "I think that's exactly what we'll be searching for today."

JJ agreed, hearing the engine ignite to life.

* * *

><p>Things did indeed look better the next morning. Emily woke before Reid, still finding his arms wrapped around her. His serene breath was heavy on her neck. In the night, he had nestled down, resting his head against her shoulder. She turned slightly to place a kiss on the top of his chestnut hair. He looked so happy here and she held him tighter, wishing things never had to change. That they could just stay in this perfect place forever.<p>

Maybe she was jumping to conclusions. Really, if Rossi kept their confidence, how much could Hotch figure out on his own? If she and Reid kept themselves in check better, he would have no reason to suspect anything. Not to mention, while Hotch did toe the line as much as possible, he cared about this team. He wouldn't be thrilled at the idea of having to mess with this fragile balance by removing one, if not two, vital members. He would search for any way to keep the group together.

There was nothing to trouble over until something was set in stone. She had bigger problems to asses at the moment. Her stalker was a major concern, although at the moment her biggest one was whether she should lie here and just watch him sleep... or wake him up to make for last night.

That problem was answered before she'd barely begun to assess it. Reid began to stir, his internal clock telling him it was time to rise. He let out a grunt as he shifted a bit, his eyes fluttering open. Instantly, he smiled, catching the gaze of the beautiful woman staring down at him.

"Good morning," He said groggily, resting his head on the pillow.

"Morning," Emily said kindly. He was realieved to see whatever was bothering her last night had disappeared into the night. "Are you going to make me breakfast?"

He let out a chuckle, closing his eyes for another second. "I think I'm starting to spoil you."

"Hey, I'm injured." She whined as she rested her cast on his shoulder. "And anyway, who says I'm not going to make it up to you?"

"So you're going to make me breakfast in bed when you get better?" He questioned, finding her eyes again.

"Well, sure," She giggled, and with that felt all her insecurities go out the window and pushed him over with her legs. Emily moved to straddle him, seeing his expression turn from relaxed to surprised. "But I'm not sure I want to wait that long."

"I thought you wanted breakfast." Reid said, staring anxiously up at her. A moment ago, he could barely keep his eyes open. Now he felt strong enough to endure a marathon... and he had a feeling he was about to.

"Let's work up an appetite first." She smirked with a raise of her eyebrows and leaned down to bring him into a very passionate kiss.

He had no other response but a wanton moan. His body being held prisoner between her gorgeous legs was enough to rise a man from the dead. He suddenly found himself finding himself soaring with energy. She was even better than coffee.

His hands landed on the hem of her shirt, which he slowly began to push up, revealing her creamy thighs. Emily had no reservations this morning, all barriers down. As their kiss broke, she barely gave him a moment to replenish his air before they fused together again.

Reid's hands slid under her nightgown. As one stroked her breast, she pulled away to gasp, all thought vanishing from her mind. Grinding her hips against him, Reid matched her gasp with a low groan. Rational thought was quickly vanishing from both of them... and had it been another moment, nothing would have distracted them from each other until they both collapsed at their completion.

Emily pulled from him, smiling at him as she sat up straight. As she was about to pull off her nightgown, the room went suddenly dark. The light in the bathroom still on from when Reid went to bed flashed off. No warning, just a complete abscence of power. Both looked over at door, as if expecting someone to be standing there, responsible for switching it off.

They were about to brush it off as just a burnt out bulb... but a strange silence had filled the cabin. One neither could remember hearing before. It was something no one could notice when they first arrived... but now that it was gone, there was an eeire silence in the whole place. "What happened?" Emily asked.

Reid gently pushed her away, an indication to let him up. Their morning of passion put on hold as he went to check the light, reaching in to mess with the switch. Nothing, not even a flicker.

Instantly, Reid went over to try the bedroom light, but it also had no effect. The light remained off. Not a sound was heard within the walls of cabin, just the rustle of the trees outside the closed window.

"What's wrong?" Emily demanded, her hands clutching at the sheets. A sourness filled her stomach, suddenly feeling those horrible woes come back to her. It was like their kisses and touches hadn't even happened.

"Don't worry, this has happened before." He said, calmly but solemn.

"Great, so you know how to fix it?" Emily asked, hopeful.

"Yeah," He sadly replied. "Buy a new generator."

Her jaw dropped a second. "You're kidding."

"It went out like this when I was here with Gideon." He explained. "He was able to fix it, but he said that generator couldn't take much more. He was going to have to replace it soon... and I guess, since I'm the one using the place... that falls to me."

"Can't you fix it?" She asked. As soon as the words were out, she knew she was asking too much.

Reid considered that moment. Emily was watching him so hopefully. He couldn't let her down. And anyway, what were they supposed to do? Drive into town and get a motel room. An unmarried man and woman from out of town stuck out in places like that. No doubt there would be gossip. It was too much of a risk, even this far away from DC. He had to do all he could to keep them here.

"I can try." He promised.

Emily smiled gratefully at him. Manual labor was not his forte, and yet he was doing anything to keep his promise to her. "I'll help you."

"Really?" He asked, skeptical. Someone with Emily's background couldn't know much about electrical maintenance. Not the mention her assistance would be limited with only one good hand. "Do you know anything about fixing generators?"

She looked at him with an accusing expression. "Do you?"

He shrugged. "Touche."

Carefully, she climbed out of bed. "Come on. Let's get dressed and we'll figure it out." She gave him a shrug and a grin. "We're in this together, after all, aren't we?"

Absolutely they were. "Yeah," Reid nodded. "We'll figure it out."

The hurried to pull on some clothes so they could get to the basement and look at what they were dealing with. This wasn't exactly the romantic rendevous they were aiming towards, but it would certainly be an adventure.


	23. When it Rains, It Pours

Morgan drove to Collin's apartment. JJ sat by his side, glancing at him every now and then. He didn't say a word to her, responding with unintelligible grunts when she asked questions. Body language was a big tell with this man, and along with the thick tension, she could tell Morgan was not pleased with her.

Why, she didn't know. He wouldn't even look at her, just focused all his attention out the windshield. It was understandable he was worried and upset about Emily, but he had to realize this wasn't JJ's fault. She didn't deserve to be ignored and given the silent treatment.

She wanted to scream at him to know what the hell his problem was, but after so many years speaking to irritating law enforcement and standing before cameras, JJ knew how to keep her cool.

"I'm sorry, are you angry at me for something?" She asked pointedly.

At last, he uttered something known to the English language. "No."

That was it. JJ was not about to drop this so easily. "Did I offend you? Are you just upset about something? Because, frankly, you've been giving me the cold shoulder since Hotch sent us out on this assignment."

"I'm not mad at you, JJ." He stated plainly. "Not everything is about you."

She never said it was. "What is it? You know Emily's going to be okay."

"I know she'll be okay!" Morgan yelled, at last looking at her, his eyes hard and cold. JJ did not envy the many unsubs he'd stared down with that look. "She'll be okay and Reid will be okay... that doesn't mean I have to be happy they're God only knows where and this psychopath is after them. And we can't even protect them."

"I know... but you're not the only one who's worried." JJ answered. "It feels like this guy came out of nowhere. God only knows how long he's been hunting her, and now Reid's caught up in it, too. I have never felt so helpless... and we all know how protective you are of both of them, I can only imagine what you're going through. But it's not like we're just sitting around, we are doing everything in our power to help them."

Morgan softened a bit. He flipped on his turn signal. The apartment was a block over. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so cold with you... it's just I'm used to working with Emily. We know each other's movements, reactions. We know how to work together to bring down the bad guys and keep each other safe... I hate the fact I can't protect her... and I hate the fact she's not here to watch my back."

With a small smile, she shrugged. "You know I've got your back, Morgan."

It wasn't exactly the same, but it did ease his mind. "Right back at you."

The apartment sat at the end of the block. The cops sat in a beat up Chevy Nova on the other side, watching the building. In this neighborhood, they looked like two drug dealers waiting to make a score. They recognized Morgan immediately as he climbed out onto the street, giving him a nod of recognition. He patted his gun on his hip, eyeing JJ's on her own belt. They both knew how to draw like it was a natural reflex. They would be safe.

"I know how you feel, though." JJ said as they headed to the elevator. "Wanting to look out for Emily. Ever since Reid and separated at Henkle's place, we've always had a pact we'll never leave the other behind. At least you two didn't have to learn the hard way."

"I remember that." He said shaking his head. He'd thought about Henkle often this weekend. "Why does this case feel so similar?"

That was a question with no real answer. It just had a chill in the air... like a great battle was coming, and they were soldiers who didn't want to fight but had to. If not, all they knew would be lost.

"Where do you suppose they are?" She wondered as they stepped out of the elevator.

"Beats me." Morgan answered. "I know Reid pretty well and I can't think of one place he'd feel safe to escape to, let alone hide Emily."

"Maybe that's what makes it so perfect." She replied. "We didn't know Reid had a secret place and therefore, it's less likely to be found by an outsider."

"If that's the case... what else could that kid be hiding from us?" He speculated. "Maybe we don't know him as well as we thought."

Turning the corner, they headed down another corridor. At the end of the hall, the obvious police tape protecting Apartment 4G loomed in the late morning light through the dirty blinds of the single window. This whole place looked as if it hadn't been cleaned in years.

"Yeah," JJ continued. "Like... why Reid suddenly took it upon himself to take Emily away. Why she was at his place when her home was first broken into, why he immediately took the job of protecting her, why she ran away with him, as far as we know, without complaint."

"What are you getting at?" Morgan asked, confused, as he lifted up the police tape.

Slipping inside, she waited until he crouched under before she answered. "Look, I don't want to spread this around… firstly, I want to say that, for a while now… I've had a sense that Emily has feelings for Reid."

Morgan stood stunned for a moment, his mind immediately trying to determine what this woman knew. It appeared he and Rossi had been the only ones in the loop, and ever since Reid had gotten better, the relationship, the romance, everything… it was nonexistent. He felt so sorry for Emily, knowing how much she cared for him. Despite what she kept harping, he had a suspicion that everything was not dead and buried. And would never be until Reid knew the truth.

"What makes you think that?" He wondered, trying to sound nonchalant.

"It's something I've been detecting for a while," She explained. "I could see it when Reid was sick and I thought maybe it was just because he was weak and helpless and relied on her to guide him... ever since he's come back, she's been distant with him, until recently. Suddenly, Reid was looking out for her, they've spending all this time together. I caught them together at the Heritage Festival a few weeks ago… the way she was looking at him, especially when he was playing with Henry, it was something I'd never seen… like she was smitten by him. And call me crazy, but since then, it looked like Reid's got a new spring in his step… and now this, where he's suddenly become her knight in shining armor."

"You don't think this is just two friends mending a broken friendship?" He argued immediately.

"If you do, you're either lying or not very good at your job." She said without missing a beat. "If she does have feelings for him, they definitely not one sided.

"You believe there's something going on between Reid and Prentiss?" He questioned, much too seriously. He saw what this did to them before. How broken hearted Emily was, the way she cried in his arms… he never saw Emily cry. And Reid was so confused, obviously twisted with emotions he didn't understand.

It would explain, though… Reid with this wonderful new girl… Emily with a mysterious new man… neither of which had any concern that the other suddenly went missing… really, could it be?

She shook her head. "I don't want to start a rumor, I don't even want to discuss this beyond this room... it's just the theory I've formed, which is something I know is not as important to focus on right now."

"That'll be our special project when this is over." Morgan said, moving past her to step into the apartment. "First thing's first, track down Sutter."

In full agreement, she followed him into the apartment of the psychotic killer.

The place was wide and spacious. With the right decor, this would probably be a nice place to live... but right now, it looked like something out of a war zone.

Dust was everywhere, along with broken glass, food wrappers, and empty tin cans. Rotten food was littered among the rubbish littered around, matching the bundles of rat droppings. JJ cringed, trying to follow Morgan's path as best as possible.

"This place is disgusting." She groaned, trying not to breath in the heavy smell of feces shadowed by mold. She nearly vomited at the sight of the jug of sour milk turning to chunks on the window sill. "How does a person live like this?"

"With shoes on." Morgan answered. "Come on, the bedroom's in the back, let's start there. Avoid this landfill as much as possible."

At least this room wasn't suffering the same fate as the rest of the domicile. It was mostly occupied by a dirty mattress, the dried blood from the victim left there. Crime scene clean up would take care of this place in a day or so. For now, it was left to rot with the rest of the debris.

"If there's anything special to Sutter here, it'll be hidden." Morgan said, trying to find where he might stash something. Unfortunately, there didn't seem to be anything useful to hiding something. "Check for loose floor boards or breaks in the paneling on the wall."

JJ started pressing her foot along the floor, searching for something that might give. "He doesn't seem like the type to take trophies. Except for Emily's pin, and he put that on his next victim."

Instantly, Morgan stopped his search, thinking back for a moment. "Oh my God, it's just like Foyet. We recognized Prentiss's pin because she told us about it. If we hadn't known it was hers, we would have automatically assumed it was just the girl's attire."

"Only this time it's small, insignificant. Women have tons of jewelry, if a friend or a relative saw it, they may overlook it at first." JJ said. Just before stepping on the next floor board, she stood back, thinking. "So... what was on each victim that varied from girl to girl?"

They thought back for a moment, trying to discern what was on each girl. Without the photographs before them it was hard to tell. "God, I miss Reid." Morgan shook his head.

"Let's put a pin in that for later." JJ suggested, continuing on. "We'll check it out when we get- ugh!"

In an instant, Morgan watched as JJ's body collapsed the floor. "Whoa!" He cried hurrying over to her. "You alright, Jay?"

She groaned as she pulled herself onto her side. "Damnit," She whispered, seeing her foot twisted into the floor. A loose floor board had broken from the impact. Tugging on it, she struggled to unwedge the appendage from the wood.

"Hang on," Morgan assured, moving around to get a better grip on it. "Hold still, this might hurt."

Bracing herself, JJ waited as Morgan tugged on her foot. She was kicking herself for wearing her black leather boots today, when her flats had been right there in sight. With one finally, powerful yank, JJ cried out as Morgan at last removed her foot.

"Does it hurt, can you move it?" He asked as he helped her set it down.

"I'm alright," She sighed, breathing hard as she waited for the pain to subside. "I just need a minute."

"Floor is pretty weak here." He mentioned, leaning down to inspect the whole. Years of damage had taken its toll, from both insects and mold rot. The smell was intense, almost as bad as from the main room.

"Oh..." He uttered, looking down. "Oh my God... JJ, hand me your phone?"

"Why? What did you find?" She asked, whipping out her cell and passing it to him.

Morgan didn't answer at first. He wasn't sure what he had found. In the darkness, he could only make out some kind of shape.

Shining JJ's phone into the hole, it illuminated the space enough to reveal the object... a large locked box with a lid that didn't seem to fit quite right. Whether that was from age or it was just too full, he couldn't tell from here.

He handed back her phone and reached in to pull out the box. The floor started to crack further under the pressure of his hand, knowing he'd better be quick before the wood gave and he'd crash just like the girl behind him, still in considerable pain.

The box had a considerable weight, and Morgan had to be cautious as he angled it out of the hole, not wanting the lid to fly open the contents to escape. JJ watched with interest as Morgan pulled himself out of the danger zone, setting the object down where they both could see.

"Do you think this is Sutter's?" JJ asked.

"It has to be." Morgan answered. "That place is covered in dust and cobwebs, no one's been in there for decades. This doesn't have enough debris on it than to have been in there for more than a few months."

JJ waited impatiently as Morgan carefully lifted off the lid. It gave easily, first revealing a folded up newspaper of several pages. He opened the paper at once, searching for a date.

"Oh my God," Morgan said again, reading over the headline. "This is almost twenty years old, from California. A woman committed suicide in a stranger's home."

"Who would do that?" JJ wondered. "And why would that be important to Sutter?"

"Because the woman's name was Madeline Sutter." He explained, pointing it out to her.

"His mother?" JJ wondered.

"No, remember, his mother died a year ago. And anyway, even after all this time, she'd be too young." Morgan explained. "Give me a minute, I need to read this."

It was unsettling, passing the next ten minutes as Morgan read the article. This was usually Reid's territory. None of them could describe how much they wanted their team at full capacity again, it was hard to adjust when the dynamics were changed, like an animal placed in a new habitat.

"Definitely not his mother." Morgan answered, looking up to JJ. "Madeline Sutter, beloved wife of Collin."

Her jaw dropped slightly. "He was married?"

"Apparently, for about three years. According to this article, they met at the University of Massachusetts, had no children... but it wasn't considered a clean suicide."

"How do you mean?" She wondered.

"Well, despite how it looked, the cops suspected it might be murder. The owners of the home never heard of either of the Sutters, they lived in a complete different part of town, where the neighbors weren't… quite so hospitable, if you know what I mean."

"Was Collin accused?" She questioned.

But Morgan didn't respond. A light ignited in his eyes, as he read the next part. Looking up, he found her eyes with shock and amazement. "Here's the big piece of evidence. Madeline Sutter was found in the bathtub, but the evidence suggests she didn't die there."

That was a much bigger piece of the puzzle. It didn't connect everything yet, but at least it meant the act wasn't random anymore.

As Morgan turned to the next page, he rolled his eyes. Folding it back, he held it up for JJ to see. "Remind you of anyone you know?"

"Oh sweet Lord," JJ exclaimed, taking the newspaper to pull it closer. A picture of Madeline Sutter in her better days was placed. A young brunette with a bright smile... if she didn't know better, she'd think this was Emily herself in her early twenties.

While JJ had the paper, Morgan returned to the box. There was more inside than just the current events of twenty years ago. Morgan reached in to find the object. Hundreds of photographs and loads of different jewelry.

"I don't think these murders go back to just the last month… or even a few. There's way too many." Morgan informed, flipping through the many pictures of smiling girls. The ages varied from late teens to late forties, but all were brunette. All could be a member of Emily's family.

He showed the evidence to JJ, who instantly became amazed. "This guy is a monster... do you think he's been killing because of Emily for two decades."

"If not for Emily, for Madeline. He's angry at one of them. Hell, maybe even both." Morgan answered, stuffing the photos back in the book before doing the same to the paper. "If he spread out his kills and kept moving around, it's definitely possible. Let's get this stuff back to the unit so we can do a better investigation. Can you walk?"

"I think so." JJ said, managing to pull herself on her feet. Her ankle was sore and would no doubt swell up soon, but it wasn't unmanageable. Slowly, she followed Morgan out of the room, both plugging their noses from the putrid rot and mold of the next room, and stepped out the apartment, heading down to the car.

* * *

><p>At least he remembered flashlights. Going down into that dark, damp basement was nerve racking enough, a venture down there with nothing but dripping candles for illumination was something right out of Poe, and Reid would much rather read the stories than live them.<p>

The basement door creaked eerily as he opened the door. Emily's supportive hand rested against his arm. Whether it was to give support or take it, he didn't know, but at least they were together. He pointed the beam down the narrow staircase, resisting the urge to jump back as he saw the floor far below.

"What is it?" Emily asked, worried.

"Nothing," Reid shook his head. "I almost expected someone like Freddy Krueger to be there, that's all."

"Nah," Emily answered. "This isn't a dream. See."

With that, she pinched his backside, and Reid jumped with a light squeal. "Don't do that!" He grumbled, hearing the giggles behind him.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't resist." She said, reaching up to press a kiss on the back of his neck. That eased his anxiety. Searching behind him, he found her hand and grasped it warmly. With a deep breath, Reid carefully stepped onto the steep steps and slowly ventured down.

"Ugh," Emily cringed, covering her mouth with her hand. "This place is disgusting."

"This place tends to flood in the spring. It hasn't been dry that long this season. Plus with last night's rain, there's probably a fresh layer of water behind the walls. As long as you're not allergic to mold, you'll be alright. It's only a few minutes."

"I'm not," She assured, unable to suppress the memory. That man lying on top of her as she groped through the dark, the scent choking at her. Emily wanted to turn and hurry back up, but she couldn't leave Reid here alone.

At least Reid knew what the generator was. It was positioned against the wall, easily removed, but looked much too heavy for one man to do himself. Releasing her hand, Reid walked over and squatted before it, giving it a once over, as if the problem would be right in their mind's eye.

Meanwhile, Emily spent her time investigating the small space. It seemed more like a bunker than a basement, not even as big as the kitchen itself. There was a shelf of pantry items, things that would last if the weather or circumstances got bad. She wondered if those items were still edible, and went to see. Beef jerky, canned vegetables, dried fruits and nuts. Not that she was interested in trying them, but she suspected they hadn't spoiled in all this time.

"I don't think it's the fan belt or the filter, those look clean." Reid mentioned, checking out the back. He moved back around, it has to be something industrial."

The most useful thing down here was the washer and dryer. Older models, but still in great condition. Even with the lights on, she doubted Reid enjoyed coming down here to do laundry… then again, Emily never enjoyed doing laundry. God bless the Fluff & Fold.

That was it. Besides the generator, the fuse box, and the hot water heater, there was nothing. The primary source of heat was the fire place. This wasn't a basement, this was a dungeon.

Come to think of it, the only place she could think to go in and out was the front doors, not including the windows. That didn't seem very safe.

"Is there no other way out of here?" Emily wondered.

"What's that?" Reid wondered, looking back at her. He was busy fiddling with a few of the wires, trying to see which would work when connected together. No luck yet.

"Another door," She mentioned. "Is there no emergency exit or cellar door or anything? How is a person supposed to get out?"

"Well," Reid said standing up. He wiped a sheen of sweat from his brown. "There is one way… Gideon put it in specially… but it's not your typical exit. It's not really a use for a storm door or… another way into the house."

Curious, and a little perturbed, Emily looked to him. "What is it? Where is it?"

Anxiously, he replied, "I'll show you when the lights come back on, for now, I need your help."

At once, Emily followed him to the generator. Carefully, she squatted down beside him, seeing the bundle of wires he uncovered.

"I'm not sure how to fix these." He said, holding up the distorted bunch of ripped wires. "If I were to make an educated guess, I'd say these are beyond repair."

"They looked chewed on. Rats, maybe?" Emily wondered.

"No," Reid shook his head. It would be much easier to lie to her, just tell her she was right and that he couldn't get the power back on. They'd leave and she'd never be the wiser. He couldn't lie to her again, though. He held up the bits of copper, shower it to her. "See, a rat would have chewed through and moved on when it didn't find food. This looks manually done, as if by a knife."

"Someone did this." Emily moaned. "Someone was in here and messed with the generator."

"This could have taken years to get this bad." Reid assured, setting the wires back down. "One simple cut and the power these wires exerted would have built up and put too much strain on the weak point. It could have been during Gideon's time for all we know. I do know, however, that I can't fix this. This generator needs replaced."

"Okay," Emily said, struggling to get to her feet, still a bit off balanced from her cast. Reid followed her, standing up with barely any effort. "This would be the part of the movie when I wonder why they don't just get out of the house. So, I think we should leave."

She read his mind. He was going to suggest that very thing, but wasn't sure how to say it without troubling her. "We'll take just what we need for now, go into town and get a motel room, decide where to go from there."

Emily agreed. Not wanting to be in this dark, disgusting wet basement another second, she hurried up the stairs with Reid less than a step behind her. Returning to the safety of the kitchen, Reid closed the trap door, locking it at once as if indeed there was some spirit or creature waiting to escape.

He was already making full plans. He could pack their belongings quickly, only bringing what they needed. He'd call Rossi and ask to borrow some cash, too afraid to use their credit cards and create a paper trail. He had enough cash for a motel room, and they'd bring some of the packaged food in the kitchen for dinner. Everything would be fine.

Just as he was about to tell her to wait for him in the car, Reid looked out the window over the sink. His heart deflated at once, knowing their plans to run to safety were immediately squashed.

"What's wrong?" Emily asked. "We need to go, we can't stand around here."

"We can't go," He said sadly. "Not now."

"Why?" She looked out the window, not understanding why the steady streams of rain would prevent them from escaping.

"The rain." He informed. "It must have started while we were in the basement. With the rain from last night, that path is going to be too muddy to get the car out of here… I'm sorry, we're stuck."

"Oh, God," She uttered, trying to keep from panicking.

"It doesn't necessarily mean we're in danger." Reid tried to explain. "All this happening at once, it could all just be coincidence."

Emily scowled, "You don't believe in coincidences."

True, he didn't. He was caught in a lie, yet Reid stood his ground. "We will be okay. I'll call Rossi, tell him to rent a car with four wheel drive and get us out of here. It'll just be a few hours. It'll be alright, Emily, we will get through this."

Strangely enough, she believed him. They had every reason to suspect the worst, but he gave her a great hope. "What should we do now?"

"First thing first, I call Rossi, tell him what we need. You, put on something comfortable and relax. I'd help you take a shower, but without the generator, we'll run out of hot water fast. As soon as I'm off the phone, I'll light a fire… we can cook food over it."

"Just like camping." Emily muttered, a bit stiff.

"I've never been camping, actually." Reid said with a shrug. "Have you?"

She hesitated a moment, remembering the last time she went. It felt like a lifetime ago, a moment in time she was desperate to forget. "Not for a long time, it wasn't very much fun, but… I have much better company this time."

He smiled, pressing her a kiss to her cheek. "I know you're scared." He whispered. "But it will be okay. In a few days, we'll look back on this and it will all feel like a bad dream."

"I know," She whispered back. Pulling away, she met his eyes with a brave smile. "I'll go change."

Just before she walked away, Reid's cell rang. Looking at the idea, he sighed with relief. "Speak of the devil," He said, answering the call. "Reid."

"Hey, Reid, how's everything up there?" Rossi asked on the other end.

Reid went to put the phone on speaker. Emily came closer so as to listen. "Not too good," Reid answered. "Our generator went out, we have no power and we can't leave because my car can't take the dirt road in this rain."

"I see," Rossi said. "Well… if you can until seven, I think I can get up to you. It should still be light then."

"Not that there's much light with this rain." Emily mumbled.

"True. Morgan's got a car with the right drive and tires, I'll bring him up there. He'll want to see you both anyway." He informed. "Listen, I might have some news."

"Good news?" Emily wondered.

"Well…" He hesitated, "good in a sense it shines more light on the case."

Reid questioned, "You found a new lead?"

"A big one." Rossi answered. "We don't exactly have a grasp on Sutter's location, but it might take us in the right direction. Both of you… you'd better brace yourselves for this one."

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry this took so long, guys. I had the worst writer's block over the last week. :)


	24. Living Victim

Reid and Emily glanced at each other anxiously. Neither could possibly believe what was so bad, they needed to prepare themselves. All they could hope was that everyone was alright.

"We're listening." Reid informed, turning back to the phone.

"Emily… did you know Sutter was married?" Rossi asked.

Stunned, Emily replied. "No, I had no idea. Is his wife looking for him?"

"He _was_ married. His wife committed suicide almost twenty years ago after three years of marriage… supposedly." He replied.

"Why do you say supposedly?" Wondered Reid.

"There's no concrete evidence. We made some phone calls to the local police and California field offices, but the evidence was inconclusive. Garcia at least had better luck than we did; she found a few sealed files on the investigation."

Emily asked, winded with fear. "What did she find?"

"No surprise, Collin and Madeline did not have a fairy tale marriage. There are dozens of police reports on domestic disturbances, Madeline had an extensive hospital record from beatings, and close to her death, she took out a restraining order. About a month after that, she was found dead in a stranger's bathtub, wearing lingerie belonging to that woman living in that house."

"Ellis O'Neider was found in a bathtub." Reid cried at once.

"Precisely, and do you remember what Ellis's profession was?" Rossi questioned.

Emily thought for a moment, but it had been days since she saw those files. It was impossible to recall. Reid, however, could always be counted upon.

"She was a maid." Reid repeated. An epiphany struck and he looked to Emily. "You said his mother was the maid for your father."

"Yeah, she worked there for a long time, until my stepmother fired her. I don't know why she did that." Emily explained. "Frankly, I'm not sure it's important."

Rossi told her, "Neither do we, but Madeline Sutter was a maid as well at the same company. They started working there after college. We couldn't find any evidence, but my instincts tell me she worked for a home in the neighborhood."

"Wait," Emily said, "I remember sometimes Collin's mother wouldn't be there, another maid would be. It happened when she had appointments or messages or sick days, other maids would fill in. Do you think it's possible Madeline was filling in for the usual maid that day?"

"There are a lot of files on a murder investigation. It could never be proven that Collin did it, but if he had, I think he waited until an opportunity like that. Just so the owners of the home wouldn't suspect. If the maids weren't allowed to switch shifts like that, none of them would come forward to admit she was working there."

"Okay, so Ellis O'Neider was the only maid." Emily announced. "That's why she was placed in the tub, just like Madeline. What about the other girls, what made their jobs so different."

"They had careers." Rossi explained. "Two lawyers, a nurse a PR representative, and the prostitute. They were settled in their jobs for some time, will Ellis was employed from one job to the next, just like Madeline and his mother."

Some of this wasn't making sense. Reid thought of something, "How did Sutter's mother die?"

"Car accident, she was hit head on by a drunk driver. It was kept out of the papers, Sutter and his mother were somewhat estranged at the time." Rossi explained.

"If the other girls were like you, Emily, he killed them how he wants to…" He could barely finish that thought, it was too hard to comprehend. "…how he wants to kill you. But Ellis reminded him of Madeline and he killed her in that fashion."

"But Ellis looked like me." Emily explained. "He chooses girls who look like me, wouldn't making her like his wife ruin that fantasy?"

"That's the piece of the puzzle you're missing." Rossi spoke up. "Madeline did look like you. JJ said the two of you could be twins."

"So…" Reid said. "He married a girl that reminded him of Emily. But, if Madeline's personality varied from her, it would be difficult to satisfy him. It's probably why he got violent with her."

"And the longer he tried to make her like Emily, the worse it got." Rossi continued. "She might have been rebellious against him, argumentative, refused to indulge his unconventional desires. Eventually, he realized she was defective, so he disposed of her and chose a different tactic."

Leaning on the counter, Emily buried her face in her hands, blocking out the little light that was in their powerless cabin. This was getting sick and twisted. She'd seen cases like this before, but it was a completely different prospective when she was the main target.

Letting out a sigh, she sat up again. "This is well and fascinating, but it still doesn't tell us where Sutter is. Are we any closer to tracking him down?"

"There's been no sign of him yet." Rossi said, disappointed. "But there is more. Sutter has a lot more victims, spanning a course of what looks like decades, from all over the country, I'd suspect. All matched his preference. If we catch this guy, he could get the death penalty ten times over."

Emily wasn't one to worry about semantics. They didn't normally mean anything to her. Right now, though, with her entire existence up in the air, hearing him say 'if' made her shudder. They had to catch him… she couldn't live a life in a fear, always checking over her shoulder. Someday, no matter what, Collin would catch up to her… and then where would she be.

"He's going to have to kill again soon." Reid announced, looking to Emily. "It's an addiction to him, he has to do it. It explains the prostitute. If a drug addict can't have his drug of choice, he'll choose something else. Weaker, but it takes the edge off. That's why he had killed the prostitute."

"You said he kept her captive for a while, though, right?" Emily questioned, turning towards the phone.

"That's right." Rossi answered.

"He could be doing that again. He could have several girls stashed away for a rainy day, just keeps them alive until he's ready for them." Emily noted.

"He didn't come to DC too long ago, but he's been doing this for years… it's possible one of them did break free." Reid mentioned.

Rossi paused for a moment. "Good point, Reid. I'll have Garcia check on that, if any girls were reported missing and then turned up. If he chooses someone no one's going to miss, the police might not have believed her story. If she can tell us where he kept her, we could find places like that in DC. That could lead us to him."

"He might even be there now." Emily said. For the first time since the power went out, she felt hopeful. Sutter might be caught before the end of the day. And then they could go home.

"I'll call back when I know anything." Rossi promised. "Anything I can do for you guys?"

"Actually, we're having a bit of a problem." Reid announced. "The generator's out in the cabin."

Another pause sounded. "You guys better get out of there, then. I don't like the idea of you there without power."

Emily responded, almost desperately. "We would, but we can't drive through on the road, it's too muddy. Any way you can rent a truck and get us out of here?"

"I think Morgan's got something like that. We'll try to get up there before the sun goes down. In the meantime, just hang in there." He replied. "Call if there are any more problems."

"Thanks, Dave, we will." Reid answered. A moment later, the call ended and Reid set down his phone. "Looks like we'll be stuck here for a while."

"I know I shouldn't say it, because as soon as I do, something will happen," Emily answered, shaking her head. "But I really feel like things could not get any worse."

"They can always get worse." Reid assured, putting an arm around her. "At least we're together. And we're mostly healthy. It's just a few hours. We'll build a fire and roast marshmallows. I brought all the ingredients for smores."

She grinned, looking up to him with appreciation and love. "You know me so well."

"Why don't I help you change back into some pajamas so you're more comfortable. Then we'll have a nice day together. I brought cards and we could read some more. I have a wide selection here."

"That sounds great." Emily said, reaching up to kiss his cheek. "But I don't think I need your help getting changed. I managed it last night on my own, I'll be alright."

"Okay, if you're sure." He pressed a kiss to her temple, squeezing her close. "When you return, the place will bright and warm and we'll have smores for breakfast. That's what you're supposed to do on vacation, right?"

She laughed. It wasn't technically a vacation, but trying to joke and turn it into something light was a good idea. Otherwise, the fear would unhinge their minds.

Brushing a hand on his jaw a moment, Emily looked up into his loving eyes. He made her so happy. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if they had to quit. Maybe it was time to start the next chapter of their lives, and the entitled being together. It wouldn't be so bad… as long as she had him.

She headed back through the dark cabin to the bedroom. The lack of light was spooky, as if she were wondering through a haunted house. Once, in college, she had gone with a group of friends on Halloween night to investigate an abandoned boarding house. At the time, she swore she saw an apparition staring at in the doorway, but in the light of day, Emily determined it must have been her imagination. The mind could always play tricks on you… when you're afraid.

Out of habit, she closed the door. They hadn't been together long enough to be so comfortable with each other, they regularly left the door open when they changed. It was hard to see in this room with any light or the sun shining in, but Emily's eyes soon adjusted. Now… where was her bag?

She could have put on her nightshirt from last night, but she wanted something new. Clean and cozy, something she could be comfortable in as they waited to be rescued… helped, not rescued. They weren't in danger here, they were just having problems.

Emily pulled out a nightgown. Long and lacy, void of sleeves. Something perfect for summer. Perhaps she should think of something more conservative, but Reid had never seen her in this. She couldn't help but think of his face when she came out wearing this almost see-through garment. What was going through her head when she grabbed this as she packed, Emily didn't know, but right it didn't matter. Slowly, relying on her good hand to do most of the work, Emily removed her clothes until she stood naked, pulling the garment over her. Changed and ready, she turned to head back to the living room.

Suddenly, however, she stopped as a soft thud. Perhaps her ears were deceiving her, but she thought it came from somewhere in the room. Looking around, she didn't see anything out of place. Nothing that could have made that noise. She thought for a moment something had hit the window. Maybe a fallen branch or a bird trying to navigate its way in the rain storm. Going over, she looked out the glass, but even if something had made that noise, she couldn't see it now.

There was one more place she could check and that was the closet. Emily hadn't looked in there yet. She had no reason to. It was curious what could possibly be in there. Maybe more books or some winter clothes of Reid's when he came up here alone. It shouldn't be anything to worry about, but Emily wouldn't be at ease until she saw for herself.

A fear hatched in her stomach as she stepped slowly towards the closet door, her bare feet padded softly on the wooden floor. Her hand reached out for the door knob. The cold metal met her hand and Emily suddenly realized she was shaking. Taking a deep breath, she sighed and turned the knob, pulling it open… and letting out a shriek.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, in DC, the team was working at full speed with both power and delightful weather. There were reports a storm might be coming in in the late afternoon, but for the now the sun was shining brightly in the beautiful sky. A perfect summer day.<p>

Not that anyone got to enjoy the weather. Most of their time, the team spent in the conference room, searching and deciphering clues. The hotline to report Sutter had been flooded with tips, none of which proved a bit useful. Everyone was running low on steam, that hopeless feeling beginning to settle in.

They weren't defeated yet, though. During lunch, most of the team gathered in the conference room, prepared to discuss what they already knew. Some of their investigation wasn't a waste of time. They had to determine what it was and how to focus on that to track down Sutter.

"Okay," Morgan said as he paced the room. He took a long slurp on his straw, getting to the bottom of his soft drink. "We know Sutter is on the move, he has to be avoiding largely populated areas, especially if he saw the press conference."

"It's been repeated twice already on TV, which is about to be a third." JJ mentioned, checking her watch. It was almost noon. "I've already contacted all motels in the area and close to the borders of both Maryland and Virginia. The staff that would actually cooperate checked into all their current tenants, none of them fit Sutter's description. The ones who wouldn't help were of low standards, rent by the hour type of motels. In my opinion, that's where he'd most likely be staying."

"It would be too much work to subpoena that information." Hotch said. "If we can narrow down a location, we'll look into that. For now let's move on."

"There's been no report on him at any hospitals in DC, or the neighboring states." Morgan revealed. "But that guy lost a lot of blood. If he hasn't passed out, that wound has to be getting tender. He's getting weaker, he can't get going like this. Unless he's passed out somewhere."

"Which is doubtful, since we have state troopers going up and down the all the major roads. No abandoned cars, no people in distress that match our guy." Rossi explained. "All we can hope for is if someone spots him, and right now that seems very unlikely."

Suddenly, Morgan's phone rang. Grabbing it, he his eyes widened in excitement. "Garcia," He announced with relish as he answered. "You're on speaker. Tell me you've got good news."

"And Bingo was his name-o!" She cried with excitement. "Our brilliant genius once again did not fail us!"

"You found a living victim of Sutter's?" Hotch called in question. Everyone in the room seemed frozen. Could they finally have lead? It seemed too good to be true.

"I can't be entirely certain, the girl I've found never gave a name of her captor." She made known. Garcia knew she shouldn't get her hopes up, but she couldn't help but be excited she might finally have gotten an answer. "But, it matches all the criteria I put in for the search. She was a prostitute who ran away from her abusive stepfather when she was fourteen, she was held captive for almost a year, in which time he would beat her and humiliate her, but there was never any rape. She was a pretty smart cookie, she made him believe she was getting weak and listless due to lack of food, in which case he released her restraints. When his back was turned, she grabbed a pipe he'd be using to smack her with and knocked him in the head. She broke out, found a police officer driving down the road, and was taken to the precinct. When the searched the premises however a few hours later, his captor wasn't there. There were no signs a woman had been held there. They thought she made up the whole story to explain where she was all that time."

"He woke up and didn't waste time." Rossi mentioned. "He cleaned up his mess and got out of town. He wasn't about to waste his time looking for that girl or even looking for another victim."

"Where's she from, Pen?" JJ questioned.

"Miss Farrah Linstrom resides in the city of Brotherly Love." She revealed. "Her stepfather was, and still is, serving a jail sentence. Farrah lived in foster care until she was eighteen, she's twenty now, currently attending the Community College of Philadelphia. She lives with a couple of roommates, I have her address here."

"Philly's only two hours by car, we could drive there to speak with her." JJ said, looking up hopefully.

"You and I will go," Hotch informed, "We'll call as soon as we know something. She could give us an idea where he's hiding now. Morgan and Rossi, keep working here just in case we need to look into something while we're on our way back."

As Rossi nodded, his phone buzzed. Casually, he removed it from his pocket, seeing he got a text message from Reid. Without a sound, he quickly opened it to read, hiding his fear.

He could have called them back in, but it would just have delayed their trip to DC. He'd tell them when he called later. For now, he could have Garcia try to trace it.

"What's going on?" Morgan asked, seeing the worried expression Rossi was trying to hide.

Without a word, he slowly lifted his phone, handing it to the younger man. His face turned ashen, anger burning in his eyes as he read the message from a blocked number.

_I know where she is. You'll never save her in time._


	25. The Snake

"This place is practically silent." Reid informed a few minutes later when Rossi called back to check on them. "All the doors are locked, I'd hear if someone were breaking in. Not to mention, the road is a swamp with all this rain. Even if he has the vehicle to get up here, something like that would be too massive not to see."

"Yeah, but if he does get up there, there's no way for you to get out." Morgan yelled at the phone, as if this were Reid's fault. He knew it wasn't and he didn't blame him in the least. He was just an easy target for his frustration.

"No, there's a way." Reid explained. "I won't say it here, but I know another way we can escape. It won't get us far, but if we do it the right way, there's no way he can follow."

"Where are you, The Temple of Doom?" Morgan demanded, still in the dark to their location.

"You'll see soon enough," Rossi informed. "As soon as JJ and Hotch call with news, we'll head up there. If at any time you think you can drive out of there, don't hesitate."

"We won't," Reid answered. "Thanks for keeping us informed."

There was a slight hesitation on the other end before Rossi questioned, "Are you going to tell Emily about this?"

Reid had known the answer to that as soon as Rossi told him about the text message. "No, she's worried enough. Let me know if you get a trace on the call. Keep in touch."

"Stay alive, kid." Morgan advised. Reid didn't find that too amusing, but considering the circumstances, it was at least appropriate. Their call ended and Reid looked back through the cabin. Emily was taking an awfully long time back there. Quickly, he headed back towards the bedroom, suspecting something was wrong.

* * *

><p>"Christ," Emily sighed as she leaned against the frame of the closet door. Her heart was beating so hard. If she had any more of these horrific surprises, it might just give out.<p>

Inside the closet was nothing alarming. Just as she suspected, books were stacked on the floor, and winter clothing hung along the bar. A few sweaters were folded on the top shelf, along with some snow boots. Nothing to be frightened off. All of this was taking up too much space in here for anyone to hide.

What had startled her, however, was the sudden buzzing of her phone on the night stand. It was the last thing she had suspected, seeing as how they spoke to Rossi already. Standing up, she took another deep breath and walked over to fetch it, seeing she had a text… from… a blocked number?

Much too puzzled to turn away, Emily opened the message. If she had thought this had been the last fear to cross her, she was sorely mistaken. Reading over the text, her stomach was flooded as if she'd just swallowed a whole glass of water as cold as the artic ocean.

_Every breath you take, every move you make, every bond you break, every step you take… I am watching you._

Interesting how he suddenly changed the lyrics. But no… he couldn't actually be watching her. He was just trying to mess with her. Make her afraid so she'd run, possibly even come home, and then fall right into his trap. Collin was not here… it wasn't possible.

"Emily?" Reid questioned, making her jump again.

Quickly she closed the message. With a trembling hand, set her phone back on the table. Almost giving herself whiplash, she turned and tried to hide the fear on her face.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

Immediately, she thought of a lie. "I saw a snake."

Reid was startled by that. Snakes didn't bother him, but even seeing one in the house was uncommon. "A snake? Really?"

"Yeah, I uh…" She inched away from the bed. "I saw it slither out from under the closet and under the bed. I hate those little things… the way they move, it's just unnatural."

She gave a real shudder at the thought and Reid was convinced. "I… never knew you were afraid of snakes."

"Oh yeah," She nodded, sighing with a laugh. "They terrify me. When I first saw Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, I had nightmares for a week."

He smiled with sympathy. Emily wasn't entirely lying. She did have a fear of snakes, something she'd never told anyone. Natural human emotions made her feel so weak, she usually kept the more complicated ones like fear and sadness close to her so no one could use it against her.

"What did it look like?" Reid asked.

"It was a… tiny green thing." She explained. "I can't believe something so small made me shriek like a little girl."

"That's just a garden snake, you're not in any danger." He assured. "Are you coming in, I have the fire going."

"Yes," Emily nodded, "I just… need to use the bathroom, I'll be out in a minute."

"Okay, I'll be waiting," He smiled, heading back towards the door. "And by the way," he said as he turned around, a new smile spreading on his face. The boy was obviously getting hungry, and it wasn't something marshmallow's and graham crackers would cure. "You look magnificent in that."

He left the room as she bit her lip enticingly, thinking for just a moment it might be a good idea to grab protection so they wouldn't have to come back in here. Just before she stepped away to use the bathroom, her phone buzzed again.

She told herself she shouldn't look at that message. It would just upset her. Emily was terrible at listening to her own advice, though, and quickly looked.

_Why can't you see? You belong to me… now my poor heart aches… with every step you take…_

Emily rolled her eyes. He was so pathetic, he couldn't even come up with something original. Or so she thought… until another message rolled in right after that one.

_He's right… you do look magnificent. I always thought white was your color._

She shuddered and gasped as she dropped her phone. It crashed to the floor, bouncing off the wood a few times before it lay flat. Her hands covered her mouth as tears filled her eyes. No, it couldn't be true… he couldn't be here.

"Emily?" Reid called again, running back to the bedroom in worry, having heard the crash. He saw her there, shaking like a leaf as she started to cry. This couldn't be about some little harmless snake.

And it wasn't. It was about a very big one. "What's wrong?" He asked, hurrying over to put his arm around her.

She fell into his embrace, burying her face in his chest. "He's here." She sobbed. "He's watching me."

At that, she couldn't form any real words, letting her dread and terror claim her. Emily continued to shake and sob as Reid held her in the safety of his embrace. He looked around the room, as if expecting Sutter to jump out at that moment… but there was no one.

* * *

><p>Hotch made a fist and knocked three times smartly on the pale green door. They waited, the warm June breeze whooshing past him and JJ as they stood on the porch of the second floor apartments. The parking lot was almost empty, most of the tenants were off at work and school currently. There had been no answer when JJ called on their way to Philadelphia, but they decided to try anyway, hoping Farrah Linstrom might be home.<p>

The door was answered by a girl about twenty, with long blonde hair and vibrant green eyes. Immediately, they knew this was not who they were looking for.

"Can I help you?" The one girl asked.

Hotch held up his badge; JJ followed suit. "I'm SSA Aaron Hotchner, this is Agent Jennifer Jareau, we're looking for Farrah Linstrom. It's important we speak to her."

She hesitated. "Is she in trouble?"

"No," JJ answered. "This is regarding an incident she was involved in a few years ago."

"Well," She looked behind her. JJ strained to see what she was looking at and spotting a closed door on the other side of the living room. "I'm not sure she'll be willing to talk. She's been… kind of upset all day."

"What about?" JJ questioned.

"How is that any of your business?" The girl asked, turning around and folding her arms.

"Just tell her we're here, please." Hotch stated more like a command than a request. The girl eyed him cautiously for a moment. Had JJ been the one to request that, no doubt the girl would have refused, but anyone could see Aaron Hotchner was not a man to be defied.

"Hang on," She whined bitterly, going back inside the apartment. She left the front door opened, and the two agents waited impatiently, wanting desperately to go over the threshold.

"Farrah?" The girl called, knocking on the door.

"Go away, Millie, I just want to be alone!" A muffle call came from inside.

She let out an annoyed sigh, as if to say she had better things to do than stand here and deal with her sullen roommate. "Farrah… there are two people here… they're from the FBI and they want to talk to you."

No response came, but less than five seconds went by before the door whipped open. Inside stood a young girl that made JJ's stomach churn and Hotch's chest tighten… she could be Emily's daughter, the two were so alike.

Farrah Linstrom looked at them in shock for a moment before she said. "You're here about Collin Sutter, aren't you?"

While her roommate was confused, JJ answered, thankful they didn't have to explain their visit. "Yes…" She crossed the threshold as she answered her. "You saw the news report this morning, I assume."

Farrah nodded. JJ and Hotch could practically hear her heart pounding in her chest. "I never knew his name until today… but I would know that face anywhere. I see it every night before I go to sleep."

Subtly, JJ and Hotch glanced at each other. "Miss Linstrom, we need your help." Hotch informed.

"What's going on?" The blonde girl who was apparently named Millie looked between her roommate and the agents in confusion. She had no idea what was going on. No surprise, Farrah hadn't told her what happened to her. It wasn't something a person would be proud to admit, let alone want to talk about.

"We'd like to speak to Farrah privately, ma'am." JJ requested. "It's a sensitive matter."

"No, I'm not leaving her alone with the feds." She remarked, glaring at the liaison with a piercing stare.

"Please, Millie!" Farrah cried. The poor young woman seemed on edge already, prepared to lose her composure at any second. Her roommate looked at her in surprise. "It's okay, just… go to class, I'll be fine."

She seemed reluctant, but Millie agreed. "Fine… but if you need a lawyer, just call my dad. He'll represent you."

Millie shot one more distrustful glance at the agents before grabbing her things and leaving the apartment. The door closed behind her, leaving the three alone.

"Let's go somewhere we can sit." JJ insisted.

"I'll make coffee." Farrah said, heading towards a swinging door leading to the kitchen. JJ and Hotch pursued her inside.

* * *

><p>Reid didn't know what to do. He felt like he was a rookie on his first case all over again, standing dumbly, his brain fumbling to remember the right procedure. He didn't like being so unsure of what was going to happen.<p>

"How do you know he's here?" Reid asked. It was the only thing he could think of.

Trembling more than she'd ever had in her life, Emily slipped out of Reid's arms and practically fell onto the edge of the bed. She reached down and handed him her phone, for a brief second thankful for the structural integrity. "He sent me a text."

Immediately, Reid saw the recent messages. The first two didn't mean much, but the second one made him want to be sick. No others had come through, but that didn't matter, this one said anything. Unless Sutter had the place bugged, there was no other way he could know what they just said, or that Emily was wearing white. He wouldn't let himself panic, though. It wasn't in his repertoire to lose his head at a time like this, it never had been. A trait he had always been grateful came so naturally to him.

But he didn't know what to do. Sutter could be anywhere… except one place. She would be safe there. He had intended to go down there with her… but if he had the opportunity to stop this man, he was going to take it. No matter what happened to him, at least she would be alright.

As he set the phone aside, Reid reached down and took Emily's clammy, trembling hand. Without a word, he pulled her to her bare feet and hurried her out of the bedroom, down the small hall and back into the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" She asked, her breathing stammered and heavy.

"There's a room down here," He said, squatting down to open the trap door down to the basement once again. "It's hidden down there, you probably won't be able to find it until I get there, but we can stay there until we can escape."

"What are you talking about?" Emily asked. He stood up and grabbed one of their flashlights, thrusting it into her hand before pulling her over to the steps, forcing her to climb down.

"If Sutter is here, you have to be someplace safe." He informed, guiding her down the steep case. When her body was completely in the hole, she turned back to look at him. "You are to wait down there for me. Lock the door from the inside and don't let anyone in but me. You know it'll be me when I knock."

"Yeah," Emily nodded, remembering his usual Shave and a Haircut knock. "I know… what are you going to do?"

There was a long pause while Reid just stared at her. Not like he was expecting her to figure it out herself… but simply just looking her over. As if afraid he was never going to see her again and wanted to take in her beauty one last time.

Simply, he said. "I love you."

With that, he lowered the door and closed her into darkness, despite her pleas to stop, to tell her what he was planning to do.

Emily tried forcing up the door again, but she couldn't do it with one hand. There was no use, she was just going to have to wait for Reid to come back. Obeying his orders, she turned on the flashlight in order to see and locked the basement door. Safe and secure inside, she took a moment to catch her breath, difficult with the mold scented air.

As soon as he heard the click, Reid hurried back into the bedroom. Gideon had several guns for protection here, meaning Reid wouldn't need to run out to the car to get his. There were five alone in the bedroom, and Reid immediately went to the closet, grabbing the one stashed on the top shelf.

A quick check told him there was a full cartridge inside. Emily would probably feel better if she was armed, too, and hurried to another hiding place. His side of the bed under the mattress. Setting his weapon down, he squatted again in order to reach underneath.

Nothing… his hand reached and searched, but no metal came in contact with the warmth of his hands. He didn't have time for this. Sutter could sneak up on him at any moment. Anxiously, Reid stood and whipped the mattress over, knocking the blankets and pillows to the floor, revealing the springs strapped along the frame of the bed… and nothing more.

Reid knew that gun had been here when they went to bed. He could feel it through the mattress… and now it was gone.

Someone had took it, and just as he came to that conclusion, his heart stopped. A woman's blood curling scream was heard, muffled from somewhere below him. Grabbing his weapon, Reid rushed back through the cabin to the kitchen to the trap door, desperately trying to yank it open.

* * *

><p>AN: Maybe I'm going a little overboard with the cliffhangers. Although, I don't see that trend coming to an end anytime soon.


	26. Another Way In

The darkness surrounded her. For the next few seconds, Emily was just frozen, taking everything in. The black, the damp cold, the heavy stench of mold, so strong it put her in a cold sweat. She leaned against the railing, trying to stay calm. Reid had better hurry up, unsure why he didn't just come down here in the first place. Emily was usually such a strong woman, she'd come face to face with killers more dangerous than Collin, but this last week had put her through the ringer. Her nerves were on edge and felt on the precipice of a nervous breakdown.

Her only friend right now was the beam of her flashlight… and judging by the dimness of it, the batteries were fading. She'd tell Reid to bring an extra supply before he came down, just so they wouldn't run out of power so quickly. Who knew how long they would be down here?

As terrifying as this was, she knew it would be over soon. All she had to do was be patient. Collin wouldn't just give up his position. Once Reid secured the area, he would be down to join her, probably bringing down water and a change of clothes, and then they could escape, through whatever hidden place there was down here. Good thing, too. Emily couldn't imagine getting out of here in a thin white nightgown and bare feet. It sounded too much like a cookie cutter horror film, the kind that have been done so many times, anyone could predict the storyline and climax within the first few minutes. Emily wasn't a fan of scary movies for that particular reason…

…for a moment, she thought back to Halloween, almost two years ago. It had been the last time Reid celebrated the holiday, seeing as how he still had amnesia during this previous one. She, Reid, Morgan and Garcia decided to see The Haunting in Connecticut, playing for one night only. Emily had been reluctant, but Reid insisted she come along. It wasn't a gory, slasher orientated flick; it focused more on the supernatural and the ability of tormenting a person's mind. Not only had he been right, but he also let her hold his hand during the scariest parts; so tight, her fingernails dug into his skin, almost drawing blood. He never told anyone about that, either. From the littlest gesture to the threat on her very life… he was always protecting her.

A minute passed that felt like an hour. Her breathing was getting heavy… too heavy. Something wasn't right. It could just be her mind playing tricks on her, making her start to shake, her body felt frozen with fear. Every time she took a breath… she swore that smell was getting stronger.

It only took a split second for the truth to come. Whipping around she flashed her dim beam behind her, taking in the figure standing at eye level with her, giving her the most sickening of smiles. He was delighted. Emily had fallen right into his trap.

At once, Emily turned to the trap door, her only thought was undoing that lock and forcing her way out, but Sutter was too fast. He'd come up behind her and grabbed her around the middle, pulling a scream out of her. Bone chillingly sharp.

"No!" She cried, dropping her flashlight to free her only usable hand. It bounced down the steps, smashing onto the dirt floor where the light faded and went out. They were in total darkness.

"Let me go!" Emily screeched, trying to claw at him. With only one hand, it was difficult, but she wasn't making it easy for him to drag her down the steps. She could feel her nails break into his exposed skin, desperate to be freed.

"Stop fighting me, Emily." He said softly, as if he meant her no harm. Though he spoke gently, his grip on her became stronger, holding her flailing body against him.

She wouldn't give in, though she knew she couldn't get out of this herself. "Spencer!" She desperately screamed, kicking and scratching at anything her limbs could make contact with. Her cast started knocking at him, sending shocking waves of pain through her broken wrist. "Spencer… help me! Spencer, please!"

"Emily!" A muffled cry came from above in a matter of seconds, mixing in with her screams. He'd heard her, or at least heard something, and she suddenly gasped with relief… a relief that only lasted a moment. The trap door rattled and rocked as someone tried to pull it open, but it couldn't be budged with the latch in place. Oh no… he was locked out.

"No!" Emily moaned and sobbed, fighting even harder to break free. If Reid couldn't get to her, she had no hope. Before, she'd never think of relying on Reid to save her. Now she knew he was solely imperative to her survival.

With her strength beginning to fade, Sutter was starting to bring her down one step at a time, difficult in the dark. "I've waited so long for this." He uttered over her cries and sobs. "You're all I've ever wanted, Emily, don't you know that?"

Emily barely heard his words, but they weren't important to her. "Let… me… go!" She mustered whatever strength remained in her aching body to break free. "You… can't… do this!"

They reached the bottom step and Sutter clutched her a moment before flinging her to the ground. Emily groaned in pain as she landed into the dirt, smearing over her chilled, sweaty skin. "I can do whatever I want to you! You belong to me!"

Above, Reid pulled and tugged at the trap door, fraught on breaking in. It was no use, not with the limited strength he had. From what he could hear, he could determine what was going on down there. Sutter was dragging her down the steps, further away from him. Judging by the strangled moan, he knew Emily was hurt, no doubt the first strike of many. This was useless, he had to get down there, but how?

There was only one way and Reid had no time to waist. He grabbed his flashlight and gun before getting up and hurrying out the front door, not even bothering to shut it behind him.

First, he stopped on the front porch. Getting in this way would be a lot harder than getting out. He wouldn't be able to force it by himself, so he'd need help. At the end of the porch was a pile of firewood, remaining from the last bunch that Gideon had chopped. Beside it stood the axe, a bit rusted over, but still in pretty good condition. It would do just fine. It had to, it was Emily's only chance. Hooking his gun in his belt, Reid ran, grabbing the handle of the woodful weapon and hurried off the porch into the rain, dashing to the back of the cabin.

* * *

><p>"According to your record, you ran away when you were fourteen." JJ questioned. She and Hotch sat at a rickety wooden table as Farrah Linstrom worked on making coffee. They didn't actually ask to be served anything, but from years of observation, the process of making some hot beverage was like a coping technique to people. Having something they could control made them calm.<p>

"Yes," She answered. "My mother left me with my stepfather when I was seven, she never came back. That's when he started raping me. It took me seven years to work up the courage to run away, and when I did, I didn't get too far. I got mixed up with some drug dealers who turned me into a prostitute to help finance their business. I was owned by them for over a year and I was starting to get sick with some kind of pneumonia, even though I didn't know it at the time." Both mugs clutched in her hands, she turned and walked to the table, setting a cup before each of them. "That's when I met Collin Sutter."

"He didn't tell you his name, though?" Hotch asked.

Farrah shook her head. "Never, which is one reason why the police think I made it up. He picked me up one night, said he'd pay for a whole night and I only had to stay for a few hours. He asked my rate, he counted out the money before I even got into the car, I never had any reason to doubt him… though I probably would have gotten in before I saw the money… it was my job. It was stupid, I know… I should have run from this, gotten help, but I was so scared they were going to put me back with my stepfather. Really, which one was better? At least with these people, I got enough food and as long as I obeyed and gave them all my money, they didn't hit me."

"Miss Linstrom, we are not judging you." JJ said sympathetically. "We understand you were in a difficult situation, something that's not easy to get out of. We need to know everything you can tell us about Collin Sutter. What happened on your first night, after you got into the car?"

"I asked if he had a name, and he said he wanted to keep some mystery between us. It was an odd way to phrase it, but it wasn't the first customer I had who wouldn't tell me his name, but it immediately gave me a bad feeling."

"Why is that?" Wondered Hotch.

She looked over and met Hotch's eyes, giving a bit of a blush. "Uh… I don't want to offend you, sir, but… it's usually what guys want. It was awful and painful being with those men, but most johns wanted me to pretend I liked it… they'd want me to call out their name."

Hotch nodded, not taking offense. "So the fact that he didn't want you to know his name indicated he wasn't primarily interested in sex?"

"Or he was so filled with shame, like this was an addiction and in his real life he could pretend it never happened." Sadly, she hung her head. "He fooled me. He was fidgety and awkward and didn't say much… I just figured he wasn't very good with women, so he needed a little help."

"Did he ask for your name?" JJ inquired.

"No." She answered, looking up. "He knew the routine, which told me he'd done this pretty often. Most guys who are inexperience would ask for my name. I was always supposed to ask what they wanted mine to be, and even they didn't have a preference, I always made up one. He didn't ask, he just right out gave me one."

A silence followed that as JJ and Hotch met each other's eyes across the table. Taking a deep breath, Hotch voiced his suspicion. "Did he name you Emily?"

Instantly, the saddened, shameful expression of the young girl changed to shock. "Oh my God, how did you know that?"

It was then that Hotch noticed something. She was incredibly startled by his question… almost too startled. Like she'd been expecting it.

"It's not important." JJ waved off her question. "What happened next? Where did he take you?"

"Far," She answered. "Way out of the city. I caught sight of a street sign and saw it said some town in New Jersey. I kept asking why we were going so far, but he wouldn't tell me. On the outskirts, there was an abandoned building and he parked behind it. My only concern was how I was going to get back. No john feels any obligation to help me get home after their services have been met. I forgot about that, though, when he told me pretty forcefully to get out of the car. When he got around to my side, he grabbed my hair and dragged me inside… and he told me he was going to kill me."

JJ opened her mouth to ask another question, but paused as she glanced over at Hotch. He was quiet, and his expression very stern. She'd seen that look before. It was the gaze of a predator, sniffing out a trail that lead him to the kill… he was on to something. What it is, though, she couldn't guess. Turning back, she continued.

"Did he intend to kill you that night or was he speaking in terms of an undetermined time?" She wondered.

"I don't know, and I don't think I ever will." She shook her head. It was getting harder for her to continue, but Farrah didn't complain. "I thought he was going to… well, I guess rape is the wrong word, but for lack of a better one, rape me and then finish me off… just like my stepfather always threatened to do with me. But he didn't… he took me down to a basement, threw me onto an old bed and tied my hands and legs to the posts. For the next year, that room was where I spent the majority of my time. In the mornings he'd untie me and feed me some kind of scraps, let me use the bathroom… he'd rant and yell at me, taking his anger out on me by hitting me, spitting on me, smacking me with a pipe. He was always complaining about why I walked away from him… why I wouldn't love him… I guess he meant Emily. He gave me more scraps in the evening, let me use the rest room one more time and then tied me up before bed. That was my routine for a long time… I had no idea how much time had passed, but I started to form a plan to escape. I was not going to die there."

"You started to act like you were getting weaker." Hotch questioned, his tone solemn.

"Yes, and after some time, he started leaving the restraints off. When he came in one morning, I pretended to be asleep, watching him through almost closed eyes. When his back was turned, I carefully got up, grabbed the pipe and knocked him out with it… and then that's when I ran… out of the building as fast as I could, down the highway. A car pulled over and saw the blood and bruises and offered to take me to the hospital." She took a deep breath, as if reliving her liberation from her captor once again. "I told the police what happened. They found the building but nothing else… it didn't look like anyone had been there, so… they thought I made it up. I was taken to family court and, since my stepfather was in jail and I had no relatives, I went into foster care… and I turned my life around. I never wanted to be in that dark place again."

JJ gave a smile. "Good for you. Now… are you sure that's the last time you had any contact with your captor?"

"Until that news report this morning, I never saw him again." She shrugged. "I assumed he gave up on me." Biting her lip in worry, she glanced between the two agents, unsure. "I didn't tell you anything useful, did I?"

"Actually, you told us everything we need to know." Hotch said, getting to his feet.

Taken aback, JJ watched him curiously, wondering if they'd been even listening to the same conversation. They learned nothing more from this girl than if Garcia had done the investigating back home. "We may need you to come in and identify Sutter when we catch him, and you may need to testify when it goes to trail."

She wasn't the least bit bothered by that. "I understand. I wish there was more I could tell you."

"We'd better be going," Hotch said, looking at JJ. He might be confident, but she was stunned. They had learned nothing, they couldn't just walk out. She was teeming with dozens of questions that might tell them more about their unsub's personality, what he might be planning next and where he's hiding out. Why was Hotch giving up now? This was not like him.

Reluctantly, JJ stood, abandoning her undrunk coffee as he had. She started following her unit chief to the door. Farrah was right behind them, walking them out. Out from the kitchen and through the living room, they headed to the door. Hotch pulled it open and was just about to step out when he stopped, looking back.

"Oh, I do have one more question." He said, speaking much too carefully. "What was the name of the city in New Jersey? That you were close to?"

"Uh…" Farrah paused, caught off guard. "I, uh… I'm sorry, I don't remember."

That told him everything.

Suddenly, JJ jumped back as she saw a side of Aaron Hotchner that so rarely saw the light of day. He stepped back in, slamming the door shut. "If you had recognized it was a city in New Jersey, you would know what the city was. You would remember everything significant that you saw while you were being kidnapped."

Farrah backed away in fear. "I didn't know I was being kidnapped."

"That doesn't matter, you'd remember it while you were in captivity. It would have gone through your head every day you were stuck in that basement." He pointed out. "How do you explain getting over pneumonia while enduring beatings and little nourishment?"

JJ was amazed, even she wouldn't have thought to ask that. Farrah stammered over her words. "I'm not making this up. I was kidnapped, I was held captive."

"Yes, you were, but you didn't escape." Hotch revealed. "He let you go."

Farrah backed away from the agents, terrified. It was obvious they had figured it out. JJ suspected she was thinking about running back into her room to hide. She was caught and knew there would be repercussions for her actions.

"No," She said with a stammering breath, shaking her head. "I escaped. It happened just like I said."

Hotch was tired of this. They'd been getting the run around for days and finally they found someone who was closest to their unsub. She was their only hope for tracking him; he was not in the mood for her games.

"Miss Linstrom," He said, stepping forward. "I realize you've been through an ordeal. I am very sorry for that. I also realize that whatever deal Sutter made with you, you agreed to to save your life. It's human nature, but Sutter is a very bad man. You protecting him is going to do nothing but hurt you. If you help us, we can track him down and put him behind bars. He has to pay for the deaths of all the women he murdered, just like he did to you. And we need to find him now before he takes another woman's life."

There was a long pause as she hung her head. "You mean Emily Prentiss?"

"How do you know it's her?" JJ requested.

"I've known for a very long time." She said, looking up. "There were times my captor would have a sense of lucidity… usually at night, when he tied me back up. I started questioning him about Emily. Eventually, he did open up about her… and I showed him sympathy, I thought maybe if he learned to trust me… he might just let me go." She stuttered a bit as she tried to breathe, tears shining in her eyes. "It worked, but it came at a price. I was so angry at her for breaking his heart, because if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be at his mercy. So when he started talking about going after the real thing… I offered to help… so he decided that if I did help him get what he wanted, he'd set me free when it was over."

"So he let you get away, relaying an escape story to the police to explain your whereabouts?" JJ questioned.

"Yes." She nodded. "I even helped him clean up the basement so no one would find any evidence."

"You're still referring to him as your captor." Hotch pointed out.

"What I said to you earlier was true. I never did learn his name until this morning." She explained. "He would never share it with me… he just had me call him sir."

JJ asked. "He kept an eye on you while you were in foster care?"

"Yes," She answered. "It wasn't until about a year ago after I'd gotten into school he said he tracked her down and it was time to repay my debt. I agreed… I couldn't go back to that basement again. I knew, no matter what happened, he would always find me."

Hotch relayed to her. "We really need to know where Sutter is now. Do you have any idea where he's hiding?"

"He's not hiding," She explained. "He's looking for her. He's come this far, he's not going to lay low just because the cops are out there… and, if Emily Prentiss and her friend went a good distance away… the cops probably aren't looking for him there. He'd be a lot safer."

"How could he possibly know where they are, though?" JJ wondered. "We don't even know where they are."

"One of you knows." She explained. "That older man who's always been so close to Emily… my captor suspects he knows. He started relying on him to show him the way… and I haven't had any contact with my captor since Sunday afternoon."

"David Rossi," Hotch stated, looking to JJ. "He went to see them Sunday afternoon, but he would know if he were being followed."

"How did he even know Agent Rossi was the right man, out of the whole BAU team?" She questioned, turning to Farrah once again.

She hesitated a moment, exclaiming the truth like water bursting out of a damn. "I know I shouldn't have done it! It was wrong, I'm so sorry!"

"What is it?" Hotch demanded. "How does he know?"

"I was in DC last week. I thought Emily was going to be killed on Monday and I he wanted me there in case he needed help, but then our plans were changed. When he was shot, he told me to sneak into the hospital and get some supplies to help the wound… Emily was there at the same time. I stole some extra scrubs and pretended to be a nurse, helping her doctor. I even talked to her for a minute. She didn't suspect a thing, even told me how her boyfriend saved her. I saw them both leave with that other agent. When I told Collin Sutter about it, he ordered me back to Philadelphia."

That did it. If Sutter didn't know where Reid and Emily were hiding that night, it wouldn't have been long before he figured it out. Maybe Rossi noticed something, something that wouldn't even mean anything at the time. They'd have to talk to him. "Miss Linstrom, we can put you into protective custody, but you have to help us find him. We need to know everything you can tells us about him… and everything you've done with him since you've been in his custody."

Her eyes closed as she thought about the repercussions of this. "If you don't catch him, if he gets away… he will kill me. Slowly and painfully."

"That's not going to happen. You just have to trust us." JJ assured.

She didn't want to, but it was either help them or help her captor, the man who made her already horrible life a living hell. At least this way might be a way out. "Al…alright… I'll help you."

JJ and Hotch lead the young girl out to the car, preparing to take her back to Quantico with them. Once she was save in the backseat, Hotch closed the door and grabbed JJ's arm, pulling her to look at him.

"Boyfriend?" He inquired.

Startled, "I don't know anything about that sir… perhaps Farrah's mistaken."

Something told him that wasn't the case, but let the subject for now. The two got into opposite sides of the car, ready to make the drive back. They had discovered more in Philadelphia than they had planned, but it didn't ease their fears or trepidation. Sutter was a lot more ahead of them than they could imagine. He couldn't possible have gotten to Emily and Reid, though. Not yet… they would know.

* * *

><p>The rain splattered around him, soaking in his hair and running down his face. Reid's clothes were soaked through, weighing him down as he tried to find the right spot. Where was it? Gideon had said it was here, but he'd never showed it to him. Gideon was a man who always had an escape, always knew the way out, and Reid was thankful for that. Because there had to be a way out of this one… after everything, it couldn't end like this. It wasn't fair.<p>

His heart throbbed painfully in his chest, praying he wasn't too late. He had to get to Emily in time, he promised he'd keep her save. Carefully, with as delicate a touch he could muster at a time like this, his sneaker padded through the mud. Squishing and squelching through it, the leaves and twigs of the forest compressed into the ground. It had to be here. He followed Gideon's instructions exactly. Where is it? Where is it!

There! Reid's foot padded onto the ground, feeling a much different sensation. It wasn't soaked mud, it was wood, covered by dirt on the forest floor. This had to be the spot. He wasted no time trying to pry it open, knowing it would be barred inside. Tossing the flashlight into the mud, Reid gripped the axe tightly in his hand and raised it over his head.

An exact aim was not necessary at a time like this. The axe swung down with as much force as he could muster, slamming right into the wooden trap door. It splintered the wood slightly, but didn't make much progress. It was a start. He tried to pull it out, but it was lodged a bit, taking more than a few seconds to get it loose. At last, it swung out, making Reid stumble slightly, but he quickly recovered. Raising it again, he swung back down, missing his mark in the door by almost a foot. This was going to take a while.


	27. Click

A/N: I'm sorry this took so long. I've been dealing with a lot of stuff lately. When I get worried like that, I tend to come down with writer's block. But, I'm very pleased with this chapter and I hope you guys like it, and there's still more to come.

* * *

><p>All Emily could do was lie there. Her temple rested against the floor, her nose breathing in the smell of dirt and mildew. She wanted to get away. Roll, crawl, slither, anything to get out of his reach. But where would she go? Even if she had a way out, there was no way her beaten body could escape.<p>

After a few minutes, she managed to open her eyes. A searing pain went through her head as she found the room bathed in light. Collin had lit some kind of lamp… or large candle… or something, she was too distorted to comprehend what the source was.

"There, now," Collin whispered as a grubby, calloused hand stroked along her cheek. "I'm sorry I had to do that. The last thing I've ever wanted to do was hurt you."

Even with her throbbing head, her aching body, she managed to form a coherent thought. "Yeah, right."

"Emily," He said softly, his disgusting fingers going through her hair. How dare he… only Spencer got to touch her like that. "I can't believe you would think like that. I hate putting you through all this. Believe me, it hurts me a lot more than it hurts you."

"Then why are you doing it?" She grumbled, trying to get her body up. It wasn't working.

"It's necessary," He said, almost in a whisper. At that, he leaned down closer to her. His chapped lips nuzzled against her face, making her cringe. The smell off his breath made her want to vomit. "You don't see how much I love you… you can't understand that we're meant to be together… nothing is going to stand in our way this time. You'll see it, too, soon enough."

He spoke as if he meant forever. Emily suspected he really believed it, but she knew it wasn't true. No matter how hard she fought off this man off, she could only hold out so long. He'd finally get what he wanted from her, what he'd been preparing for all along, and in the moment of clarity that followed, he'd know there was no reason to keep Emily alive. She'd never see the sun rise again.

Unless she got away, but how? Spencer was locked upstairs. She couldn't even hear him trying to break in anymore. Well, wherever he was, she knew he had to be trying to get to her. He promised he'd do anything to save her… she just hope he wouldn't be too late.

She couldn't help the moan of disgust as Collin kissed her cheek. "You wait here," He said as he stood up, "while I take care of Lover Boy."

"No!" Emily cried. That was the strength she needed to sit up. "Don't hurt him… please…"

"What is it with you!" He demanded, looking back at her before he started up the stairs. "I watched you make one horrible decision after the next. You've wasted your life, whored your body out to satisfy a job, and what do you have to show for it? Now you'd rather be with him! You don't love him, Emily!"

"Yes… I do…" She said, struggling to stand. She had to lean on the wooden support beam beside her just to remain upright. "I know I love him… more than anything."

Furious, Sutter reached the small distance between them and smacked her cheek with the gun in his hand. She cried in pain, falling to the floor.

As she moaned in agony, her hand clumped a handful of dirt. Her cheek was throbbing now, but she barely had a second to feel it before Sutter came over to her, grabbing a handful of her hair and pulling her back, causing her to moan out loud.

"You love me," He slobbered in her ear. Her eyes stung with tears as her good hand clawed at his grip, begging him to let her go. "You've always loved me! Say it!"

"No!" She cried. Never in her life had she felt so helpless. "Let me go!"

"Tell me you love me!" He screamed, so loud it rang over the walls of the cellar, amplified in their ears.

She wouldn't say it, even when he pointed the gun right against her temple. Emily wanted to fight him, but she couldn't even think straight. He was going to kill her now, before he took anything he wanted. So this was how it all ended. Emily Prentiss, all alone, her life taken at the hand of an unsub. Just as she had for so many years prepared for… and before Spencer, hoped for.

It wasn't as over as she thought. Instead of pulling the trigger, he let the girl go. Emily felt gravity claim her, the tug on her hair released. She fell to the floor, desperate to breathe. Filth poured into her mouth as she inhaled, making her sputter and cough wildly.

"You'll say it… even if it's the last words you ever say." He slowly stepped away from her, leaving the pathetic, grimy girl to herself, trying to regain some composure.

Sutter didn't give a care to her condition. His gun poised at the ready, he made his way back to the stairs. Carefully, he walked up, reaching the trap door. At long last, he undid the latch, taking a moment to carefully prepare himself. Quickly, using all his strength, Sutter threw open the door, immediately pointing his gun at anyone who crossed his path.

But there was no one there. No sign of his prey… for the moment. He knew he had to around here somewhere, no doubt preparing to strike him in the back. Just like the coward he was.

He glanced back down the steps. Emily – his Emily – was still lying there, practically comatose from the pain. He didn't trust leaving her alone too long, but he had to take care of this nuisance. Keeping the door wide open, Sutter headed up to the kitchen in his pursuit.

Thank God, he'd finally left, as he suspected he eventually would. Reid sighed with relief as Sutter finally moved out of sight. The young genius stepped out from his hiding place, underneath the stairs.

It hadn't been easy getting down here. Even now, it felt more like a dream. His body produced more strength and adrenaline than the human body was normally designed for, but in times of great need, a human was capable of great things. Nothing was going to stop him from getting to her.

After chopping a hole in the trap door, just wide enough to let in his hand, Reid reached in to undo the latch. His work hadn't been very neat; the jagged, sharp edges of the hole scratching and cutting into his hand, turning it into a bloody mess, the sleeve of his shirt ripped like he'd taken a pair of scissors to it. After a moment of struggle, he managed to undo the latch, releasing the hidden panel outside, and hurried down the steps, leading right to the door…

…which just so happened to let out right underneath the basement stairs. To a laymen, it was almost impossible to spot it, but Gideon had pointed it out to him specifically. Luckily Sutter had been too busy fussing over Emily to notice anyone come in. He wanted to jump out, attack this man for ever putting his hands on her… but he couldn't risk it. He couldn't take the chance he'd hurt Emily, not even when he had the gun to her head.

That, however, didn't bother him. Not in the least… and hopefully, Sutter would remain unwise to that fact for a little longer. It gave Reid the advantage.

Right now, there was the task at hand. He might only have a moment before Sutter came back, wanting to drag Emily upstairs to stash for safe keeping until Reid was out of the picture. There was no sign of him yet. He had to hurry.

Placing a gentle hand on Emily's back, he felt her flinch a bit. She was much too worse for wear; the poor girl needed help. No doubt her wrist needed rechecked, the break was probably worse now. There were bruises appearing on her arms, which he knew meant there were others on her body.

"Emily," He whispered, leaning down to her ear. "Listen to me, you need to get up."

Emily groaned, low and heavy. She was trying to open her eyes. She wanted to shove this bastard off him, slap him across the face with her cast, give him a taste of his own medicine… but wait…

She knew that touch… she knew that smell… oh, she wanted to swaddle herself in that smell, like a newborn baby in a blanket.

Finally, pulling herself up, she forced her eyes to open a little, managing to look at him. "Spencer… I knew you'd come for me…"

"Of course," He said, kissing her temple. His heart practically split in two at the sight of the slosh of purple forming on her face. He'd obsess over that later. They were running out of time. "I know you're weak, but you have to get out."

"How?" She wondered, starting to regain some function.

Carefully, Reid began to help her to stand. "Over there… under the stairs, see the door? That'll take you outside." He looked to her with a small smile. "You can hide in the woods."

"What about you?" She stuttered in a hiss. "I don't want to leave you. Let's just go together, forget about Collin."

"No," Reid shook his head. "I'm not giving him the chance to get away again."

"But he could kill you!" Her voice squeaked as she started to cry.

Reid shushed her, pulling her to her feet. "That won't happen," He said, sounding much more confident than he felt. "Here," He pulled out his phone, placing it in the palm of her hand. "Call for help. If you can't get a signal, keep trying. I'll only kill him if I have to, but once I get him restrained, I'll come for you."

Emily didn't have a choice. She had to obey him. Reaching up, she kissed him quickly. "Be careful… I can't lose you."

"You're not going to lose me." He said, managing to convince her his confidence was sincere. "I'll see you soon, you'll see. I promise, this will all be over soon."

Without another word, without giving either of them a chance to change their minds, Reid gave her a gentle shove toward the steps before pulling the door closed. It easily latched… he was gone. Emily might never see him again.

He was fighting her battle. Emily should be standing up to Sutter. She couldn't just let him do this alone.

First thing first, she needed to use the phone. No signal, just as Reid had suspected. Bracing herself, Emily climbed up the steps, careful not to slip from the rain water on the wood to get outside.

Water droplets splattered all over the screen, but she could see two bars came up. It might work. Having no idea what town they were near, she didn't know who else to call. So quickly, she hit the redial button, putting it to her ear. Listening to the rings, Emily stumbled through the mud and the muck to get to the safety of the cabin. Her sore body leaned against the wall.

"Reid," Rossi said on the other end. He sounded almost panicked. "Sutter's there isn't he?"

Emily nearly gasped and collapsed, not only hearing Rossi's comforting voice, but to know he knew the story. "Yes… he's here."

Her panting breath told him what kind of condition she was in. "Emily, I'm so sorry, this is all my fault. I never should have left you guys. Is Reid with you?"

"He's in the cabin," She said in a sob, covering her eyes. "Sutter beat me pretty bad, but Reid got me out… he went after him."

"Just hang in there Emily," Rossi said. "Morgan and I just spoke to Hotch, we know the whole story… we're on our way and we called the local police close to you, they'll be there soon."

There was no sign of any cops coming. No sirens, no cars driving up the muddy road, they didn't have any more time. They needed help now.

Her feet sinking into the mud, Emily sloshed her way over to the side of the cabin, peaking over the corner. As if expecting Sutter to be there, looking for her. "I'm not sure Reid and I are going to last that long."

"Emily," Morgan cried, and that's when she knew she was on speaker phone. "You're in the woods, hide there until the cops get to you."

"I can't do that to Reid!" She hissed, wanting to scream at him. "I have to help him!"

"You can't help him!" Morgan screamed. "Sutter's goal is to get to you, once he has you, there's no telling what he'll do. To either of you. At least Reid can hold him off for a while.

"So Reid has to die for me?" She exclaimed.

Rossi begged for her to understand. "There's nothing you can do. You're beaten and injured. At a time like this, even with Reid's help, you don't stand a chance. It's not worth losing your life over."

"I'm sure Reid will be fine." Morgan added. He spoke to her like she was a child, and his words would be enough to convince her.

That was where they were wrong. She wasn't going to let another man throw his life away because of her, especially this one. The one she loved so much. Without another word, Emily ended the call, dropping the cell into the mud to be lost in the rain fall. She wasn't going to be a coward and hide in these woods. She wasn't going to run anymore.

The rain was soaked into her nightgown, she was aching sore and felt ready to collapse, but she had to play the cards she was dealt. Slipping around the side of the house, she carefully made her way to the front, needing to get inside.

* * *

><p>It was now or never. Either Reid was going to come out of this victorious or Sutter was. Emily's life depended on Reid's success. If he didn't stop this man, he was never going to leave her alone. He either had to stop Collin Sutter… or die trying.<p>

Just like he promised.

Slowly, with his gun in hand, Reid headed up the steps back into the kitchen. He had never been so grateful for his sneakers, not even make a squeak as he walked. On careful legs, Reid climbed out of the hole, keeping below the counter line. Not that he was so worried about Sutter seeing him first, but he wanted to keep the element of surprise.

Rising up slowly, Reid got a full view of the main room of the cabin. The fire he'd built for him and Emily was dying away, giving little light to the place. The heat in here was sweltering. Already, he was perspiring into his clothes.

No sign of the unsub yet. Stepping out of the kitchen, Reid did a quick check of the room, aiming in every corner and place out of the line of sight, just in case the man was hiding. Living room and kitchen were clear.

That left only place left, the back of the cabin. In the bedroom. Reid stood at the end of the corridor, facing down to the other end. The light didn't reach down there, bathing the room in shadows and darkness. Monsters always hid in the dark, did they not?

Reid eased his anxiety by reminding himself he did have an advantage. Sutter needed to remain ignorant to that as long as possible. Walking as if he were being led to the gallows, he made his journey towards the back, ready to face him.

"Collin Sutter," Reid called, keeping his professional demeanor. It made the situation seem less intense if he pretended this pursuit were just a routine case. "I'm Dr. Spencer Reid of the FBI. Put your weapon down and come out with your hands up."

"I know who you are." Sutter called from the back room. If Reid had to guess, he was calling from the bed. "I've known for a long time."

"I'm armed, and I'm prepared to shoot you in self-defense." Reid continued, as if this truly meant nothing. "Give yourself up now."

Calmly, Sutter replied. "Why don't you come in here? We'll have a little chat… before I blow your brains out."

_Not likely_, Reid thought. It could be a trap though. He could just be waiting to attack him when he stepped through that door. But Reid pushed on, not letting his fear get the best of him. Besides, he had a hunch the older man actually did want to talk.

The door was almost wide open. Reid didn't even need to push it before he stepped in. In the dimness, Reid saw that the bed had not only been reassembled from his disarray while searching for weapons, but also neatly made. On top, with his shoes still on and his gun in hand, Sutter sat, watching and waiting… like he'd been expecting company all along.

Reid pointed his gun at him. A voice that sounded remarkably like Morgan's was calling in his head to just shoot him. This man had done enough to them, no one would question if it were out of defense. He didn't though, simply waited him out.

He should have… it would have saved him a remarkable amount of grief.

"You haven't saved her, you know." Sutter said evenly. "You should have gotten away when you had the chance."

"That's a lot of brave talk coming from a man who has a gun pointed at him." Reid said, just as calm.

Sutter sat up straight, swinging his legs over the edge. He gave Reid a smile. "We both know if you were just going to kill me… you'd have done it by now."

"Collin you have to stop this." Stated Reid. "If you truly loved Emily, you wouldn't be doing all this to her. You wouldn't be manipulating her and tormenting her, you just want her to suffer for hurting you."

Angrily, Sutter got to his feet. His gun, while in a relaxed grip, was held up, ready to shoot should he have to. "Like you didn't do the same thing."

Confused, "What are you talking about? I won Emily's heart honorably. And by won, I mean she gave it to me. I didn't force it from her."

"No, you just tricked her." Sutter called. "You think I don't know what happened? I've been watching Emily for over a year now. I was just ready to make my move when you had to step in, you little bastard."

He honestly had no idea what he was talking about. This man was undeniably disturbed. "You're mistaken, Collin. I never tricked Emily, I spent five long years wanting her, falling in love with her, but the only person I physically hurt was myself."

"You think I'm stupid?" He cried. "Emily might be, she never made smart decisions, and your friends might be, too, if they actually believed you lost your memory. I could see the truth. You figured out a way to appear weak and fragile in front of her… because you knew she wouldn't be able to resist. Emily's always been a sucker for pathetic causes."

"That's probably why she became friends with you." Reid retaliated. "Despite what you think, Sutter, my loss of memory was genuine. I care too much about the people in my life to do something that cruel, especially Emily. I don't like hurting people, unlike you. And if it weren't, do you really think I would have given up six months when I could have been with her?"

He was not convinced. Sutter took a step forward. The two men were only a few feet from each other, both guns held up and ready. Everything in Reid kept telling him to shoot. Even if outsiders didn't believe it was due to an attack, he didn't care. They'd be done with this slime for good, he'd suffer an consequence.

"Maybe to throw her off? I don't know; frankly I don't care. I'm finally going to be rid of you and take back what is rightfully mine. And always has been."

"She doesn't belong to you!" Reid cried, letting his defenses down a bit. "Emily is a person, she makes her decision whom she loves. It doesn't matter who she chooses, what matters is that she doesn't love you."

"Stop saying that!" Sutter screamed. Reid could see he was getting angry. He'd have his chance in a minute, and not a drop of blood would be shed. "Emily and I belong together!"

"No," Reid shook his head. "If you really loved her, you'd want her to be happy. I'm sorry she broke your heart, but it was her choice to make. You have to accept that."

And with that, Collin Sutter snapped. His face contorted with fury as he raised his gun to Reid, pointed directly at his chest. Reid had no chance to duck for cover or even fire his own weapon before Sutter pulled the trigger.

Click.

The soft sound lay flat in the cold air.

Click. Sutter pulled the trigger a second time… a third… a forth… nothing. Nothing but the soft snap from inside the empty chamber.

Reid had his gun at that the ready, squeezed tightly in both hands, his injured one painfully squeezed around the metal. He was unable to stop the small smile on his face. Sutter looked up, meeting his eyes.

"Obviously, you don't know much about firearms, especially how a weapon feels when it's not loaded. The man who owns this cabin never loads the guns hidden here. That way, intruders can't use his weapons against him." He stepped closer now, close enough to reach out and touch the delusional man. "I, however, knew where the ammo was as well."

He expected Sutter to back down. Maybe try to move past Reid and run away. In any scenario, Reid assumed this was over. That he had won.

How wrong he was.

Sutter had nothing to lose. Before the genius knew what was happening, the psycho threw caution to the winds and lunged at him. Reid never had a chance to pull the trigger. Sutter tackled him to the ground.

A fight had broken out. Reid tried to get a position on his gun to fire, but Sutter was too strong. The struggle continued, like two starving wolves fighting over a piece of raw meat.

Reid cried out in pain as Sutter punched him in the face, but he was far from defeated. He kept fighting, striving to break free, take the shot if he could. Sutter was getting many good shots in, determined to hurt this man in any way that he could, while Reid's main focus was just defending himself. He had to get out of this. He had to stop him.

They tumbled out of the bedroom and down the corridor. Reid attempted to knee the man in the groin, but missed and jabbed his thigh. Sutter responded by tossing him against the wall of the island counter, leading him back into the kitchen.

It would have been the perfect shot, but Reid couldn't aim in time. Coming forward, Sutter knocked the weapon away, not even bothering to fetch it. This man who had ruined everything was going to die by his bare hands… and Emily would see his body with her own eyes before he finished her off, too. That way she could never leave him again.

The match continued. Reid was almost to his feet when Sutter tackled him again, banging his own head against the cabinet. It didn't faze him one bit, though, keeping the upper hand in this attack.

Reid was panting as he pulled himself up, spotting the block of knifes on the counter. Shiny and sharp. If he could just grab one of those…

…as he moved toward them, Sutter grabbed him by his neck, holding him still. The strength of this man was phenomenal. No matter how much Reid struggled and clawed at his grip, he could neither break free… nor breathe…

Nose to nose, Sutter stared deep into his eyes. With a sickening smile that stunk of both mold and whiskey, Sutter whispered. "She's mine. She's always been mine… and tonight, I'm going to make her mine forever. I almost want to keep you alive so you can see."

Reid was gasping, barely able to think as Sutter began to laugh. Hands still around his throat, he pulled Reid to stand up. He knew his neck was about to be broken… and the sound of his evil laughter was the last he'd ever hear.

It wasn't, however. Instead, there was an ear shattering bang no less than ten feet behind him. Reid cringed, for a long time only able to hear the sharp G note ringing in his ears.

Thankfully, though, the grip on him was released and sweet oxygen filled his lungs. Reid collapsed to the ground, just an inch from falling down the steps back down to the cellar. He couldn't understand what had happened… what was that? Why had Sutter let him go?

A body fell beside him, landing with a sickening thud. Sutter's. A stream of blood pouring from an open wound in his temple. A gun shot wound… but who…

He could have used a few more minutes here, but was desperate to get up. As his hearing starting to come back, Reid fought to pull his aching body off the floor. He stood up straight, looking around and spotted the culprit. The woman filthy, beaten woman holding the gun, tears streaming down her bruised face as she held it up.

"Lose something?" She asked, trying to put a light spin on things.

He had told her to run. To hide and be safe, that he would stop Sutter… if she had listened, he'd be dead right now… and no doubt, she'd soon follow.

Without a word, Reid hurried around the counter. He swept her up in his arms, holding her close. His lips pressed kiss after kiss on any part of her he could find.

"Thank you," She sobbed in a whisper, clinging to him with her bad arm, the other with the gun pointed toward the floor.

Moving to look at her, Reid cupped her cheeks, love and grief and gratitude filled his eyes. "Thank _you._"

With that, he leaned down and met her in a long kiss, her casted wrist stroked down his arm as both his hands landed on her hips. The kiss turned so passionate, she completely forgot what was in her other hand... and accidentally pulled the trigger-

They both jumped and screamed, realizing what Emily had done. A smoldering bullet hole shown through the wood floor. It was an accident. They were both alright. No harm, no foul.

For a moment, though, they both thought their ears were ringing again, but that wasn't it… in the distance they could hear sirens. The Doppler Effect indicating they were heading this way. They were only a little late.

Eyes meeting again, Reid took the gun from her and set it on the counter. Safe now, he wrapped her in his arms again. Emily leaned on him, crying and sobbing without any reserve. For just a little while, the two forgot there was an outside world. It was just this moment. Two lovers, wrapped in each other's arms, grateful to be alive.


	28. Two Days Later

It felt so much like a dream. Reid could hardly believe everything that happened only took a few days; one long, horrible weekend. Now it was over. It didn't feel like it was over.

What happened next was very vague and foggy to Reid. He remembered the cops arriving, and he remembered them separating him and Emily so they both could be check over. With her adrenaline wearing off, her injuries were starting to take their toll. She could barely walk from the pain she was in. Reid was a bit worse for wear himself, but he didn't want to leave her. They practically had to restrain him to take her away.

After riding to the hospital, Reid was brought in and checked over. Reid had two broken ribs and vibrant purple finger marks were glowing around his neck. They sedated him, and Reid couldn't stop himself from falling asleep. He didn't wake up until early Wednesday morning. There was still no sign of Emily, and none of the hospital staff would take him to her.

By noon, he was debating getting out of bed and sneaking down the hall to find her. He didn't like this, Reid was so afraid someone else was going to hurt her if he wasn't there to protect her. He'd probably feel that way for a long time, just like after they got out of cult. Even after staying with him a few days, having to let her go was the hardest thing he'd ever done. At least this time, they were together. Reid could spend the rest of his life protecting her, and he didn't even have to hide it.

Thankfully, he didn't have to sneak out. The orderly came in with a tray of food just before 12. "Here's lunch, Mr. Reid, how are you feeling today?"

"I'd feel better if someone could tell me where my girlfriend is." He said bitterly, seeing the food set on the tray. The smell met his nose and he felt guilty as his stomach rumbled. He should be trying to get to Emily, not taking the time to eat… although that turkey sandwich did look good.

"Can't spend two minutes away from each other?" Someone said as he walked in, pulling Reid's attention from his mouthwatering lunch. "You two are worse than a couple of teenagers."

Rossi had arrived, carrying a bundle of daises in his hand. Reid couldn't have been happier to see him, and glad he was alone. They could speak freely.

"She prefers lilies." Reid said, indicating the bouquet. "Purple stargazers particularly."

"Oh, I didn't know that." Rossi said, looking at the flowers. If Reid didn't know better, he'd say it was almost nostalgically. "I thought daises would be a nice gesture."

"Have you seen her?" Reid wondered. The orderly wheeled his food over, settling the table over his lap. "Thank you."

"Enjoy, I'll be back for the tray." He said, making his way to the door. He let himself out, leaving the two men alone.

"I stopped by yesterday, she's doing alright." Rossi went and took a seat near the foot of the bed. "They didn't give her anything to tranquilize her, but she's been sleeping a lot. It's probably her mind's way of processing the trauma. She'll snap out of it soon."

"I want to see her." Reid demanded, starting to push the food away… however heavenly that broth smelled… and that blueberry cobbler looked so good. He normally hated hospital food, but it had been days since his last real meal. They hadn't even had breakfast before Sutter got to them.

Rossi sat up and pushed the table back into position. "Eat, Reid. She's not going anywhere. You're injured; you need to rebuild your strength."

He had a point, and Reid didn't have the strength to argue. Without an argument, Reid started digging into his food like he'd been raised by wolves. Rossi couldn't help but laugh.

"So," Reid said after a few minutes, taking a sip of his apple juice. "Sutter's dead? It's been confirmed."

"We'll need Emily to identify the body, but yeah, he's dead." He said. "Who shot him?"

"Emily," Reid answered. "Sutter was choking me. Assuming my anatomy is right, which I'm certain it is, he was going to snap my neck any second… if Emily had run away like I told her, too… I'd be dead. Whether she'd be alive or not remains a mystery."

One of the many things to be grateful for, it was Emily and her rash decisions. "We'll need statements from both of you when you're back in Quantico, so… the three of us will need to collaborate. Get your stories consistent."

He was a bit confused, "What's there to work out? We'll just tell it like it is?"

"I'm just saying we don't want anything coming up about your new relationship." He corrected. "Both of you will cover it up, I know, but we need to make sure your scenarios match. Just in case."

Reid had no desire really to change their story. Let them get caught, he really didn't care. He and Emily were alive, they'd gotten through this, just like he promised her. Who cares what happened now, at least they were together. They would always be together, no matter where life took them.

"I thought you would be trying to convince us," Reid said between bites of his sandwich, "to cool it, with Hotch getting suspicious and all. That there was too much at stake, that we need to think about more than just ourselves."

Rossi crossed his legs as he observed the young man, the flowers settled neatly across his lap. "I suppose that would be the wise thing to do. I've never been one that worries about politics and rules as it is… but even if I were, I couldn't do that, especially to you."

His spoon of broth raised halfway to his mouth, Reid looked at him, confused. "Why me?"

"Reid, do you think I'm blind?" He asked, amazed. "Do you honestly think I couldn't see how you felt? You've been in love with Emily ever since I've known you. I could see it the first day I met all of you. The way you looked at her, treated her… she couldn't see it, and the others were just as oblivious, but I knew. You've been pining for her for five years, and I watched her fall in love with you when you were sick… now you both can have each other." His mouth spread into a prideful smile. "I'm certainly not going to be the one that stands in the way of that."

Embarrassed, Reid's cheek flushed pink as he asked in a worried tone, "You knew? All this time?"

"It was pretty obvious." He insisted.

"Did you tell her that?" Questioned Reid. "Or just hinted about it? Is that why she got so close to me?"

"I never said a word to anyone." Rossi assured, putting his mind at ease. "Emily's feelings came of their own accord. I knew if I told her, it might influence her. I promise, her falling for you is completely genuine."

Reid was a bit confused, though, giving him a significant stare. "Yeah, but if you knew about it, why didn't you just tell her when I got better? We could have started over right after I got my memory back , we never would have lost those six months."

Rossi sat up a bit, leaning forward, his hands folded before him, "And what would that have taught either of you? It wasn't my place to meddle. You don't just get the answers in life. Emily needed to work up the courage to tell you the truth. She needed to take the chance and risk getting her heart broken. The fact that I knew it would turn out alright is why I kept pushing her to do it, but I couldn't just tell her. Just like I couldn't just tell you when you got better. Now you both deserve each other."

"No," Reid shook his head. "I don't deserve her."

"Sutter didn't deserve her." Rossi corrected. "Sutter was willing to kill her just so he could keep her to himself. You on the other hand risked everything to keep her safe, including your life. Do you think any other man in Emily's life would have done what you did? No one deserves her more than you."

Maybe he was right, and that got Reid's mind churning again, as it often did at the drop of a hatch. His spoon landed softly in his broth, stirring and swirling the liquid, turning cooler by the minute. "I've been studying killers my whole adult life, and even though I know how their minds work… I don't know, I can't comprehend what set Sutter off about Emily that he was driven to kill so much. That he tried to change so many women to make them into her… if Emily stopped loving me, it wouldn't drive me to kill."

Rossi looked away. There was a twinkle in his eyes, and for just a moment, Reid thought he was going to cry. He'd never seen the man look like this.

Clearing his throat, he vaguely responded. "I don't know… sometimes when you lose something… or someone... suddenly nothing makes sense. When that happens, you'll look for anything to fill that void… even treat someone like she's her, just so you can get on with your life."

There was more there than Rossi was saying. A lot more. "Do you… have some experience with that, Dave?"

At that, he suddenly came out of him trance. "Finish up and I'll take you to see Emily."

He knew better than to push the subject. Whatever it was, perhaps Rossi would open up about it later… when he was ready.

* * *

><p>"<em>I don't know if I can do this." Emily stammered. The tears were already threatening to break free, knowing what she was about to come face to face with.<em>

"_It'll just be a moment." Morgan assured, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You know he got what he deserved."_

"_If it hadn't been for me…" She began, but couldn't finish. Her emotions took over as the tears spilled out. She might be alive, but it didn't feel like a victory. All this horror happened because of her. She ruined his life… she should be in that drawer, not him._

_There was a time when he had been a good man. He could have done so much for the world, and she took all of that away. What was sickening was Emily saw it coming… she could have stopped all this before it ever happened. She could have saved him._

"_Come on, Prentiss." Morgan said, holding his hand to her. "Just a look and it's all over. He'll never haunt your life again."_

_Not bloody likely, she thought. She wanted to run, but accepted his hand and stood up, heading down the corridor. The large metal doors of the morgue loomed at them as they approached. The walk down the hall was feeling like a death march. Her doom waiting for inside that cold chamber, and the future she might have had looking back at her._

_All too soon, they reached the doors. Morgan swung one inside, holding it open for this troubled woman. Emily gave him a glance of appreciation and walked in._

_Rossi was waiting for them in there. His eyes were soft and gentle, but she could see the disappointment inside them. This poor man… thanks to her, his life was over. How selfish was she to let him get mixed up with her… even when she saw it coming, she just let it happen. Now she couldn't even tell him she was sorry._

"_We just need a look," Rossi informed her. Now the kindness in his gaze was gone, replaced but bitter anger. He knew it was because of her that he was gone. She robbed him from all of them… gone forever. They would never be the same._

_Hanging her head, Emily nodded. Knowing she understood, Rossi went to the center drawer. He braced himself for what they'd find in there, griping the handle. Taking a deep breath, he wheeled the drawer out in one pull, revealing the form draped in a long white sheet._

"_White, appropriate." Morgan noted. "He was always so innocent."_

"_Not anymore," Rossi mumbled, glaring at Emily. His anger was growing faster as the seconds passed. She wanted to say she was sorry, but she couldn't even think where to start._

_Grabbing the end of the sheet, he braced himself once again. Morgan stood back, unable to look at the form. Emily stood at the ready, face to face with the man who gave her everything… and her, nothing in return. Rossi whipped the sheet back, revealing the man underneath._

_Emily burst out into sobs as she came face to face with Spencer Reid._

_He was dead. He died because of her, the girl who ruins the lives the lives of everyone she touches… even if she loved them._

"_I'm so sorry, Sweetheart," She said, bending to kiss his head. He was so cold, her poor baby. "This is all my fault… I love you. I will always love you."_

"_Not enough apparently," Rossi muttered. He could take no more, rushing out the room, the doors swinging violently behind him as he left._

"_Don't listen to him." Morgan said, stepping closer to her. "He changed… I don't know how, but he turned into a monster. He deserved to die."_

_He became a monster because of her… because she was too selfish to live without him._

"_I'm sorry," She whispered. Rossi had every right to be mad. All she cared about was herself, and once again, it destroyed the life of her lover… and her friend._

"_I'm sorry," She whispered. "I should have saved you, Spencer. I'm so, so sorry."_

_Her cries filled the morgue as she continued to brush back his hair over and over… until a strange sensation touched her hand._

_Curious, Emily stood up, pulling his hand from his hair. From the low light of the morgue, her hand glistened red. Blood covered her hands, and as her body quaked with fear, she let out a blood curling scream._

"Emily," A voice called, jostling her awake. "Emily, wake up! It's alright!"

Her eyes popped open and Emily gasped, like a drowning man finally emerging to the surface for air. Panting and wheezing, she took stock of the scene around her, changed completely. She was in bed, in a hospital room. She was dry and changed, a new cast wrapped on her arm, an IV positioned in the joint of her opposite arm. No blood, no body… she was safe. It had just been a horrible dream.

Looking over, she spotted the person who woke her. Reid sat right by her side, wearing a navy blue robe over his hospital gown. His hand, resting on her arm, slid down and fell into her grasp. Even when he squeezed it, she couldn't believe he was here, that he was alright. For now.

"Spencer." She whispered. "You're okay."

"Of course, I'm okay," He reached over with his other hand to brush back her messy hair. It was tattered and knotted, she was in dire need of a bath and brush, but he it didn't even cross his mind. He gave her a loving smile, brushing her warm cheek lovingly. "Even better now that I'm with you. How are you feeling?"

There was a question with no exact answer. She was terrified for one thing, hardly able to believe they'd survived. She wasn't even sure what day it was. Not to mention the guilt and anxiety growing in the pit of her stomach. Reid looking at her like that did not make it any better.

"Fine," She answered, looking away from him. "Just… tired."

"I'll bet," Reid said softly. "You've been in and out of sleep for almost 48 hours."

"48 hours," She repeated, looking over at him in shock. "Oh my God, it's Wednesday?"

He nodded, "Yep. Rossi's staying in town to keep an eye on us. He said the team stopped by yesterday, but they had to get back to Quantico to close the case. We can go home in a couple of days."

"Oh," She sighed, "That's good."

He leaned on her bed, meeting her eyes again. She remembered the first time she saw those beautiful hazel eyes. Really saw them, that night on the dance floor. He'd been so confused, no idea who he was… yet that sparkle had always been the same. And she saw it now. Did he look like that when he looked at other people, or was it something special just for her? Collin never looked at her quite like this. That must mean Reid loves her more than he ever did, and that meant he was more at risk.

"You're apartment's going to need fixed up a bit, I think." He said with a smile. "The carpets and a few things need repaired after that fight. At least it's a nice excuse for to stay at my place. I bet the super fixed that window by now."

"I don't know," She muttered, looking away from him.

Why was she doing this? Emily had made so many mistakes in her life, maybe it was time to stop for a moment and look at them. Maybe even learn from them. She didn't know what she was going to do, but she did know she couldn't hurt this man. She couldn't let him ruin himself, crumble into oblivion like the others had.

"Em," Reid said with concern. He cupped her chin and turned her to look at him. "What's wrong?"

When she met his eyes again, she almost blurted it out. The whole truth, that it was a horrible mistake being with her. She couldn't let him do that. Because Reid would throw himself into oblivion to save her… so she had to save him. But how.

"Spencer, Sweetheart," She stammered, lowering her gaze again. "Uh… I'm really tired. I want to go back to sleep."

"You can go back to sleep." Reid said. "I'm tired, too. I might curl in the chair and take a nap."

"No, you should go back to bed." She insisted, tugging on his arm to try and get him to stand. "You need your rest and I need mine. We both need to rebuild our strength… it's not fair to you… to ask you to stay."

Suspicious, and perhaps a little hurt, Reid asked, "Are you sure? Really, I don't mind staying. I'd do anything if I got to stay with you."

No surprise, she thought. "No, no, what I want you to do right now is get some sleep… I'll see you later, okay?"

He hesitated, but Reid gave a small smile and nodded, standing up. "Okay… you rest, we'll figure everything out later."

She agreed, giving his hand one more squeeze before she let him pull it away. She wanted to reach out to him, pulling him into her arms and never let him go. Her whole body was screaming for him to leave her, her heart was aching to keep him by her side… but she wouldn't give in. She just couldn't.

Even if she'd seen it coming, Emily would have had no idea how to stop it. As he got to the other side of her bed, Reid quickly leaned down and caught her off guard, pulling her into a loving kiss. She knew she shouldn't, not when she was so confused, but she couldn't help from kissing him back, needing him so much. Even if it was just one more time. One more time when they could be happy.

Their lips parted begrudgingly. It felt like hers were reaching out to keep grabbing onto his, unable to survive without them.

His mind, however, was not tormented. Reid enjoyed and savored it, just excited for the next time he got to taste her kiss. Giving a smile, he rested his brow on hers. "I love you."

The words were out before she even heard them. "I love you."

Reaching up, he kissed her forehead before stepping off, heading towards the door. He gave her one last smile before stepping out. Slowly the door pumped close, shutting her in with a soft click.

Alone now, Emily sunk down into her bed, tears immediately spilling out onto the pillow. At that moment, she came to a decision. This wasn't about what either of them wanted, it was about doing the right thing. Reid would never believe her, if she were to explain this, so it was up to her. Emily made a decision. One she would have to live with forever.

There was no way out of it. Emily couldn't risk Reid's life anymore. She'll destroy him, just like Matthew Benton and, especially, Collin Sutter. No, maybe Reid wouldn't come after her to force her into submission, but it would definitely turn his life to shambles. What they could have and create together wasn't worth the risk of what she'd, inescapably, do to him. No… Emily would have to let Reid go.


	29. Dear John

This was obviously the spineless thing to do, but Emily couldn't do this in person. One look in those eyes and she wouldn't be able to think, she'd never be able to walk away. This way was safer, this was quick and clean, and they wouldn't even have to confront each other. She fully expected this to hurt him, for Reid to hate her with all his being. That was just fine. Better for him to loathe her than to lose his own identity from love.

It felt like she was having an out of body experience when she wrote the letter. She didn't even know what she said by the time she finished, nor could she force herself to read it over, too afraid she'd lose her nerve. Her hand was shaking as she gripped her pen as best she could with her left hand, signing a very raggedy version of her name. The last connection she'd ever have with him. Tomorrow, she'd be gone.

Holding back her tears, Emily folded the letter and slipped it into the envelope. She signed his name over the top and stood, going to set it in the middle of his desk, propped against his empty coffee mug so he wouldn't miss it.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, as if he were listening.

"Hey, Prentiss," Morgan called as he walked into the bull pen. "What's going on, what's that about?"

"Just, uh…" She closed her eyes, willing the tears to keep from flowing out. "A thank you note, to Reid… for all his help."

"The kid saves your life and all you get him is a card?" Morgan wondered. At that, he gave a cheeky grin. "I'd say that kid deserves a lot more as a meaning of thanks."

He winked at her. Disconcerted, Emily turned to her longtime partner. "What are you talking about?"

But he didn't answer, dropping the subject at once. "So, word is we're heading to Napa this week. Sorry you can't join us."

She forced a smile, "One of the rare times the team actually travels somewhere warm and beautiful and I can't be a part of it. I'll be keeping busy, though, there are a few local consults I can take over, plus some calls to return. I'm starting to feel like a junior agent all over again."

"You'll be back in the field soon." He assured, patting her shoulder. "The team just isn't the same without you. Who's going to watch my back if you're not around?"

Emily hesitated, looking away. "I'm sure you do just fine without me, uh… I need… some coffee, so… I'll see you in the conference room."

Immediately, Morgan noticed the anxiety about her, and wondered if something had happened between her and Reid. He had the sudden urge to grab that so called 'thank you note', rip it open, and read what truth lay inside… but he left it alone. He and the others had more important things to deal with anyway. They'd been planning this for the last few weeks, they weren't going to risk waiting any longer. It had to be now, to catch them off guard. With that in mind, he headed to the conference room where the others were getting ready.

Emily stirred her coffee. She was getting a lot better at using her recessive hand. By the end of the summer she'd probably be ambidextrous. The fact that she just remembered that term made her want to cry, knowing she wouldn't have known that before Reid.

Since they left the hospital and returned to DC, the two lovers had barely spoken. It hadn't been easy keeping Reid off her tail, he was so protective and watchful of her. A part of loved it, but another knew it was unfair to lead him on. Luckily, Emily was able to keep him at bay by feigning exhaustion. She claimed she was on some pills to help her sleep without nightmares. He continuously offered to let her stay with him, that it would be easier to get better if she had someone looking after her, always telling her how much he loved and missed her. Anyone else, she would have thought the man was so needy, but she adored hearing that from him. She ached so much for Reid, but Emily wouldn't give in. It was better this way. If she could just avoid him for the rest of the morning, she'd be heading off to Bethesda alone… and she'd never see him again.

With every passing second, Emily hated herself more, unbelieving she was doing this. To Spencer, the man who would have died for her and gladly… but that was the whole point. She had to protect him, by any means necessary. She wouldn't let him make the same mistake again, not if she could stop it.

"Good morning," A voice said behind her that made her whole body quake. Her good hand clutched tightly to her spoon, as if it were strong enough to hold her back. It took all her strength to keep from turning around and throwing her arms around him, even right here in the break room. Slowly, Emily glanced back, taking in the sight of the man smiling warmly at her.

"H-hi," She said carefully. It was like the day he'd gotten his memory back all over again, unsure what to say, how to even start.

Casually, Reid walked over and took a mug for coffee. Obviously, he hadn't taken the one off his desk. "I haven't seen you in a while, how are you feeling?"

"Uh, a little better," She nodded. He was still holding himself awkwardly. The two ribs were still healing. At least the bruises were almost gone, barely visible under his lengthy hair. "You?"

"Much better," He told her with a smile as he reached over her for the carafe. "Then again, I didn't get as bad a beating as you. When do you get the cast off?"

"Two weeks." She explained. "And then some rehab to get the strength back."

"Yeah, you've got to be able to fire again so you can get back in the field." Reid informed. "Are you traveling this week?"

Emily shook her head. She was never going to travel with the team again. "I'll be doing some work in town, offering assistance with Garcia. Are you… going?"

The canister of sugar tipped over his cup, pouring a stream of white powder into the steaming liquid. "I was told I could go if I wanted, but…" He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "I think my efforts are better spent elsewhere."

If he went on the case, though, by the time he got back, she'd be long gone. There'd be no chance he could stop this, this had to happen. "I think you should go."

Stunned, Reid turned to her. "You don't want me to stay? We haven't seen each other in weeks."

Quickly, Emily considering how to phrase her words, telling him the truth without actually saying it. "It's not that, believe me… I just think it would be selfish… to keep you with me."

"But I hate the idea of leaving you alone." He insisted. Reid abandoned his coffee, not even caring about decorum as he closed some of the space between them, moving closer to her. "You have no idea how badly I wanted to go to you over all this time. I was climbing the walls, trying to resist, but I knew you'd been through a lot and you needed your space. I was so worried about you, I just wanted to be there to look after you, make sure you didn't need anything…" He reached over and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. His fingers trailed along her jaw, making her gasp quietly. "Make sure you knew you were safe."

Her hand began to move on its own accord, wanting to brush his cheek and say thank you. To not care who was watching and pull him into a slow kiss, telling him just what that meant to her. No one cared about her like that, no one else ever would. God, this was killing her.

Instead, she backed away. "I don't need you to protect me." Picking up her coffee, she stepped back towards the bull pen. "The others are waiting, we'd better get in there."

With that, she turned and hurried away. Confused and dejected, Reid watched Emily walk through the unit, moving further and further away from him. It was like she was a completely different person, that never truly loved him at all, and was just using him… to save her life. But Emily wouldn't do that… right?

No, he knew her too well. Whatever this was about, her love for him was real, he was sure. He could see it in her eyes, even now, when it felt like she was slipping away. Picking up his mug, Reid followed her to the bull pen, wanting to grab his bag before he went to the conference room.

When he arrived, he had quickly dropped it in his chair upon spotting Emily, not even glancing at the desk he had left behind almost a month ago. Now, however, he had a better view of it. With his amazing memory, he knew something was wrong with it. It was still a mess with the few books he left behind, files he was looking over… his coffee mug… the one he usually liked to drink out of… and an envelope propped up before it.

That was new. His hand reached out for it, seeing his name scribbled over the front. That was Emily's handwriting. Her left hand, no doubt, but that was her.

"Spence," JJ called from the catwalk just as his fingertips brushed the thick paper. He turned to her at once and she gave him a serious, yet knowing expression. "Can you get up here; we need to talk to you."

"About the case?" He called.

She paused a moment, trying to hide her knowing smile, wanting to remain serious. "Among other things."

That was all she said before slipping back inside, where everyone else was waiting. This was rapidly turning into a very abnormal morning. Still, though, Reid would never deny his friends. He grabbed the envelope and stuffed it into the pocket of his sweater vest, heading over to the steps. His long legs bounded up onto the walkway, rushing over to the conference room.

Inside, sure enough, he found the rest of his team. Something was definitely fishy about this gathering. No one was reading case notes on their pads, no one was getting ready to discuss the case, or even just casually drinking coffee. There was definitely an agenda going on here, and for a brief moment, Reid expected to see Strauss among them.

Thankfully she wasn't. Just the regulars, all watching him with interest. Except Emily. She seemed almost oblivious to what was going on around her, lost in her own tormented thoughts.

"What's going on?" Reid asked from the doorway.

"Take a seat, Reid." Hotch ordered. His face was hard and serious, the look he used when someone was in trouble… when someone had jeopardized himself and possibly other members of the team. He'd never seen him this serious, though.

Obeying his command, Reid took the seat beside Emily. She shifted a bit, pulling herself an inch more away from him. A simple gesture that shouldn't mean anything, but said so much.

His nerves were churning as he glanced at each member of the team. "Well?" He questioned, absolutely perplexed. "What's this about, guys?"

"Reid," Garcia began. "Sweet Baby Genius… do you really think we're stupid?"

"I would never say stupid." He said seriously. "I'd say all of you are well above average, though I wouldn't say it compares to my expertise-" It was no surprise he was talking a mile a minute. Sure enough, when his anxiety grew, Reid had a tendency to ramble.

"That's not what we're talking about, Spence," JJ smirked, sharing a glance with Garcia. "We know what's going on?"

At that, Emily finally came out of her trance. Something about was too suspicious. "What are you talking about?"

"The two of you," Morgan pointed out. "We don't know how you define it, whether it's just some friends with benefits thing or star crossed lovers or… whatever, we do know there's more going on between you two than a friendship and a connection to the team."

"Excuse me?" Emily exclaimed, looking over at Reid. She wondered if perhaps he had let the cat out of the bag, but Reid wasn't a very good liar. Not to the rest of the team, anyway. By his shocked, terrified expression, she knew he was not responsible for this.

She remembered Rossi telling Hotch that he suspected something, but she didn't think the rest of the team knew. And even if they did, she never expected they'd confront them like this. They were more a divide and conquer type of people.

Reid wasn't sure how to explain this. If he lied, they would be able to tell, especially since he and Emily had never formed an excuse on this… the never even suspected.

"I understand you were trying to hide it." Hotch said, his hands on his hips in a kind of predatory stance. He refused to take a seat. "But this really puts the BAU in jeopardy. If Strauss finds out about this, you both could be transfered and she'd break up this whole team. Is that really what you want?"

"There's nothing going on between us!" Reid exclaimed, and rather convincible, Emily thought. "I did my duty as an FBI agent to protect Emily… and suddenly everyone believes we're a couple."

"Hmm, we never said couple." Garcia grinned.

"Let's look at the facts." Morgan pointed out. "Reid starts dating some special girl around the exact same time Emily's so happy, she's singing in the break over some guy. Neither of which, you two will reveal anything about. Come on, guys, we're not stupid. You guys are dating, just admit it."

"We have nothing to admit, we're not lying about that." Reid argued. "If we're dating new people, we don't have to tell you guys anything. JJ dated Will for a year before she came clean about it."

"Which you guys knew about the whole time." JJ pointed out.

"But we never said anything!" Emily cried. She did not have the nerves to deal with this today. "We just… gave you a nudge when the right time came. You came clean to us."

"Well, the right time for you guys is now!" She insisted with a satisfied smirk. Maybe she needed to clarify their thinking, explaining better. "Our reasoning is not without evidence. The way things have happened lately… it just seems a little too suspicious for two people who are just friends. Reid, you were there for Emily through everything, at the drop of a hatch. It was like you knew about it before it happened, which I'm sure someone with your intelligence will say is impossible. You were there right after she got attacked. I called her to tell her someone broke into her apartment and she was staying with you. Don't pretend like she was sleeping in the next room, she was sleeping right beside you, I'd bet any amount of money."

Reid didn't know what to say, "Uh…" He stammered. For the first time, he was faced with a problem and he didn't know how to go about solving it. He glanced at Rossi for help, but it seemed his powers of persuasion were defeated. He couldn't throw this whole group off their scent… it was over. They were caught… and it could mean the end of their team.

Emily was not going to let them go down like this. In a few hours, it wouldn't be a problem anyway. She sat up and announced, loudly, like she were calling into a microphone, "Alright, you caught us… but it's not what you think."

"What are you talking about?" Morgan asked, glancing at the others. "Either you're together or you're not."

"It's both, actually," Emily answered. Her tone was hard and bitter. Slowly, she stood out of her chair, standing steadily on two feet. Her hands pressed onto the veneer top of the round table, her eyes focused into the grain of the wood.

There was a long silence as the whole team waited for an explanation. Rossi, who had remained silent through all this, caught Reid's eye, both thinking the same thing. What was she up to?

"I've known for some time there was someone after me." She admitted. "I didn't know who at first, but… I didn't suspect it was just an ex. I thought perhaps it might be an enemy of mine, I've got a handful of them, as we all do… so I came up with a plan. I needed to attach myself to someone to throw him, whoever it was, off the trail. I thought if he saw I was close to someone, he'd realize I wasn't completely vulnerable, and he might back off… so I asked Reid if he would help me. He agreed, even though he was dating someone else. He's always been there for me.

"As you can see, my plan didn't work." She continued. "It just fueled Collin's fire. Reid was too far into it at that point to back off, so we had to stick together. We worked very hard to make a relationship convincing… Collin certainly believed it. Judging by this little intervention, it spilled over to all of you."

It was surprising the disappointment that floated over the team. Sure, it was a great risk, two teammates dating, but… it seemed regardless of the consequences, their friends did want them to be happy. They could see such a connection and chemistry between them, yet they were just friends. That was probably all they would ever be.

"So that's it?" Garcia questioned. "It was just an act."

Everyone turned to Reid, who as fighting a pain in his stomach he was convinced was an ulcer. She just sounded so definite, like this wasn't just a speech she was putting on for the others. Reid didn't want to believe it… but he swore she was sincere.

When the pressure was on, he could hide his feelings. He'd been fighting his love for five years, he'd gotten pretty good at keeping his desires secret. With shrug and a grin he replied, "Yeah, it's true. I didn't feel it was my place to tell all of you… I couldn't betray Emily's confidence.

"Which is one of the reasons I trusted you in the first place." Emily turned to him and gave him a fake smile. Reid didn't buy it for a second, and neither did Rossi. Something was unquestionably wrong with her.

Garcia, Morgan, and JJ, however, were put at a disappointed ease by this. Nothing was as it seemed. "We're sorry, guys." Morgan apologized. "We didn't mean to accuse you, we just… wanted you to be honest with us."

"Guys, we trust you more than anyone." Reid announced, looking around. Hotch's cold expression hadn't changed in the slightest, but he wasn't a man who expressed himself so openly. Reid didn't focus on it. "We wouldn't be alive if it weren't for all of you… we're sorry we had to lie, it was just best."

"We never intended you to know about it, it was just for Collin's benefit." Emily announced, with that, she stood up straight and backed away from the table. "Look, uh… since I'm not traveling this week, I don't think I'm needed at the briefing. I've got to get to Bethesda, so I'll look over the case files later. Call me if you need anything."

She hurried towards the door, barely hearing Garcia call, "Bye, Em," before she was out of earshot.

"Is she alright?" Rossi wondered, looking to Reid.

"I think she's suffering from a bit of post tramautic stress." He responded, glancing at her out of the blinds. She barely paused at her desk long enough to grab her bag before heading out of the unit. "I've decided to stay in town this case as well, since I'm still having trouble breathing, so I'll check on her later today."

"I'd say go with her, but I doubt you could catch up." Hotch replied. "Reid, keep a very close eye on her this week. I think she needs a friend."

Like he needed an excuse to stick by her side. "I will, sir."

"Good, let's get started." At last, their unit chief took his seat and JJ grabbed the remote, at last ready to present the next case.

Reid shifted in his seat to get more comfortable, the first victim appearing on his screen. As he moved, he heard a crinkle in his pocket, remembering the envelope he stuffed in there. He knew he should be participating in the briefing, but his mind was too distracted to focus. Discreetly, he reached into his sweater, extracting the note.

The envelope wasn't sealed, so it was easy to slip the letter out without drawing attention. Sure enough, his suspicion was confirmed. Reid stared down at his corduroy lap as he unfolded the paper of Emily's beige stationary, written in her somewhat sloppy handwriting.

_My Dear Spencer,_

_You may not believe this, but this is the hardest letter I've ever had to write. I hate to tell you this way, but I think, considering the circumstances, it's a wiser idea. I don't think we should see each other anymore. Please understand, this has nothing to do with you. You've treated me with nothing but love and respect. You made me feel so special and to top it off, you saved my life. I could never repay you for all that you've done… but we can't do this anymore._

_I know this is sudden, but it's for the best. We made a mistake when we got back together two months ago. I never should have taken advantage of you when you lost your memory, that's when this all started. I take full responsibility for everything that happened, so please don't blame yourself. This is solely my fault. I can't keep letting us continue down this road, we both know it won't end well. You may not see it now, but it's true… I never should have told you I love you. It's not true. I was caught up in the moment and I couldn't tell the difference between love and passion. I was stupid and foolish, no better than some ignorant little girl. I thought I knew better than that, but apparently I don't, and I ended up hurting someone who means a great deal to me; you. I can't imagine how this hurts, I wish I could spare you from it. You'll heal though, I know. You're so strong, Spencer, so much stronger than me, and you deserve to be with someone better. It was never you who wasn't worthy of me… I'm not worthy of you._

_Please don't tell the others yet, but after today, I'm not coming back. I'll send my resignation into Hotch. I don't want you getting caught up in this, but I felt it best I warn you first. I need to get away for a while. Perhaps, sometime in the future, we can reconnect… maybe even become friends again. Until that day comes, I wish you all the happiness in the world. I do care for you, you were the best friend I ever had. I will always look on what we had with great fondness and nostalgia, and I hope you will do the same._

_ Your Friend,_

_ Emily_

What just happened? Reid read the letter three times before he could fully comprehend what it said. By the third time, he still couldn't understand, but he did have this horrible knot in his stomach. It hurt so much. No, this couldn't be happening… Emily was just leaving him. Like that? Without a second thought? How could she do this?

"Reid," Rossi called, trying to get his attention. "I think we're in need of your expertise here."

He didn't even hear him, forgetting the others were even in the room. She didn't even sign it with love, either. Your friend, Emily? No, friends didn't do this to each other. Friends at least had the courtesy to tell you in person. That coward… how could she do this? After everything they shared?

"Reid?" Hotch exclaimed. "Are you even listening?"

He still heard nothing, their voices turning into white noise. This was not happening. No, he deserved an explanation, not some damn Dear John letter.

"Earth to Reid, come in Reid!" Morgan cried.

At last, Reid sat up, startled by the crying of his name. Everyone was looking at him with worry and interest. He was never like this, normally he was spitting out facts with no way to stop it. Now it was like he was sleeping.

"Uh," He shook his head. After reading this, there was no way he could focus today. "Guys, I uh… I feel really sick today, um… maybe if it's best if I sit this case out fully."

Glancing at Rossi, Hotch questioned. "Are you okay?"

"I think I will be, I just need some time." He choked out. His voice was cracking like a pubescent boy. "Would it be alright if I took the day?"

Hotch gave a nod as Rossi informed, "Take all the time you need."

"Do you need someone to drive you home?" JJ wondered, obviously worried.

"No, thank you." He said, standing up. "Call me if there's a problem."

Before someone could protest, Reid got out of his chair. He grabbed his shoulder bag and ran out the door like the room was on fire. He must have been upset. He left his pad right on the table. They all knew Reid despised technology, but he never just left his stuff lying around.

He never looked back as he rushed through the bull pen and out the glass doors. As he made it to the elevators, he pushed the down button, pulling out his cell phone. Immediately, he called Emily.

"Damnit," He whispered. There wasn't one ring. It went straight to voicemail. He knew exactly what she was doing, avoiding him so she could get away, but Reid was not about to let that happen. He was not going to just roll over and accept this, he had to go after her. Reid was not giving her up without a fight.


	30. Out into the Storm

A/N: Oh, the finale! It was so beautiful. I loved how it focused on JJ and Will so much, we rarely get to see them together. I'm going to miss Emily so much, but I liked this departure much better than the last one.

* * *

><p>It was only early evening, but already the sky was as dark as night outside. Clouds were rolling. A few flashes of lightening were seen in the distance. A storm was just on the horizon.<p>

A soft rumble of thunder was heard in the quiet apartment. The place had been fixed up, no remnants of Collin Sutter remained inside. The smell of mold was gone, replaced by the strong warehouse smell from the new carpet. Normally, Emily would light some candles to cover it up, make the place feel more like home. Not today, though… she wouldn't be here much longer.

Emily was leaving in the morning. She had a flight at six, that meant she needed to get to the airport by four. There was a one-way ticket to Madrid on her nightstand, her suitcase half packed on the chair near the closet. She stopped halfway through packing, not in a great rush. Anything she forgot, she'd just buy again in Spain. Right now, she couldn't get him off her mind, and before long she couldn't hold back her pain any longer, completely breaking down.

For a long time, she sobbed into her pillow. Emily knew she had no right to be this upset, she was the one who broke his heart, but already she missed him so much. She longed to feel his strong, slender arms around her body, feel him wrap himself around her curves. She missed how perfectly their bodies curled together, like two spoons nestled in a drawer. No one had ever held her like he did… and no one ever would again. She couldn't imagine trying to get close to a man after this… she'd much rather wind up alone than to try and fill that void.

As she cried, Sergio who, unlike her, was happy to be back home, came to her aid. Unsure why she was so upset, he nuzzled her arm before curling into a ball to nestle beside her. She was grateful for the feline's comfort. As her cries began to subside, she reached over to pet the silky soft cat. He was coming with her on her trip. At least she'd have some company.

It was almost eight by the time she stopped crying. Emily lay silently, listening to the growing storm and stroking Sergio over and over, who was purring with content. She stopped trying to fight thinking about Reid. It was over and done with now, she couldn't go back and change it. She would be thinking about Spencer Reid for a very long time… and how things could have been. The life they would have shared… marriage… a home… little baby geniuses, she almost started crying again as she thought about the children that would never be born. Children that she had wanted so much with him.

Perhaps had it been another time, another place… things would have been different. They could have had everything. But two people didn't get a happily ever after just because they wanted it enough… she couldn't change the inevitable.

A knock on the door sounded at the stroke of 8. Right on time. The landlord said he'd be by at 8 o'clock to discuss subletting her place. She just needed to sign some paperwork and she'd be done with it. Amazing, it was so late, she hadn't eaten all day and yet she wasn't hungry. She just felt numb now.

A roll of thunder sounded. Closer this time, indicating the storm was moving in further. Heading down the soft, carpeted steps, Emily went to the first floor down to the door. First, she checked the peep hole… but it was dark. Like the hall had gone pitch black… but that couldn't be. Someone was covering it.

Her gun was within reach on the counter and she picked it up. "Who is it?" She called.

"Take a guess." Reid called from outside. No surprise he was angry. She knew he'd been calling all day, but she never expected he'd show up here. He was supposed to be in Napa. "Open the door, Emily."

"What are you doing here?" She called, setting her gun back down. She didn't need that kind of weapon to protect herself. "Why aren't you with the team?"

"Open the door and we'll talk about it." Reid demanded. He was truly angry, but there was desperation in his voice, needing to speak face to face.

"There's nothing to discuss." Emily cried, trying to keep a distance from the door. She couldn't let him in.

"Oh, I disagree," Reid argued. "You don't get to just walk away from me, I deserve more than some goodbye letter, so open the damn door!"

He so rarely swore, and Emily knew he was serious. Reid would find a way in here, no matter what it took. He was right. That letter was to save herself from facing him. He at least deserved to hear it from her own mouth.

Against her better judgment, she undid the latch, the lock, and the deadbolt and opened the door. As it began to open, Reid shoved it the rest of the way, quickly rushing in before she could change her mind.

"What the hell is this about?" He asked, waving the piece of her stationary in his hand. She could see splotches of water on it, from the first of the rain fall.

"I'm sorry," Emily began. "I thought I explained it well enough-"

"Oh, you explained it just fine!" Reid yelled. "But it's a damn lie, Emily!"

Trying to keep calm, Emily took a few steps back from him. She folded her arms, giving an icy expression that could have rivaled the token stare of Aaron Hotchner. "It's not a lie. Look, back at the cabin… I was scared, I was confused, I thought I was about to die. I never expected we'd actually get out of there alive… you were so kind to me, I overthought the circumstances. I thought I was in love then, but now that the fog has lifted… I realize it's not true. I can't keep leading you on, hoping I'll feel for you like you do for me."

She nearly wanted to vomit for saying such dishonest things. Just watching him stare at her like that, she could practically hear his heart ripping in two. Five years he'd been in love with her and she was destroying everything in a matter of seconds.

He wouldn't give in to her. He knew her too well, she was telling him these things for some reason, but he had no idea what. "You're lying."

"No, I'm not," She said forcefully. "I know it's hard, but you have to accept thi-"

"No, it's not true!" He cried, getting right into her space. There was barely an inch between them, but his hands never touched her, however badly he wanted to pull her to him. "Do you think I've ever been with a woman who treats me like you do? God Emily… I see it when you look at me, when your hand touches mine, you hold onto me like the universe itself is going to rip us apart!"

"Stop it," She whispered, pulling her eyes from his.

"What we have is not normal, it's unlike anything I've ever experienced before. I could search the world and never find someone who treats me like you do." At that, his hand finally came up, the tips of his fingers touching her cheek so lightly. It felt like a warm breeze on her skin. "The way you hold me, kiss me… do you think anyone's ever made love to me like you do? No. You love me… you love me as much as I love you. I never believed it were possible for one person to be perfectly matched to another, not before you. We belong together; we're made for each other. I've accepted that, why can't you?"

Her whole body was shaking. Emily felt like she'd plummeted through a sheet of ice, sinking into frozen water. She was so scared and cold, she could hardly breathe. "It doesn't happen often… but you're wrong. You couldn't be more wrong."

With that, she shoved his hand off her cheek forcefully backing away. "You need to get over yourself. You're so desperate for someone to love you, that you built up this delusion that we were more than we ever could be. You need to realize this is over and it's time to move on. I don't love you and I never will."

Every word she said felt like a thousand knives were stabbing her. It was killing her to say this, and looking into his eyes, it was even worse on him. That gorgeous glow sparkling in the hazel of his iris suddenly went out.

He began to back away, and she could see he was trying his best to keep his emotions from exploding. "You did love me. I know it, and now that we're alive and we've gotten back to reality, you're scared. You can't accept how you feel and now you want to run. You're nothing but a coward."

Reid turned to leave, but stopped, turning back to her. He had more to say. "God, Emily, you have no idea what we could have been… I would have done anything for you. I would have given you the world, done anything to make you happy. I would have spent every day showing you how much I love you… because I do… I love you more than life itself."

She closed her eyes, willing herself to say strong. She wished he would stop saying these wonderful things, she just couldn't take it. Why couldn't he just leave? He was killing her.

"But… that's fine," He continued, his anger getting the better of him now. "If this is what you want, alright. You want to be miserable and alone, I'll let you, but don't you dare ever come into my life again. I'm done."

As he said his final word, he ripped the letter in two, letting the halves flutter to the floor. He turned to leave through the open door. Something urged Emily to hurry forward, to grab his arm and stop him, just before he crossed the threshold.

"Spencer," She said softly, holding onto him. "I never meant to hurt you."

She truly could have fooled him. Looking over his shoulder, he scowled at her with a fury she'd never seen in a man's eyes before. "Go to Hell."

Wrenching his arm from her grasp, he headed down the corridor. Emily didn't know what to do, she was boiling over with so many emotions, she didn't know how to handle them.

She stepped back in her apartment and slammed the door, much more angry with herself than with Reid. Nothing he said was out of line. Not even bothering to lock the door, Emily leaned against the wood, her tears beginning to spill out and her sobs filling the empty place.

This was not the way she wanted this to end. She had hoped they could part amicably, that he would understand this was for the best and they both could move on. He could live a much better life than what he would have with her, why couldn't he see that?

Wiping her tears away, she stepped over to the living room. She stood before the large picture window, overlooking the beautiful scene below. The sky was so dark, and lighting flashed in the sky. How odd was it, thinking to what Reid had said… about making her happy… about loving him the way she had. Collin had made so many promises to her the last time they spoke when they were young. He wanted to give her so much… and it terrified her. Emily had wanted to run for the hills at the thought of being stuck with him.

Reid just offered her all the same things, and she practically needed to nail her feet to the floor to keep from running into his arms. She wanted to share all of that with him, and even more… yet, she couldn't let herself give in, no matter how badly she wanted to.

The rain started, pattering on the pane of glass, blurring the landscape before them. Thunder sounded again in the sky. It was raining when they first decided to move forward. In her car, in rural Virginia. They made out like two teenagers in that storm that night… no one made her feel like he did, like her life really meant something.

Their first date had been right there, in the distance, before the reflecting pool at the Lincoln Memorial. Rain had caught them by surprise that night, too… when they had shared the most passionate kiss. He was right, she never kissed anyone like that, she never treated a lover like she treated him. Reid meant everything to her… if he didn't, she never would have spent six months pining for him. When he lost his memory and they were together, it was nothing like what they had now… it became even better. Before it felt like a dream, but now… it felt real. She'd spent many years dedicating her life to hunting down evil, saving people and putting criminals behind bars. Yet it took the love of Spencer Reid to make her feel like she was worth something.

Reid was her one and only chance for happiness – real happiness – and she just ruined that. Was he really going to be that much better off now? Was she? Who cared how their lives and careers flourished if they were ultimately miserable?

"Oh, God," Emily sighed, turning around. What did she just do?

Maybe it wasn't too late. She could still catch him. Emily didn't even bother pulling on shoes or grabbing an umbrella. She rushed to the door, whipping it open.

It shouldn't have been much of a shock to find the hall empty, but Emily had half hoped Reid would be waiting out there for her. It didn't matter, she had no time to lose. Closing the door in a flash, Emily hurried out into the corridor and made a bee line for the stairs.

The cold, dirty linoleum made running difficult in her bare feet, but she didn't care. Down… down… down… Emily went as fast possible, spiraling around each flight to reach the bottom. There was no sign of anyone on the stairwell, which meant he was already outside. It might already be too late.

There were several people in the lobby, checking mail and chatting about the inclement weather. The fragrance of fresh summer rain filled the room, left behind by the people coming in to the warmth and safety of the building. Each tenant shot Emily a disgusted look as she ran through the lobby, but she gave them no recognition. She had a more important matter right now, one of life and death. Hurrying to the door, she shoved it open, landing on the front stoop and into the darkness, soaked instantly by the pouring rain.


	31. Risk

Her ebony hair stuck to her face as she ran out onto the sidewalk. With her good hand, Emily pushed the soaking tendrils out of her eyes, needing to get a better look around. No, she couldn't have been too late. She couldn't lose him.

Looking left, there wasn't a soul in sight. Her chest was starting to feel tight, all hope slipping away. As she turned right, however, a strange figure was slowly moving away from her. At first, she thought it was someone hunched under his umbrella… but that wasn't an umbrella. In lieu of a one, the walker took off his sweater, guarding himself as best as possible from the rainfall… just like he'd done on their first date.

That was him. That was Reid. Sobbing with relief, Emily ran in his direction, her bare feet pounding on the pavement, splashing through the gathering puddles as she went.

"Ah," She exclaimed, tripping on an uneven crack in the cement. It hurt terribly, but Emily wouldn't stop. Standing straight again, she continued to run, trying to catch up to him.

"Spencer!" Emily cried, her calls carried by the blowing wind and rain of the storm. "Spencer, wait, please!"

He must have heard her, she was getting closer. Reid didn't stop, though, continuing on as if he hadn't heard a thing.

Closer and closer, she ran, desperate to get within reach of him. Her feet ached from the concrete beneath her and her whole body weighed down by the weight of her clothes, but she couldn't give up. She couldn't lose him… if she still had a chance to keep him.

At last, she reached him and grabbed his arm. "Spencer!" She called.

Now he had to know it was her, but all he did was pull his arm away. Reid wouldn't give in to her. He didn't want to hear her explanation, to ask him to come upstairs so they could mend their friendship. No, this was over. Now he knew why agents weren't supposed to fraternize… it was just too complicated. If Reid couldn't have everything with her, he didn't want anything.

Emily wouldn't be denied. He had to listen. Forcing herself to run faster, she hurried to get in front of him, blocking his path. Reid stopped, wishing he had the willpower to just shove her onto the street, out of his way. His car was just a few steps away, why couldn't she just let him go!

"Spencer, please listen to me." She begged, her tears mixing with the rain splashing on her face.

"I don't need to hear any more explanations!" He screamed, hurt and wrath burning in his eyes. "I don't want to be near you. Not now, not ever, so get out of my way!"

"No, Spencer, please, I made a mistake!" She cried, her trembling hands grabbed his shirt. "You were right… I was lying, I do love you… I love you more than anything!"

It didn't make any sense. If she loved him, why would he want to send him away? "What's the problem, then? Am I just not good enough for you?"

"It's not you… it was me…" It was getting harder to breathe and she hoped she wasn't about to pass out. Regardless, Emily pushed forward. She had to say this… and God, it felt so good to finally say.

"I'm just…" She admitted. "You're right, I am scared. I'm afraid of what might happen… Spencer I've hurt so many people in my life, and you mean more to me than anything… I don't want to ruin your life."

His sweater was getting too heavy and it wasn't doing much good anyway. Reid dropped it onto the ground, falling in some floor bed of some apartment complex. His gaze was intense, making Emily fearful and weak in the knees at the same time.

"You don't get it, do you?" He asked, calling over the raging storm. A crash of thunder sounded not long after the lightening flashed. The storm was over their heads.

Confused, "Get what?"

"Emily… you already ruined my life!" He exclaimed, seeing her expression turn into fear and bafflement. "Our first case together… that day on the plane… you changed my life forever and I can't go back. And until today, I didn't want to."

He took a step closer, his eyes focused intently on hers, begging her to understand how real this was for him. "I never saw a woman the way I saw you… regardless what happened after or what I went through over the years, I was so grateful to have found you. Even if we had never kissed, had never shared any of this… my life was better because you were a part of it. But it doesn't matter how much I love you, how can I possibly be with someone… who's too afraid to be in love?"

Emily hung her head, ashamed of herself. "I am afraid. For so many years, I've been terrified of falling in love because I didn't want to be stuck with someone… but now… I don't want you to be stuck with me."

Ironic, because that was all he dreamt of for five years. "If there wasn't a risk involved… this wouldn't be worth it. If there wasn't a risk, everyone would fall in love, everyone would find a happy ending. What we found with each other is so rare… I know that because until now, I had no proof it was true, and therefore I didn't believe it was real. We have the chance of a lifetime, we can't just throw it away. No one has any certainty that this will work out, not you, not me, not anyone, but in order to find out, we can't be so afraid, we won't even try. Good or bad, I know you're worth the chance… so what about me? Am I worth it?"

She needed only a second to decide. Looking up at him, Emily nodded. His trembling hand, dripping from the falling rain cupped her cheek. They were both saturated from the storm, continuing to pour on them without relenting. Reid's gaze softened and she saw that gentle compassion ignite in them again.

"Say it," He said softly.

"You're worth it," She stammered.

He let out a sigh of relief, like he expected her to pull away again. Reaching forward, he met her in a delicate kiss, barely making contact with his lips. Emily took the opportunity to progress forward, kissing him like she was about to lose him forever, her good hand running up into his sopping hair, her casted arm wrapping around his waist. A reprieve went through her body at the taste of his kiss, like a drug she'd been craving for hours now swam through her blood stream. At that moment, she made a vow to kiss him like this as often as she could, never wanting to let him go again.

As they parted, she started crying again. "Tell me you love me." Reid gently requested.

"I love you," She whispered, barely loud enough to hear in the wind. She felt so liberated letting it out, she couldn't resist saying it again, over and over, mixing with her thankful sobs. "I love you… I love you…"

She kept crying it out over the rage of the storm, burying her face in the wet fabric of his shirt. Reid kissed the top of her head, holding her was tightly as possible. They just stood there in the middle of the gale, never wanting to let go.

* * *

><p>The thunderstorm died down after a few hours. It was after midnight, and the clouds were starting to break up, the night sky poking through here and there. Such an ugly storm was turning into a very beautiful night.<p>

Panting heavily, Emily collapsed onto the pillows, her body glistening with sweat. She could only lie there, trying to catch her breath and slow her pounding heart. Her eyes closed slowly for a minute, savoring her lingering pleasure.

Smiling, Reid gently lay beside her, his lips fixing on her pulse point, feeling the rhythm of her heart himself. He kissed and nuzzled her neck, his arm going around her middle, holding her close.

Emily sighed with content, "Thank you," she whispered as she slowly came down from her high. "Thank you… thank you… thank you…"

Reid couldn't help but smirk with pride, sitting up a bit to look at her. She matched it, reaching up to give him a lazy kiss.

Hours before, when they finally decided to come out of the rain, they hurried back down the sidewalk to Emily's apartment, rushing to get back upstairs. Finally, what felt like a mountain climb due to their sopping apparel weighing them down, the couple made it back to Emily's apartment, slipping inside. The door hadn't even shut before they started stripping down, tossing their dripping clothes out of sight, not any of their concern at the moment. They needed each other, desperately, and as the last piece of clothing had been tossed away, they came together, kissing and caressing their cold, shivering bodies. Each touch brought a prickle of heat, warming them down to their cores, having missed each other so much. They barely made it upstairs and onto the bed before they came together, making love to one another like no one else ever could.

They were both utterly insatiable, their passion continuing on with the pounding storm outside. They were so in tune with each other, not needing to express a single word. Now warm under the covers, the two moved to lay together, wrapped in each other's arms, They simply enjoyed their afterglow, feeling nothing but exhaustion, happiness, and love.

Emily pressed a few kisses to his shoulder. "I love you." She whispered as she nuzzled against him.

Reid sat up on a propped arm, looking over the vision beside him. She always looked so beautiful in her afterglow, with her hair a mess and her lithe body spread out beside him, completely spent. "I love you, too." He smirked as he glanced across the room behind armor, a pair of glowing eyes watching them cautiously. "I think we scared your kitty."

Emily looked to see, laughing at the terrified feline finding protection from their unnatural actions and cries. "Well, I only got him a few months ago; he's never seen mama bring home a boy before."

Reid chuckled, giving her another kiss. She sighed happily as he pulled away, staring deeply into her eyes. Now that the insanity had lifted, they could talk honestly now, without fear. "Now… could you please tell me what brought that on? How could you honestly think you would ruin my life?"

She didn't want to talk about this, but after everything she put him through lately, she owed it to him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her fingertips brushing through the light fibers of reddish chest hair on his pectorals. "I should have handled this better… I just… I didn't know what to do, I panicked."

"I understand that." Reid informed, brushing her hair back, the better to see her face. "But I don't understand what made you think that in the first place."

Hesitating, Emily went back to the beginning. "I overheard you and Rossi talking, that night at the cabin. The night before Sutter got to us."

"Oh," Reid remembered. "You heard… how Hotch was suspicious about us."

"It wasn't that, that didn't really scare me," She clarified. "It was the fact you said you'd quit so we could be together. While I love you so much for that, it was so honorable… I started to see a pattern."

Curious, "What kind of pattern?"

"I had a friend… when I was fifteen." She began. Emily decided to keep her explanation short. The last thing she wanted to do right now was relive that incident. "His name was Matthew Benton. I had a problem and… well, he was starting to grow up and he was confused about God and life… I know it wasn't my fault, but because of my problem… he started going down a very dangerous path, and eventually, it ended his life."

"Matthew Benton," Reid voiced, recognizing the name immediately. "I remember him, he was one of the victims of that priest from a few years ago."

Emily nodded, "I always blamed myself for what happened to him. I also thought about Collin, who was a normal kid. He could have done so much with his life, but he got mixed up with me and… look what he turned into."

"That wasn't your fault." He urged. "Collin he made his own choices, no one forced him to be a killer."

"Regardless, he was killing because of me. Look at all the women who died because of me, Mick Rawson is dead because of me." She stopped and shook her head. "Hearing you would give up your job, throw your whole future away… Spencer, I'm not worth that. Suddenly I saw another person about to fall victim to me. I love you more than I ever loved anyone, I couldn't even bear the thought of you giving up what was important to you. I was too afraid I would ruin your life too… especially if this didn't work out. I mean… there are no guarantees." Her finger traced down the middle of his chest, right over his heart. "What if one day I fall out of love with you? Your sacrifice would be for nothing… that's why I'm so afraid to be in love, before I was afraid I'd be with someone with no way out, but with you… I don't want you to be stuck with me, when you could have someone better."

In Reid's eyes, there was no one better. I should be troublesome that she was having doubts, but he didn't get scared, he didn't brush it aside, saying they shouldn't worry about it, or pretend it might never happen. Instead, he gave her a smile.

"Maybe you will one day." He said sadly, hating the very thought. "But if that happens, you need to know… I love you more than anyone ever has, even more than Collin. And I know that because what I want is for you to be happy." Leaning down, he rested his brow on hers, staring down into her soft brown orbs, lighting up as she sweetly smiled. "If the day comes and I look in these beautiful eyes and I no longer see that light… if you don't look at me like you are right now, with all the love in the world… I'll know the truth. And I'll let you go, because all I want is for you to have what makes you happy. But we can't use the threat of what might happen as an excuse not to be together. We owe it to ourselves and each other to try and be happy. And I swear to you, if you let me… I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy."

Smiling, Emily closed her eyes, tears leaking out and dripping through her lashes. "You already do… please don't ever stop."

"So… you feel better now?" He asked with concern.

"Yeah," Emily nodded, looking at him again. "I'm sorry I got so crazy, I just didn't know what to do. I should have talked to you, we promised we'd be honest with each other, I just didn't think… anything you could say would make me feel better… I should have trusted you more."

He smiled, leaning down to press kisses on her neck. "Well, you know better for next time. But you have to promise me something."

"Mmm," she hummed, loving the way he ravished her, right on the spot that put her into his complete submission. She didn't want to talk anymore, she just wanted to get lost in the moment with him again. "What's that?"

He stopped his work on her and sat up, meeting her eyes. His expression was so serious, and it scared her. Emily was almost afraid he was about to walk out. If he didn't get the answer he wanted, maybe he would.

"Promise me," Reid begged her. "If the time comes and this is over, please do not do this to me again. I've had too many people in my life leave me with nothing but a note… I don't deserve to be left like that… my own father did that to me, Gideon did that to me… and no, I've never been able to get over it. You can't treat me the same way."

"Oh, God," Emily moaned. She was so ashamed of herself, how could she have done that to him? How could she have been so cold. Sitting up a bit, she pleaded, "I am so sorry… you are absolutely right, you don't deserve that. I shouldn't have tried to escape, I should have confronted you. I did it this way because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to walk away… now I can't understand why I wanted to. Please, forgive me."

She expected him to accept that and pull her into a kiss, but instead he lay back on the pillows, the sheets gathering just above his navel. "I'm not sure if I should accept that apology." He said, and with that, his mouth curled into an evil, wanton grin.

With a playful glare, Emily easily slid under the covers to his side, her leg wrapping around his waist as she lifted herself and straddled him, squeezing him between her toned thighs. "There must be something I can do to prove how sorry I am."

"Well, I can't think of anything," He teased as his fingers traced along her hip. Reid couldn't take his eyes off her. This perfect goddess hovering over him, he almost couldn't take it, "but I'm open to suggestions."

With a giggle, she leaned down met his lips. Reid wrapped his arms around her curves, holding her close to him.

Their kiss broke and she stared deeply into his eyes. "I love you, Spencer. Truly, I do."

Sitting up a bit, he brushed against her lips. "I love you. Maybe there is a chance we'll stop loving each other one day, but I can't imagine that happening… I feel like I've been waiting for you my whole life, and as long as I can help it, I am never going to let you go."

She smiled, closing the distance between them with another kiss. Of course there was a chance this wouldn't work out, but that wouldn't be true unless there was also a chance it would. And right now, it felt like the odds were on their side. Reid and Emily continued with kiss after kiss, barely breaking contact for air. It was the perfect gateway into another round of passion, where no more words were needed.

* * *

><p>AN: I realize this chapter has a final appearance to it, but there's one more to go, so stay tuned.


	32. Heaven

Before anyone knew it, the end of the summer was approaching. The last week of August brought the most gorgeous weather, with bright sunshine and clear blue skies for miles and miles. Saturday morning found the BAU home, much to their delight, and smack in the middle of the park, competing against the Crisis Negotiation Unit in the weekly softball game.

It was the bottom of the ninth and the BAU was up at bat. Two runners were on first and second. They were losing by just one run and needed to get a decent hit. Unfortunately, the last person they wanted in charge of that job was about to bat.

"Okay, Spence," JJ said, a sheen of perspiration lay on her brow, a few smears of dirt on her cheeks. She'd just run home, gotten them within winning range if they could just get the two runners on the diamond back in. "No pressure, okay. The whole team is behind you no matter what. If you make the hit, that's great, if not… that's okay. Just focus."

"I don't know, JJ." Reid shook his head. He barely had a speck of dirt on him, having struck out his first two times at bat that day, and hitting a fly on his third, sending him straight back to the dug out. "I'll probably just strike out again."

"Maybe, but you're not going to get any better with that attitude." She ordered, trying to find the right bat for him. No, these both were two heavy. "Just keep trying, you never know, this could be your moment."

"She's right, you know." Emily said, having emerged from the pen. The opposing team was getting anxious, he needed to get out there. JJ was just about to hand him one of the lightest bats they had, but she had a better idea. "Actually, Jay," She picked up a rather heavy one, the specific one she liked to bat with on her turn. With two strong and cast free hands, she took a swing to test it. Perfect. "I think lighter might be better this time, maybe that's where we're going wrong."

JJ was pretty sure she knew where they were going wrong, but the last thing she'd do is say it in front of Reid. "You're probably right. You can do this Spence, we believe in you."

"Thanks," his mouth crooked in an uneasy half smile, watching her hurry back to her seat. Now he was alone with Emily, giving him a secretive smirk. "This is never going to work, I've gotten three outs already."

"That's because your bat was too light. This is the weight we've been practicing with." She mumbled. "Trust me, you'll get the hit this time."

Reid couldn't say he believed her, but trusted her judgment. "Alright," he mumbled, knowing full well if Agent Coulson had pitched instead of Emily today, he wouldn't have this put on his shoulders.

She restrained herself from reaching up to give him a good luck kiss. Instead she gave him a smile, giving a loving tousle to his hair. "Make me proud, Baby."

With that, she hurried down into the dugout, standing before the wire mesh to watch, too nervous to sit down.

"Damnit," Morgan mumbled behind her, shaking his head. He looked over at JJ with a disappointed expression. "You know we're screwed, right?"

She let out a sigh, her words having no confidence whatsoever. "Miracles happen all the time, he might do it."

Emily clenched her teeth at that, but kept her composure from yelling at them. No, he would do it this time. She believed in him. Today, Reid got to be the hero.

The pitcher sized him up, sending messages to the catcher. Reid noticed how the outfielders were moving in, at the ready to catch his possible fly. Hotch was positioned on second, a junior agent on first. There was a light cheer in the crowd. In the stands, he could see Garcia cheering him, always on his side, no matter what. Beside her was Rossi, watching with interest. They never played, but showed up to every game for support.

Reid could feel her, though. Emily's gaze from the dugout, watching him with all the love in the world. He could just imagine her adoration. He could almost hear her thoughts, cheering him on. Suddenly, he felt like some hero in a movie, knowing his girl was on his side. Maybe he could do this.

The pitcher was ready, moving into the classic stance. Reid stood awkwardly, watching as it whisked underhand toward him at a great speed. He swung the bat with great force, hearing the whoosh as it rocked through the air. Strike.

His nerves were really starting to get to him. It was just like every other time, and no one was surprised. Reid looked back at the dugout, but Emily gave him a sympathetic nod. That was okay, just try again. He could do this… he wanted to do this for her.

Preparing himself again, Reid thought back to their little training sessions. Emily brought him to the batting cages. He hated it, those balls flying at him going nearly 100 miles an hour. It was almost as bad as when Hotch was teaching him how to shoot… well, not quite. He much preferred having Emily whispering techniques in his ear than Hotch barking out procedure. She had put his mind at ease. After a while, he started to get a few hits and started to understand the mathematics of the aspect… he just had to relax. No one was watching him now except Emily. That made him feel much calmer.

Relaxed now, Reid was prepared as the pitcher chucked the ball at him again, this time a crack resonated around the park, the ball flying far… far… deep into the outfield.

"Oh my God," Morgan cried as he jumped to his feet. JJ and the other remaining members of the team following suit, staring in shock at the sight.

As the ball landed in the grassy field just by the fence, it was the all clear for the players to run. Hotch, amazed, dashed around the diamond, stomping on third as he made the rest of the way to home plate. The junior agent followed suit, right on his tail. Reid ran as fast as he could onto first and took the risk to run to second. The outfielders were hurrying quickly to get the ball back into play, the young genius landing onto the plate just as the player caught the ball. He was safe.

"I can't believe it!" JJ cried, looking as Hotch rejoined them in the dugout. "He hit a double."

"Probably a triple if he could run faster." Morgan noted in just as much surprise.

The smirk on Emily's face could not be denied. As a young intern took the bat, Morgan caught sight of his partner, knowing her expressions pretty well. "You don't seem too shocked, did you know the kid was packing that?"

"Well, my doctor said my wrist would get better faster if I exercised it regularly." She said with a shrug. "I decided batting practice might be a good idea and took Reid along. It's not that much of a shock."

She wasn't exactly lying, turning back to watch Reid, getting ready to run to third when the moment came. That had been her doctor's advice, but she was determined to train Reid anyway. She was sick and tired of everyone cutting him down because of his lack of athletic ability. He knew sports better than most of the macho guys she knew, he just wasn't good at participating. Well, this ought to shut them up.

The intern hit the ball, but it was caught promptly in the outfield. The third out, and the game was over. Thrilled the BAU had won, the team started rushing out onto the diamond to thank the guy who had brought him here. Reid was shocked as he was taken in by the crowd, barely believing he'd ever be the center of such a victory.

"Way to go, Spence!" JJ exclaimed, reaching him first and pulling him into a big hug. "I'm so proud of you."

"Nice work, kid," Morgan said, patting the kid warmly on the back. "You've been holding out on us, I think. I heard you've had a little practice."

"Yeah, I'd say so." He said, turning to Emily, waiting patiently for her turn.

She grinned and pulled him into her own embrace, careful not to get too lost in it. "Great job, Reid. You made me so proud."

Their eyes met for just a split second as they parted. That one little glance said so much more than a hug and words of praise. Later, she'd truly show him how proud she was. They would just have to wait.

Not everyone was joining in the celebration, though. Hotch didn't want to get caught up in the crowd. He stood back, his hat in hand, watching the scene on the field. There was nothing outwardly suspicious about that hug, and that glance could mean anything, but he wasn't fooled. He'd never been fooled into believing anything than what his gut told him.

Walking over, Rossi casually stood beside him, his eyes on the flock of players as well. He eyed Hotch knowingly for a moment. The younger man didn't look angry or upset, but he didn't look suspicious either. Taking a deep breath, Rossi questioned, "You know they were lying, don't you?"

Hotch nodded. "Yes, I do."

Rossi sighed, shaking his head, not sure what to expect from this. "What are you going to do?"

There was a long pause before, speaking carefully, Hotch replied. "I don't think there's anything to do… not right now. They've done a good job keeping it secret, and the others are convinced everything was staged. As long as it can stay hidden like this, what good would it do to acknowledge it? Best case scenario, we lose one of them. The whole team could end up getting transferred and relocated, it's not worth it."

He couldn't deny how relieved he was by that. "So you're just going to let it slide?"

"Until it causes a problem, I don't want to deal with the grief. And besides," Hotch gave him a small smile, "they seem pretty happy. I don't want to be the cause for ruining that."

He couldn't resist teasing the younger man. "Aaron, you big softie."

Chortling lightly, "You'll look out for them, won't you?"

"As far as they know, I'm the only one in the loop." Rossi granted. "They can just be happy."

Both in agreement, they turned to watch the crowd, still congratulating the embarrassed young man. The two men were the only ones who saw him catch Emily's eye again, both exchanging a enigmatic, loving smile.

* * *

><p>At noon, the team was heading out to the lot. "I think this calls for some serious celebrating!" Garcia insisted, looking at the team. "What do you say we all head out for lunch?"<p>

"I'm definitely up for that, Baby Girl." Morgan agreed. "Any other takers?"

"Me," JJ cried. "I'm going to hate myself tomorrow, but I'm dying for a bacon double cheeseburger."

"Lunch sounds really great, in fact, I'm buying." Hotch insisted, looking at the group. Most of them were thrilled at the idea. Hotch might be a tough guy most of the time, but he so obviously cared about his team. He just didn't often get a chance to show it.

Emily, however, was not enthused. "Sorry, I've got to take a rain check."

From calls of protest, Garcia questioned, "Why not, Gorgeous? Come on, you can't walk out on us now!"

"Believe me, I'd love to stay with you guys, but unfortunately, I'm meeting my mother for lunch and if I blow her off, I'll never hear the end of it." She grumbled, despising the idea of having to spend even a few hours with her mother. "I'd better get home so I can shower and change."

"Why, she's just going to be disappointed in you no matter what." Rossi teased. "What about you, Reid, you coming?"

"Can't," He shook his head. "I've got to work on my thesis for my Philosophy masters, so I need to get to the library."

Morgan rolled his eyes. "Why do you even need to work, you know everything already."

"Thank you, Morgan, I don't know everything, actually," He corrected, and with that started to pull away to his car. "I'll see you guys on Monday."

"Have a good weekend, Spence." JJ called. The others called their goodbyes, watching as both Reid and Emily headed to their separate cars.

Their cars were just a few spaces away, the others within earshot as the two were unlocking their separate vehicles. Reid glanced over at Emily, giving her a smile. "Good luck with your mom."

"Thanks," She said reluctantly. "See you Monday."

"Yeah, you two." He called, as if he didn't really mean it, and got into his car. Emily got into her SUV, buckling up as she saw Reid's escort pull out of his spot, driving out onto the road. As she started the car, she checked around, giving her friends one more goodbye wave before she pulled out of her spot, heading over to the exit and turning onto the road in the opposite direction.

Twenty minutes later, Emily pulled down a separate street, finding a spot right outside Reid's building. Parked and the engine off, she sat back in her seat to relax a minute as she waited.

A few minutes later. Reid emerged from the building, back into the summer sun. He was changed in his usual attire, climbing into the passenger seat. "Here's your sweater." He offered. "Ready to go?"

"Hang on," She said, grabbing the garment. Swiftly, mindful of the steering wheel, Emily peeled off her softball shirt, revealing the white tank top underneath. Reid couldn't help but watch her, always thinking she looked so beautiful. She pulled the red sweater on, perfect for their outing this afternoon.

"Thanks," She said, giving him a smile. Now she was ready. Finally, she was able to reach over and give him a real kiss, holding him close to her. "I'm so proud of you; I knew you could do it."

"It's because I had such a great teacher." He muttered against her lips.

Their kiss commenced for a moment longer before Emily finally released him. "Okay," she said with a smile. "Ready?"

He was nervous, but Reid trusted her. With a timid nod, he answered, "Yeah… let's do this."

Pulling carefully back onto the road, Emily replied with a smile, "Don't worry… it'll be alright. I know you'll love it."

* * *

><p>His voice quivering, Reid looked down at Emily, barely an inch from him. He was having second thoughts now. "I don't know if I can do this."<p>

With a smirk, Emily warmly took his hands. "We've done it before, you know."

"I barely remember that." Reid replied. "The little I can recall, I believe I knocked us both to ground that time."

"It'll be alright," She assured, pecking a kiss to his lips. "Don't you trust me?"

She had him. He trusted her more than anything. Letting out a defeated sigh, he nodded. "You won't let me fall?"

"I won't, just follow my lead." She promised.

With that, Emily moved out onto the rink. She never released Reid's hand as she waited. One skate and then the other. He wobbled a bit, but Emily kept a strong grip on him. At least this time he wasn't awkward and nervous about him touching her. Those barriers were long gone now. Finding his balance at last, Reid stood up straight, steady on the ice.

Joyfully, she exclaimed, "You did it. See, I knew you could."

"Yeah, I'm fine." He managed to utter. "As long as I'm standing still."

Emily couldn't help but laugh. She started to move, pulling him along with her. "Come on."

Reid followed her lead, starting to push forward on his skates It was a bit unsettling, with nothing but a sharp, pointed blade on his feet keeping him steady. It almost wasn't fair how easily and gracefully Emily could glide along the slick surface. He couldn't watch her for very long, it was safer to look straight ahead. The way her elegant body moved made him feel so lightheaded and he needed to keep his composure.

After they made it one lap around, Reid let out a breath of comfort. "Well… this isn't so bad."

"See, I told you," Emily said happily. "This has always been my sanctuary… you know for many years, I thought about sharing it with you, but… I never thought you'd want to."

"I would have loved being here with you." Reid said, giving her a grin. Really, this wasn't so hard… as long as she didn't let go. "Then again, I would have loved doing pretty much anything with you."

She chuckled. "I know that now. Can you believe this week will be the one year anniversary since you lost your memory?"

She was right. This time a year ago, he was just days away from being kidnapped, and then lost for two months in a world of darkness. Even now, he could barely remember any of it. What he could recall was like being locked in someone else's head, face to face with all that he knew and loved… yet, it felt so foreign to him. It must have been like living in a nightmare. Reid suspected it wasn't so much he couldn't remember, his mind wouldn't let him. That was fine with him, and he hoped never again would he experience something so horrifying.

Then again, as long as this girl kept by his side, always holding his hand so tightly, he doubted he ever would.

"This has been an amazing summer, Spencer." Emily said, giving him an affectionate smile. "The best I ever had, I think. I've never been so happy."

"Me neither," He completely agreed. The last few months had been indescribable, the two spending time getting to know each other, opening up parts of themselves they'd never been able to reveal before, even if they had wanted to. For a while, it had been rough, with Sutter invading Emily's nightmares, but with Reid by her side, holding her close, they slowly got better. Now, with the year beginning to progress into fall, it was like it had never happened. As far as they knew, nothing so horrible would ever happen again.

"I have to admit, though," He added, "I'm a little surprised."

Interested, "How do you mean?"

"Well…" He thought of the way to put his thoughts into words. Easier said than done. If words were easy, they wouldn't have had such a hard time falling in love. "Haven't you ever dreamed of something for a long time and when you finally got it… it wasn't as good as you thought it would be?"

"Yeah," Emily nodded, her stomach clenching nervously.

"This was not one of those times." He said, exasperated. "After five years, I had so much built up in my mind about what we could have… the reality with you is so much better than any fantasy. I never would have believed that were possible."

She suddenly stopped skating. Expertly, still hanging onto his hand, Emily spun herself around the face him, taking his other grasp in hers. She stared deeply into his eyes. He gazed right back into her. He could hardly get over how beautiful she looked. Her eyes lit up with so much love, her ebony hair long and wavy around her, her alabaster skin glowing with a hint of pink from the cold. His memory could be such a curse sometimes, but right now it was what he was most grateful for. For the rest of his life, he'd always be able to recall her like this. He couldn't imagine she'd ever be more beautiful, but was very willing to make a bet with himself and see if time would prove that false.

"I'm sorry I never noticed you before you got sick," She admitted. He watched her rosy lips as she spoke, her words rolling over her snow white teeth. "It must have been agony. You went through five years alone. I could barely last six months, how could you have done it for so long?"

"Mostly because I knew it was better to have my friend than nothing at all." Reid explained. He carefully moved closer. "It was worth it… I would have waited my whole life, just to have one day with you. I made mistakes, but I managed to learn from them. A lot of good came out of it, too. Look at what we built over all this time. We're first and foremost friends; that strengthens what we have." He paused a moment, hanging his head a bit. "I'm just sorry we lost half a year because I couldn't remember what we had before."

Emily shook her head. "I'm not. I'd never want to do it again, trust me, but we got through it. Maybe we had to in order to really appreciate each other. And, do you want to know what the best part of it all was?" She asked, slipping right into his personal space. Reid smiled as her hand reached up to cradle the back of his head, her other sliding over his shoulder. "I got to fall in love with you all over again… and it was even better the second time."

Blushing uncontrollably, Reid couldn't help but grin. Sometimes he could hardly believe this was real, seeing her so in love with him. God, he hoped if this were a dream, he would never ever wake up. Maybe he wouldn't. Maybe this was Heaven.

She pulled his head down to crash his lips against hers. At once, they morphed into a passionate kiss. For a moment, they both forgot where they were, making Emily stumble. She had a sudden vision of falling to the frozen ice again in a painful crash. Amazingly though, she was wrong.

She didn't fall to the ground. Much to her astonishment, Reid's instincts kicked in in just in the nick of time, grabbing her protectively before she slipped out of reach.

It was incredible; he was still able to keep his balance. "Wow," She exclaimed, grabbing his sweater protectively. They were shaky and unstable, but for now they were still upright.

"I know," Reid said, carefully helping her find her balance again. He willed every part of himself to keep the strength and stay on his feet, trying not to think their stability relied on just two shards of metal. "I don't know where that came from."

She panted as she steadied herself. Emily couldn't help but give him a smile. "You're certainly full of surprises, aren't you?"

"I guess I am," Reid shrugged. "I hope that's not a problem."

With that, she pulled him into another kiss. He truly was full of surprises, and they had a lifetime together to discover each and every one. That wasn't a problem at all.

* * *

><p>AN: So there it is, the happy ending you were all waiting for since the end of the last story, I hope you guys are happy with it. I certainly am.

But, then again, it's not the end of the story. There's still a lot more to tell, so stay tuned for the next story at the beginning of June entitled Equilibrium.


End file.
